Who's in the same boat? I need advice...

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out? Who wants to get off the treadmill already and explore the wide open world out there?

I'm just frustrated. I know that everything that's going on right now is because of choices I've made. I said in another thread that I'm not really scared of anything and I really thought that was true. But if it is, why would I run back to the relative safety of a job rather than pursue something I could be proud of? Probably just because I don't really know what I want to do and so there's no passion. No fire that stops me from worrying how I'm going to pay my bills. I like paying my bills, hate being late, hate having to borrow money.

I don't aspire to be a millionair except for the ability to help others. For myself, I want a comfortable life doing something I love and can be proud of. I know it's not as hard as I'm making it, but I'm still stopped for some reason.

Figuring this out and really making leaps and bounds in my health/wellness are the big priorities I want to focus on as I head into the coming year. I'm not content with another year of status quo. Who's with me and what are we going to do about it?!

[ns123]

aspiring,

I personally like taking baby steps. Beginning with just one drop of water, adding to it little by little, and in the just right amount of time, it will become a beautiful waterfall.

My own personal preference for change is change little by little. And then, over time, with practice, it gets easier and easier to take the larger steps, and if I add to it every once in a while, eventually, I will be living the path I purposely choose.

For example, right now, I work in high tech. I make lots of money. What I really aspire to is to work with children, doing what, I haven't quite figured out. So, how do I take baby steps to turn toward what I want?

I spend more time around children. I volunteer at places where there are children. I watch, I learn, I surround myself with people who work with children and teachers I want to be like. I read a lot about childhood development and education.

I have been blessed to have a job where my hours are flexible, and I work as much as I want and get paid accordingly. I spend way less than what I earn, so that I can pay off my house and really live debt free. After that, I save save save. So that, when I am ready to quit my job and fully concentrate living my purpose, I know how many months/years I can experiment to give it a go. And then I sit back and watch things unfold.

Life is a journey. And you don't have to make huge long jumps on that path. You can take little baby steps...you can walk slowly.

I still work in technology. Does that mean I'm not living my purpose? No, it just means, I'm slowly but surely turning towards living my purpose. I am slowly but surely walking that path.

Life does not always have to be drastic plunges, all or nothing kind of decisions. We can ebb and flow too.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Thanks, ns. That's really actually very comforting. I know that whatever change I want to make will be a drastic one from the way I'm currently living. I guess it's overwhelming to think of doing it all in one fell swoop. Maybe a good idea would be to get an idea of what my purpose is and then figure out some small steps I can take.

The hardest part seems to be figuring out my purpose in the first place. I know it's a topic that's been done here before...even by me! But I still haven't found it!

[bbdream8]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out? Who wants to get off the treadmill already and explore the wide open world out there?

I'm just frustrated. I know that everything that's going on right now is because of choices I've made. I said in another thread that I'm not really scared of anything and I really thought that was true. But if it is, why would I run back to the relative safety of a job rather than pursue something I could be proud of? Probably just because I don't really know what I want to do and so there's no passion. No fire that stops me from worrying how I'm going to pay my bills. I like paying my bills, hate being late, hate having to borrow money.

I don't aspire to be a millionair except for the ability to help others. For myself, I want a comfortable life doing something I love and can be proud of. I know it's not as hard as I'm making it, but I'm still stopped for some reason.

Figuring this out and really making leaps and bounds in my health/wellness are the big priorities I want to focus on as I head into the coming year. I'm not content with another year of status quo. Who's with me and what are we going to do about it?!

Keep going man. You may be back to a job but you can start something on the side line and once the income of the side line is big enough for you, than you consider whether to quit your job. Just take one step at a time and you will be fine.

Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger

[Elfwing]

I don't know my purpose either. I've gotten incredibly close before, but I still don't know either, so you're not alone there.

Just because you "ran back" doesn't mean you're scared. It's a safety mechanism to return to the familiar. Just something you'll have to train. *Hugs*

[Angela]

Hey, Asp, did you ever do the Passion Test?

[Rose of Cairo]

I recommend Life on Purpose by Brad Swift

I can understand you Aspiring... I'm not sure yet either, and yes it's so frustrating.

