Who's in the same boat? I need advice...

[MonergyTheBook]

I think it's great that you don't want to settle for the status quo in your life and you want to take steps to further your passion.

It's not easy to realize even this, so congratulations. This puts you ahead of many people who are content with the status quo, and even if unhappy, somehow manage to stay with it.

So by all means, follow your heart and take the steps you need to make your dreams come true. A word of advice: patience. Easy to say and not so easy to implement in life's daily challenges.

I have another comment on what you said: It is that you may not always be able to be comfortable when you are making big changes in your life. In fact, one way to facilitate these changes is to take yourself out of what I call in my book "Monergy" the "comfort zone." There is a lot to be learned from being "uncomfortable" in life, although most of us don't volunteer for that status; it just comes upon us.

Some final comments: be aware, be sincere and don't give up pursuing what you really want!

[Honeywith4bees]

I've been following along with your post and thinking about it Clarity and I have a few thoughts for you.

Firstly I'd like to say that my feeling from you is that you are a very caring person who enjoys making others feel comfortable and cared for. I think you enjoy order and find comfort in the stability of knowing what needs to be done. I think that you are a very feeling person that could get overwhelmed in a job that is too depressing. I think that you enjoy being physically active rather than sitting all day and that you like to feel needed.

So, if I have that right, then have you considered becoming a Nurse? A Nurses Aid in a Nursing home? An activities coordinator in a Nursing Home? Working in an afterschool program like Citizen's School? Working with immigrants in your area? Doing administrative work in a local law office that advocates for refugees? Taking care of children in homeless or battered women's shelters? Become a Special Aid Teacher? Become a Reading Teacher? Social Worker?

I like the idea of doing volunteer work for someplace to see if its inspiring with the idea that you could train as you volunteer. I bet lots of organizations would be open to that.

Just something to think about . . .

Good luck!

[CroMagna]

DAveNJ, check your inbox.

[Lauxa]

It's monotonous and boring mainly. I'm a paper pusher. I have seen people who love this admin work and that is so great. I just don't feel that way. I can be proud that I do a good job, but actually I don't do as well I don't think as if I were excited and motivated about my work. I know that is partially about my attitude and I can work on that, but the thought of doing only this until I die makes me want to die a whole lot sooner!

To be proud of my job it would be something I like to do and therefore perform exceptionally well. It would be helpful/meaningful to others. It wouldn't involve so much filing and cold-calling and drudgery (it's not a bad or hard job, but yet I'm miserable at it.

Just because you like your job doesn't guarantee that you will do exceptionally well at it... in fact, for me the challenge and excitement of trying to master something I'm not particularly good at (yet) is a major draw. By the time I am "exceptionally good" at something, it's time to stretch for the next challenge.

Your job is helpful/meaningful to others, else others wouldn't pay you for your work. But maybe you are not aligned with the goals of the "others" you are helping?

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your job, what are your favorite parts, what do you enjoy about your job that you would like to see more of?

I found this news article this morning and thought of you.
Ethical Corporation: Essay - Change agents – Happiness is about making things better

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I made it the full 72 hours!

That's amazing! I think I've made it 36 hours before and almost went crazy!

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I did write some funny stuff in my journal on the second night that I don't remember writing:

"Do you need more than the soul and some confidence to turn mayhem into terror, anyways? The bodies will feed each other, in the chain configuration."

We need to find someone to interpret it!

Originally Posted by The Cloud

I've decided to move on to trying polyphasic sleeping. I figure that I'm in the primed and ready state for it, and I've wanted to do it since the summer before the last. This way I don't waste all that sleep debt I've accrued , I put it to work to teach myself to fall asleep quickly. Steve went on and on about the mental clarity he gained when he was doing polyphasic sleeping, and if nothing else it will limit the amount of time I can spend sleeping in a day. I figure it's the next natural step in my efforts to figure out whatever it is that I can't seem to figure out.

