Help! Too many goals. How to choose??

[Rose of Cairo]

Hi all,

I completely changed my mind. I won't focus on fitness in 2009.

I'll focus on building self-discipline.

Yeah I hate self-discipline. That's exactly why. Self-discipline is my weakest link, I'm aware of that.

My goal is to align with Power, and this means building my self-discipline. I'll especially work on the areas of habits.

If I master my habits, I'm sure it will do more for both my career and fitness than to focus explicitely on either of them. Because what I lack in the area of carrer or fitness is not direction, or clarity, it's just the right habits.

I said.

[Victor Vikingr]

I think that may be smart. Did your boredom trigger this?

Will you quit chocolate now?

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Victor Vikingr

I think that may be smart. Did your boredom trigger this?

Not the boredom itself, but talking about it in this other thread, yes. It lead me to the conclusion that what I most need is self-discipline and to create supportive habits for my goals.

Will you quit chocolate now?

No

I have decided to focus on positive, new habits, not on old, negative ones.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Not the boredom itself, but talking about it in this other thread, yes. It lead me to the conclusion that what I most need is self-discipline and to create supportive habits for my goals.

How will you handle your focus on self-discipline going forward when you are faced with another bout of boredom or other obstacle? Will you just push through with grim determination? Will you look to inspire yourself? Or will you just do what you said you'd do just because you said you'd do it?

What I'm asking is, now that you've been through that boredom episode, are there any new resources you've learned for achieving self-discipline?

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Angela

What I'm asking is, now that you've been through that boredom episode, are there any new resources you've learned for achieving self-discipline?

Yes!

I need to think more about it before I reply. But yes, definitely.

[lasti]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hi all,

I completely changed my mind. I won't focus on fitness in 2009.

I'll focus on building self-discipline.

Yeah I hate self-discipline. That's exactly why. Self-discipline is my weakest link, I'm aware of that.

My goal is to align with Power, and this means building my self-discipline. I'll especially work on the areas of habits.

If I master my habits, I'm sure it will do more for both my career and fitness than to focus explicitely on either of them. Because what I lack in the area of carrer or fitness is not direction, or clarity, it's just the right habits.

I said.

Great! I also want to built more self-discipline. Which habits do you want to implement? And what are you going to do besides implementing habits?

[Foo]

Hi Rose,

At first glance it seems your problems and objectives are very similar to mine. I have a lot of objectives and choices. I want to do sooooo many things...

As I wrote in my first post, I'll focus on a specific goal each month of this year. January is my month of emancipation (an essential step in my life in order to be productive). Among other goals, I want to consolidate my freelance career, to archieve a polyphasic sleep schedule and a raw diet.

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

- recover my rusty Spanish till it's fluent

I'm from Spain and I wouldn't mind talking to someone about our goals, which should we choose and how to focus. PM me if you're interested

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hi all,

I completely changed my mind. I won't focus on fitness in 2009.

I'll focus on building self-discipline.

Yeah I hate self-discipline. That's exactly why. Self-discipline is my weakest link, I'm aware of that.

My goal is to align with Power, and this means building my self-discipline. I'll especially work on the areas of habits.

If I master my habits, I'm sure it will do more for both my career and fitness than to focus explicitely on either of them. Because what I lack in the area of carrer or fitness is not direction, or clarity, it's just the right habits.

I said.

self-discipline sounds so punishing
like you are going to obedience school

what about self-training ?


chocolate lovers unite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Yes!

I need to think more about it before I reply. But yes, definitely.

I am SO looking forward to hearing about it. I learn so much from you!

[Rose of Cairo]

Hi all,

I have completely changed my mind again. I won't focus on self-discipline in 2009.

I don't know what I'm going to focus on. Maybe on feeling good?

I really hate self-discipline. It makes me feel very bad. I feel like a slave. Knowing how low my self-discipline is, I did set very easy goals. Just three minutes of meditation, just 30 minutes of walking, etc. I do much more than that already. Just not every day. But even though I'm already able to do it, and I usually already do it quite often... when I decide to do it every day, I don't do it at all anymore! I hate those things I set as a daily goal. I can't stand doing them!

Every time I really, really wanted or loved something, in the past, I always did it or got it. No need for self-discipline for that! The problem is just that maybe I don't want what I think I want that badly. Or when I don't feel good, I don't work towards my goals anymore.

Instead of learning how to work in spite of not really wanting it or in spite of not feeling good, why not figure out what I truly truly want, and learn how to feel better?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

...why not figure out what I truly truly want, and learn how to feel better?

Sounds good to me.

What is your heart's desire? What would be present if all your wishes came true?

