Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Orange · 09-02-2008, 07:30 PM

Today me and a few peopel were having a conversation and somone said somthing that i found really annoying as it was showing such limited beliefs. I wanted to be able to just say somthing great that would some up how the beliefs being shown were so horibley limiteing. Well what she said was. "When we grow up it will be rubish becuase you wont be able to just get up and see your friends becuase you will have a job" Theres so many things wrong with that lol. I could have just said a list of situations where that wouldnt be true but i dont know.. saying things liek that would just reinfource the attitude that created the limited beliefs in the first place. I would have said somthing like "Well if thats what you believe then it will defently be lilke that for you" but yeah.. a bit mean.. So yeah.. any whitty suggestions for when annoying things like this are said?

acordaamor · 09-02-2008, 07:56 PM

I've found that one way you can help people to see the assumptions they're making that may be limiting them in life is to simply listen and reflect back what they've told you. For instance, you might say to your friend, in the example you're talking about, "so you're worried that when you have a job, you won't be able to hang out with your friends as much."

Hearing our own beliefs about how the world works reflected back to us helps us to evaluate those beliefs objectively and determine (1) whether they're true and (2) whether they're serving us. When we do this for others, it helps them feel heard and understood as well.

Best,
Chris
__________________________________
www.purposepowercoaching.com

Jarrod · 09-03-2008, 03:15 AM

I agree with what Chris said.

Life is what you make it.

The Cloud · 09-03-2008, 08:12 PM

Too bad you can't carry this around in your pocket.

xkcd - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - By Randall Munroe

jester01 · 09-03-2008, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange

Today me and a few peopel were having a conversation and somone said somthing that i found really annoying as it was showing such limited beliefs. I wanted to be able to just say somthing great that would some up how the beliefs being shown were so horibley limiteing. Well what she said was. "When we grow up it will be rubish becuase you wont be able to just get up and see your friends becuase you will have a job" Theres so many things wrong with that lol. I could have just said a list of situations where that wouldnt be true but i dont know.. saying things liek that would just reinfource the attitude that created the limited beliefs in the first place. I would have said somthing like "Well if thats what you believe then it will defently be lilke that for you" but yeah.. a bit mean.. So yeah.. any whitty suggestions for when annoying things like this are said?

Life wont be rubbish,if you choose for it to be fun.Every day no matter what task lies ahead of you,you can choose for the day to be fun from the very start.Try it.When your getting ready for the day ahead,e.g. when your finished brushing your teeth.Look your self in the mirror and decide,today is going to be the best day ever!!.Actually say it to yourself in the mirror and mean it.

Brutha · 09-03-2008, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Too bad you can't carry this around in your pocket.

Actually there no reason why you can't print it out and carry it in your pocket.
It might be a nice pattern interrupt

Fullcrum · 09-03-2008, 11:11 PM

I don't know your personal style, how much you've developed it, etc. but I'd just let it go and then talk to them later. Like "Yo, dude, check this out." If you think it will be awkward, it will. So don't be awkward.

It's a totally normal thing to help people out. He's a FRIEND! That's why you're there - to enjoy yourselves and each other and help each other out. There are other things but those are the two main ones, at least for me.

Living2xcess · 09-04-2008, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Too bad you can't carry this around in your pocket.

Perm link this site as your startup page on your PDA so you are ready for any quick witted pieces of wisdom when you need them.

Conan Stevens · 09-04-2008, 06:00 PM

Why not simple start with "why do you think you have to have a time consuming job, or for that matter why do you think you have to have a job at all?"

Simple, effective, questions their beliefs without challenging them.

Stuffed if I'd ever take a 'normal' job

09-02-2008, 07:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Orange Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Cornwall, England Posts: 317	somthing clever to say to somone when showing limited beliefs Today me and a few peopel were having a conversation and somone said somthing that i found really annoying as it was showing such limited beliefs. I wanted to be able to just say somthing great that would some up how the beliefs being shown were so horibley limiteing. Well what she said was. "When we grow up it will be rubish becuase you wont be able to just get up and see your friends becuase you will have a job" Theres so many things wrong with that lol. I could have just said a list of situations where that wouldnt be true but i dont know.. saying things liek that would just reinfource the attitude that created the limited beliefs in the first place. I would have said somthing like "Well if thats what you believe then it will defently be lilke that for you" but yeah.. a bit mean.. So yeah.. any whitty suggestions for when annoying things like this are said?

09-02-2008, 07:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
acordaamor Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 5	Reflection I've found that one way you can help people to see the assumptions they're making that may be limiting them in life is to simply listen and reflect back what they've told you. For instance, you might say to your friend, in the example you're talking about, "so you're worried that when you have a job, you won't be able to hang out with your friends as much." Hearing our own beliefs about how the world works reflected back to us helps us to evaluate those beliefs objectively and determine (1) whether they're true and (2) whether they're serving us. When we do this for others, it helps them feel heard and understood as well. Best, Chris __________________________________ www.purposepowercoaching.com Last edited by acordaamor; 09-02-2008 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Inserting Signature

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09-03-2008, 03:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jarrod Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 541	I agree with what Chris said. Life is what you make it.

09-03-2008, 08:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
The Cloud Family Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 2,203	Too bad you can't carry this around in your pocket. xkcd - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - By Randall Munroe

09-03-2008, 11:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
Fullcrum Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,094	I don't know your personal style, how much you've developed it, etc. but I'd just let it go and then talk to them later. Like "Yo, dude, check this out." If you think it will be awkward, it will. So don't be awkward. It's a totally normal thing to help people out. He's a FRIEND! That's why you're there - to enjoy yourselves and each other and help each other out. There are other things but those are the two main ones, at least for me.

09-04-2008, 06:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
Conan Stevens Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: I travel around the world - currently Thailand Posts: 180	Why not simple start with "why do you think you have to have a time consuming job, or for that matter why do you think you have to have a job at all?" Simple, effective, questions their beliefs without challenging them. Stuffed if I'd ever take a 'normal' job

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums