Problem I am struggling with

[pemba]

I cant seem to put my thoughts into words or writing. I might think of a good idea or argument clearly in the back of my mind but when I try to speak it or write it down my mind goes blank. I also sometimes forget simple words or names. I think this problem has to do with social anxiety since I was a very introverted person all my life, I have just recently broke lose and have started communicating more. will this problem go away with more practice?

[dali]

Pemba. They say practice makes perfect. They dont say how long that will take. I think its a good sign that you recognise these things about yourself. Keep writing things down and it might be a good idea to try to laugh at your mistakes.I cringe when I look at most of the things I write but so what? Its only embarassment!!

Theres a good old adage used in twelve step programmes "This too shall pass!" Everything does. Absolutely everything. Once you have said a thing or written a thing it has passed! Get on with the next thing and the next...perfection will pass too!!

ENJOY THE JOURNEY.

[splat]

Yes!

I know exactly what you mean. I don't have this problem all the time though, it seems to come and go.

I just cannot articulate the emotions or thoughts.

I don't really pay attention to this problem when it does happen though - I either just don't express myself, or I wait until it comes.

Since I don't pay much attention to the problem I don't really know how I can help you with it. The piece of information I can give you though is that when I read textbooks (for university) that uses advanced language I can express myself more clearly. It put me in a state of mind where I was much more able to articulate my thoughts, but (maybe because of the nature of what I was reading) the creative level of my thoughts didn't really improve.

[canyontothesky]

I can offer a suggestion for the writing part. Do free writes. If you can get over all of your preconceptions and just do it, it really helps. What it is, is you just set a period of time, let's say 5 minutes or 10 minutes, and you write down everything that comes to mind on that topic. You aren't allowed to stop writing (or typing) to think, you aren't allowed to correct grammar or go back and change sentences. The point is that it doesn't matter what you write down, even if you have to write two or ten sentences of "I don't know what to write," until you have another thought, just do it anyway.

Once you're done, you have everything you have to say on the page. Often times it's things you are too afraid to say, but you said anyway. That's great! And what it produces is something of a first draft. When you're done, reread it. You can pick out your key sentences or figure out how to reword it. Or even throw it away. But the point is you get it all out first, and no one ever has to see it. Even with something as simple as an e-mail you have to write, try this first. I know it's time consuming, but if you practice doing this, then it becomes easier to access your thoughts.

I hope it helps, and I hope that if you think it could work that you at least try it. I see a lot of kids in class give up mid way and stop writing, and it doesn't help. You have to write through the whole time you committed to, and not stop, and it really works. I've written some great pieces this way, but it's not useful only for long, important things.

[rosegold]

I have the same problem when I am self-conscious--aware of the social situation and nervous because of it. When I focus just on the problem, the right words come to mind.

[beautyscientist]

Pemba,

Your post isn't very good evidence of your lack of writing ability. It is clear, concise and expressive. All the people who have responded to it so far seem to have understood it perfectly.

You might be better at writing than you think.

[smartile]

Originally posted by pemba
I might think of a good idea or argument clearly in the back of my mind but when I try to speak it or write it down my mind goes blank.

I've had many of those thoughts too

Originally posted by pemba
I think this problem has to do with social anxiety since I was a very introverted person all my life

It's interesting that you mention this. As a writer I sometimes feel like I "can't get out" what I want to say or express. And in other situations I find it very easy to express myself with the written word.

In those moments when I don't "feel" like writing I just start writing anyways. This is the easiest way to get through writers-block. Just start writing something - it doesn't even have to make sense, but there is this certain something that happens when you start writing that leaves more room for new ideas to surface. I'm not quite sure how it works, but I know it does.

It's sort of like playing a record, I guess. At first you might not like the music, but if you play it long enough you start to like the tune. In other words, if you've got something to say, just say it - and eventually it will start to sound like a tune you can groove to

[pemba]

Thanks for all the help guys. I think this problem also stems from poor English grammar and vocab. I cant put my ideas into structured sentences and paragraphs. I also have a problem finding the right words for my thoughts. Does anyone know of anything that can help with this?

thanks

[dali]

Pemba.

I always go to Byron Katie with my problems. Look up "The Work" of Byron Katie and see if her enquiry process can help you. You seem stuck on the idea that you CANT do this thing.She has a solution. Try it!!

[Ralph]

I remember having similar problem about a year ago when I went from introvert to extrovert. Back then, I could barely speak Polish anymore

I just pushed through, talked a lot. I raised my hand in the classes, even entered some competitions primarily based on speaking, like acting or debating, which was a huge step outside of my comfort zone.

Now, after a year, I can happily say that my spoken language is above average, or even very good. There is one positive thought that virtually kills the fear of failure - after school I'll completely change my environment. I can do my best thinking that it's just a simulation, a sandbox that'll prepare me for adulthood in different environment.


You just need to make up for all those introverted years, every skill takes time to develop. Stay on track and remember that it gets better with every failure.

[dice]

sometimes i get that too, usually when i've isolated myself for a long period of time from places/things (like books, tv, art) where other people have expressed their thoughts . picking up a good book (woody allen is my favorite for this) and just reading it and seeing how he gets his (very absurd) ideas accross helps pull the plug. sitcoms help me too. will and grace esp. loosens me up and gets me babbling again. in fact, i'm watching it right now! best of luck my friend.

[Exhausted]

strangely enough i have the same problem and have had the problem for some time. I still struggle with it but when i think about it is when i really start struggling with it. When i get nervous and experience social anxiety it tends to intensify, and i then have trouble generating my thought process into words. On the bright side, it will eventually fade i'm sure, just have to get out, make friends, and be willing to try new things.

[apteryx01]

Originally Posted by pemba

Thanks for all the help guys. I think this problem also stems from poor English grammar and vocab. I cant put my ideas into structured sentences and paragraphs. I also have a problem finding the right words for my thoughts. Does anyone know of anything that can help with this?

thanks

Two ideas:

1. Relentless practice. Talk/write. Do as well as you can, no matter how bad that is. Look over what you did. See ways you could have done better. Repeat.

2. Take a course in improvisational comedy. This is what brought me out of my shell. Through easy exercises that each take you a little bit out of your comfort zone, improv teaches you to trust your subconscious ability to talk completely off the cuff. It activates your natural talent for this, and kills off perfectionism and self-censoring.