A room of one's own

[FrancesL]

I've been living back at my parent's house for the last few months. They're great but it's felt like being in limbo, although I totally needed it so I could figure out what I am doing with my life, and get my head together after a difficult relationship. But now I am finally in a position to move out into my own place. Yay!

Thing is, I can't decide whether to get a flat on my own, or to get a room in a shared house.

A room would be more affordable; but if I take my time and look carefully I think I would be able to find a flat that's within budget. So it's not a money issue at heart.

I think I'm torn between having enough private space in which to work (I work from home part of the time) and feeling like I'm a real independent grown-up with my own place; and on the other hand living somewhere that's full of life and other people, with stuff happening, and conversations to be had.

This turns into a conflict between what I intend for my life, which I think is the real crux of my indecision right now. I think that living with housemates would be perfectly fine for my present life situation. But in terms of the ideals towards which I'm working, a place of my own is more appropriate. Which is as much as to say, I think I could enjoy living with housemates right now, but I don't want to do it forever - and if I don't want to do it forever, why do it at all, when the other option is actually available to me?

Any thoughts on how I can go about choosing between these two equally appealing possibilities?!

[dannielo]

Originally Posted by FrancesL

I think I'm torn between having enough private space in which to work (I work from home part of the time) and feeling like I'm a real independent grown-up with my own place; and on the other hand living somewhere that's full of life and other people, with stuff happening, and conversations to be had.

This turns into a conflict between what I intend for my life, which I think is the real crux of my indecision right now. I think that living with housemates would be perfectly fine for my present life situation. But in terms of the ideals towards which I'm working, a place of my own is more appropriate. Which is as much as to say, I think I could enjoy living with housemates right now, but I don't want to do it forever - and if I don't want to do it forever, why do it at all, when the other option is actually available to me?

I'd choose the option that raises my self-confidence more - that is living by yourself.

Especially if the money is not a problem.

Of course that means you'll have to get out proactively to socialize, but isn't it better to choose who you want to spend time with than being forced by circumstances?

[FrancesL]

Crisis over - I have found the perfect room, in the perfect house, with the loveliest people.

But Dannielo, thank you for your input. Especially good point about the socialising by choice

[Call me Boges]

Every man should be the king of his own castle. If you share dwelling space it should be because you have allowed someone to live with you for whatever reason, not because of necessity or any other purpose.