Difficulty in Achieving Balance in Life - (School) Work and Play

[WayToTwilight]

Not sure if this is exactly the right section to put this thread in. No problems if it gets moved. This is kind of a long post, just to let you know.

I am in college, it's now Winter Break and I get a couple weeks off. I promised myself I wouldn't waste this time and I'd get around to achieving some goals I had made for myself, most of which are PD related. But I found in my first week off, I couldn't control my gaming urges and played video games for at least 75% of the time during the first week. Once I start getting into a game, it becomes like crack to me. Therefore, I've decided to ban myself from playing games for the entire winter break (and the subsequent academic qtr) and focus purely on my goals.

But as I've done so I realized that my gaming instinct is a lot stronger than I thought... and with no games to play... I feel empty. But at the same time I keep telling myself I need to sacrifice something in order to achieve my goals. I've also started avoiding a lot of my friends because they are all rather negative/cynical people (who are also gaming addicts) that I'd like to spend time away from. Since I live in Nor-Cal (I go to college in So-cal) I don't have many other friends to hang with if I avoid most of my friends here.

It feels like there's a void... I'm not exactly depressed, but at the same time I don't feel a lot of fun or happiness in my life... I'm just kind of an empty shell. I feel like all I am capable of is either working on improving myself or recreation, not a balance of both. I know I'm making PD sound like a bunch of work that I don't want to do... but it is my goal, I am glad I am pursuing them. Essentially I am having trouble finding a new activity that will fill that void but won't end up being another addiction, something that can be a good balance but won't end up tipping my focus in one direction. Any suggestions as to what I can do?

[Akashic_Librarian]

ihae this feeling from tme to time. Consider it like a relapse drug sufferers go through after they quit cold turkey. Its just something you have to grin and bare. It will go.

[Cat Dancer]

Originally Posted by WayToTwilight

get around to achieving some goals I had made for myself, most of which are PD related.

The apparent contradiction is that you've identified these important PD goals you want to achieve, and in the process you've also discovered two more goals:

• to find a healthy nonaddictive source of fun
• to find positive friends to hang out with

But these are also personal development goals that you can use PD techniques to achieve.

There are two ways to look at this. One is, as Steve Pavlina says, you get the most benefit by working on your weakest areas. So it may be that you need to first find healthy sources of fun and positive friends in order to lay a solid foundation to achieve your other goals.

Or, perhaps you have an assumption that to achieve your PD goals, you need to work on them in a non-fun way, in isolation from other people? Then one resolution to your conflict is to achieve these goals by finding positive people to partner with -- to achieve your goals in a fun way.

[WayToTwilight]

Thanks Cat Dancer. That sounds like a good idea. I guess sometimes I'm a bit cynical when it comes to other people and I like to be alone and left to my own devices.

[The Protagonist]

I went from a person who is obssessed with games to a person without any of that BS in to ways:

1. Uninstall all games. I was a PC game fan, so I uninstalled ALL my games, that includes my favorites like BF2, BF1942, CounterStrike, Hitman, ALL Of them had to go.

YOU WILL go through withdrawl, your task is to minimize that withdrawl

2. Find new things to get excited about. For me that was finding new hobbies such as lifting weights and boxing. It will be hard at first, but find new (and more productive things to do) and you will forget about games

* Moderation is key, I still enjoy the occasional round of Halo 2 with friends, but I can just as easily walk away. Try to ban your self from videogames for a 30 day period and see where that takes you

[WayToTwilight]

Yeah unfortunately I broke one of my 30 day trials by playing video games last night, I hadn't played in a while, it was with friends that I hadn't seen in a while (we all recently came back from college for winter break). Uninstalling PC games was easy for me. Getting rid of my VIDEO GAMES though was harder. I had to give one of my games to my brother and tell him to hide it from me =P.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by WayToTwilight

Essentially I am having trouble finding a new activity that will fill that void but won't end up being another addiction, something that can be a good balance but won't end up tipping my focus in one direction. Any suggestions as to what I can do?

Basically I have had your problem all my life. All these years I have just been exchanging one addiction for another. When I am into something, I always throw myself wholeheartedly into it. Then the addiction sticks for years.

Some people call that "passion". I believe that "addiction" may be a more appropriate word. My friends think that I am a highly successful, remarkably versatile and very outstanding person. Actually what I am is highly addicted to whatever I do.

I've reached the point where I am very wary of trying out any new activity, for fear that it will become a new addiction and suck up my life for the next 5 years. Four or five addictions is about the maximum I can suffer at any given time.

[LifeFirst]

I can't stand video games...to me they're the stupidest thing ever. Maybe it's because I suck at them. I only play video games when there's absolutely nothing else to do.