Daydreaming is Wasting My Time

[MercuryLime]

I know some people claim that daydreaming has benefits.. But in my case, I have enough stuff to do WITHOUT daydreaming.

In my own experience, daydreaming is NEVER worth it. I think I have a bit of ADD.. But I want to fight and win this battle without any medication (I think it's very possible)

I find myself daydreaming:

• during school classes - even though I'd rather learn
• at night - even though I'd rather sleep
• while I'm listening to personal development audio programs - even though I'd rather pay attention to the words

I have fought this long and hard, but without much progress. I'll keep working on it, but if anyone has figured out a better way to stop daydreaming, please let me know.

My current solution is a ZERO-TOLERANCE policy - every time I catch myself daydreaming, I immediately stop (I write it down if I was thinking about anything of value). I need to enforce this more strictly.

I also found that, for instance, if I tell myself to listen and pay attention EVERY TIME I'm wearing headphones (no exceptions), that helps me focus more automatically.

Has anyone else succeeded in this area?

[Traffic]

I have the same problem with daydreaming and it's something I'm currently trying to deal with.

I'm not sure daydreaming is universally bad, I'm sure it has some use to us as human beings, but daydreaming all the time is a form of escapism. And for me, it leads to a lot of procrastination and minimal concentration.

Meditation, I believe is a useful tool in combatting the daydreaming force. The purpose of meditation is generally to develop focus on the reality as it is before you, which is exactly what you're looking to do. I find a relaxed mind to be a focused mind. It's all the gunge swilling about in there that messes you up, distracting you and taunting you at every possible occasion.

[alexb5784]

What are you daydreaming about all day? Are you visualizing yourself living the life that you want? What has your attention all day? Once you figure out why you're daydreaming these particular dreams all the time, you can then use that energy to dream and work on the dreams in real life.

I think it's great you daydream because some people won't even do it!

- Alexia

[Traffic]

Originally Posted by alexb5784

What are you daydreaming about all day? Are you visualizing yourself living the life that you want? What has your attention all day? Once you figure out why you're daydreaming these particular dreams all the time, you can then use that energy to dream and work on the dreams in real life.

I think it's great you daydream because some people won't even do it!

- Alexia

This question may not be aimed at me, but for me personally, much of the time I don't know what I'm dreaming about, I simply drift off into a trance like state. I would be genuinely intrigued to know if anyone knows what I'm talking about.

[alexb5784]

When you are in this trance state, are you just looking at random objects and not thinking about anything? Looking at the ceiling or something? You have to be thinking about something.

Well if anything, I would like to learn this trance state, so when I meet family member who are annoying, I can just veg out and not pay attention to them...just kidding

[FuturePast]

Blinks: A Phenomenon of Distractibility in Attention Deficit Disorder

Guys, if you think you may have ADHD, check it out properly; meditation isn't going to help.

[SamBeaven]

Give the zero-tolerance a go. If it doesn't work, maybe you could try setting aside time to do nothing but daydream - I've always interpreted this sort of thing as the subconscious making demands for time to be creative and make stupid stuff up, so maybe if you sit down and do some journalling, or just sit in a chair and dream away for a half hour or so it might help you focus at other times.

I know that probably sounds like a waste of time, but if it can get everything out and allow you to focus effectively it sounds like a better alternative.

[Cassie]

I agree with SamBeaven. If you let it run its course through journaling, for example, you can 'empty' your mind for concentration in other areas.

Vegging out isn't necessarily a bad thing. try to get some thoughts on paper. the longer you write, the more your subconscious will peek through. i bet some really cool stuff might emerge.

[StevenA]

Try removing TV from your life for a month. In my experience, TV totally trains your brain to take information in quick and preorganized bursts. Unfortunately, human beings don't communicate that way. They like to take their sweet time, which might be the reason your mind tends to wander. I couldn't concentrate for crap because about 4 months ago I used to watch at least 8 hours of television per day. I'm currently watching four and a half to six hours of TV per week and I can already see a difference in my concentration socially and when reading. My inner dialogue has improved and I can sort problems out in my head with much more success. I'm also not as socially aggressive or dramatic, either.

[bollenbach]

hmm that's interesting about TV.

