Help me I am doing very badly in College!!!

[ProjectX]

Very Bad would be an understatement. More like extremely badly. For the third semester in a row I've literally failed over half my courses. I am really really depressed right now. I just feel like a complete loser and getting anxiety attacks. I am surprised I haven't been kicked out of the course. I guess because its a community college and not a university.
I am afraid because I will probably get alot S**t from my family for doing terribly. I don't know whats wrong with me. Its like I am not driven or have that sense of urgency to do well. I just feel so confused. I need some help from someone who had the same experience as me.

[InterfaceLeader]

I think you should start by identifying where you're failing. Talk to your teachers, if you haven't already, and find out what it is that's letting you down.

You also need to ask yourself if you really want to do the course / subject you're studying. Failing because you didn't study or did too much socialising is one thing, but failing when you ARE trying suggests that it may not be the right course.

We all have talents and strengths. You need to find yours, and play to them. Struggling to do something because you 'should' is not going to be any way to succeed. After all, if you're struggling this hard now, how do you propose to use all this knowledge later?

[Evergreen]

Hello there, It could be that you have no passion for the courses you're taking or are not ready for college yet. How about taking the classes that appeal to you or ones that you enjoy for starters, maybe this will help bring your motivation back.

I can relate to how your feeling in some way, however for me its a result of burn-out am currently doing my last course in my MBA.

Good Luck!

[sbdiane]

I agree with Evergreen. Take something interesting to you, not just general ed courses or something like that (unless those are what interest you). If you are interested in the more vocationally oriented courses, use them not just to learn but as opportunities to network with the instructor and others in the department to find a good entry-level job. You don't have to complete a full certificate program to get started. Also, it's not the end of the world to take time off from school and go out and live life. You will have a lot more to bring to the classroom when you return, and that will help you get better grades. I could not understand anything in English lit classes, but once I had been married, struggled with crummy jobs, an alcoholic husband and divorce, I had a lot more insight into the themes they write about in literature so when I returned to college at age 25 I got straight As.

[ar81]

There are several causes I have seen why students fail:
-Improper environment for study (little light, too much noise or distractions)
-Procrastination
-Anxiety caused by family problems or other stressing situations
-Nutrition problems (that reduce IQ of people who grew up in poverty)
-Ineffectife method used to study
-Lack of joy or boredom when studying

[ConquerSelf]

I am a two-time reigning world champion college dropout

Seriously lol.

Haha I started out at a University last fall, and during that semester dove into complete apathy, indifference, and downright depression.

Truthfully, I felt helpless and not in control of myself. I had big plans for college; I was preparing to live the 'college lifestyle' and when I got there I turned inward, never socialized, failed EVERY class LOL, and was so damn confused. I don't know if that's part of growing up, but I had such mixed feelings, lack of desire, and complete laziness and procrastination. Funny story actually, I used to write my english papers the half hour before class started, conjure up some BS artistry, run down print it at the libary and actually get to class on........
nah, I was always like 10 minutes late LOL. But yeh, I did no work and I let people get the best of me.

Now, I was pathetic I'll be the first to admit, completely different than I was in high school. BUT, I now believe that because of how low I fell, I was able to grow that much higher. Long story short, I dropped out of college twice, built myself from the ground up, and I am so freaking proud of how far I've come in just one year.




Let me be the first to tell you to keep your head held high and follow your own intuition. The number one reason I felt so empty was because I was not in control. I wasn't the captain of my own ship. I had become so swayed by everyone else that I let outside influence determine my course of action. Take a very extended break for awhile, and just kick back and relax. There's nothing so serious about life, only what you make it out to be. Take it one day at a time and resist the urge to live life in worry like everyone wants to drag you into. Explore, learn, smile. That's it. But the most important thing to remember is to DEFINE YOURSELF WHATEVER THAT MEANS TO YOU.

[dannielo]

Nice said ConquerSelf, however I would be wary to suggest him to dropout.
We don't know what are his other deep desires or passions, maybe it's not there the problem.

[gr8tocre8]

I have to agree with Evergreen and sbdiane - take a long, hard look at what you are doing and why.

If you were in college studying for something you LOVE, a vocation/job/career that you love so much that you would do it for free if you could, there is no way you would be failing anything.

If you are in college because you feel you "have to", well, there's your explanation. Think about what Abraham/Hicks teaches: FEEL GOOD!
Whatever you're doing in life, if you're not feeling good, that is your higher self letting you know that you are off track.

Take me - I love music. In school, it was difficult for me to study anything but music. So I pursued a career in music, which is going wonderfully.

If you don't love it, you can't expect to be successful at anything in life.

