Perfectionism/Procrastination/Paralysis

[ScotiaCoast]

As far back as grade four, I can remember being a perfectionist in everything school-related. In high school I frequently stayed up all night studying or trying to perfect assignments that I had usually put off until the last minute. Although last minute, I would get a rush of energy and feel motivated to perform well. Usually it was worth it, and my grades reflected my strives for 'perfection'. And then university hit. I still leave assignments until the last minute (in spite of attending more than one procrastination/time management workshop), but instead of feeling an adrenaline rush and push to stay up all night (or any time of day) working on assignments to get good grades, I now just feel drained, apathetic, and can't see the point in putting any effort into attempting to complete the work. For some reason, the mix of procrastination/perfectionism went from working to my advantage (or at least letting me get by alright), to putting me at a complete disadvantage. Whenever I have work to do, in spite of a waning desire to perform well so that I can eventually get into professional programmes, I feel mentally (and sometimes physically) choked and my reserve of motivation seems to have run dry. The pileup of assignments and commitments leave me feeling paralysed, like I can't do anything. Others tell me to just do the work. I tell myself to just do the work, and even though I know I can (I did in my past, so why not now?), I won't. I feel confused, frustrated, and tired of letting other people and myself (or at least the person I used to be) down. I realise this is likely a perfectionism and mindset thing, but I just don't know where to go from here.

[Liveformx64]

First let me say, I feel your pain.

I fought with this for a long time.

Look at it like this. It is obvious you aren't lazy because when you do your work you do it with passion and a degree of perfectionism. So that is not this issue, although it can come across that way sometimes, doesn't it?

Sounds like you go through the motivation cycle just like I used to. You get all jazzed up after a good restful weekend, so you head into Monday full of energy ready to take on the world. You take on new projects, new whatever else it may be, but still some of last weeks dirty work is hanging around. Finally by Friday you have 3 days worth of work to do, and 8 hours to do it. So you become discouraged.

Okay, so we both know all about it, what do you do from here?

Really you need to face this war at a few fronts.

What was most helpful to me was to get organized. Let me guess, you are a somewhat organized person, but could probably do better? But you were putting that off until later. I know.. me too.

Organization helps eliminate those 100s of little micro decisions each day that rob you of energy. Take a look at your day, and see what you spend the most time doing? Think about it like a racecar. The pit crew analyzes each corner and straight away to see where they are slow, and where they are fast. Once they establish these hold ups they go to work on adjustments towards maximum efficiency.

Secondly, you have to hit rock bottom to make a change in this area, because it is so deeply rooted in daily habits. Start by doing the little things first, always put your clothes away when you get home, don't just throw them on the bed. Wipe out the sink when you are done shaving, etc etc.. Basically, everything you touch try to leave just a little bit better than when you first picked it up. This has a compound effect of lightening your load. I am sure you understand the compounding effect of procrastination, and how it multiplies your burden with each passing day.

Finally, The human body is the most complex structure we have discovered in the known universe. Your body is a high performing Formula-1 race car. So let me ask you, what are you feeding it? Are you headed down to Bobs Gas Pump and putting in the 1.99 regular from the rusty tank out back? Or are you filling your body with the high octane fuel that your body and mind so desperately need. Cut out the chemicals and preservatives and you will find a clarity unlike anything you have ever known. Your intuition will ramp up 10 fold and the answers to problems you were otherwise stuck in, will come to you easily.

Simply put, there is no easy way out. This is going to take work, but what is the alternative? There is no choice but forward and onward.

Keep us posted on your journey.

[Pegasus]

ScotiaCoast,

Break down the task into smaller parts so you don't feel so overwhelmed. Perfectionists are notorious for having an all-or-nothing attitude. Baby steps!

