I've taken procrastination to a whole new level

[marklang500]

I have a procrastination problem. It is really starting to have an effect on my work, my prestige with my co-workers, my reliability with my boss, and with the clients. I may lose my job if I don't get this under control.

The thing is, in a way I've been developing and honing my procrastination skills for years now. It is now to the point where I literally feel paralyzed at work.

If you divide my brain up into peices, it feels as though the sections that focus on work and make progress just don't work anymore. LIke the blood just won't flow there anymore...I go to work everyday with the attitude of "hit it hard and I can make a bunch of ground up." But then I don't. I sit and browse internet sites, play backgammon, or just ANYTHING but tackle the mountain of work that has accumulated.

It's not like I don't do anything. I do things when other people in the office are needing me. But when it is just me all alone with MY projects....nothing gets done.

I really don't know what to do. I don't understand why the end of the day keeps getting here....day after day....then suddenly it's friday and I have to BS another timesheet.....this is bad. HELP!!!

[lasti]

Do you actually like your job?
Do you have this procrastination problem also in another area of your life?

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by marklang500

I have a procrastination problem. It is really starting to have an effect on my work, my prestige with my co-workers, my reliability with my boss, and with the clients. I may lose my job if I don't get this under control.

The thing is, in a way I've been developing and honing my procrastination skills for years now. It is now to the point where I literally feel paralyzed at work.

If you divide my brain up into peices, it feels as though the sections that focus on work and make progress just don't work anymore. LIke the blood just won't flow there anymore...I go to work everyday with the attitude of "hit it hard and I can make a bunch of ground up." But then I don't. I sit and browse internet sites, play backgammon, or just ANYTHING but tackle the mountain of work that has accumulated.

It's not like I don't do anything. I do things when other people in the office are needing me. But when it is just me all alone with MY projects....nothing gets done.

I really don't know what to do. I don't understand why the end of the day keeps getting here....day after day....then suddenly it's friday and I have to BS another timesheet.....this is bad. HELP!!!

Years ago I had a similar issue, but I labeled mine as "why don't I feel motivated?" It later became "why aren't I using my potential."

Anyway, long story short, I'm on the other end of that, and the problem is solve.

So, what are you in store for? A lot of work.

I'm not kidding. Be prepared to invest an unreasonable amount of time into dealing with this, since this isn't just about work. No, no, I can guarantee you that this block goes much deeper than that.

I suggest you stop trying to effort your way through work you don't want to do, and become aware of the block itself. Explore it deeply, and it will lead you interesting places.

Steve's truth, love, power model is great for that, but you need a backing of personal development experience to apply it effectively without his book.

And to get you started on this path, I'm not going to tell you where you can find info about that model. You will need to be resourceful. (Hint: Steve's blog and searching Steve's forum post history. Remember: truth, love, power.) What is important here is not the actual resource, but that you actually shift to a state where you're ready to look, not just stare at the problem you have and go "uuuuggh."

[marklang500]

I like my profession. I don't like my job. I think it is this place. I could always quit and go somewhere else. (something my wife suggests I do)

I halfway fear that I will get into a new job and then just get fired for procrastinating. At least here, I have my methods. I know the people around me and how to keep them thinking that I am working. I like to think that with a better team I wouldn't procrastinate, so I should go somewhere where teamwork is more developed.

I do procrastinate a bit in other areas. But I think it is just a matter of time. At home, we are ALWAYS busy with stuff to do, so I procrastinate balancing the checkbook. That sort of thing. At least there, I have halfway good reasons. Here at work, my excuses are just BS. My excuses are, "I couldn't get my brain to focus on that for more than 10 minutes for every hour of internet time"

Even now, I am putting off work for "personal development".

[marklang500]

Thanks Bruce. I'll probably put that off though.

Seriously, I'm going to try to make some time over the weekend, AWAY from work, to work on this issue. I'll start with your suggestion.

[Angela]

Mark, your title made me laugh.