I find myself TV retarded.. I was so little TV. I find that if I am watching TV it's usually because someone else wants me to watch it. When I watch TV alone.. I get fed up.. it's a wasted of time and there's never anything worth while to watch. I enjoy channels like discovery, history, documentary, or anything else with mental value. Actual TV shows just don't interest me.

I like watching the odd movie here and there.. but even then I find it pretty rare that I'll land up watching one .

I know what you're saying though. I find that my biggest problem use to be with music. I just couldn't catch on to the lyrics of a song... for the life of me... seriously when music would play and there was melody in the background.. my mind would float to that and tune out the lyrics. Lately it's coming a lot easier to me... but I guess I've come a long way!

[PresNevins]

That's interesting, as I've definitely always been the same way in terms of music vs. lyrics.

I can happily listen to a song an indefinite number of times without ever engaging the "comprehend these lyrics" part of my mind. Though in my case I want to go out karaoke-ing with my wife I can easily enough learn the lyrics (and go "oh, that's what this song was about!") And from time to time a song will have lyrics that are negative enough (or repetitive enough) that a sort of override kicks in and brings the lyrics to my conscious attention, and I can choose to not listen to that song if something about it bugs me.

Strangely enough I'm certainly not left-brain challenged, since I've gotten fairly literate in Japanese in the 20 years since I started studying it. It's just that the part of my mind that listens to the sounds seems to connect in a deeper way than the part that interprets the words. But hey, maybe that helps in learning good pronunciation too!

Pres

[MercuryLime]

Originally Posted by Traffic

I have the same problem with daydreaming and it's something I'm currently trying to deal with.

I'm not sure daydreaming is universally bad, I'm sure it has some use to us as human beings, but daydreaming all the time is a form of escapism. And for me, it leads to a lot of procrastination and minimal concentration.

Meditation, I believe is a useful tool in combatting the daydreaming force. The purpose of meditation is generally to develop focus on the reality as it is before you, which is exactly what you're looking to do. I find a relaxed mind to be a focused mind. It's all the gunge swilling about in there that messes you up, distracting you and taunting you at every possible occasion.

I don't think it's bad either.. It's useful during relaxed times in life.. But my life is pretty busy right now, and I like it the way it is.. I don't have time to daydream.

Originally Posted by alexb5784

What are you daydreaming about all day?

I usually think about things I could add to my website, video games I could make, and the future in general.. not a realistic future, an ideal future.

Originally Posted by SamBeaven

Give the zero-tolerance a go. If it doesn't work, maybe you could try setting aside time to do nothing but daydream - I've always interpreted this sort of thing as the subconscious making demands for time to be creative and make stupid stuff up, so maybe if you sit down and do some journalling, or just sit in a chair and dream away for a half hour or so it might help you focus at other times.

I know that probably sounds like a waste of time, but if it can get everything out and allow you to focus effectively it sounds like a better alternative.

I have an in-depth journal and I get my thoughts out every evening. The thing is, even after I have satisfactorily gone through a certain thought and resolved it, it keeps coming back and popping into my head.

Originally Posted by StevenA

Try removing TV from your life for a month.

I barely ever watch TV.. but that's a good idea. I never turn the TV on, but sometimes I pay attention when my parents are watching something.

[Milo Riano]

I used to day dream a lot. But later I realized its because of feeling insecure and lack of confidence to live in the current state. I began reminding myself things have to be done and it whats gonna make me successful, not the dreaming part.

[alexb5784]

Originally Posted by MercuryLime

I usually think about things I could add to my website, video games I could make, and the future in general.. not a realistic future, an ideal future.

I don't think you are being unrealistic with your daydreaming. If you want to create games, then find a way to do it. It you want to add stuff to your web site, then do it. You can do anything you want

Ok, so you can't create a Doom type game in one night, but you can start to write just a few lines of code this week and go from there. You can write a description of what you want to have on your site today. Just start small and go from there. It doesn't take much to get started, but it does take a lot to keep going...but it's worth it.

[Dating Specialist]

I used to day-dream lots when I was much younger, during my school days. Lately, especially when I'm so busy with what I'm doing I realised that I've practically no time left to day-dream?