[bbdream8]

Originally Posted by ScotiaCoast

As far back as grade four, I can remember being a perfectionist in everything school-related. In high school I frequently stayed up all night studying or trying to perfect assignments that I had usually put off until the last minute. Although last minute, I would get a rush of energy and feel motivated to perform well. Usually it was worth it, and my grades reflected my strives for 'perfection'. And then university hit. I still leave assignments until the last minute (in spite of attending more than one procrastination/time management workshop), but instead of feeling an adrenaline rush and push to stay up all night (or any time of day) working on assignments to get good grades, I now just feel drained, apathetic, and can't see the point in putting any effort into attempting to complete the work. For some reason, the mix of procrastination/perfectionism went from working to my advantage (or at least letting me get by alright), to putting me at a complete disadvantage. Whenever I have work to do, in spite of a waning desire to perform well so that I can eventually get into professional programmes, I feel mentally (and sometimes physically) choked and my reserve of motivation seems to have run dry. The pileup of assignments and commitments leave me feeling paralysed, like I can't do anything. Others tell me to just do the work. I tell myself to just do the work, and even though I know I can (I did in my past, so why not now?), I won't. I feel confused, frustrated, and tired of letting other people and myself (or at least the person I used to be) down. I realise this is likely a perfectionism and mindset thing, but I just don't know where to go from here.

First thing first. You have a adopted a pattern on dealing with things till the last minute and I think that you are drained out because of this.

Have you notice some other people are always so relax in exams and eventually get very good grades for it? They are breaking down the revision of the subjects into bite size nuggets and is practicing everyday for maybe 30min or an hour. This ensures that the pressure would not be overwhelming for them when the exam deadline is near and the workload could be unbearable if you want to revise for it in a shot. Read more on baby steps here.

Perfectionism is a perfect tool for destroying action. Sometimes it is good to start with imperfection. Only when you start, the energy you focus on the project at hand will gather momentum and thus crushing procrastination. You can read this article on procrastination

[PetraPortland]

I recognise the study habits you describe in myself - or how I used to be. I was typically an 'all or nothing' type. I've learned to identify what I really love - & do that to the best of my ability. The rest I've just learned 'to do'.

For me the hardest thing was the stress & worry I felt about procrastinating. This was worse than the actual doing. Another thing I do if there is a deadline - I tell myself it's due 2 days before the real date. This give me time to do the 'perfectionist' fix & get that last minute adrenaline feeling. Hope some of this helps. Petra

[ScotiaCoast]

Thanks everyone for your responses - I really appreciate your taking time to help me out. (:

Yesterday I ended up having to call in to work to let them know I wouldn't be able to come in because I have so much schoolwork piled up .. but then I ended up getting very little accomplished of what needed to be done. I still haven't started on most things. My classes are on a block plan which means I do one at a time for about a month. With the amount of work that I need to have done for tomorrow and the day after (but haven't started), I feel like this class might very well be a write-off at this point. Liveformx64, you say I need to reach rock bottom - well I think I've arrived! This chronic procrastination is affecting every area of my life in a negative way and I need to change it. The most frustrating thing for me is that from the outside people will see me as a person who is lazy and doesn't care about his schoolwork (and rightfully so), when really I am consumed by anguish and guilt over what I haven't done. I guess the good news is that no matter what the outcome of this class, I'll have four days to gather my thoughts and plan better for the next block. I also found a website (www.procrastination.ca) that I think will help me a lot with my struggle.

Again, thanks.

[inquiringmind4u]

Originally Posted by ScotiaCoast

This chronic procrastination is affecting every area of my life in a negative way and I need to change it. The most frustrating thing for me is that from the outside people will see me as a person who is lazy and doesn't care about his schoolwork (and rightfully so), when really I am consumed by anguish and guilt over what I haven't done.

ScotiaCoast,

I'll tell you the secret to ending procrastination:

You need to find out what its secret value is to you.

As unbelievable as it sounds, there IS a secret value in it for you. All patterns that a human being finds himself in are delivering some kind of unseen, secret benefit to himself.

In looking at it for a moment, the hidden benefit is extraordinary, yet fairly easy to see.

Take the two possible scenarios:

1) Procrastination: You have a lot of work to do, and instead of starting it, you distract yourself, sit and think about how much there is to do, or whatever the evasive tactic is that your particular character turns to.

2) Simply Begin Working: You have a lot of work to do, and you simply begin working on it. No fireworks, no great heroic arrivals, you simply begin.

