Should I drop out?

[Foggy]

So last night I hit myself with the realization that I'm not sure I want to be in college. The thought has been there for a few weeks, but last night it came about pretty hard, and it's still there, lingering. I was actually considering taking some time off, but now I'm uncertain if I ever want to come back. School has never been an enjoyable experience for me. In high school I often said that I never wanted to go to college. I was temporarily excited senior year about going to college with the promise that the classes would be more interesting than high school classes. The truth is, if you aren't particularly interested in academic subjects, like me, classes are going to remain boring. I am spending a ridiculous amount of money to be here; and I am strongly convinced that my life passion involves playing music. I could go for a music major here, but I am only about 3 months into playing guitar, and so there is no chance at all of me passing the competitive auditioning process. I could get a job, take private guitar and theory lessons, and avoid racking up $27,000 in debt every year. My decision process is actually fairly complicated though.

Reasons why I shouldn't drop out-

- I have never been able to organize my time and motivate myself to do school work. Perhaps my dislike of college stems from my own weaknesses and I am considering dropping out as a way of running away from them.

- Both my parents expect me to go to college. The lovely thing about being an adult without a car, a license, or any saved money is that I am still dependent on my parents, a lot. I'm sure that even if I decide to drop out my parents would still help me until I could reasonably live on my own, but the act of me dropping out would be a symbol of failure to them.

- I am unsure fully of the consequences of dropping out. College is a really cozy place. I'm sure living in the real world cannot be this easy, so I'm almost afraid to leave. What do I do about medical insurance? Where do I live? How do I make enough money for the things I want?

- Maybe if I stay longer I'll find a subject that really interests me. This is what my mom tells me. I'm not sure if I believe this. I have never had a calling anywhere near as strong as the one to be a musician. It's been there since freshmen year in high school, but only just recently have I developed the ambition to go through with it.

- I like the people here. I enjoy living independently without having to worry about paying for it until later. In general, I am much more happy in college than I was living at home.

- I sound a little silly talking about being a musician when my musical experience amounts to 3 months of guitar and 2 years of trombone.

Reasons I should-

- This is costing way too much in the long run. If I felt like I was getting my moneys worth, it would be one thing. I strongly feel that if I were to drop out I could get the education I desire for cheaper.

- It doesn't feel right.

- I strongly believe in being stubborn about pursuing my goal even if it seems unrealistic. How else am I going to achieve it?

- Better to drop out earlier rather than later; I would like to make my decision before the end of the first semester.

--------------------

I would love to hear peoples insight on this.

[Taikin]

Do you have an alternative plan for life outside university which is just as detailed and structured? If so, does that plan seem realistically more enjoyable? How does the plan compare to sticking it out at uni in the long run?

I'm not suggesting you come up with an air-tight plan, because plans never quite work out anyway - it's just an exercise in how clearly you can think of life outside university. Would quitting uni be an escape or the start of a different course in life? It shouldn't feel like the former.

The most compelling reason to stay in the system (in this case university) is that it's safe and comfortable and actually affords you a lot of freedom for you to find what your values and passion are for sure. People talk about finding themselves at university, and I believe that's very much because students have enough time and experiences on offer to get clarity. Eight hour a day jobs don't reall offer the opportunity to same extent.

I'm at university doing English and Japanese (with an emphasis on Anthropology) and neither is quite what I expected. English Literature is actually pretty boring for me in that the modules take the study of literature pretty much beyond the scope of reality. Japanese in the classroom is very dull (I'm used to teaching myself) and social anthropology strikes me as a bit meaningless.

I'm still here though because the study is pretty easy and it still offers me a lot of freedom - more than a job would. I have plenty of time to find myself and to learn more about what my passions and what my values are in life.
At 20 I'm aware there's still plenty of experimentation and growth left to do, especially given the very stable consistent suburban childhood I had. And if I'm still here at the end then at the end of the degree then, hey, I'll have a really good qualification to work with from there out.

It sounds like I'm pushing a very mediocre timid approach to life, but, having had similar thoughts about uni myself in the first year, I think my decision to make good use of all this university free time was a good choice. Next year I may have found my calling, and it may be quite different to what I always thought it was. In your early twenties you have to allow for change - and university is probably the best place for that.

[rosegold]

What you can do is get a bag boy job in which you can think of important things to you instead of solving dumb problems in college, the effort of which produces no productive work. If your parents don't let you live with them, then don't use electricity in your apartment and use food sparingly so that you'll have enough money to pay the bills.