That sounds cool. Maybe you could start a thread detailing your experience for posterity. I know Steve already did it, but I'm sure everyone has a different experience.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

Firstly I'd like to say that my feeling from you is that you are a very caring person who enjoys making others feel comfortable and cared for. I think you enjoy order and find comfort in the stability of knowing what needs to be done. I think that you are a very feeling person that could get overwhelmed in a job that is too depressing. I think that you enjoy being physically active rather than sitting all day and that you like to feel needed.

Yes, yep, correct, right, uh-huh. All quite true.

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

So, if I have that right, then have you considered becoming a Nurse? A Nurses Aid in a Nursing home? An activities coordinator in a Nursing Home? Working in an afterschool program like Citizen's School? Working with immigrants in your area? Doing administrative work in a local law office that advocates for refugees? Taking care of children in homeless or battered women's shelters? Become a Special Aid Teacher? Become a Reading Teacher? Social Worker?

I have recently thought about becoming a nurse, preferable working with kids, maybe OB. Some of the other suggestions sound intriguing too. I think being a social worker would be too depressing. I used to think I'd never want to be a teacher, but I'm giving that more thought. I think I'd really enjoy working with battered women or helping low income women with job skills or I don't know really, something along those lines.

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

I like the idea of doing volunteer work for someplace to see if its inspiring with the idea that you could train as you volunteer. I bet lots of organizations would be open to that.

That's a good idea. I will check out volunteer match and see what's open in my area. Thanks dear!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Just because you like your job doesn't guarantee that you will do exceptionally well at it... in fact, for me the challenge and excitement of trying to master something I'm not particularly good at (yet) is a major draw. By the time I am "exceptionally good" at something, it's time to stretch for the next challenge.

Your job is helpful/meaningful to others, else others wouldn't pay you for your work. But maybe you are not aligned with the goals of the "others" you are helping?

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your job, what are your favorite parts, what do you enjoy about your job that you would like to see more of?

I found this news article this morning and thought of you.
Ethical Corporation: Essay - Change agents – Happiness is about making things better

I am going to read the article at home where I can focus more.

I think that it's true I'm not aligned with the goals of the business. I'm not passionate about the product or the mundane details. I do like that I'm trusted and given responsibility. I like that I'm not micromanaged (although I would like a bit more direction sometimes).

I think that similar to you, part of the reason I don't like this job is because it doesn't challenge me. Or maybe just not in the ways I want to be challenged? I'll have to think more on that. But I will read the article and then come back with my thoughts.

Thank you.

[smartile]

Originally posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}
Very well put. I understand now Thank you my "swift kick in the rear-er"

Someone had to do it

[babuji]

Wow.. ATC.. after reading your first post, I could swear that I'd probably write the same post in a month or two..

I initially left my well-paying, unsatisfying job, almost 18 months ago and jumped right into what I thought would lead me to my purpose...

18 months later, I'm strongly considering starting up a job again, primarily b/c I'm running out of my health insurance coverage and the financial rewards just aren't there.

Nevertheless, I do think that all the experiences we have are meant to push, shove, pull, nudge, and inch us closer to our primary purpose for this life. I still think that I have a big lesson that I need to learn in order to move forward(almost like graduating from HS to College).

The best advice is to just think up of all the things that make you happy or that you enjoy doing..
For example:
- Working with your hands
- Writing
- Working with children
- Teaching
- Research
- Bringing people together..
- Public Speaking
- etc..

And then try thinking up of professions or jobs that will help you accomplish the things that most resonate with you. Sometimes we have to create a job or a function if it doesn't exist. I mean nobody could have predicted that they wanted to become a blogger 15 years ago...

Just find your medium (a means to live your purpose), and work at it. Even if it means doing it on a part time basis at first.

Also, a little faith in this entire process helps as well..

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

That's amazing! I think I've made it 36 hours before and almost went crazy!

If you ever do it, it is the second night that is a doozie. I had quite a few microsleep incidents where my thoughts would bleed into dreams when I blinked, which would startle my eyes open. I was worried that maybe I was falling asleep during these times since it was often impossible for me to tell how long I had been out, but every time I checked the clock virtually no time had passed. These microsleep episodes also made it impossible to tell how much time was passing, so that second night is a hazy mess of half-memories.