Can you place yourself at the beginning of each of these scenarios and "feel" what the internal difference is between them?

In the case of #1 (procrastination), there is a very strong, surging vibration inside of you. You are someone with a ton to do, and bound on all sides by not being able to start. In this scenario, you are 100% defined by the situation.... and there's a peculiar kind of "safety" and "security" in this state, because you know exactly who you are: You are the person with too much to do, and who is destined to be a dismal failure (or whatever your mind likes to picture).

I may not have described it perfectly for your situation, you'll have to do that work for yourself. But one other common feeling in this scenario is when we imagine all the work we have, and then imagine ourselves gathering our energy in a half hour or so (after some pleasurable activity we give ourselves as an outlet first) and then imagine ourselves finally bursting through this wall that has us stopped.

In that case, the exact same thing is going on inside of you: You are defined through your own imagination as the oppressed, and in a short while you are going to emerge as the hero... as the victor... as the person who finally harnesses his faculties and gets it all done! Can you recall the kind of surging, vibrating certainty these images set-up inside of you?

Now, the important part... contrast these feelings with how you feel when you actually start a project... when you actually begin working on something:

There aren't a lot of fireworks are there? No trumpets blaring, no grand arrivals. And, strangely, you don't really know who exactly you are in those moments of productivity, do you? There's just a state of active working, but there's no "strong identity" that you can refer to to know who you are in that moment. After all, if you're actually working, there's no room to stop and take stock of who you are at the moment.

This is the actual core level engine that powers procrastination...

Every person on the planet is addicted to defining who they are by everything they do. By what they are doing, will do, or have done. When the activity promises a reward (the great recognized person I will become after the task is complete) or is something my interests are naturally drawn to, I have no problem getting started and doing the task.

But when it's just a matter of doing a task with no obvious sense of myself to look forward to, I can't see the point in getting started, because after all, who am I becoming by doing this? And so other distractions and postponements will always win out because they instantly give me something: They give me my new, solid, surging sense of identity.

Are you getting the drift of this?

If you could just catch a glimpse of how the conflict of procrastination gives you the safety of knowing exactly who you are in the moment, and that that certainty is actually more important to a part of you than getting the job done, you would be on the road to ending the domination procrastination has had over your life.

[Lucid Dreamer]

Thank you inquiringmind4u! This is the best insight I've had yet on my own chronic procrastination. (Nothing has been able to shift it, not even EFT.)

I always thought I was weak because I was more likely to do my work when I wanted to impress someone or have them praise me for a job well done. Or that I was lazy because of extreme avoidance behaviour. I realise now that doing some tasks did not allow me the opportunity to define myself as the person I invisaged in my mind. For example, I would put off cleaning tasks because I would see myself in the 'housekeeper' role when I did them, and that was a role I have always tried to avoid (perhaps because I was trained to do it by my mother :P).

I am still not sure how to go from here, though. Insight is useless without the tools to make changes, and if you have any tips on how to change this behaviour (more EFT?), it would be much appreciated.

[inquiringmind4u]

Thank you, LucidDreamer. Regarding your question:

Originally Posted by Lucid Dreamer

I am still not sure how to go from here, though. Insight is useless without the tools to make changes, and if you have any tips on how to change this behaviour (more EFT?), it would be much appreciated.

Thank you for posing that question. It sets the ground perfectly for strengthening the previous explanation.

Let's focus for a moment on this specific statement:

Originally Posted by Lucid Dreamer

I am still not sure how to go from here, though.

It's quite possible (highly likely, actually!) that that question is being asked by the exact same "self" who needs a rock-solid definition of itself before it is willing to take the next step.

See how sneaky it is? And see how its contemplations actually feel like "you"?

What you're avoiding is the cold-water splash in the face that comes when you simply dive in and start working on something without allowing ourself to decide if we're ready or not.

You need the cold-water splash in the face!

Find something you need to do, ANYTHING, right this very moment, and just go start. Don't take stock of yourself, don't try to measure your energies to see if you have everything you need to get the job done, don't try to gauge whether "you've got it in you" to go work on it. These are the secret (and favorite) traps of the same level of self who loves to be stopped and paralyzed. Its questions are all disguises by which it fools you into thinking the "super-achiever" is the one asking the questions and assessing the situation.

