Identify with Behaviors You Can Control, Not with Results You Can't

[taylor]

This is from the polyphasic sleep log thread. I was almost adapted to the new schedule when I overslept 8 hours. Realizing that this wasn't going to slow me down gave me a huge insight into implementing habits for personal growth. I thought I would share here for your benefit:

Couldn't sleep during the last 3 naps.

This would bother many people, but I don't even care anymore. I've seen polyphasic work for me great already, and I wasn't even fully adapted to it yet. I've already made it a part of my lifestyle. It's not even a struggle. I sleep every four hours. That's just the way it is. I don't fall asleep during some of my naps? It's not a problem. Eventually I will. I make a mistake? I oversleep? Not a problem. I'll just go back to normal sooner or later.

The key I think in personal growth is making an identity shift. This is the point behind affirmations, visualizations, and goals that begin in "I ..." If you want something, become that which will bring it to you. For example, let's say you want to get in shape. Don't struggle with something that goes against your self image, like saying, "I am physically fit. I benchpress 300 pounds effortlessly." That is an OK affirmation. It focuses you. It motivates you. But then what happens when you look in the mirror? You think, "Liar." The point is, you can't change how much you can benchpress. All you can change are your actions leading up to that goal.

Become the kind of person who always goes to the gym 3 times a week no matter what. That you can control. You can make an immediate identity shift to this, with no thoughts that you're fooling yourself. You don't have to spend 30 minutes listening to inspirational music or looking at athletic heroes, pumping yourself up to go to the gym. You just go. It's going to be hard. It's going to be painful. You won't see immediate results. Just accept these facts upfront. You go to the gym after all of this and you get what you expect. That's good. While it was painful, while it was hard, it wasn't THAT hard, because psychologically you weren't resisting it. It is who you are so you just accept it. You're making progress on your goal of benching 300lbs. But in another sense you've already completed it.

I know this post was kind of outside the scope of polyphasic sleep, but this great realization just came to me and I wanted to share! Looking back, I've always succeeded in personal growth following this method. I feel like I just ensured the success of my next few goals. Good luck to you all!

[stephencp]

""I am physically fit. I benchpress 300 pounds effortlessly.That is an OK affirmation. It focuses you. It motivates you. But then what happens when you look in the mirror? You think, "Liar." The point is, you can't change how much you can benchpress."

A goal by definition is something that you want to do (in the future) and hasn't happened yet. Most counsel for effective affirmations is indeed to state your goal as if it has already occured (since "I will...." means that you'll eventually do something and may always put off acting NOW). While you might feel like your lying to your conscious self, eventually your subconscious will not tolerate the difference and move you towards your goal. Your mind cannot believe and disbelieve the same thing.


"All you can change are your actions leading up to that goal.Become the kind of person who always goes to the gym 3 times a week no matter what."

This is indeed the more important half of the equation. You must take ACTION towards your goal(s). "Intending" to bench press 300 lbs all day long will not help you "manifest" a body that can do it. You must hit the gym (alot.) However, why are you going and becoming a person that goes to the gym? Because you "are" a person that can bench press 300 lbs and your mind is having trouble reconciling what you and your subconscious are saying versus what "reality" is saying. If there's no continuing motivation to change (via a frequent affirmation) then your mind might end up saying "why am I going to the gym? I can't lift 300 lbs anyway..." or " I can always start up again later..."

Stephen
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