I've also heard this book is great, but I haven't read it.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by bbdream8

Keep going man. You may be back to a job but you can start something on the side line and once the income of the side line is big enough for you, than you consider whether to quit your job. Just take one step at a time and you will be fine.

That's kinda what I have decided to do. The only hard part is figuring out what I want to do on the side .

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Elfwing

I don't know my purpose either. I've gotten incredibly close before, but I still don't know either, so you're not alone there.

Just because you "ran back" doesn't mean you're scared. It's a safety mechanism to return to the familiar. Just something you'll have to train. *Hugs*

Yeah, if I knew what is was I was working toward, I wouldn't have any problem doing what it takes to get there. I hope you find your purpose too!

Originally Posted by Angela

Hey, Asp, did you ever do the Passion Test?

Doh! Nope. It will be really hilarious if that solves all my "problems" since you've been telling me about it for p.i.g. knows how long! I commit to checking it out by the end of November. Will you please hold me to that?

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

I recommend Life on Purpose by Brad Swift

I can understand you Aspiring... I'm not sure yet either, and yes it's so frustrating.

I've also heard this book is great, but I haven't read it.

Argggghhhhh. It is so frustrating. I think you and I are similar in many ways. In how strongly we feel things and in how we are into many different things and don't like to be pinned to one for too long. I will also take a look at those books. Thank you!

I really do think that the first order of business is to find that pesky purpose.

[CroMagna]

ATC, I'm in the same boat. I have no passion or life purpose. I formulated two life purposes: 1) to win 2) to conquer man. I think they're both pretty good. I'm not sure how to combine them: to win by conquering man or to conquer man by winning? The first one sounds totally unrealistic and the second one seems like sort of a cop-out. So you could say that we're in the same boat.

Congrats on finding a job! I'm still hunting for something to pay the bills until I can figure out what I enjoy doing. I think it's a great idea to get a source of income while deciding on your passions. That's not a cop-out.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I'm glad you checked in CroMagna. I'm going to try to update here on what I'm doing and what I learn as I go. So, if you want to hang around too and share that would be cool.

I started by checking out the Passion Test website. And I'm now going to see if my library has that and the books that Rose (darling) recommended.

I'm interested in how you came up with your life purposes and what you feel you will have once you've accomplished them.

Good luck on getting a job in the meantime.

[ns123]

aspiring,

Just a suggestion, because this really was the case with me.

Look around your life, think about your entire life, was there a common thread somewhere? It could be that you've been shown what your purpose was but just chose to ignore it or thought it was nothing all along.

When I discovered my purpose, I was like... oooooh! Man, I always CHOSE this, always trended toward it, but I never thought it was my purpose! What a dolt I am! For me, my purpose was woven into my life at numerous points, I always chose activities relating to my purpose, but I thought it was just a hobby, a quirk of mine... until I discovered um... that was my purpose all along! I felt like kicking myself.

So a question you could ask yourself is, what is it that I have always chosen to do, that feels good to me, that makes me proud of me as a human being, and I keep choosing over and over? Sometimes, our purpose is right in front of our eyes. But we don't see it because we don't allow ourselves to.

It could be a hobby. It could be an activity or your reading preferences, or whatever. That was the way it was with me. Maybe it might be the same with you?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Great advice, ns. I am going to think about that. Right now, I don't know what it would be.

I wonder if you would tell me your purpose and what hints you had, times you had indirectly (maybe?) chosen it without thinking of it as your purpose.

[ns123]

sure, I'll send it to you in an PM.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out?

I've done that twice in the past; the first time, I fell flat and ended up back in a normal job. The second time, I found a way to be self-employed, but did not love it.

For what it's worth, I didn't figure out what my true purpose was until very recently (and I'm 41). I always knew that it would have something to do with my fine arts background, and that it might involve writing, but the exact form it would take didn't click into place until recently.

The best I can tell you is that the things you are doing right now and the experiences you are having will turn out to be valuable once you do discover your purpose. Maybe you are gaining skills that will help you. Maybe you are gaining a deeper understanding of others' situations through your own struggles. I used to think that some things I did were really just a waste of time; but looking back, I can see how they were not.