Another thing I noticed was that days stretched out forever. Those few hours of sleep make a huge difference in how long a day seems. It was rather unfortunate, since I wanted time to pass more quickly than normal, not less. But it's also rather surreal to realize at the end of the time that you did not sleep at all for three days.

If you ever want to try for more than 36 hours, here's a few tips. Rule number one is to never ever...EVER sit on a couch, bed, or other sleepable surface. The less supportive the chair you use, the better. If you can find a one-legged stool like the ones used by nitroglycerin manufacturers back in the old days, you'll be set. If all you have available are stable sitting surfaces, you may have to spend a portion of the night standing up (I lost count of the hours I spent on my feet avoiding falling asleep in my chair. I did this when I didn't want to be playing games, since I was after all trying to have a spiritually awakening experience). Also, find an mildly engaging activity. A puzzle or a simple video game will work. Movies might help too, if you're not the type to fall asleep during one (I never do, so movies were indispensable). I spent a lot of time on one of those bubble-shooter flash games. Simple enough to not require any thinking, but complex enough to require you to be awake. Never reading a book. A book will pacify you faster than a handful of Valium. Ditto that for anything you consider boring or repetitive. This is not the time to be doing your taxes.

I don't know if I recommend doing this. On the one hand, nothing significant happened. But on the other hand, I'm really glad I did it. It showed me how much sleep affects my perception of time. It also showed me how to, not ignore, but dismiss tiredness. I had to be able to say "no" to sleep, which leads me to wonder what else I can say no to...

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

We need to find someone to interpret it!

I have a feeling that this is one mystery that will remain forever unsolved. Although, if it is gibberish it is highly coherent gibberish. I didn't do any editing at all, I'm surprised that I spelled all the words correctly and kept any semblance of sentence structure.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

That's great! How did you figure out you wanted to teach? Was the desire there all along? I don't really worry about the money, other than having enough to pay my meager bills. I'm not of extravagant tastes . I just want enough to live on...the happiness from not hating the job I do every day will probably more than make up for any lack of funds!

I just felt the urge to give something positive to our younger generation. I also have a lot of life experiences under my belt from different careers which I thought I could integrate into my teaching.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by babuji

Wow.. ATC.. after reading your first post, I could swear that I'd probably write the same post in a month or two..

I initially left my well-paying, unsatisfying job, almost 18 months ago and jumped right into what I thought would lead me to my purpose...

18 months later, I'm strongly considering starting up a job again, primarily b/c I'm running out of my health insurance coverage and the financial rewards just aren't there.

Nevertheless, I do think that all the experiences we have are meant to push, shove, pull, nudge, and inch us closer to our primary purpose for this life. I still think that I have a big lesson that I need to learn in order to move forward(almost like graduating from HS to College).

The best advice is to just think up of all the things that make you happy or that you enjoy doing..
For example:
- Working with your hands
- Writing
- Working with children
- Teaching
- Research
- Bringing people together..
- Public Speaking
- etc..

And then try thinking up of professions or jobs that will help you accomplish the things that most resonate with you. Sometimes we have to create a job or a function if it doesn't exist. I mean nobody could have predicted that they wanted to become a blogger 15 years ago...

Just find your medium (a means to live your purpose), and work at it. Even if it means doing it on a part time basis at first.

Also, a little faith in this entire process helps as well..

Thanks so much. It's a real encouragement just having everyone offer their advice and energy. I do hope that you figure out your situation as well! I don't want you to have to write this post!!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

If you ever do it, it is the second night that is a doozie. I had quite a few microsleep incidents where my thoughts would bleed into dreams when I blinked, which would startle my eyes open. I was worried that maybe I was falling asleep during these times since it was often impossible for me to tell how long I had been out, but every time I checked the clock virtually no time had passed. These microsleep episodes also made it impossible to tell how much time was passing, so that second night is a hazy mess of half-memories.