[ConquerSelf]

Originally Posted by dannielo

Nice said ConquerSelf, however I would be wary to suggest him to dropout.
We don't know what are his other deep desires or passions, maybe it's not there the problem.

Thanks, I'm usually terrible at clearly communicating my thoughts so that means alot LOL! I'm not encouraging anyone to dropout, ultimately that's their choice and it is fairly important to most people. Always THINK things through.

[macabhay]

Nicely said by all those who have responded.

There is a classic question, "If you had 10 billion dollars in your bank account, what would you do in your life?"

Very basic but I would say that if you spent a good amount of timing really pondering and churning this question within your mind and intelligence, you could really make some progress.

On another note, everything starts with desire, every situation that anybody is in, is due to some desire that led them there, directly or indirectly. If you can become VERY CLEAR about what you want, your innermost desire, and keep your consciousness there, rather than in day to day strenuous activities, you just might see real and lasting motivation in your life.

[gigemags1155]

I actually have been reading some on these forums without being a member... however your post made me join so that maybe another person's experience could help you through your tough time. I will try to keep it short. I went to college and had a very tough time my first semester. I was set up with my parents paying the bills and all I had to do was go to school. With my new found free time I did all the things other than study. I found that when I got a job and had to be accountable for allocating my time to work, go to school, and study my grades jumped almost 2.0 in GPA. I was making D's and went to B's. I didn't do anything all that different except I didn't have so much time to waste and procrastinate so I had to get things done in the time that I was not busy. Maybe think of a way to really allocate your time so that you will be forced to accomplish your studies and the time supply will not seem endless. Just something that worked for me. i hope that you can figure it out and get your degree because it is one of the few items in life that no one can take away from me! Have a great day and good luck.

[Bharat Keshwala]

I was in the same situation not so long ago, I can tell you what I did, but what I did may not be what you should do.

I was happy at my college, but I chose to drop out and go to a crappier college so I could do some of the toughest courses available which happened to be mainly memory orientated, when I am more of a thinker.

2 months into these courses I am depressed as hell, always on the verge of failing, teachers threatening to kick me out, while I'm working my ass of and still not doing well. And what the hell was I going to tell my family? It was hard enough to tell them I'm dropping out of a good college, now I have to tell them I need to drop out again?

In the end I told my mom, she had already noticed my behavior was very different, but once she herd what the situation was she was ok with it, sympathetic actually.


This might not be the best thing for you to do though, it depends on a few things.
1. whats the problem at the minute? too hard/ too lazy e.t.c.
2. if your too lazy, isit too late to turn it around?
3. if you cant turn it around, whats better staying and failing or leaving?
4. if you drop out what are you going to do next? work/ come back next year

What ever you do make sure you do it for yourself, if your family flip out, its because they want whats best for you, or at least what they think is best.

I recommend you leave now, come back and do something your good at and interested in.

Thats what I did but I got a reality check while I was out of education, I got a taste of the real world, and I mean right at the bottom of the real world doing really crappy jobs for a year because I couldn't find anything else. This gave me the drive I needed as well, I wasn't ever too bad, but I always thought "owe well if college doesn't work I'll just get an average 9-5", now thats not even an option to me.

Good luck with whatever you do, make sure you look at the pros and cons, and if its the right thing to do I'm sure your parents will be slightly p'd off, but understanding.

[aikay77]

Hi,

Do you love being there? You see the same thing happened to me and I simply quit college in my final year! S

ince then I've found peace, and i'm finally pursuing and doing what I love.

Sure I got my family hunting me down with words but I braved them all. the truth is for some people college is not it. I don't know if this is you but think about it very well. if you hate being there, I'm afraid to stop failing you need to get out and look for what you really want to do.

Think about it carefully befopre you decide. And if thats what you want to do, develop a thick skin because the criticisms will surely come.

Cheers,

Ronald

[ProjectX]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I definitely know I am not 100% passionate about the course I am taking (Business) and I don't know if its right for me. I know I prefer a more creative career but I also want to make lots of money so I am quite conflicted about this. So the area of career choice is still very much in conflict for me. I want to do filming/scriptwriting but its also a very unfamiliar route for me because I know nothing about the film industry but I am very amazing by films and movies hopefully write my own movie and direct it. But it seems like a very unlikely scenario. The reason I chose business is because its the safest route and also I can reach my goal of becoming rich.

Hi,

Do you love being there? You see the same thing happened to me and I simply quit college in my final year! S

ince then I've found peace, and i'm finally pursuing and doing what I love.

Sure I got my family hunting me down with words but I braved them all. the truth is for some people college is not it. I don't know if this is you but think about it very well. if you hate being there, I'm afraid to stop failing you need to get out and look for what you really want to do.

Think about it carefully befopre you decide. And if thats what you want to do, develop a thick skin because the criticisms will surely come.