You took the big leap of quitting your job once. Never mind that you're back at another job for right now; that was a very brave thing to do. Most people would never take that kind of risk. And that you did it once tells me that when the time is right, you'll be able to do it again.

I said in another thread that I'm not really scared of anything and I really thought that was true. But if it is, why would I run back to the relative safety of a job rather than pursue something I could be proud of?

Because maybe, for right now, that's where you need to be? And there's a lot of reasons why that may be true. Maybe something connected to this job will help you discover your passion. Maybe you'll meet somebody, or hear about something through this job that will do it. I honestly don't know. Or maybe it has nothing to do with that specific job, but you just need that position of "safety" to work on other things in your life.

Figuring this out and really making leaps and bounds in my health/wellness are the big priorities I want to focus on as I head into the coming year.

Even if you feel "stuck" as far as finding your passion goes you can still make huge gains in meeting your health and wellness goals. And who knows? Maybe in doing that, you'll find your passion. Or maybe, by strengthening your body and creating better habits, you'll be physically better-prepared to handle the next big change in your life.

You'll get there. And as ns123 has pointed out, maybe your purpose is right in front of you, something you've loved all along that doesn't seem "important" enough to be your real life purpose (that's what happened to me). Maybe it's something that made you incredibly happy as a kid, but you were discouraged from doing it and you eventually lost touch with that joy.

And keep in mind that your purpose doesn't have to be "big" in scope; it could be something that you love doing for its own sake, that isn't directly involved in "helping" people, but does so anyway. On the surface, it might look very humble, and you'll find yourself saying, "That's it?" Even if you do specifically want to help other people, don't get caught in the trap that your purpose has to be all about that--when you find your purpose and live it, you will help people, knowingly or not.

[Dev]

I am in the same boat as {aspring to clarity} and I sense somewhere that my purpose is very similar to ns. Only difference is I am not as lucky as ns on the job front(in terms of money & satisfaction).
I completely agree with ns' idea of baby steps. To take this discussion further, I would like to quote what Steve said about himself in his book on Page 13 of the Truth chapter.
Quote " One time when I was in a state of very high awareness, I made the decision to switch careers...."Unquote.
Do you smell the coffee here...
What I understood & implementing in my life is to to gradually get to that state of awareness and then give a hard thought to my actual purpose. I have already stared taking action in my 'Physical' area by enrolling in the gym to get myself fit & achieve clarity in my thinking. I believe this 'small' step will take me to that state of awareness.
Currently I am thinking about similar action in other areas of my life which will help take me to that state of awareness.
Hope this helps.

[jawillie]

Same boat here, too.

I will be checking out the resources posted here.

There are times I am screaming on the inside: "Show me my way!!!!" But, I think I do so while I guard my eyes... not really wanting to see the answer because it would mean a total upheaval of all that I know. ??? Or not.... but I think a lot of the time I just feel I took a left when my soul was begging me to take that right. Now I am wondering if there is a bridge to get me back on track? Or maybe a shortcut through the woods? Or maybe the two roads could just MERGE to one, meaning I AM right on track? hmm...........

Yah, I am no help to others as I am in "needy mode"... just sayin' I understand.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by jawillie

Yah, I am no help to others as I am in "needy mode"... just sayin' I understand.

WILL YOU STOP BELITTLING YOUR CONTRIBUTION!!!

Maybe you're feeling needy and useless, but I don't care how you feel! When I read your posts, they always help me, inspire me, and make me feel happy and loving towards you! So your contribution IS valuable no matter how you little thing think about it!

Erm... *cough* Don't mind me, I'm on coffee...

[Dev]

Don't get so mad Rose. BTW, is this the effect of your Banana trial

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out? Who wants to get off the treadmill already and explore the wide open world out there?

I have given up my career as a Financial planner after 11 years and went back to Uni to become a teacher.
This involves a 75% pay cut.
Who cares? Not me. I refuse to do 'jobs' that I don't want to.

