How can I stop thinking so much and start enjoying the NOW

[loveliketheflowers]

I am an overthinker. I think, then it goes into another subject then turns into something else. Next thing I realize I have thought about five different things in 5minutes without even realizing it. And I do this all the time. I can never really relax because I am always thinking about past experiences that have happened that I wish did not happen and could have done differently. Or I daydream about a situation I wish I was in like being wealthy or having my dream job or being with a certain special person I desire. I have read in "power of now" or "four agreements" that you must have control over your mind and your thoughts. But it feels impossible for me to accomplish sometimes. Sometimes I notice how much I have been thinking, I pause and tell myself to just "BE" and relax , but then the thinking comes back all over again.

How can I gain control over this terrible habit and live more in the moment and in the now and stop worrying about what is to come or thinking about how I could of done better in the past? I want to some the over thinking patterns and start to live in the present and possibly enjoy some good music or just some good hot green tea.

[Dharma]

Byron Katie's "Loving what is". (read first)

"Silence speaks", Eckhart Tolle.

[magi13]

^^, practice this patience exercise.

Try it for one minute first to get the feel of it. Then gradually add another minute every day.

First day 1min
Second day 2 min
Third day 3 min


Steps, just sit down, and listen to your breathing. Consciously feel your chest or stomach move.

Deepen your breathing, in out slowly for one minute. It'll test your patience, and force you to make an effort on that one subject. *breathing.

Sooner or later this will become automatic, when you feel your full of thought, or in a situation where you need to be calm, this'll calm you down automatically.

^^,

Hope this helps.

[SimonaRich]

You should start meditating as this will significantly reduce the amount of thoughts you get. That's the way I started controlling my mind.

I used to be in the same state as you but as soon as I started meditating, I was able to get rid of most negative thinking.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

How can I gain control over this terrible habit and live more in the moment

Funnily enough, one thing you can do is to stop resisting when you have lots of thoughts or worries, and ALLOW them to wash over or through you and go on their merry way (as opposed to fighting them and working to rid yourself of them.) You might want to practice letting go of your judgement of your thoughts, like "this terrible habit" and notice that your thoughts and worries and judgements were there with positive purpose -- that is, they serve the positive purpose of protecting or helping you. They may be outdated, sure, and are no longer really serving that original purpose. And now you can thank them and let them go, if you choose to.

Now, you are allowing your old, outdated thought patterns to simply flow through and out. What thoughts would you like to choose that feel good? Perhaps you'd like to have a cup of tea, or listen to some good music. It feels good just thinking about the delicious tea or the nice music, doesn't it? Even before you go to the kitchen or stereo. Just the delicious sensation of anticipation feels good, doesn't it. Mmmmm, a nice cup of tea. I think I'll go make myself one, too. Thank you!

[Matt Willard]

I've been having trouble with this area, too. I think I'm going to try a gradual approach as suggested earlier.

[Chris Cade]

I was recently approached by somebody to promote a $17 ebook that has practical exercises on how to live in the now. All in all, I think it's a good value at $17 for those who are looking for more of a "How To" (as opposed to a lot of theory with not a lot of practical applications). I plan to share it with some of my subscribers in the next month or two. If you're interested, then feel free to subscribe to my list and wait for the promo, or if you don't want to wait PM me and I'll get you the link as soon as I get all the final promo details.

[NexusOfCompletion]

Stop thinking about acting. Act.

[fionamydear]

hi,

involve yourself in physical activities,include house cleanining,cooking,gardening,
dont stay alone ,
listen to music,
100% u will see the change...

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by NexusOfCompletion

Stop thinking about acting. Act.

He's right. You either do or you don't. There is no "how."

[Swifthawk]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

I am an overthinker. I think, then it goes into another subject then turns into something else. Next thing I realize I have thought about five different things in 5minutes without even realizing it. And I do this all the time. I can never really relax because I am always thinking about past experiences that have happened that I wish did not happen and could have done differently. Or I daydream about a situation I wish I was in like being wealthy or having my dream job or being with a certain special person I desire. I have read in "power of now" or "four agreements" that you must have control over your mind and your thoughts. But it feels impossible for me to accomplish sometimes. Sometimes I notice how much I have been thinking, I pause and tell myself to just "BE" and relax , but then the thinking comes back all over again.

How can I gain control over this terrible habit and live more in the moment and in the now and stop worrying about what is to come or thinking about how I could of done better in the past? I want to some the over thinking patterns and start to live in the present and possibly enjoy some good music or just some good hot green tea.

I don't think the answer lies in trying some technique to get your mind to stop working. You need to really examine what you find the need to think about so often. If you are worrying about a certain aspect of your life, perhaps you need to take measures in order to feel confident about that area.

You need to hit it at it's source. If you get a plan, or what somewhat resembles a plan, you will find you are able to take some moments to really relax and be in the now.

Living in the now means you are focusing on the task at hand. With a plan in mind you are able to focus in the moment and let the other tasks come later.

When you find yourself worrying about the past, try to use this to your advantage. What can you learn about who you are by remembering what you regret about the situation. Find what you believe you may need to work on and begin to synthesize that into your life.

[Ralph]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

But it feels impossible for me to accomplish sometimes. Sometimes I notice how much I have been thinking, I pause and tell myself to just "BE" and relax , but then the thinking comes back all over again.

See? You've already got there! Now you just need to keep doing the same thing you've been doing in those few seconds of awakening.

You've been thinking all your life. It's normal that your thoughts have incredible momentum. The transformation may take time because you need to erase that momentum and get yourself moving in the opposite direction.