Have you ever read Stephen Covey's stuff on the four quadrants of the time management matrix? I read this when I was suffering in the last days of my unloved job, and it really struck me. Covey talks about how so many jobs consist of work in quadrants #1 (urgent and important) and #3 (urgent and not important), and not enough time in #2 (important and not urgent). So the foundations aren't upheld, and everything slides more and more into urgency, until you just burn out and end up spending all your time in #4 (not important and not urgent) as a subconscious survival mechanism.

I worked for months trying to get my boss to see the importance of doing #2 stuff, but he heaped so much #1 and #3 work on me that the foundation stuff just never got done (and he wouldn't hire anyone to help). A job that I had once loved devolved into a loathed job. I tried and tried, and eventually became depressed and powerless and completely unmotivated. When drugs didn't help, I realized that my mission was actually in conflict with that of my boss, and one day I woke up and realized it was time to let this job go, for the highest good of both me and my boss.

And I am so glad! I could have stayed for years, miserable and paralyzed. Phew!!!

[jenlili]

In my experience, you can bs your way through work forever, but if you start going in late...even if you make up the hours by working through lunch or staying late or working weekends...once you start not showing up on the boss' schedule, you're sunk. Mark, don't do that to yourself. Getting fired, when you know it's coming and you just let it come...OY!

What I have found is that as soon as I've mastered a job, it's too boring to continue, no matter how I feel about the actual "work," the people, the atmosphere; as soon as I'm bored I quit showing up...well my brain does...the part, like you said, that focuses on work. I can't do ANYTHING boring or tedious. (Well I can, it's just really really really hard.)

My point is: your wife is right, you should probably get a different job in the same profession. For now. As a first step. Get out from under your current "mountain."
AND
Bruce is also right. You'll need to get to the root of the problem. It takes, as he said, an unreasonable amount of time. If you're lucky you won't get bored with introspection and sick of yourself and back into the same ol' job just to put food on the table. (Well, maybe that isn't luck. I wouldn't actually know. I'm not a recovering slacker like Bruce.)

Hang in there and Good luck.

[z1freeride]

Procrastination is just a symptom.... it's not your real problem.

[ellie]

Good thread. What do you do when you procrastinate with everything?

I'd love to get understand why I procrastinate with everything. I never used to be this bad.

[Stephen]

Can I be devil's advocate for a second please......

You know, some people blame procrastination when the reality is they're just bone idle.

[ellie]

Oh I had to look up bone idol!

Yes very true, I am lazy...but I would like to get to the root cause I feel like somehow it will make thing better if I understand why - ha ha!

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by ellie

Oh I had to look up bone idol!

Yes very true, I am lazy...but I would like to get to the root cause I feel like somehow it will make thing better if I understand why - ha ha!

Looking to the root cause of laziness REALLY IS taking procrastination to a new unprecedented level.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Stephen

Looking to the root cause of laziness REALLY IS taking procrastination to a new unprecedented level.

Hmm I think understanding why might help

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by ellie

Hmm I think understanding why might help

Yes, I'm with you. I'm a deep thinker myself, my Uni Degree was in Philosophy. But sometimes, you just need to get on with things.

If you don't believe me ask Buridan's Ass.

[marklang500]

I don't think I'm lazy. When I am at home, I do procrastinate some things, like balancing the checkbook. But I can't get enough of hard physical labor. I'll get up and paint the house. Or I'll take the doors off of the interoirs and paint them all in the garage. I'll gut an entire room and remodel it. I work out 3 times a week.

Maybe I shouldn't be in a thinking profession. I am a very addictable person. I spent highschool hooked on pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. I haven't been hooked on any of that for over 10 years. I quit smoking slowly and never picked it up again. I am very p[roud of beating all of my addictions.

But lo and behold, I AM addicted to some things still. I feel like I am addicted to avoiding my work. I get addicted to browsing the internet. I get addicted to working on increasing my "rating" in the msn games room. I get addicted to "trying to find the truth about God". I get addicted to parenting, and finding out all the best ways to do everything. Like parenting, and golf, and building muscle, or whatever I am addicted to at the time, I get addicted to trying to do it better than anyone. But once I get it, I move on to a new addiction.