The true super-achiever has no idea who he or she is when they are working. They are being made by the moment itself, and has no concern whatsoever for finding some way to define exactly who they are.

Just go and start right now, right this very moment. Go do it! But -- be aware of what it's like to do something without having a solid definition of yourself as you do it!

When you have that startling realization, you will suddenly realize that that part of yourself that was looking for a solid sense of identity before it was willing to start a project was the very thing keeping you locked in inaction!

Try it and post here what you discover!

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by inquiringmind4u

Try it and post here what you discover!

Tagged.

Man, I'm going to try a super-achiever mindset tomorrow. Thank you as well for the insight!

[Elfwing]

I recommend freewriting - writing down anything that comes to mind without censoring it. Or correcting it. Whether it be a typo or just a sentence you find off. It's usually used for writers, but it's used for writers to combat perfectionism, and you can probably benefit from it. If you wish to try it out, set a timer for 15 minutes or something. Making a habit of it could help get it down, if not eliminate it altogether.

[javed]

Scotiacoast

You already have some good advices. However, I think you will benefit by reading this article on excellence, perfection and procrstination.

Let Us Grow: Excellence Vs Perfection – Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

[MitoteLiberation]

Originally Posted by Liveformx64

First let me say, I feel your pain.

I fought with this for a long time.

Look at it like this. It is obvious you aren't lazy because when you do your work you do it with passion and a degree of perfectionism. So that is not this issue, although it can come across that way sometimes, doesn't it?

Sounds like you go through the motivation cycle just like I used to. You get all jazzed up after a good restful weekend, so you head into Monday full of energy ready to take on the world. You take on new projects, new whatever else it may be, but still some of last weeks dirty work is hanging around. Finally by Friday you have 3 days worth of work to do, and 8 hours to do it. So you become discouraged.

Okay, so we both know all about it, what do you do from here?

Really you need to face this war at a few fronts.

What was most helpful to me was to get organized. Let me guess, you are a somewhat organized person, but could probably do better? But you were putting that off until later. I know.. me too.

Organization helps eliminate those 100s of little micro decisions each day that rob you of energy. Take a look at your day, and see what you spend the most time doing? Think about it like a racecar. The pit crew analyzes each corner and straight away to see where they are slow, and where they are fast. Once they establish these hold ups they go to work on adjustments towards maximum efficiency.

Secondly, you have to hit rock bottom to make a change in this area, because it is so deeply rooted in daily habits. Start by doing the little things first, always put your clothes away when you get home, don't just throw them on the bed. Wipe out the sink when you are done shaving, etc etc.. Basically, everything you touch try to leave just a little bit better than when you first picked it up. This has a compound effect of lightening your load. I am sure you understand the compounding effect of procrastination, and how it multiplies your burden with each passing day.

Finally, The human body is the most complex structure we have discovered in the known universe. Your body is a high performing Formula-1 race car. So let me ask you, what are you feeding it? Are you headed down to Bobs Gas Pump and putting in the 1.99 regular from the rusty tank out back? Or are you filling your body with the high octane fuel that your body and mind so desperately need. Cut out the chemicals and preservatives and you will find a clarity unlike anything you have ever known. Your intuition will ramp up 10 fold and the answers to problems you were otherwise stuck in, will come to you easily.

Simply put, there is no easy way out. This is going to take work, but what is the alternative? There is no choice but forward and onward.

Keep us posted on your journey.

Wow.. great post.

ScotiaCoast, I am going through a similar state .. right now it's affecting me with mid-terms, not being ready yet, and not wanting to even go until I can be Perfectly Ready to ACE it! ya know? ughhh (I've been sick for the past 4 or 5 days so I'm using that as an excuse for not going .. I could probably bare going through a few classes long enough to take it & leave.. IF I WAS READY! but no, I procrasted as usual.
So good luck, I'd recommend making a schedule.. or after school do it AT the school before you even go home so you can already have it out of your hair and it will be like A New Life! To do more things that make you happy


But as for quoting this post, haha , man. Your really know what you're talking about it! I actually found myself Laughing Out Loud to the some of the things you wrote!.. You hit the nail on the head. Just had to give you the kudos

[Steve Errey]

I think InquiringMind has some great points to make. Us humans repeat patterns of behaviour because there's a distinct pay-off (or pay-offs) in doing so.

