How could you make something a must 4 you?

[netanel22]

Hello!

I've encountered as what tony say: "humans being do only their must, and avoid from their shoulds, and should all over themselves", and it's quite accurate. there are things that are a must for me and they done, and there is My "should" that I'm 100% wanna do, I know why. But I think I need a new way of thinking here, maybe focus on a specific thing.

Any Ideas ?
Thanks

[rjani]

I think making something a must for you isn't always a good thing, cause you can say I'll give 1000$ to someone if I don't do such and such things, and you'll succeed this way, but it'll can a constant struggle, and that's not pleasurable in any way...

It's easier to make the thing so pleasurable for you so you can't not do it.
For example, reward yourself, or something I use often is to think about something I do just because I love to do it, for example blogging, and then quickly think about the other thing I want to enjoy doing, then I think about blogging again, and the other thing, and so on, so you give that positive emotional charge to the other thing too.
And you should almost find things out how to do things so you'll enjoy it the most. Be creative

[netanel22]

Well, Thanks for your ideas they surely makes senses.
Although I think those are great for something you are already experienced with. I knows that something I already did, my brain easily makes a must because he knows the way to arrival, And it makes me going for it.
But, when It is the first time to do something that I'm really wanna achieve or do, and maybe it is a project that I need to start with,
I want to start a new project in my life to start a business or real estate investing. I absulotely want it, I've the goals writen down, I just keep making it a should, and I have to make it a must and go for it with massive action, there is just no other way.
I can't go for it like I don't really mean it because I will loose all momentum, and the further push that could make it all a win situation.

It is a long way forward, and I know it couldn't be done if I push myself forward with pain, I'm absolutely agree with you, but on the other hand how can I make it a must when there is long way in the middle to achive it and I don't even knows what it is, And my brain can't link pleasure to the Road, Only to the outcomes. and that's why he never get me going for it..
for the brain- it is new, it is the unknown, I might give something from myself in the way, and I might lose some things I already have.

I really want to bypass this thinking, and maybe other people knows what I'm talking about and could help or add ideas.

[mncz]

It is a little hard to explain in words properly, but the way to get where you want to get to is to change the mindset.
Instead of: "I need to get this done" you have to use the mindset of "it is necessary for me to get this done".

There is a profound difference between these two mindsets. While to fully grasp this idea, you have to feel it, I can best explain it to you by saying that what you "need" to do, you can easily live without, thus you are vulnerable to your mind making up all sorts of excuses for not doing it. On the other hand, if something is "necessary" for you to be done, all excuses lose their power, because the "necessary" thing is essential for your path and thus you cant really live without it. Thus, there is no other way for you to get where you want to go apart from doing the necessary thing. Then you immerse yourself into the "now" and do it, and it gets done.

You have to understand that this is not merely a word play. You have to reasonably see the necessary thing as essential. If for some action you cant change the "I need/should" mindset to "it is necessary" mindset, then perhaps it really is not necessary and you should consider abandoning it altogether to use your energy in a more useful way for things that are really necessary.

Another way is to see how the things that you need/should do align with your greater purpose. I found myself procrastinating a lot when I had no clear purpose in life, and when I found it, I also found that a lot of the things I was procrastinating on were not part of it. So perhaps you should think about your life purpose as well. It is very useful to have it clearly set, since it makes all your other choices (including the small ones) a lot easier.

And one more thing: the good old "pushing yourself" does not work. Even when it seems to, it is only creating a lot of problems down the road. Some people can and do push themselves for years - only to find themselves exausted, depressed and burned out later on. So it is a lot more productive to find a truely motivational mindset early on.

Best wishes,
mncz

[netanel22]

mncz, yeah I felt the different, I've never heard on this before and it's quite surprised me.
But I don't sure if it's solid material that I can rely on for the rest of my life, but I'll defenetly try it out.
Major thanks, It is essential for me now to go to sleep (ye pretty solid )

[rjani]

Hehe, I think your problem is just too much thinking.
Turn on action mode and then turn off your brain

Just remind yourself that if you're spending too much time thinking about it and not taking action, life will just pass by and you die, and no one will feel sorry for you, it was all your fault

I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes it's the only way to go. When I start taking action, it comes easily after that. And what I said above is true. Don't think someone or something gonna happen and make a miracle.
It's a very real possibility that you're gonna spend too much time nagging about it and nothing's gonna happen.

And who stood in your way? Nobody. So you haven't got any excuses. Go for it

[netanel22]

mncz, so far 100% luck with it, and it feels kinda like a super robot, I just go: it essential , and the brain let me go for it immediately, no bulls involved.

rjani, looks Iv'e just got to play a little with this sentence for motivation you have, and I replaced the word thinking with the word nagging, I think this is what I've encounter a lot in my life I've nagged myself to become successful.
The truth is that if you have something magnificent you need to do, or a plan, or a desire. there's two states, the first state is when you are an action oriented and then you have all the power at your side, like the law of attraction. The second state that I've not been aware of it, is that if you are not action oriented for those wants of yours, actually you are making problems to yourself and have 0 result, it's preffered already that you won't nagg yourself if you don't gonna make it happon, because it takes your freedom away. In this state nothing works: law of attraction, see where you wanna go, know what you want, you'r just nagging around.
I'll try this also and see if it's solid, also the benefits is more freedom.
thanks.

[Starman]

There is a reason behind why we do what we must and little else; it's pre-programmed in the wiring of the brain.

There was a time when energy (food) was very difficult to come by, and the best way to make it go further was to conserve energy as much as possible. We need to feel deep down that the expenditure of energy is worth it, that we're dealing with a must, or else maybe it's not worth struggling over.

A strange paradox for us humans is that we desire to remain comfortable, safe, happy, Leisurely, and without struggles in life. But those who get this wish quickly get too weak to handle the difficult stuff life throws at them. They become prey.

To choose to spend energy on shoulds as well as musts, we must struggle against our own desire to minimize our labor. Don't seek to eliminate the struggle; expect a hard fight. It isn't easy to live assertively, and this is by design, so that strength will be the reward, so you can move you up the success chain, where the challenges and rewards get bigger.

*Starman

[netanel22]

This is so cool, right now im surfing from the iphone, anyway thanks guys those advices are great and still using them, so thanks!