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Angela

What is your heart's desire?

Dunno. To feel really passionate about something again?

I mean, of course I have some desires. But none is strong enough to motivate me to the point of realizing it.

What would be present if all your wishes came true?

Integrity, Compassion, Courage. Love, Power, Abundance. And Flow. And of course, Harmony.

[Parthon]

To get my main goals, I meditated on the question: What would be the three most important areas in life for me right now. I came up with: Health, Career and Following my Dreams. Then I asked: What would a fulfillment of those areas look like? And wrote down a concrete specific achievable result that could easily be achieved in a year. Then I figured out how to do it, worked through a plan. Then I had my areas, my goal and my path.

Then the most important part, I asked myself why, and came up with:

Health:
Weigh 90 kgs and Be fit and healthy
How?
Eat healthy food. No takeaway, sugar or "white food".
Ride my ex bike for 30 minutes twice a day.
Do 3 sets of pushups, situps and squats in the morning and evening.
Why?
To be fit and healthy and feel good about myself. To be an inspiration to others. To have the energy and will to follow through on my life purpose, whatever that turns out to be. To live, to breathe and to experience. To thank my body for being here for me.

Career:
Find a better job that I enjoy, earning at least 40k a year.
How?
Finish my resume by the end of the weekend.
Send it out to at least 1 company per day, with cover sheet until I have the job.
Why?
To support my growth and bring new experiences into my life. To see where life will take me and to uncover the truth behind the world. To interact and live.

Following my dream:
Finish a computer game.
How?
Spend at least 20 hours a week on writing a computer game, starting with Randor, and working until finished.
4 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Why?
To express my inner ideas. To give to people the fun and joy that I've received from computer games. To help people reconnect with what they love to do, and bring home that life is fun and meant to be enjoyed. To reawaken the child within everyone.

Just as an example. Perhaps what's most missing for you is the why of the goals. You can have a great goal and a fantastic path, but without figuring out why you are doing it, and without connecting with the heart that lies in it, you will be unsure. Your goals are as real as you make them, and you can connect with them too. Find the passion in them and the rest is straightforward.

Also, once you have your 3 main areas, they are what you will definately take at least one significant action on per day, then you can add a number of minor goals, but no more than 12.

ps. Following the path is a whole different matter entirely.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Dunno. To feel really passionate about something again?

I mean, of course I have some desires. But none is strong enough to motivate me to the point of realizing it.


Integrity, Compassion, Courage. Love, Power, Abundance. And Flow. And of course, Harmony.

How about your first response: PASSION. Not passion "about something", but rather just Passion as a complete and whole quality in your life. That is: BEING Passion. What would your life be like if you being passion? Would that inspire you? Do any inspired actions occur to you?

[Rose of Cairo]

Well... Edit: this is my reply to Parthon.

I have the three areas, I have the how, I have the why.

The why is important to me.

It's just... dunno. There's no real passion for it, maybe?

Maybe I'm just making excuses because I'm deeply lazy? I don't know.

No, impossible. When I'm truly passionate about something, I can work like a dog, fourteen hours a day every day for months. No laziness. Plus, resisting what I want to do costs much more energy than actually doing it, I've noticed this very well in the last few days. So, if I were lazy, I'd just do it.

Maybe I don't believe in the why.

And I hate self-discipline so much.

Someone once told me self-discipline is true freedom, because when you decide to do something, and you have high self-discipline, then you can trust yourself that you will end up actually doing it. You can focus on important decisions without having to organize your daily life.

I agree, and it sounds awesome. But when I try to be self-disciplined, it just feels like a cage, and I end up hating what I used to love, simply because I don't feel free to follow my impulses and to do things when I feel inspired to do them.

Btw, Parthon, I wish you lots of success with your goals!

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Angela

How about your first response: PASSION. Not passion "about something", but rather just Passion as a complete and whole quality in your life.

Ohhh!!! This is very interesting. I always thought I need something to be passionate about if I want to feel passionate about something. But you are right, I can feel very passionate for no particular reason. People often say I'm a passionate person, so I can be passionate with no object for my passion, right?

That is: BEING Passion. What would your life be like if you being passion? Would that inspire you? Do any inspired actions occur to you?

Of course it inspires me! I don't know yet what my life would be like if I were being passion, I need to think about it some more. Same for inspired actions, I need to let them show up on their own, it's too new now. But I really like the idea! Thanks Angela. I'll meditate and journal about being passion.

