Your Most Useful Life Advice To Us

[PetraPortland]

Originally Posted by Thoreau

I would like to request the advice of this community of intelligent people.

Hi Thoreau

From James Allen a core self help essence: To link deliberatly directed thought with purpose.

Petra X

[Eisho]

Correct timing is crucial. Study it well.

Eisho

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Angela

Interesting. Those three don't make my list at all.

Then I guess it's impatience, despair and hubris for the win!

Never aim for a goal that you can't achieve in a week. Commit suicide when you're feeling down. Talk down to people when you're feeling up. Pretend you control everything etc.

Not really my bag. The interesting this is, a virtue like humility has the opposite effect. By humbling yourself, you gain control. By being patient and allowing things to take time, results come quicker than you expected. Hope... well, you want to hold on to that. Hope is one of the fundamental building blocks - the last thing standing between life, and putting a bullet in your head. At least that's how I think about it.

[sbdiane]

Something a friend told me has actually proven to be quite wise even though it doesn't sound all that profound:

Spend your money on the things you really enjoy.

He told me that when I was hiking with him and complaining about my worthless cotton socks. He said never skimp on the things I needed for hiking. Money spent to support the things I enjoyed would be worth more than money spent on other things. It has proven to be true. Following his advice has led me to amazing adventures I might have missed and even to good jobs that paid me more than I ever expected I would earn. So when I spend my money now, it is on things that matter most to me.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

Then I guess it's impatience, despair and hubris for the win!

Nope. Those don't make my list, either.

[YoungBuck]

Impossible is Nothing. - Muhammad Ali

[Plato]

Never overplay King Jack

- Phil Helmuth

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Angela

Nope. Those don't make my list, either.

OK, we're playing "I know you are, but what am I?" I'll give it a shot. I think with 6,874 posts and a few yrs on this forum, one of the virtues on your list is to be an effective moderator. Oh, and then there's love, oneness, personal power and "boldly finding your inner truth". Jackpot?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

OK, we're playing "I know you are, but what am I?" I'll give it a shot. I think with 6,874 posts and a few yrs on this forum, one of the virtues on your list is to be an effective moderator. Oh, and then there's love, oneness, personal power and "boldly finding your inner truth". Jackpot?

I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means: "I know you are, but what am I"? (in this context, I mean; of course I know the schoolyard taunt.)

Those are all really good ones -- not necessarily ones I'm focusing on in this moment, but I like 'em! What I was noticing was just that one person's values don't match up with everyone else's. I think people (not necessarily you) often think that our values *should* be held by others. It's just interesting to see how they interact.

[Parthon]

Hehe, I can see where you are coming from Angela.

When I heard "patience, humility and hope." I thought "Really? Are they giving up on awesomeness?"

Looking back at it though, those values don't resonate with me at all. I don't need patience, humility or hope right now.

Instead, I'm looking at being "dangerously awesome". That's resonating a lot.

The important of values are if they resonate with you, and where you are at right now. If they don't resonate with you, drop them and find new ones.

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means: "I know you are, but what am I"? (in this context, I mean; of course I know the schoolyard taunt.)

I meant, "I know what's on your list, but you still don't know what's on mine". Sort of like we're playing a guessing game. Bad wording on my part.

I think people (not necessarily you) often think that our values *should* be held by others.

Then again there are some people with value systems which really do need to be questioned (perhaps I should reciprocate: not necessarily you). Also, I think some values need to be shared.

Instead, I'm looking at being "dangerously awesome".

Sure, but I think most people are more awsome - and dangerous - than they could possibly imagine in the first place. I'm dangerous by default. That's why I think humbling myself is necessary. Also, with the sheer complexity of the world and the amount of information in it, I can't really live a life without humility (this is not to be confused with passivity, which I don't consider to be a virtue) Hey, I found some guys who agree with me:

Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.
Confucius

The farther a man knows himself to be from perfection, the nearer he is to it.
Gerard Groote

One thing I forgot to mention is persistance/self-discipline, which I also think is important, and often forgotten in an age where we tend to overrate instant gain.

[Plato]

Keep your head still and swing from the hips.

[Marco Polo]

Or that.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

I meant, "I know what's on your list, but you still don't know what's on mine". Sort of like we're playing a guessing game. Bad wording on my part.

Oh, I see. I'm sorry if it felt like I was withholding or playing a guessing game. (unless that's fun! )

Then again there are some people with value systems which really do need to be questioned (perhaps I should reciprocate: not necessarily you). Also, I think some values need to be shared.

Really? They *need* to be questioned or shared? Which ones? How come?

[makessense]

101 lessons learned from Personal Development

The link above is very similar to this thread. It may have what you're looking for.

[lifetimelearner]

Benjamin Disraeli:
'Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.'

[Marco Polo]

Really? They *need* to be questioned or shared? Which ones? How come?

If your values only affect you, there wouldn't be much to discuss. But as humans we interact, and so what was once personal, transfers to other people. We affect each other. The particular values we're discussing in this thread may be quite personal, or not a big deal. But if you valued something like masochism, and started abusing people in your dungeon, your values are no longer isolated. They are now also the concern of your victims. That's just an extreme example to illustrate that values manifest in tangible actions, and that we should search for the preferable ones (maybe using dialectics or Socratic method).