Cheers,

Ronald

I'm afraid my current situation is a bit complicated. I am studying in Canada on a Student Visa and my uncle and aunt are supporting me because my parents are broke/divorced. So basically they're giving me free tuition and being very selfless. I don't want to disappoint them. I'm afraid if I drop out or fail I will get kicked out and my aunt will stop supporting me financially. I absolutely love Canada and want to reside here. If I drop out I have no prospects and no money and living with my parents which I dread. It feels like I'm between a rock and a hard place. Sometimes I'm so afraid of the worst case scenario I'd rather kill myself than face it.

[Razvan]

Hi ProjectX,

I've read your story here and I think that there are some things you can do to turn your life around. I hope this helps you. Here it goes:

1. Never, ever, ever give up! No matter what difficulties you come across, never give up! Difficulties and problems have at least one solution if not more. They are here for the sole reason to help you find a way out for yourself, to make you think and make you use your mind to find solutions. Any time you have a problem don't say: "Why is this happening to me? This is awful!" instead say "What can I learn from this opportunity? How can I turn this problem into something good for me?" Don't ask "Why?" ask "How?" It's a huge difference for you life.

2. Have a talk with your uncle and aunt and tell them what you really want to do. Tell them that you love them and really appreciate the help they are giving you. Tell them that you hate the fact that you are disappointing them (maybe they are not so disappointed as you think Before talking to them, write down the main points that you want to discuss with them and possible responses from them. This will help you to be able to react to what they may say and make a compelling case for yourself. Also, write down what goals you have for this talk. What do you want to get out of this discussion? Maybe you want them to know that you love them, to find a way that they could help you in following your dreams (ask them: when you were my age, did you have a dream? Did you want to do something that you really enjoyed doing? find out why did they do it or why did they didn't do it after all and find ways to make they emphasize with you and your dreams).

3. Start looking for a job. Maybe you could look for a job on the internet. A job that requires only a computer and internet connection maybe. Think about it. Start a blog about you passion. Put some google adsense ads and other ads and start making some money. Think of ways to make money so that you can support yourself in Canada. Stop complaining and searching for excuses. Start looking for a way out. Ask yourself a lot of questions and write down the answers. You have to be responsable and act so that your dreams may become reality.

4. Read about people that have done what you are trying to do. Talk to them if possible and ask for their help. Most of them will help you.

5. Find ways to motivate yourself. We all need motivation every single day.
Put up a board on one of your walls and put some images with money there so that you are reminded that you have to make money and you will start finding solutions to that. Also write besides the money picture, the exact amount you need and want to make. If you can't put up a board, put up a background on your computer, write it down on a piece of paper and look at it daily. Just do it. It will work. It worked for millions of people, and most of them where in situations far worst that you are in. And it still worked.

Read this page to get motivated RazvanDobre.com Blog: motivation

6. Start reading more and more about what you are interested in. Read everything there is about that. Talk to people that are also interested about that and post some goals that you want to achieve in this area. Things like: I want to work for such a company and how can I do that?

7. Realize that if you want to thank your uncle and aunt for the help they gave you, you have to take responsibility over your entire life. No one will come to the rescue. You are your own master. No one can do it for you. Start setting goals in every area of your life. Stop doing things that make you lose time and aren't giving you something in return. Commit yourself on doing only the things that are bringing you closer to your goals and dreams.

I hope this helps you and that you get to work to change your life around!

I embrace you,
Razvan Dobre

You can contact me at ask-razvan@razvandobre.com for more help. I'm always glad to help!

[BalancedExistence]

As with many others who have already responded I have been through much what you are going through now. I also was studying business while working full time in a chartered accountancy firm. Much like you it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. Though I did see it as a stepping-stone. Something solid to get under me which I could always fall back on. Then I caught glandular fever, which ended up turning into chronic fatigue. Eventually I lost my job and essentially failed uni.

After spending some time focused 100% on regaining my health I returned to university. Only this time I had a lot more life experience behind me. Much of what I went through is irrelevant here but one specific thing is.

Right before I started back into uni I came across an exercise for motivation, which I worked through. The result? I completed 17 subjects in just 15 months getting results that anyone would be more then happy with.

You can check out the exercise I used and what I learnt regarding what motivation is and how it works in my article How to Stop Procrastinating, Get Motivated & Achieve.

If you want to get through your university studies then do the exercise described in the article. There is nothing special about me. I just learned from others that we can program ourselves to achieve whatever we want. It worked for me and it will work for you.

I wish you the very best for the future.