Another thing I noticed was that days stretched out forever. Those few hours of sleep make a huge difference in how long a day seems. It was rather unfortunate, since I wanted time to pass more quickly than normal, not less. But it's also rather surreal to realize at the end of the time that you did not sleep at all for three days.

If you ever want to try for more than 36 hours, here's a few tips. Rule number one is to never ever...EVER sit on a couch, bed, or other sleepable surface. The less supportive the chair you use, the better. If you can find a one-legged stool like the ones used by nitroglycerin manufacturers back in the old days, you'll be set. If all you have available are stable sitting surfaces, you may have to spend a portion of the night standing up (I lost count of the hours I spent on my feet avoiding falling asleep in my chair. I did this when I didn't want to be playing games, since I was after all trying to have a spiritually awakening experience). Also, find an mildly engaging activity. A puzzle or a simple video game will work. Movies might help too, if you're not the type to fall asleep during one (I never do, so movies were indispensable). I spent a lot of time on one of those bubble-shooter flash games. Simple enough to not require any thinking, but complex enough to require you to be awake. Never reading a book. A book will pacify you faster than a handful of Valium. Ditto that for anything you consider boring or repetitive. This is not the time to be doing your taxes.

I don't know if I recommend doing this. On the one hand, nothing significant happened. But on the other hand, I'm really glad I did it. It showed me how much sleep affects my perception of time. It also showed me how to, not ignore, but dismiss tiredness. I had to be able to say "no" to sleep, which leads me to wonder what else I can say no to...

It does sound surreal! I don't know if I'd even want to try it because I love sleep so. But I think that regardless of whether you get the effect you want from such an experiment, it's always nice to know that you can decide to do something and follow through. Good job! If you can resist that biological need pulling you, then you can say no to anything, especially the mental crap.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Stephen

I just felt the urge to give something positive to our younger generation. I also have a lot of life experiences under my belt from different careers which I thought I could integrate into my teaching.

Very cool. It's always nice to have teachers who want to give something positive and really share what they've been through in life. Always my favorite.

[CroMagna]

Any progress?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I'm feeling a little better, just by virtue of trying a change in attitude. I am hoping to get some time this weekend to delve into a lot of the material suggested here. This week has just been horrible as far as free time...as in I've had none.

I have had a few sparks of inspiration. A couple of ideas I would like to work on. It's not my purpose I don't think, but something more of a hobby to keep me feeling like I have more going on than work. A creative outlet to get that part of me alive again.

How are you??

[Honeywith4bees]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

A creative outlet to get that part of me alive again.

Hey Clarity!

I am working on the same angle (and have been since the first of the year). Even though I am not entirely thrilled with my vocation, which is Administrative Assisting, I do love being able to financially support myself and my kids. So while I don't always feel creatively fulfilled at work, I try to do something to satiate the artist in me everyday. One of these days I'll get some pictures on line of the quilts I make. When I don't have the time to sew, I can usually feel like I've satisfied my creative urges by something simpler like baking some awesome dessert or journaling.

Take care!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

Hey Clarity!

I am working on the same angle (and have been since the first of the year). Even though I am not entirely thrilled with my vocation, which is Administrative Assisting, I do love being able to financially support myself and my kids. So while I don't always feel creatively fulfilled at work, I try to do something to satiate the artist in me everyday. One of these days I'll get some pictures on line of the quilts I make. When I don't have the time to sew, I can usually feel like I've satisfied my creative urges by something simpler like baking some awesome dessert or journaling.

Take care!

I'm an admin assistant too! Drag.

I think that quilting would be really fun. I bet you could sell those babies too if you wanted. I would love to see pictures!! In fact, I have kidnda a thing for quilts. Maybe I could commission one from you? I have a mass produced Bed, Bath and Beyond one on my bed right now...

[Angela]

Hello, potatoes!!!

Working as an administrative assistant is providing value in exchange for money, doing something that you're really effective at: generating flow. Flow of information, ease, money, communication, introduction, freedom, peace, and even love. Someone hired you to do it because their ability to generate flow is limited; they have been living with a knot in their hose and you are being paid for your special genius making things work smoothly. Not everyone has that genius; in fact I thing most people do not. Of course you could be working at this or any other job without generating an inspiring possibility while you're doing it. But that would be YOU, it wouldn't be the profession.