One idea I have now is that if I were being passion, I'd write much more on my blog. I often have spontaneous ideas "oohhh I'd love to write about xyz on my blog!" and I already have plenty of ideas popping into my mind. But then I hold myself back, because I need to do this and this and that first. And when I'm done with this and this and that, the inspiration for writing about xyz is dead, and I end up not writing anything. Sometimes I even procrastinate on this and this and that because I resent having to do it instead of writing about xyz. As a result I do nothing at all.

I designed a great plan for the career area, but it doesn't work. I just cannot write on topic T today just because I decided that today I would write about topic T. That's not how things work, self-discipline or not.

Today I even ended up watching Sex and the City on TV instead of working just because I was pissed about having to work. I mean, I never watch TV! And Sex and the City is about the dumbest thing I have ever seen! But everything was better than to do what was on the plan.

About one year ago I already had the exact same problem and you Angela suggested I work through the artist's way. You said I'm an artist and artistic inspiration hates to be constricted by self-discipline. Or something like that. Or at least that's how I (conveniently!) remember it.

I still don't believe I am an artist. It seems that I'm at the exact same place I already was one year ago, when I was wondering what to do and having doubts about writing etc.

Oh my, I'm sorry. It feels like I'm crying for help and complaining all the time on these boards at the moment. I'm feeling lost and confused.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

I still don't believe I am an artist.

Hey, Rose, if you DID believe that you are an artist, how would you know that? I mean: what would your life be like, what would you do when you got up in the morning, how would you sleep, what would you wear, in what part of your body would you feel "I am an artist"? How would that feel? Peer into your possible future, and tell me what's present when "I am an artist." Would you, please?

[lifetimelearner]

are you still human?
okay now that we have that confirmed

let me say-
BIG HAIRY DEAL

we all go through this Rose-do not think that you are alone

I get excited about following a new career
than the next day I say -but that's not realistic
so back to trying to figure things out again

it's a process and I guess some people do better than us other people

[Rose of Cairo]

@lifetimelearner: Thank you so much for your kind words! You're helping me a lot, I feel supported by you in a very heart warming manner.

@Angela: Okay, I will meditate and journal about "I am passion" and about "I am an artist". I'll let you know what I come up with. Thanks!

I just wanted to report a funny synchronicity: While looking for this post where Angela defended me against hideous evil self-discipline, I found a post by someone who posted just three times on these boards and had the signature "EBook writing and marketing secrets". This is exactly what I should be learning right now, so I clicked on it, and found this website. And this is the beginning of today's post:

If you have been procrastinating about getting your eBook completed, I encourage you to do whatever you need to get it done. It is your duty and obligation to share your message with others. You never know whose life you may end up touching after they read what you have written.

Isn't that a nice message from my guides?

[Parthon]

I believe everyone's an artist.

If the Why doesn't move you to tears and make you want to sing, dance, cry and laugh all at the same time, then it's not a reason you connect with. If you picked those areas of life and those goals then you'd have a very deep reason for why, you just have to discover it. The best way is just clear your mind, then ask the question "Why do I want to get healthy?" then write down the answers until you reach it. And you know when you will.

ps. Thanks

[lifetimelearner]

how are you doing today Rose ?


when you post and try to figure things out it resonates with me
I see you in me


I feel like my purpose is like the wind I can feel it
but I just can't seem to grasp it !!

and when I think of self-discipline I picture one of the older nuns I had in Catholic school standing in front of the class with her big ruler in her hand waiting to pop me on the knuckles at any time

[Hyperchiller]

Hey Rose

Why don't you work on self-discipline and fitness at the same time? Working on self-discipline alone seems like an empty statement to me. You can't work on self-discipline if you don't have a medium to do it through. Fitness would bring it down to reality and you can measure your self-discipline with that.

Yang

[Rose of Cairo]

@Hyperchiller:

Yes of course, the goals I tried to work on my self-discipline with are mostly career or health oriented goals. Some spiritual stuff, too.

But when I try to do it in a self-disciplined way, I just stop doing it altogether - which is worse for my health, career, and spiritual life than not working on self-discipline at all!

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Angela

Hey, Rose, if you DID believe that you are an artist, how would you know that? I mean: what would your life be like, what would you do when you got up in the morning, how would you sleep, what would you wear, in what part of your body would you feel "I am an artist"? How would that feel? Peer into your possible future, and tell me what's present when "I am an artist." Would you, please?

I've thought about this a little. I would feel it in my chest. It would feel like... being spoiled. Like absolute luxury. Being free to play all day long.

My life wouldn't be that different in fact. I've thought about it. I'd sleep just the way I sleep now (going to bed when I'm tired and getting up when I wake up, with no concerns about time). When I get up, I'd go play. I'd wear the same as I do now. If I had more money I'd buy vegan, organic, fair-traded clothes, but the style would be basically the same.