[funchy]

People who keep looking for happiness and purpose from the outside world miss that it is within them all along.

Stop changing jobs. Change how you see the job you have now. Change how you see your place in the world.

[Poiesis Hagakure]

aspiring to clarity,
kudos, kudos, kudos. and buena suerte, good luck! I really respect you for a lot of reasons. The desire to discover your purpose shows you have already developed a good sense of awareness. I'll state my purpose in this post clearly and not beat around the bush ---- TAKE PLEASURE IN THE SMALL THINGS. please please do not belittle or disrespect that awareness. If you know there must be changes made in your life now, be grateful you are aware of this and it was not a bitter seed allowed to develop further. whether you can enumerate your purpose now, or you will enumerate it later ... it is dangerous to let this be a bitter seed. do not be impatient, but be happy that you are on the path.

That you are capable of searching for that purpose is enough. There are differing beliefs towards this but, .... I believe you've hit the highest level one can, by being aware of purpose. Many say you need to FIND your purpose, you need to be able to enumerate it and give it words and definition. I believe in the journey [and that we each can have more than one purpose!]. I believe that we can only sense our purpose here and now and that, while times and places change, our purpose will change even if so slightly. purpose might not be a static thing, but vibrant and changing. Have [as you already do, if you know that you need change] a sense of what the purpose is now, and be open to it and aware of it as differing times, people, and places unfold in the future.

I really appreciate what NS123 said. Pragmatism in dealing with your sense of purpose, and pragmatism in dealing with the relative stability of life. Of what I sense from Aspiring to Clarity's first post, it seems drastic change is necessary. It reminds me of 'punctuated equilibrium,' the bio theory, as well as a quote from the Hagakure [Samurai ethics] paraphrased: When the water level rises, so does the ship. i.e. When being tested focus not on the act of testing! If your purpose is being challenged, your purpose will naturally rise to the occasion... and you might be surprised at how naturally.

You are aware that there needs to be change. You are aware that one can have a purpose to their life. As long as you go about effecting change with an open heart and mind, and allowing yourself to make mistakes, your purpose[s] will naturally unfold to you in time... and as ns123 pointed out, you'll probably be surprised at how close you purpose[s] have been to you all along.

bol cans, bonne chance! namaste & happy journeys

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I'm glad you checked in CroMagna. I'm going to try to update here on what I'm doing and what I learn as I go. So, if you want to hang around too and share that would be cool.

I started by checking out the Passion Test website. And I'm now going to see if my library has that and the books that Rose (darling) recommended.

I'm interested in how you came up with your life purposes and what you feel you will have once you've accomplished them.

Good luck on getting a job in the meantime.

Hi ATC. I am not job hunting now because I'm relocating to Memphis the Monday after Thanksgiving per everyone's advice and my own personal inclinations. I'm very excited about this new chapter in my life.

Again, congratulations on finding a job!

My life purposes came from my worldview. Do you have a religion? If not, why not? What is your worldview? I think if you know what your religion or philosophy or worldview says, and this is truly a reflection of your core self and experiences, then it will become more clear what your life purpose is. Once I've narrowed it down, I feel I will triumph and attain deep bliss through my life purpose. A life purpose is not a GOAL it is a WAY OF LIVING EACH DAY.

I think it's important to realize that we have a choice. We don't have to feel "compelled" to choose a certain life purpose. There IS no life purpose, so whatever we truly feel we WANT our life purpose to be, is our life purpose. You may not cry over it, but it should feel deeply inspiring.

[DAveNJ]

I am in the same boat too. I did start Steve's "What is my true purpose in life" exercise and I am now on day 23 with over 600+ entries. I made it into a 30-day trial where I sit, think and type every morning. I have not found anything yet that moves me on my list but I have received some really interesting things to write down.

I work in the defense industry and while I am grateful to have a good paying job with benefits now, it does not seem right that the military industrial conglomerate continues to fund huge wasteful programs while schools, children, food, communities and education goes lacking. I keep thinking, "we don't need all this war stuff"! Enough! In the logo it includes the word "Lethal". This means to cause death and destruction. Why am I working at a company whose objective is to profit from war and contribute to divisiveness, death and destruction? Yet I am too chicken right now to leave because I don't have anything else to go too. I am stuck in fear and work for money and benefits only. One thing I do know is that is not my life purpose. I am glad I just recently awoke to this realization.

