HELP! I don't know what's happening to me...

[geekchic85]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and read some of steve's articles which I find great. I have a huge problem with self motivation that i need to overcome....I'm just not sure how to force myself to do certain things. I always procrastinate with everything....bills, cleaning, work stuff etc. and I have no motivation to do anything unless it involves me going out with my friends and having fun or cooking and eating. Lately I have been skipping work (I am a sales rep so nobody checks up on what I do) for the past 2 weeks I haven't really gone to work....simply because I didn't feel like it. I also sleep in until around 10-11 almost everyday which isn't good.

I recently bought site builder, to make a website about things i am interested in which are basically all things spiritual and metaphysical....I did that last week and haven't even finished yet.

I spend many hours of my days, just day dreaming and sitting in front of my laptop looking at things that are meaningless.......I have been in this rut for almost a year now......HELP, what do I do? I think I need a personal development coach or something.....or maybe a hypnotherapy can make me motivated?

[sidsavara]

You may want to consider reading Getting Things Done. It's a great book that helps you take the next step from dreaming and ideas to actions. It is not for everyone, but I really enjoyed it. I wrote an article on my blog where I reference and discuss it:

Leveraging Expertise - On The Shoulders Of Giants

[openyourize]

what are these "meaningless" things? If they are occupying your attention, they can't be THAT meaningless. They could possibly point you in the direction toward being more productive.

[geekchic85]

oh, the meaningless things are all just random online things....msn chatting, youtube videos, facebook, etc.

[openyourize]

what are they about?

[Cristal Lilly]

hi geekchic85,

I don't think you necessarily need a coach. sure if you can afford one, that should be speeding things up, but I personally would take a different route. first of all, I'd kick out the notion that this is something I can't solve on my own. I'd decide that while a coach would be nice, I CAN do this by myself.

after I'd decide that, I'd immediately set up an alarm on my cellphone for tomorrow morning at 8. which time you pick really doesn't matter for first hand, what matters is that YOU pick when you get up, to take some control back. then I would set up around 3 more different alarms because I have trouble getting up earlier than I'm used to, and one alarm is just too easy to ignore for me personally whenever I change my getting up time. oh, and I would definitely set them all on maximum volume and pick THE most annoying tone on my cellphone. that way if nothing else works, sheer annoyance will get me up.

if you do this one thing, I think you'll feel a bit more in control and get a little sense of achievment. like a small proof that you can control yourself in some way.

also, you say you like to cook, so I'd advise that you prepare something nice for your breakfast the evening before, like peel and cut up the fruit and arrange it nicely, maybe make some sort of dip for it, or something along those lines. key to that is that you have something to look forward to immediately after you get up, so it's a bit of an incentive to start the day earlier.

also, I think it would be good if you wouldn't try to fix everything at once. instead, atleast for first hand, you can just focus on getting up earlier. if you're feeling brave enough, take one more goal and say that you want to work on your website for a couple of hours every day. then tomorrow, when you get up and have a nice breakfast, go work on your web and when that urge to look at facebook and all those other things comes (and it will come), resist it by deciding that looking at those random things (for an x amount of time that you decide beforehand) will be your prize after you've worked for x hours on the website or when you've completed x sections of your website. then looking at random youtube videos and facebook stops being something you're ashamed of and becomes something you've earned. and it also motivates you to finish that chunk of work.

I think that if you just try sticking by those couple of simple things for a few days, you'll feel a bit more in control and you'll start feeling that life is manageable. cause really, it is.

I hope I've helped alittle to get you started somewhere.

[machoman]

hi geekchic85,
Think Right Now! - Setting and Achieving Goals
Why not try this audio program? I bought this from my friend and Iam listening to it each day before I go to sleep.Seems like it is very effective.

[crescive]

You definitely sound like you have ADHD, inattentive type. I have your exact same problems, it really is a matter of self motivation. I can't force myself to do something unless I FEEL like it, otherwise I just lose focus, my mind drifts, it's very difficult unless I actually have a genuine interest.

You need to work up a way to think about things in a way that would have a profound impact on you. Things like, "Friends are there forever. Your opportunity to go to school that day, however, is only once."

As far as waking up early think about it in this perspective, what is more important in the grand scheme of things, the fact that you were able to sleep in for an extra hour that day or the fact that you got up and went to class/work on time and made a positive impression on your character?

[changeit100]

You have the same problem as MarkLang500 - see his post "Taking Procrastination to a Whole New Level".

The same solution is needed - a NEW JOB! You need a job where you are held responsible for your activities from 9 to 5 so that you are forced into productivity (hopefully in activities you enjoy as you don't want to be stressed and miserable).

Your current job is enabling your procrastination because you can do whatever you like and no-one notices. You may not be able to snap out of daydreaming without some intervention / new structure in your life.

How are you paying the bills without putting in the hours? A year is a long time to be daydreaming, you should change jobs quickly.

Good Luck.

[geekchic85]

hey everyone,

just thought I'd give you all an update on how things are going for me. I've been improving on my productivity a lot lately! Things i have accomplished:

I have been exercising everyday
I have been doing more chores around the house
I have gotten caught up with my administrative responsibilites for work
I have been making a to do list everyday to break down everything i need to do into smaller things so i don't attempt to do everything at once and get overwhelmed. It's been much easier to prioritize this way.
I have been listening to an NLP mp3 called "stop being lazy" I think this has been helping.
I have been spending more time in the kitchen doing what i love, cooking.

