Help needed on improving Inter-Personal skills

[Dev]

I have a unique problem. When I use written communication, words flow very easily. I can use difficult words, words usually not used in a normal conversation, proverbs & phrases, but when it comes to talking with someone, I find that I am unable to convey properly what is to be said. Words don't come easily & I usually fail to convince the opposite person. I can make out by the reaction of the other person. Sometimes I also breakout in a sweat(usually elder or more experienced persons). I feel bad about it. It seems my vocabulary is really bad that moment. When I take English or vocab tests I get a very good scoring.
Where am I going wrong. What should I do about this problem. I really want to improve on this. Has anyone faced such a situation? Can anyone help me with this? I would like to follow a step by step approach to overcome this problem.

[smartile]

Originally posted by Dev
I usually fail to convince the opposite person.

... of what? That you are right and they are wrong? Are you trying to 'prove' something?

I wouldn't want to engage in a conversation with someone who is always right. Sometimes I want to be right. Sometimes I want to know that you're listening to me.

You don't always have to talk when you're in a conversation. You could probably learn more by listening. Besides, we've got two ears and one mouth, so I figure we should listen twice as much as we speak.

When you're speaking, you've got to ask yourself:

What is the intention you've set out?
What's your hidden agenda?
Why are you saying what you want to say?

The answer to those questions will uncover your blind spot.

[Dev]

Thanks for your inputs Stephen. I will implement the suggestions given by you. Do you think this has anything to do with lack of confidence? Do I need to take up some course to improve on Communication skills. I realize & admit this problem and now I need to take some concrete action.

[dali]

Maybe you are a bit overly concerned about what other people think of you and/or maybe you are doing their thinking for them? We are what we are. Its not such a bad thing to know our limitations. Some people cant speak .Others cant hear.You are able to do both and have the time and energy to improve in both areas. People are generally quite considerate and accepting.

You can also find practical ways to help you communicate better. (Not taking yourself so seriously might be a good place to start though.). Maybe you could seek out a voice coach, someone who teaches drama. That can be very helpful.They can really enable people to improve in this area. With a bit of practice and a dollop of humour we can watch ourselves blossom in any area we choose to work on. Gradually our self confidence increases and our problems fade. Good luck!

[Dev]

Thanks Dali. To take immediate Action in this area I am thinking of joing local chapter of Toastmasters.