Instead, I visualise. I guess it's just a very grey line between day-dreaming and visualising. While the former just let your mind drift directionlessly, the latter allows us to build possibilities and dreams, to feel how it will feel like when we're finally there.

So I guess maybe we're just bored that's why we daydream? so now whenever I caught myself daydreaming, I quickly switch it to visualising instead. Ha, well, I guess at least I'm inspiring myself.

[Reyv]

Originally Posted by MercuryLime

I usually think about things I could add to my website, video games I could make, and the future in general.. not a realistic future, an ideal future.

Funny. I'm currently trying to do more of that as part of my LoA practice, especially the ideal future part.

I used to daydream a lot, but I've phased it out over time, mostly because it was the unconscious type of daydreaming. I'd just drift off into fantasy land, and when I eventually regained conscious awareness I was often stumped to realize that I'd spent 20 minutes daydreaming and could barely recall what about. Plus, not all the paths my mind took were that positive. Many times I just vividly imagined negative scenarios, and went over them again and again like a mind game trying to figure out the best possible way to handle them.

Currently I'm trying to restrict myself to fully conscious daydreaming (if you can still call it that), wherein I choose the most positive scenarios I can imagine, and I try to experience them as vividly as possible.

[MercuryLime]

Originally Posted by alexb5784

I don't think you are being unrealistic with your daydreaming. If you want to create games, then find a way to do it. It you want to add stuff to your web site, then do it. You can do anything you want

Ok, so you can't create a Doom type game in one night, but you can start to write just a few lines of code this week and go from there. You can write a description of what you want to have on your site today. Just start small and go from there. It doesn't take much to get started, but it does take a lot to keep going...but it's worth it.

well, no, I already make online flash games.. I know it's possible to do that stuff. My problem is that I zone out and think about it while I'm supposed to be learning Spanish.

For instance, today, we started a new semester at school and I'm in Broadcast (which is in charge of the weekly school TV show). We started off doing some really cool stuff, and talked about designing a logo and intro sequence.. So next block, English, I'm daydreaming about cool things I could relating to broadcast, instead of paying attention to the assignment the teacher handed out. I haven't been able to control my attention like that. THAT'S the type of thing I'm trying to avoid - actually missing more valuable information (the english assignment) because I'm daydreaming.

[indestructible]

I am a frequent daydreamer and have been my whole life. Although it does help me be creative, it wastes a lot of time and I find sometimes it is simply a means of escape. I have really enjoyed reading the posts above because now I know that I am not alone!

In the past year I have quit drinking coffee (which used to wreck my attention span) and learned a lot about meditation. Those two things together have helped. Meditiation helps because it focuses on staying in the present instead of being in dream land. I think it is a richer life if I am truly engaged instead of escaped! Pema Chodron has some really good books about it and I even joined a Zen Meditation Center (where you have to stare at a wall and think of nothing) for a short time.

I am still a dreamer, but I think I now do it about 2x as much as the regular person rather than 10x. I hope this helps others in the same situation!

[Conan Stevens]

Some old Australian advice -

"Pull your thumb out of your @$$ boy and do something" - glad to share this sage advice, given to me as a child, with foreigners who may not have heard of the practicality of Aussies.

If you're offended by slightly harsh language then my apologies but you'll probably be offended by Australia.

[Ellesse]

When you are in this trance state, are you just looking at random objects and not thinking about anything? Looking at the ceiling or something? You have to be thinking about something.

Well if anything, I would like to learn this trance state, so when I meet family member who are annoying, I can just veg out and not pay attention to them...just kidding

More often than not I realise I am in this "daydream" mode when I am very exhausted and I don't personally think it's totally negative, since I usually feels much more refreshed after letting my mind relax.

I've also noticed my tendency to fall into that state of mind is reduced after a workout in the gym or a run in the park. I get more perky, alert and can focus on my activities better.

[alexb5784]

I've been meditating on a regular basis for almost a year and my random daydreaming habit has disappeared. I do however make it ok for me to daydream as I do errands, while listening to music on my iPod. I just think about my intentions and my ideal life. It works for me and allows me to be focused when I need to be. It's just a habit that took time to implement and a lot of messing up and trying all over again. But I got it right

[mattsonn]

Ditto. I have the exact same issue. But over the past few months I've been getting better about it.