(geesh, I must have typed the word addicted a hundred times just then! )

One thing I'm not, is lazy. But everything I do seems to require some sort of competition with some sense of possibilty that I can be the best at it. Once I figure out that I can't be the best at it, I move on. SOmetimes, I DO get to be the best at it, but then the task is done, and I move on. Like my guitar. I have been playing guitar for like 30 years, and the last few years I haven't touched it. It's like, I can play just about anything. But because I'll never "make it big" there is no need to play. Even though my frineds tell me I am amazing. Why bother? I guess I never really wanted to be good at music. I just wanted to be RECOGNIZED as being good at music. Or something like that. I don't know. There's some more insight anyway for ya'll to analyze.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by marklang500

I don't think I'm lazy. When I am at home, I do procrastinate some things, like balancing the checkbook. But I can't get enough of hard physical labor. I'll get up and paint the house. Or I'll take the doors off of the interoirs and paint them all in the garage. I'll gut an entire room and remodel it. I work out 3 times a week.

Maybe I shouldn't be in a thinking profession. I am a very addictable person. I spent highschool hooked on pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. I haven't been hooked on any of that for over 10 years. I quit smoking slowly and never picked it up again. I am very p[roud of beating all of my addictions.

But lo and behold, I AM addicted to some things still. I feel like I am addicted to avoiding my work. I get addicted to browsing the internet. I get addicted to working on increasing my "rating" in the msn games room. I get addicted to "trying to find the truth about God". I get addicted to parenting, and finding out all the best ways to do everything. Like parenting, and golf, and building muscle, or whatever I am addicted to at the time, I get addicted to trying to do it better than anyone. But once I get it, I move on to a new addiction.

(geesh, I must have typed the word addicted a hundred times just then! )

One thing I'm not, is lazy. But everything I do seems to require some sort of competition with some sense of possibilty that I can be the best at it. Once I figure out that I can't be the best at it, I move on. SOmetimes, I DO get to be the best at it, but then the task is done, and I move on. Like my guitar. I have been playing guitar for like 30 years, and the last few years I haven't touched it. It's like, I can play just about anything. But because I'll never "make it big" there is no need to play. Even though my frineds tell me I am amazing. Why bother? I guess I never really wanted to be good at music. I just wanted to be RECOGNIZED as being good at music. Or something like that. I don't know. There's some more insight anyway for ya'll to analyze.

Laziness is a mental inactivity not a physical one.

[marklang500]

Laziness is a mental inactivity not a physical one.

Oh, Ok, fine. From the previous posters using the term "bone idle" it was sounding very physical to me. In fact the etymology of the term bone idle is clearly a physical one.

But you are right. I use distractions, like physical labor or brain candy (internet, backgammon, religion) to avoid the long focus of long problem solving that I've done a hundred times before in my job. I know I can solve the tasks at hand, but they take a very long period of time to do, and I've done that stuff before and so it just is no fun. I think I'm a people person.

Sometimes I think I would have made a good psycologist or psychiatrist or social worker or teacher. But it's too late for that stuff now.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by marklang500

Oh, Ok, fine. From the previous posters using the term "bone idle" it was sounding very physical to me. In fact the etymology of the term bone idle is clearly a physical one.

But you are right. I use distractions, like physical labor or brain candy (internet, backgammon, religion) to avoid the long focus of long problem solving that I've done a hundred times before in my job. I know I can solve the tasks at hand, but they take a very long period of time to do, and I've done that stuff before and so it just is no fun. I think I'm a people person.

Sometimes I think I would have made a good psycologist or psychiatrist or social worker or teacher. But it's too late for that stuff now.

Mark, why is it too late. I am changing careers now. And I am 40!

[jenlili]

And even saying that in this forum is risky...maybe you were meant to be a spirit guide, and your current incarnation is part of your training!