Don't diss the assis.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I'm feeling a little better, just by virtue of trying a change in attitude. I am hoping to get some time this weekend to delve into a lot of the material suggested here. This week has just been horrible as far as free time...as in I've had none.

I have had a few sparks of inspiration. A couple of ideas I would like to work on. It's not my purpose I don't think, but something more of a hobby to keep me feeling like I have more going on than work. A creative outlet to get that part of me alive again.

How are you??

I'm feeling very excited about moving to Memphis. I've finally set the decision in stone. I'm also exciting about embarking on my weight loss journey, which I started yesterday.

Read philosophy. Read up on religions. Read up on science. Reading can never hurt. Keep me posted.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Angela

Hello, potatoes!!!

Working as an administrative assistant is providing value in exchange for money, doing something that you're really effective at: generating flow. Flow of information, ease, money, communication, introduction, freedom, peace, and even love. Someone hired you to do it because their ability to generate flow is limited; they have been living with a knot in their hose and you are being paid for your special genius making things work smoothly. Not everyone has that genius; in fact I thing most people do not. Of course you could be working at this or any other job without generating an inspiring possibility while you're doing it. But that would be YOU, it wouldn't be the profession.

Don't diss the assis.

Yep, I don't always generate flow because I am so grumpy. I know it's me and my attitude (and maybe also a little bit that I'm the dumping ground for all the stuff no one else wants to do ).

I know there's nothing wrong with the profession of assistant...I just hate it .

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I'm feeling very excited about moving to Memphis. I've finally set the decision in stone. I'm also exciting about embarking on my weight loss journey, which I started yesterday.

Read philosophy. Read up on religions. Read up on science. Reading can never hurt. Keep me posted.

It sounds like we will both have some interesting changes coming up. You keep me posted too.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I know there's nothing wrong with the profession of assistant...I just hate it .

That's great -- what if I said to you, you know, Aspiring, there's nothing wrong with you, I just hate you! You would probably immediately wonder what's wrong with you that I could hate you, right? Or at least you'd think there was something wrong with ME! You wouldn't say to yourself, I don't think, "Gee, well, there's nothing wrong here; she just hates me, that's all. That's fine, everyone's entitled to her opinion."

What specifically do you hate?
By hating it, do you think you're making it stick to you?
What are you willing to let go of?
What are you willing to generate?

I think you'll find it has very little to do with the profession.

By the way, I LOVE you! THIS much! (please picture one of those schmaltzy little hearts with arms held out wide.)

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Angela

That's great -- what if I said to you, you know, Aspiring, there's nothing wrong with you, I just hate you! You would probably immediately wonder what's wrong with you that I could hate you, right? Or at least you'd think there was something wrong with ME! You wouldn't say to yourself, I don't think, "Gee, well, there's nothing wrong here; she just hates me, that's all. That's fine, everyone's entitled to her opinion."

With all the wonderful coaching I've received I may very well be able to say that!

Originally Posted by Angela

What specifically do you hate?

The monotony, cold calling, doing the jobs of several people, the fact that it's a new company without established ways of doing things which also makes more work for me. I have actually come to see how much better it was at the job I quit. I wish that if I had to keep working a job, I could go back there, but it's not possible.

Originally Posted by Angela

By hating it, do you think you're making it stick to you?

Probably so?

Originally Posted by Angela

What are you willing to let go of?

Grumbling and complaining.

Originally Posted by Angela

What are you willing to generate?

That's a little bit harder to figure out. I don't know, really. I am still resisting being there, being stuck somewhere I don't feel I really fit, knowing that there is something out there I could be doing that would light me up.

Originally Posted by Angela

I think you'll find it has very little to do with the profession.

True. The profession itself is just fine. It's just that I'm not suited in temperament or I'm just a whiner .