Stephen

[Lena Carpenter]

Hi ProjectX, my situation was a bit different, but I can relate to what you are going through. I did well in community college, and even when I transferred to the four year university, I was still doing OK at first. Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't make myself complete the assignments. I hated the reading I had to do for my political science and economics classes. Despite being unhappy, I pushed myself, thinking that I can just will myself to do what I need to do to complete my course of study. I justified it in my head, that I'm way too far into the major to turn back, and that I don't have to like it, it's just a degree, that will help me get a job. Most importantly, my parents were invested in my education, how could I let them down? I learned since than,that it's not a bright idea to ignore your true feelings. They come out one way or another. I'm glad that I didn't fall into a major depression and start taking drugs or something. I did, however, do lots of damage to my GPA, as I kept taking classes, even after failing a couple. Now, what I wish I would have done, and what I would advise you to do, is to stop and ask yourself what needs adjusting for you to be happy. Take some time, like a week, to do nothing, but think what direction you want your life to go. You might not figure out exactly the course you want to take, but at least you can figure out what's making you miserable. Communicate your concerns to instructors, relatives, and college counselors. I felt so alienated, thinking that nobody could help me. I was too scared to tell my parents I wasn't doing well, too embarrassed to talk with instructors about my failing grades, and too proud to admit I needed some emotional counseling. Talk to people, and if the first person can't help you, talk to second, and third, and so on, until you get the help you need.

Enjoy your life,

Lena

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by BalancedExistence

You can check out the exercise I used and what I learnt regarding what motivation is and how it works in my article How to Stop Procrastinating, Get Motivated & Achieve

I did the exercises in the link you posted;

1. What are my goals?

-To be rich. So I can have the freedom to do what I want and no longer burdened by money problems.
-To have many girlfriends. Because its fun.
-To Travel the world.
-To creatively express myself and create something amazing that will inspire people and me.

2. What is important to me?
-My Body
-Experiencing New Things (Travel etc)
-Money

[ar81]

I discovered that administration has been by tradition a very non creative career. And university forces you to accept textbooks as the ultimate truth.

But once in the street, textbooks are just not enough. I have been in need of being creative, for the lack of creativity brings a slower innovation pace of business.

I would dare to say that it is one of the most retrograde fields of knowledge among many. This is why simple ideas like Google or Amazon bring so much money.

I have learned that user friendly products and services are very tasty for customers, but unfortunately companies insist in doing things in the wrong way because administrators have square minded ideas.

You can see Accolade that released Star Control games which were game of the year, and suddenly they want a cheaper budget for more work of developers, so developers rejected the project and it was assigned to cheaper and unexperienced developers and the result was a crappy sequel.

With the first Atari company same happened. Atari was a very innovative company without working hours, people worked because they wanted, but then a corporation bought them and the square minded rules put creativity down and company broke and for some time it was thought that videogames were dead, until Nintendo came.

So the main obstacle for creativity is not administration, but some square minded people who believe that playing golf makes them good leaders.

[mati]

hi man
I had the same experience this year, since I started this year,Im in the third year of university and I thought this will be the year that I would consolidate as a responsable, intelligent and great student but not, i failed 3 of my 6 classes, I stoped doing thing I like in order to have more time for tudy and I was getting worst, I studied as never and I got bad marks as never, I think I was depressed and extremely anxius and nervous.
even in my week of vacations before starting second semester I culdnt relax because of some problems

Now I started second semester, I did the silva method course and I think it helped me to relax more, and Im feeling alot better, I try not to be overwelmed.the thing is that I now have faringitis an it got worst and it was all for low of defenses, result of my long tension period.

So if maybe I cant give you a real advise because Im just going thru this process I can tell you if you worry too much the only thing you are doing is getting less close to your goal, and if you keep this tension you will pay the price haha sound a little scary but try to keep building your self steem step by step,doing excersice, enjoy your fmily , your friends, think about what you want in life..all this as much as you can but keep studying.

best wishes
(sorry, english not perfect)

[mplatts]

College is tough once you start failing - you start labeling yourself as a failure and it becomes a reoccurring thought. I think you should forget your results and focus on time management. Set goals and deadlines and see how good you are at meeting all the deadlines. By completing goals and deadlines you should begin gaining confidence slowly but surely. Getting the ball rolling is the tough part. I wrote a couple of organization articles on my site (see signature) if you want to have a look.

[MisterEThoughts]

Man! Don't worry about it. I believe we go through life experimenting things in order to learn from those mistakes. I did not do a great job either, when I was in a community college. Therefore, after I finished up the 2 years with an English degree. I quit and got a full time job. After some time of realization I figured that I would never feel comfortable working for the "Man." After it hit me, I found out that I needed to start a business. The point here is simple... Don't worry!!! Relax and search within you to figure out if this is what you really want to do. If not, then focus on things you do want.