Originally Posted by Stephen

Mark, why is it too late. I am changing careers now. And I am 40!

Mark, Stephen is right about that. I know a man who worked for the state for like 25 years. Towards the end he hated the bureaucracy so much he could barely go to work. He could have retired early, but he chose not to. Instead, he spent weekends working for his brother, a general contractor, while he waited for full retirement benefits. By the time he was fully retired from his state job, he was ready for the licensing and registration tests. Now he's a licensed general contractor and electrician, and I think plumber too. He's self employed, works for money some of the time and volunteers with Habitat for Humanity (he LOVES that) one or two days a week.

[jenlili]

Originally Posted by ellie

Oh I had to look up bone idol!

Yes very true, I am lazy...but I would like to get to the root cause I feel like somehow it will make thing better if I understand why - ha ha!

I saw your post before Stephen's. A bone idol would be completely different from bone idle...thought it might have something to do with worshiping skeletons. (Actually, I thought of something else first, but I don't want to type that here. http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/i...es/redface.gif)


Ellie, if Stephen's "Lazy" model doesn't work for you, check out "The Myth of Laziness" and "A Mind at a Time" by Mel Levine. Though the focus of these books is on school kids, even if you didn't have school troubles, you might learn something about yourself.

I find "you're just lazy" to be truly ineffective in getting anyone motivated. I've had to read a lot of stuff like Levine's, because my brilliant 13 year old won't do schoolwork. Fortunately, he was articulate and polite, so his teachers always wanted to help him and work with him. Unfortunately he's in middle school now: more students, more teachers, more work, and that surly middle school attitude (sometimes referred to in boys as testosterone poisoning).

Though I had no trouble in school because I was able to mask my lack of focus back when I knew everything, I can no longer fake it. I do desk jobs much the way Mark has described it. I'm learning that a lot of what applies to my son applies to me too. Sometimes it makes me break down and cry. (Mostly it just makes me really angry, but that's another topic.)

To be told on a regular basis that I'm lazy, irresponsible, unreliable, and immature only makes me want to give up. So while I'm willing to read Steve's articles on motivation and self-discipline, I have to filter them through what I've learned about brain structure and brain chemistry and how it all functions. And a year from now, I'll have to read them again, because I'll have a completely different perspective on things (please, someone tell me that's true).

Well, I don't know who Buridan or his ass are, but "sometimes you just have to get on with things," so go ahead and find out why your motivation has dissipated or where it's gone.

[Lauxa]

Hey there Mark, here are some affirmations around productivity that you could try:

- I am productive
- I pull my own weight
- I am disciplined
- I am efficient
- I am motivated

Can't say these things to yourself with a straight face? For a twist, check out my negative affirmations thread.

[Angela]

Mark, what is your life's purpose (or your most valued values) and how does that match up with the purpose and values of the company and your boss? Are they in cahoots, or do they conflict?

[openyourize]

I know EXACTLY EXACTLY what you are talking about, this was happening to me too at my job. I definitely suggest using steve's truth love power model for this as well to get to the root of this is. That is what I did.

I kept getting down on myself for being such a slacker, which just made me more of a slacker. What I REALLY thought was ridiculous though, was that I could actually get away with being such a slacker. What kind of company allows that? better yet, never even notices?! even further, they would constantly tell me what a great asset I am to the company and that I do such a great job! I was like, REALLY!? You seriously have absolutely no clue what I do at my desk all day, you IDIOTS!!! I had totally lost respect for that company.