I would recommend doing Steve's exercise as I mentioned above. Search for it in his new book or on the site.

good luck,
Dave

[Lauxa]

I liked what Tolle said about life purpose -- whatever you are doing right now, that is your purpose right now. If you are walking across the room to pick up a book, while you are walking your purpose is to walk and while you are picking up the book that is your purpose, and so on. So to those sitting at keyboard, check your posture and put a smile on your face and live your purpose now.

I don't know my "life purpose" but I do know I like web application development and I am now working a job that will help me develop more skills in that area and loving it. I also love education and I think my highest contribution right now is to write web-based childrens educational software. I love that I can write it for my own kids and share with the whole world.

I am curious, why can't you be proud of your job? What kind of job would you be proud of? What stops you from loving your job?

[The Cloud]

I am way with you. Right now what I'm doing is a test in limiting distractions. I had a funny thought last night; "My life is a distraction." I think that most of the things I do are to avoid figuring out what it is that I really need to be. Things I use to escape figuring this out include almost anything I do on my computer (Like this. Whoops.), reading, eating, and sleeping.

I'm trying to go for three days without sleep, since sleep is a huge 8-hour escape for me. I figure that by the second or third day I will be sick of all my other distractions and will thus be forced to confront whatever reality it is that I am avoiding. I'm already sick of reading, the internet can only provide so many updates to distract me before I become bored to tears, and I don't have enough food to distract me for more than three hours a day at most.

As an added bonus, people supposedly start to hallucinate after 72 hours without sleep as their body tries to force REM (when dreams occur). So even if this is a PD bust, it should be interesting.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out? Who wants to get off the treadmill already and explore the wide open world out there?

I'm not in exactly the same boat, but I'm in a similar boat. I'm in grad school right now, and I'm loving the student lifestyle. However, while I'm not disliking my classes, and while I'm getting good grades, I'm not loving my classes, nor enthralled in its subject matter. In a way this is like a job because I'm getting student loans to live and pay bills. I've been thinking about whether to continue going to school next semester. I realized today I really needed to think intelligently through this.

I don't aspire to be a millionair except for the ability to help others. For myself, I want a comfortable life doing something I love and can be proud of. I know it's not as hard as I'm making it, but I'm still stopped for some reason.

Same here.

Who's with me and what are we going to do about it?!

I like your call to action

[garentee]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

How many of you still don't know what your purpose is? How many took the step and quit your job only to end up back on the daily grind when your savings ran out? Who wants to get off the treadmill already and explore the wide open world out there?

I'm just frustrated. I know that everything that's going on right now is because of choices I've made. I said in another thread that I'm not really scared of anything and I really thought that was true. But if it is, why would I run back to the relative safety of a job rather than pursue something I could be proud of? Probably just because I don't really know what I want to do and so there's no passion. No fire that stops me from worrying how I'm going to pay my bills. I like paying my bills, hate being late, hate having to borrow money.

I don't aspire to be a millionair except for the ability to help others. For myself, I want a comfortable life doing something I love and can be proud of. I know it's not as hard as I'm making it, but I'm still stopped for some reason.

Figuring this out and really making leaps and bounds in my health/wellness are the big priorities I want to focus on as I head into the coming year. I'm not content with another year of status quo. Who's with me and what are we going to do about it?!

I can only add one small bit of advice: If what you are doing is not working go try something else.... Anything else. Hope this helps.G

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Woah. Thanks for all the replies. I was so busy around the house this weekend that I didn't really get to the computer. I've read them all just now, but I want to make a more thoughtful reply when I have some more time. Keep all the great advice coming. Hopefully this thread can end up helping more than just me. So far just having the discussion and encouragement has made a big difference.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by ns123

sure, I'll send it to you in an PM.

Thank you very much. It was quite helpful and I'm sure will continue to be.