Just keep doing what works and you will notice that the gaps of presence are bogger and bigger. And here's a little something I wrote a while ago about tuning into unconditional love that would help you:

Spending time in nature

This is by far my most favorite type of meditation. Go into a 100% natural environment, like a forest, mountains, a lake or a beach. Make sure there are no human noises or elements of environment nearby. Don’t take your cell phone with you, it would tempt you to quit. Breathe deeply. Smile and relax. Observe the nature. Be in it. Embrace the trees and plants. Feel the calmness of water, the aliveness of plants. Feel their energy, so pure. Just let go and be present. Be aware of it all without mentally labeling it.

Don’t mentally analyze what you perceive. Don’t let any dialogues into your mind. Reduce your thinking processes to none or at least minimum. People tend to reduce the alive, beautiful being of so pure energy into a mental concept of an oak tree. Then, when you focus on the tree, your awareness is directed on the concept and you miss the whole beauty of the being. Don’t think about the nature! Bring it into your awareness. Don’t judge or analyze it. Embrace it.

If you’re bored or impatient, it’s an indicator that you’re doing it wrong. Impatience implies waiting. Don’t go nuts waiting for enlightenment to happen. Also don’t work your butt off trying to ‘get there’. Boredom or impatience is a sign that you’re stuck on the level of mind. Stop thinking, waiting, analyzing, doing. Start being. Just be aware of nature. Bring it into your awareness. There is no thought involved. If there is no thought, there’s no waiting.

After at least 10 minutes of doing so you will feel a deep bond with the nature. This bond will soon expand into unconditional love for all that is. Crucial part is to be aware of nature instead of thinking about it. There mustn’t be any mental noise or labels inside your head, it blocks you from perceiving the deeper truth. Thinking is good in a math class, but for love you need an open heart and silent mind.

If you feel compelled to leave before you feel unconditional love in the first two hours of spending time in nature, just ignore it and stay anyways. It’s an indicator that you’re overthinking. Your mind will literally go nuts because on the level of mind - nothing is happening for two hours. The act of being aware of nature and its energy is a much deeper process that can’t be grasped on the level of thought. Your mind will want to get out of there as soon as possible. It wants you you to get stuck doing seemingly urgent things. It will tell you that there is no time to be because you have so much to do! Such compulsion to quit is just an indicator that you’re overthinking and overanalyzing. Let go of everything and just be aware.

If you do it right, a few hours in nature can replace a week of holidays on a tropical island. You will feel even more refreshed and ready to go on in your life. Every now and then you will even realize that your life was going in a wrong direction and you realign with oneness. Unconditional love is guaranteed to be experienced.


Hope it helps a little
Ralph

[zoner7]

For starters, writing here isn't going to help. it will only provoke more thought and further ingrain your thinking ritual into your head. With that in mind, I'm going to make this post short because the longer it is, the more you will think.

Here we go. Begin the process with a full force jump into the realm of not thinking. Do something absolutely different and crazy, and go and do it. Now!

Be impulsive. When you get an idea to do something, don't reconsider. Jump into it. Make it a reflex. Make it a habit. If you catch yourself thinking about something trivial, scold your mind.

If something in the past went wrong, thinking about how you could have fixed it won't help; fixing it will, and that requires action.

Now that you finished this and understand what I'm saying, turn off the computer, and start acting. Stop reading. it perpetuates your situation.

[MartialDev]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

How can I gain control over this terrible habit and live more in the moment and in the now and stop worrying about what is to come or thinking about how I could of done better in the past? I want to some the over thinking patterns and start to live in the present and possibly enjoy some good music or just some good hot green tea.

What to do:
Find an activity that rewards complete presence and focus. Music (performance not consumption), dance, visual art, sports, or something of that nature. Do it, every day.

What not to do:
Read books on how to stop thinking. Discuss them on web forums.

[pooler]

You probably have a 'vivid' dream life as well. It appears you have a hyperactive 'mind.' When you are alone you tend to live in the past. Since you live in the past a good part of the time, you focus on how you would like for it to be different than what it is. Telling yourself it is useless to 'dwell on the past' is in itself useless unless you do something about it.
Behavioral psychologists believe thinking is just subvocal speech. Research has shown outloud-vocal speech can be modified, therefore so can subvocal speech or thinking. When you spend hours thinking about the past, etc., it is self-reinforcing. Consequently, you will spend more hours doing the same thing. In order to change your thinking pattern, you need to 'remind yourself' constantly to 'cut off' the thoughts when you realize you are doing it. It will be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. It takes effort to cut off a thought. One way to do it is to make notes to yourself and place them in different places where you spend a lot of your alone time. Simply say, "Stop thinking about the past" and force yourself to think of something happening now. Another thing that adds to the problem is you appear to engage in a lot of habitual behavior that doesn't require concentrated thought or effort. This type of boredom is not challenging to your mind so you start engaging in habitual thinking of the past. Try to force yourself to be aware of what you are doing and how you can improve on how to do it. Even the matter of how you mow the lawn...a very boring activity. Instead, try to think of a topic you'd like to explain or present to a group and make an outline in your mind of how you will present it so the group can follow your explanation. Also, you may be spending to much time by yourself. This is not challenging your mind. Try to be with others more and join in with their activities and discussions. Force yourself to not be judgemental in these discussions and activities. Make yourself look at things from the viewpoint of others and see if you can change your own opinions. That will be a real challenge. Good luck with this if you decide to do it.