Originally Posted by Angela

By the way, I LOVE you! THIS much! (please picture one of those schmaltzy little hearts with arms held out wide.)

Me too!

[CroMagna]

Why not find a job as an admin in a field you're interested in?

[Revolution]

I am a human being, so I guess in that sense we are in the "same boat".

One thing I find interesting is that when people talk about their "purpose" they are often only referring to their "job".

... As if everyone has this divine purpose - that they were born to be a truck driver, a cleaner, an admin assistant, a lawyer, a doctor, an actuarian.(???)

... as though if your "job" is not all fun and cartwheels then you are somehow not fullfilling your purpose?

I believe as long as you are TRULY living your purpose then the rest will unfold as it should - including your vocation.

[Lauxa]

Hey there aspiring,

I think if you change your attitude you could find it's fun being in a place without established ways of doing things. You can bring in all your experiences from other places and help them get their systems set up and running smoothly. At least, I find that to be fun. I'm somewhat of a "process enthusiast" though. I also like documenting everything and writing training manuals for the person who will eventually replace me. Is that weird?

What do you mean by "doing the jobs of several people"? Do you mean that you get assignments from different people that you find difficult to prioritize, or that your workload forces you to put in more hours than you thought you were going to have to?

Also I think people who do cold calls are very BRAVE. It's not a skill that I have developed. I tried to do some political calls for the last election cycle and ultimately chickened out. Maybe if you could find some other way to apply this skill you are developing you would have more appreciation for it.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Why not find a job as an admin in a field you're interested in?

Well, that would be fine in the short term, but I just would prefer to do something else long term. Something more creative. Something that is centered around helping others.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Revolution

I believe as long as you are TRULY living your purpose then the rest will unfold as it should - including your vocation.

I think you're right. I was looking for that job that perfectly fit my purpose. Rather my purpose may be something like "help others in a spirit of compassion" and whatever job I do would be imbued with that.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Hey there aspiring,

I think if you change your attitude you could find it's fun being in a place without established ways of doing things. You can bring in all your experiences from other places and help them get their systems set up and running smoothly. At least, I find that to be fun. I'm somewhat of a "process enthusiast" though. I also like documenting everything and writing training manuals for the person who will eventually replace me. Is that weird? .

It's not weird, no. I just think that I have a different personality maybe? My mom is that way. She likes to create the processes and systems. I dislike the part of my job that involves documenting details and paperwork. I did like making training manuals with screen shots at a former job. I think I might actually like being a technical writer . But regardless of how much I dislike certain parts of the job, it's very true that an attitude change would have me seeing things very differently.

Originally Posted by Lauxa

What do you mean by "doing the jobs of several people"? Do you mean that you get assignments from different people that you find difficult to prioritize, or that your workload forces you to put in more hours than you thought you were going to have to?

Yeah, that wasn't really clear. I meant that where I work now I do the jobs that it took 4 or 5 people to do at my last job. It's difficult for me to keep everything current because I have a lot to do, some of which I don't feel qualified for. Stuff slips through the cracks and I feel bad that I've not been more thorough. Some of that could probably be rectified by me creating some type of system to follow. And other bits I'll learn as I go. I think all in all I just feel overwhelmed.

But I've started my physical plan to eat better and exercise. My boyfriend even got on board with me because he wants to lose a little weight too. I know that if I feel more energetic and not so fat and slovenly I'll have a better attitude as well. This is one point where my boss is cool. She's tiny and eats well and runs constantly so she's agreed to keep me accountable and even push me out the door to walk on my lunch break!

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Also I think people who do cold calls are very BRAVE. It's not a skill that I have developed. I tried to do some political calls for the last election cycle and ultimately chickened out. Maybe if you could find some other way to apply this skill you are developing you would have more appreciation for it.

Well, I'm not selling anything, so people aren't usually mean. I had a friend who worked at Wamu customer service who was called names and told she was stupid every day. I would bail on that asap! But I do think that learning to be comforatble talking to people on the phone who I don't know is one skill I'm gaining here. My confidence and ability to improvise has increased, but it still needs work...