It would just be all the same. Except that I wouldn't feel bad about living this way. I wouldn't try to learn self-discipline, I wouldn't try to change the way I live all the time.

So I guess it's more a matter of inner attitude?

However, what's present when I think "I'm an artist" simply is "That's not true." I don't believe it. I think I have a reporter's soul, not an artist's soul. Does this make sense?

[supertom]

for me the best way to develop my self discipline was doing things I dont like, but the funny thing it after you doing it for a while you start enjoying it

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Parthon

If the Why doesn't move you to tears and make you want to sing, dance, cry and laugh all at the same time, then it's not a reason you connect with.

Thanks Parthon. I did some honest journaling about why I want to reach all those goals. I came up with many great reasons but none of them made me want to sing, dance, cry and laugh all at the same time. I connect with the reasons intellectually, but not really emotionally.

The goals I most strongly connect with emotionally, I have just no reason at all for wanting to do them! I couldn't come up with one good reason. It was more like "I just want to do it, period."

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

how are you doing today Rose ?

Great! Thanks for caring.

when you post and try to figure things out it resonates with me
I see you in me

I hope it helps you too?

I feel like my purpose is like the wind I can feel it
but I just can't seem to grasp it !!

Do you know the book Life on Purpose by Brad Swift?

and when I think of self-discipline I picture one of the older nuns I had in Catholic school standing in front of the class with her big ruler in her hand waiting to pop me on the knuckles at any time

Ugh! Poor you. I have a bad image of self-discipline too. To me it always seems that people with high self-discipline are anal retentive masochists permanently busy with admiring how disciplined they are, instead of doing what they do out of love. I'm exaggerating of course, but you get the idea.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by supertom

for me the best way to develop my self discipline was doing things I dont like, but the funny thing it after you doing it for a while you start enjoying it

But why on earth would you want to do things you don't like in the first place?! I really don't see the point. If you don't like them, there's a good reason for that.

When I do things I don't like, I don't start liking them after a while. I start hating them on the contrary. I even start hating things I previously loved when I do them for the sake of self-discipline instead of because of being genuinely driven to do them.

[Angela]

So what I hear you saying, I think is: Being an artist equals Being Play.

Does Being Play inspire you, or would you rather Be a Reporter?

[MasterD]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

- align with Power, Authority and Abundance
- find my inner peace
- journal three pages every morning (I already do that and want to continue)
- get my driver's license
- eat 100% low-fat raw vegan.
- go to bed early
- exercise much more or more intensively than now (what exactly is still unclear)
- become officially self-employed
- develop my blog (technique + content)
- build websites 1, 2, 3 and 4
- write eBooks 1, 2 and 3
- learn about internet marketing and SEO
- learn webdesign, php, maybe ruby
- learn latex
- learn to speak fluent English
- recover my rusty Spanish till it's fluent
- learn Russian
- create a Toastmasters club where I live (I wanted to join but there is none)
- create a local Personal Development club where I live
- write novels 1, 2 and 3
- write screenplays 1 and 2
- write my children's book
- improve my connection with the Universe / my spirit guides / my higher self
- develop my claircognizance
- meditate daily
- daily chakra cleansing
- daily kinesiology exercises
- learn energy healing
- learn massage
- meet my perfect dance partner and dance the most harmonious tango argentino
- take a bellydancing class
- take a streetfighting class
- make clay sculptures
- travel to Serbia
- travel to Estonia

LOL. Rosine. This is a great list. Why don't scratch off 80% and aim for max. 7 of those?

Self-discipline is WAY overrated by the way. You only have a very limited amount of it and only if you are feeling good and don't burn it on all kind of nonsense.

The trick is to create one new ritual a month in order to make something a habit. For instance you aim to get up every day at 7am and do some exercise after right away. After 30 days it will be automatic and it will cost you self-discipline NOT to do it. If you decide to do such a thing there is NO other habit you can adapt that month, you will fail. The month after you may schedule the first hour of your day to learn a new skill and make that a habit. Etc...

If I were you, I would aim to create a structure in the day for 2009 in which you can achieve well. If that is set up you can achieve many of your other goals MUCH faster WITHIN the structure of achievement that is now completely habitual.

Right now you are focussing all your willpower on a 100 different things and nothing gets done.

Anyway, I recognize your dilemma as a dilemma I have very much myself. And this is the way I am going to deal with it. Join me and you cannot fail .

[lifetimelearner]

I do care Rose or I wouldn't be posting

Life on Purpose -I don't know this book but I am going to check it out thanks