Figure out what the pay-off is and you're in a position of choice about what to do next.

As InquiringMind suggests, it can be really hard to see a pay-off in going forwards with a project that doesn't really mean much to us or that we're struggling to find a valid connection to. In reading your posts I get the sense that you've lost a connection to 2 things - 1. a strong sense of who you are, and 2. a strong sense of what matters to you. With those 2 elements in place, you become grounded and connected to you and your life.

I think that's a foundation layer for taking action, and with that foundation it becomes so much easier to make choices that serve us well.

As long as you're engaged with the things that matter to you you're free to get going with all kinds of projects that have a personal relevance.

Feel free to holler if you want to drill into any of those areas and have any questions.

[Miss Moo]

InquiringMind, that has got to be one of the most insightful viewpoints on procrastination I have ever heard. Thank you so much.

[dice]

I feel your pain as well my friend.

You've described the exact situation I'm struggling with right now.

I recently became so apathetic that I'd stay up extremely late watching movies, talking to old friends, and sleeping the entire day through all my classes - sometimes until 2-3PM. I missed a midterm. That was rock bottom for me, the punishment was 25% of my grade in an incredibly easy class (that I was genuinely interested in as well).

Personally, I put things off (not when they're difficult) but when I feel they are easy, not guaranteed to be rewarding, or unexciting and thats put me in more messes than I'd like to admit to and robbed me of many opportunities

Recently I had a massive epiphany that I had to change what I was studying and just do what I wanted to do already (I want to be in the entertainment biz - movies theatre music art - and I was biding my time taking a cautious 'side road' trying to study it from a philosophical/psychological angle instead of just plunging myself into it and learning by doing).

That and a few phonecalls to declare a double major (something challenging). I slack off when my schedule's laid back - and only really do my best stuff when i'm basically at gunpoint or under the scrutiny of a prof/boss I really admire.

so based on what's helped me surface from this in the past 3 days (literally):
1. only study something you DEEPLY want to do and that you couldn't imagine a future without
2. make sure your taking the most dangerous and direct route (with obvious and massive consequences if you slack)
3. if you can, sign up for classes with good profs (take time to find out whose good). Just their presence will motivate you. Try to seek their praise. (I had an incredible teacher in highschool for history and have never worked harder on assignments in my life because of my respect for him)
4. as a last resort - if you have no real-living inspiration/role model - watch movies and let the characters inspire you. this works really well for me.

I hope this helps, there's nothing quite as horrible as that stuck feeling.

[inquiringmind4u]

Originally Posted by Miss Moo

InquiringMind, that has got to be one of the most insightful viewpoints on procrastination I have ever heard. Thank you so much.

Thank you Miss Moo. I appreciate your nice comment.

You know, I think the single biggest mistake we make when facing a limitation in ourselves is attempting to be stronger than it is.

If you look at much of the advice given to people who ask, "How do I overcome _________," what you'll find (most often) are suggestions for finding the strength to overcome the limitation.

In reality there's only one way to overcome any limitation, and that's to understand what powers it. No strength is needed at all. All I have to do is get closer to my failure (limitation), instead of pushing it away.

There's a tenet in Truth Teachings that says, "When facing a problem, never make the mistake of finding a solution, an answer."

Instead, study the problem itself. The solution to any difficulty is always found within the understanding of the difficulty itself.

This also explains why it's so rare to find someone who has actually "solved" a problem -- escaped its clutches. After all, I would much rather set my hopes on adding new strengths to myself than to spend time with the problem itself.

Thanks again for your feedback.

Be well,

Tim

[ScotiaCoast]

Thanks for the further advice, everyone.

dice: What would you suggest I do if I currently have no control over the choice of my classes? I realise I always have the choice of leaving my university, but in my current position my classes are essentially mandated for the first two years and every student completes the same varied curriculum. I don't even know my schedule for the year, I find out what class I have next a few days before it starts. Today I started my second philosophy class of the school year, a subject I always dread (especially since participation always seems to be a large component of the grading scheme).