I think posting on this board and seeing for myself how disgusting I was motivated me to do better. I think my procrastination was just a bad habit I had developped through my university life, where it was easy to just put things off until last minute i.e. not studying and not going to class, not keeping the place clean.

I completely disagree with those who think I have ADHD, in elementary school and high school I was an amazing student, very competetive and spent a lot of time studying and doing homework. I also had a part time job in school for quite a while, and I enjoyed it. I'm also able to easily concentrate on books, and I do meditate which also requires concentration

I think i just developped bad habits when i went away to university because I didn't know how to structure my life when structure was not put right in front of me, nobody takes attendance in university, and in the long run your grades don't really determine how successful you become in life....as long as you have a personality to wow them in job interviews you're set.

Well, I think all of this carried over into my life as a young professional....I have been out of school for a year and a half now...and I can't believe it took me so long to make the connection..... I also got worse in winter this year after I broke up with my bf, and went through a spiritual awakening, I know the spiritual stuff sounds crazy to a lot of you, but it had a huge effect on me....I figured since structure cannot be handed to me, I have to put the structure in place for myself.

I'm doing this with daily to do lists, and the title of my list is always "things I want to do today" so it doesn't feel like things I HAVE to do, just things I want to accomplish for myself.

As far as the last post about me getting a new job.....there is no way in hell i would trade this job for any other, I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep working for a company as an independent contractor....so basically, as long as I accomplish what the client asks of me, which is x amount of sales over x amount of months I am in the clear. They don't care when I do it, or how I do it.....as long as it gets done. I was just procrastinating, and leaving things until last minute, although things always worked out...it wasn't a healthy way of going about things....it was the same thing I did in university, left all the studying until exam time came.....I would want to shoot myself if I had to work 9-5! I've finally realized I'm in a position where I can be soooo productive due to my flexible hours, so I'm going to take full advantage of it =)

I will keep everyone up to date with my progress!

[Daphne Lim]

Hi Geekchic,

Looks like I chanced on this thread too late to be of any help since you've sorted yourself out, which is GREAT! Congratulations! If you can set yourself back on course this once, you should always be able to do it, which means that you are ok for life.

Hey, since you were thinking of getting a coach, how about taking a fraction of the money you would have spent and rewarding yourself? Reinforcement is the key to making good habits permanent.

Once again, well done!

[geekchic85]

Good idea about rewarding myself with the money i could have used for a coach....I could use some new clothes for the fall =D

[ginkgo]

I have terrible news for you. There is nothing wrong with you. There are lots of people that are doing well like Bill Gates. I have a prophesy for them and you. I am never wrong with this. No matter what you do, you will die. And you cannot take it with you. Are the Pope, monks, priests, Bishops and Cardinals losers. The richer you are, the more money you have when you die.

Who was the richest, most powerful person in modern history? Much richer than Bill Gates. Have you heard of the Louvre museum in France. It has lots of priceless paintings and stuff. It does not have the Hope diamond that is in the Smithonian Inst. It is worth $250 million. But the Louvre has lots of priceless things. This guy owned the Louvre. Palin is governor of Alaska, but she does not own Alaska. This guy owned France. He also owned Poland, Austria and Germany. It was Adolf Hitler and you wish you were more like him?

You are doing what you have been designed to do. To have fun. To enjoy life. That is why you are interested in spiritual thngs. You want to know the purpose of your human life. Maybe you should learn what you are here to do before you decide that you are not doing it. See this on Finding Happiness which addresses you and why you even exist in the first place. People who do not know the purpose of their life say that it is whatever you decide is the puropose. That means that Hitler's purpose was to kill Jews. But I disagree with them.

[geekchic85]

Uhhhh, ok I guess you're right about the whole life purpose thing.....we are not designed to work borring 9-5 jobs this is true. We are here to evolve spiritually and learn lessons so we don't have to come back here again....

But hey, my work pays the bills....I have been working on finding my life purpose. I think it might have something to do with giving people love and relationship advice, because i'm good at that and enjoy listening to people's problems and helping them.....I guess life purpose isn't something we find overnight....I know it will take some time, but I'm getting closer to it.

[geekchic85]

Ok so I ended up waking up late today.....bad bad bad! but it wasn't my fault, I couldn't sleep last night for some odd reason although I felt tired.....so I went online and started reading stuff about web bot predictions...scrary stuff!

Anyway, even though I woke up at 9:45, and didn't manage to get out of the house until around noon, i managed to be very productive, visited 11 clients offices this afternoon. I'm back home and it's only 4:30!! it was a 45 min into my work locoation for the day and 45 min back, so I got soooo much done, and I still have time to clean up, take the trash out, do my admin work, eat a good meal, exercise......and just hang out. woohoo. tomorrow I will be up at 7!

[Cristal Lilly]

congrats geekchic I'm happy for you

[medaille]

Geekchic85,

I'm 25 and I think that this is a challenge that a lot of people our age have. I know that I breezed through college. I went to most of my classes, but I was never really dedicated to the point of developing my own internal motivation for doing the tasks that needed to get done.

When I discovered "spiritual" stuff, it was almost as if petty stuff like doing well in school didn't seem to matter much. Simply existing was all that I needed.

I found that I outgrew that phase although I'm still working on it. Exercise helps too.