Anyway, when I considered the truth love power model, (man I cant WAIT for the book to come out!) I realized I was avoiding doing my work cuz what i REALLY wanted to do couldnt be done there. what i REALLY wanted to do was write, and come up with ways for the company to run more efficiently (in the earlier years of my job there, when i actually thoroughly enjoyed it, i did this all the time, and I was heard and made many changes, but after they restructured they didnt want me to do that anymore, they just wanted me to place orders and crap.) so i decided to quit. i couldnt live up to my potential there. I quit, and now I am just temping while I focus on writing my book and am planning some possible schooling for business management.

so think about it and yeah, never EVER EVER EVER say its too late for anything, who cares how old you are. Who cares what people will say. Everyone told me I was crazy for walking out on my "career" so suddenly and with nothing lined up, but I am doing just fine and am happier than i have been in years cuz i know i am now following my TRUE purpose!

[marklang500]

Yeah, I know it isn't too late to change careers. But geesh, I have no clue as to how I could possibly make ends meet without sticking to my current career. I have a stay home wife and two kids in private school. That's bunches of $$$. And I really don't make very much money as it is.

So when I say it's too late, I am speaking of terms of my responsibility to my family to provide.

Mark, what is your life's purpose (or your most valued values) and how does that match up with the purpose and values of the company and your boss? Are they in cahoots, or do they conflict?

No, my boss is clearly a different cat than me when it comes to values. My wife will hardly stop in if he's in the office. He's the kind of guy that shakes his head in disbelief as he walks by when you are making copies of personal stuff over the lunch hour. Or if one of our emplyees is taking a break at breaktime, he acts like he's doing him a big favor by letting him take that break. I really don't like the way he treats people behind thier backs, and occasionally in front of them. It speaks volumes about his level of respect for humans. We are not worth much unless we are doing our jobs perfectly. (how I manage to skate is a mystery....I think my likability is the glue that keeps everyone around here coming in to work. He must put some value on that, because it sure ain't my productivity!)

[openyourize]

ever thought about the possibility that changing careers could grant you the opportunity to make MORE money than you already do now? and enjoy your life more...

[ar81]

I wonder if you could procrastinate procrastination, so you can do things now and after that you procrastinate.

[z1freeride]

I tend to procrastinate things that aren't possible for me to do in a given moment.

For example: research papers. I'm capable of doing them over several days or weeks. But when I have the thought in my head that I have to work on a paper and get it done, I procrastinate because I simply cannot do it at that given moment. If I create a small goal and not focus on the result, then work flows more smoothly.

Perfectionism also increases my procrastinations.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by marklang500

No, my boss is clearly a different cat than me when it comes to values. My wife will hardly stop in if he's in the office. He's the kind of guy that shakes his head in disbelief as he walks by when you are making copies of personal stuff over the lunch hour. Or if one of our emplyees is taking a break at breaktime, he acts like he's doing him a big favor by letting him take that break. I really don't like the way he treats people behind thier backs, and occasionally in front of them. It speaks volumes about his level of respect for humans. We are not worth much unless we are doing our jobs perfectly. (how I manage to skate is a mystery....I think my likability is the glue that keeps everyone around here coming in to work. He must put some value on that, because it sure ain't my productivity!)

No wonder you are resisting! Here you are, a man who values respect and support of well-being, and you are working at a job in service to someone who is committed to disrespect and disdain. Yuck. It sure sounds familiar!

What are you going to do?

[marklang500]

My plan is to first fix my procrastination problem WITHIN this office. Once I am reinvented as the capable worker I used to be, I will have the power to leave. I have to beat this first. But in so doing, I will be able to get out. Also, in so doing, I will be able to get my mountain of work caught up, so that I won't feel as though I am abandoning my co-workers (that I like) with my leftover crap.

Become a good worker again, finish my work, then go work somewhere else. That's my plan. I'm guessing it will probably take 6 to 12 months. (that's the nature of this business) But now I have made it a concrete goal.

(I actually have a standing offer from one of the competitors in town. Everyone knows everyone, so it will be wierd. That's another thing that's kept me where I am)

I will only be reading and posting at the end of each work day from here on out. I have to get my 30 day challenge done, and productivity UP.

[ctutt]

I think this is some sort of virus going around because I have the same problem! And, like you, it's been building up for years! I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but let's hope we get some good advice.

Thanks for making this post.
Charles Tutt