Again, thanks so much for the insights.

[dice]

If you can't change your courses, check into the profs you have and make sure they're good people. And if you can't do that - find something in the course that means something to you. I couldn't stand my science courses, but eventually I found that my best ideas would from connecting obscure references from scientific theories/laws/processes. I don't know if that makes sense to you - but if you can find a way to apply the tiny details into a bigger picture of something more important to you that helps a lot.

And if that fails - maybe find someone you admire who studies what you study and try to see how its benefiting them.

(I'm in a philosophy course too! I dont take notes, just write down every question/objection and look for flaws/gaps, that keeps me on my toes in class.)

[WadudaNura]

First, THANK YOU. your post is amazing.

You say to just start doing something, you want certainty. That's true. I do want certainty.

I want certainty that what I'm doing is worthwhile. That it will have results.
Sometimes when you don't know what path you want to take, and you just exhausted your brain thinking about it, you just have to pick a path, which is where I am right now. But I am having such a hard time keeping going, because I keep questioning myself, am I on the right path? did I make the right choice?

I have the hardest time doing the work. My brain goes in all kinds of directions... and 2 pages can sometimes take 2 hours.

I feel certainty that there is a higher power... but I'm always afraid of taking the wrong action in service to that higher power, to those eternal principles.

Any advice?

[inquiringmind4u]

Originally Posted by WadudaNura

First, THANK YOU. your post is amazing.

Hi WadudaNura -- thank you very much for saying that.

Originally Posted by WadudaNura

You say to just start doing something, you want certainty. That's true. I do want certainty.

I want certainty that what I'm doing is worthwhile. That it will have results.

Just an extra sidenote to this: The human mind (which all of us live from), in its present divided state, demands certainty at all times. It doesn't care what form that certainty takes, it can be a pain, a pleasure, self-glory, self-loathing, confusion, procrastination, indecisiveness, compulsive ambition. Anything at all will suffice, and it has no discernment or care whatsoever in the type of certainty it grabs hold of. Tormenting confusion is just as safe and secure as a compulsive ambition.

Take a close look at 'tormenting confusion' and 'indecisiveness' -- those are two favorites for pretty much everyone (and apply directly to what you are asking about). Notice how finding yourself in a state of confusion gives you a solid secure sense of identity: "I'm the one trapped between these two choices, and who doesn't know what to do!" It seems like a contradiction, but the fact is, confusion is a place of safety for our present mind because, incredibly, a confused state of myself is just as rock-solid certain as a pleasurable one.

Originally Posted by WadudaNura

Sometimes when you don't know what path you want to take, and you just exhausted your brain thinking about it, you just have to pick a path, which is where I am right now.

But I am having such a hard time keeping going, because I keep questioning myself, am I on the right path? did I make the right choice?

I have the hardest time doing the work. My brain goes in all kinds of directions... and 2 pages can sometimes take 2 hours.

I feel certainty that there is a higher power... but I'm always afraid of taking the wrong action in service to that higher power, to those eternal principles.

Any advice?

Indeed, sometimes you just have to choose a course and set sail.

But keep this in mind: When you make a choice simply because you can't see which option is the best of the two and can't stand remaining in indecision, it may not be until you complete the task that you find out whether it was "right" or "wrong" for you.

You chose the one that you did simply because it was driving you crazy to sit there in indecision, right? OK, that's good and fine. Just realize that making that initial decision doesn't put you any closer to knowing which is right for you. But it WILL LEAD TO THAT.

So you've basically decided, "I'm going to do one of these two all the way to the very end and let the results reveal to me whether or not it was the right thing to do."

The part of your mind that starts coming up with doubt-filled thoughts is the same mind that wants to stop you.... that wants security in the form of re-creating that "sense of yourself" as the one who is confused and locked in indecision. Once you've decided that you're going to do A so that you can find out if A or B is the better choice, then you must refuse any attempt of your mind to drag you down into self-doubting.