As for shared values, I would say we already have that to an extent. Morality is based on shared values. For instance, it's beneficial for the collective if each individual learns not to be too wasteful, aggressive, and definitely if they learn not to rape, kill or maim. You can't force anyone to value something, but we can at least encourage it. If we didn't believe in certain "universal" values, then every generation would need to reinvent the metaphorical wheel. Then again, I think it's true that our specific life circumstances also impact the way we think about this.

[Angela]

Ah, so it sounds like you strongly prefer that certain values be questioned or shared. That's not the same thing as those values needing to be questioned or shared -- there doesn't seem to be any real imperative.

(p.s., if my value was masochism, I wouldn't be torturing people in my dungeon, I'd be getting tortured. And I'd be loving it.)

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Angela

Ah, so it sounds like you strongly prefer that certain values be questioned or shared. That's not the same thing as those values needing to be questioned or shared -- there doesn't seem to be any real imperative.

(p.s., if my value was masochism, I wouldn't be torturing people in my dungeon, I'd be getting tortured. And I'd be loving it.)

I meant sadism. Don't get hung up on semantics though. If I were one of your victims, my "strong preference" might as well qualify as a need. A need or imperative is what? Simply a means to an end. If our goal is survival, our needs include food and water. If our goal is a civilized society, as opposed to lawlessness or tyranny, we need shared value systems. Of course in a stricter nihilistic perspective, needs don't even exist.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

IA need or imperative is what? Simply a means to an end.

Yes, that's what I was asking you. A need or imperative to what end? It looks like your answer is that values need to be questioned and/or shared so that we may have a civilized society, and to avoid lawlessness and tyranny.

I'm not a nihilist, and yet I don't agree that values must be questioned and/or shared, otherwise we we'll denigrate civilization into lawlessness and tyranny. Look at you and me: you and I don't share the same values, and yet we're being civilized, we're living within the law and neither of us is tyrannizing the other. Both of us are still civil and free!

[Marco Polo]

I disagree. I think you and I share plenty of values. You just mentioned 2 of them, civility and freedom (even if these can be hard to define). I'm guessing you value basic things like property rights of some kind, not stealing, being honest with yourself and more. Even if you were correct that we don't have anything common, an uncivilized or fragmented society will not manifest from a simple internet text exchange. But if it were a scenario where only you and I were lost in some forest somewhere, I would be somewhat annoyed if you didn't value the same things as me. Like finding shelter and food. To be more precise, we (or just you) would probably die. Disagreement is good, until it stifles the basis for cooperation.

[Parthon]

List of Values

This is a list of 374 value that Steve came up with. Even then he says this isn't close to what every person on earth could possibly imagine. It's not exhaustive by any count.

People have different values, and that's what makes the world so interesting. Everyone is unique in how they view the world and what they cherish, and together we aer all part of the rich tapestry that is woven on the world.

I value freedom very highly, closely followed by adventure and discovery. My mum values security and stability. We both get on very well, and when we share our views on subjects we can each see a whole different side to a situation from the other person's point of view. It sometimes even leads to an argument or two.

Many people share the same values though, and even if they don't they'll get upset when particular values are broken. Things like honesty, fairness, and equality. For a society to function well, it's laws need to be based on high and positive values. Everyone can have individual values, but they shouldn't be allowed to negatively impact others. That's the purpose of laws. To set boundaries so people can live their lives more fully.

[Plato]

MAKE PAIN BEG FOR MORE.

Seriously. Feel pain. Take it. Stare it in the face and say YOU ARE NOT AN EVIL. PAIN, YOU ARE MY BOTCH.

not botch, you know.

Take up a sport that involves getting hurt and throw yourself in. Walk knowingly into risk, accept the possibility of injury and take it. If you don't do this you're already dead. Never submit! Go GO GO GO GO

[cheech]

"be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" plato

"don't worry, everyone fails all the time" dan gilbert

"they must change often, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom" confucious

[Kura Ookami]

I don't claim to have much experience in life as of this moment, but the one thing that came to mind when i read your opening post was this:

Embody what you teach and only teach what you embody.

Socrates, from Path of the peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman.

Here's another on the search for enlightenment from the same source I think:

Better to never begin. Once begun, better finish.

I still don't completely understand that one. Surely, it's better to improve your life to seek enlightenment than to never try, to not seek it at all?
Why those two came to me, I don't know.

[xizor1d]

"THE ALL is MIND; The Universe is Mental.”–The Kybalion.

"Think and grow rich" - napoleon hill

"The possession of Knowledge, unless accompanied by a manifestation and expression in Action, is like the hoarding of precious metals–a vain and foolish thing. Knowledge, like Wealth, is intended for Use. The Law of Use is Universal, and he who violates it suffers by
reason of his conflict with natural forces.“–The Kybalion.

"If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done" - Bruce Lee

[silviaclara]

I have been busy reading "Personal development for Smart People" and I love it to pieces. I only wish the title was: "Personal....for Intelligent people". For some unidentified reason, I don't like the word "smart" in this context! Go figure! But thank you, dear Steve, and please forgive me for telling you this. I think you are very intelligent! With love and gratitude from an old Italian grandma, Silviaclara.

[James81]

Life is hard, but if you choose to be harder, there's nothing you can't do.

[timothydrake]

JUST DO IT!

-Nike


Best freaking advice in the world.

[Black Spring]

"One doesn't discover new lands without losing sight of the shore for a long time." -Gide