When those self-doubting thoughts show up, think this to yourself, "I already know full well that I presently don't know which of these two things is the best choice. The doubting thoughts aren't telling me something I don't already know. So they are totally useless to me. A distraction that's trying to get me to stop and build a camp back in the world of indecision. Forget it. I'm continuing on."

See the difference here? Normally when we make a choice simply to take us out of indecision, we expect it to give us a reassurance that we've made the "right" choice. At the outset it can't deliver that reassurance, but we always forget that. So when doubt shows up, we're tricked into believing it when it whispers, "You made the wrong choice."

The real choice we made -- and the "right" choice" -- was to refuse the drain of indecision and simply commit to one path. Where we get into problems is thinking that our uncertainty over which is the best course is somehow going to be wiped away simply because we made a choice.

The uncertainty will most definitely still be there... after all, you didn't learn anything new about the two options simply by choosing one over the other, right? But by completing whichever direction we have chosen, to our best possible abilities, we will find that either it works just fine, or it was the wrong choice.

But at that point WE WILL KNOW IT WAS THE WRONG CHOICE. No more torment from painful indecision.

Originally Posted by WadudaNura

I feel certainty that there is a higher power... but I'm always afraid of taking the wrong action in service to that higher power, to those eternal principles.

I can assure you that that Higher Power knows you don't know what the next best step is for yourself. It knows you're in confusion. It knows you need help. To you it feels like the next action is connected to the two opposing desires... the two options in front of you, and you're afraid of making the wrong choice out of those two. But the next action that that Higher Power is concerned with isn't really connected to which of the two options you choose. The "action" It is actually concerned with is the level of being -- the spirit -- by which you either a) step forward from where you are to gain clarity through action; or b) wait patiently for a clarity to arrive through a subtler communication.

[ProjectX]

wow imind4u. Your post really helped me reach a new clarity.

[st33med]

Alright, since this is the Procrastination thread, I'll post my own problem with it.

I see what you are trying to say inquiringmind4u. But, whenever I get to this problem, I ask myself unconsciously, "Am I ready for this?" Heck yeah. Small headache, but, whatever. "Will this add to my knowledge or help me?"

That is where I stall out. There are some projects that I simply don't see the point in. Keep in mind I am in high school. For example, I finished these essays for my AP English class' vocabulary for the SATs. I just do not see the point when I can easily memorize the vocabulary, and it does not help me with the definitions because I attach nothing to the definitions or context clues. No emotion, no vivid imagination. Nothing. Therefore, the motivation to do it does not exist or exists as a minor annoyance.

Worse is that if I don't do it, I'll flunk out of my class because of something that I think is a waste of my time. My time is not precious, but, I constantly think I could be do something else more creative or fun.

Could you, or someone else, tell me what is wrong?

[nick pagan]

I think that you might enjoy this short article on perfectionism and how to counter it. It also includes my own embarrassing story of how I learned this lesson the hard way

Antidote to Perfectionism

[inquiringmind4u]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

wow imind4u. Your post really helped me reach a new clarity.

Thank you ProjectX. In all honesty, I was equally surprised (and helped) by where this thread led, and what it revealed.

[Miss Moo]

Originally Posted by st33med

whenever I get to this problem, I ask myself unconsciously, "Am I ready for this?" Heck yeah. Small headache, but, whatever. "Will this add to my knowledge or help me?"

That is where I stall out. There are some projects that I simply don't see the point in. Keep in mind I am in high school.

Why do you stall out in the second question? For starters, if you intend on going to uni the answer is "yes" regardless of what the project is. If you don't get the score that you want, while not impossible, it will be harder to get in (well that's how it is in Australia anyway).

If you don't want to go to university and instead you intend on getting a job or a trade straight out of high school, perhaps you need to ask the question "Will this add to my knowledge or help me?" in that context. Will the project you're doing help (indirectly or directly) get that job/apprenticeship/traineeship/whatever?

If you're not sure what you want to do, which is most people in high school, than perhaps you should take inquiringmind4u's advice and just not analyse what you're doing at all: just do it. It will become clear later whether or not it was the right decision.