Building social skills using chat rooms/ims?

[FutureBillionaire]

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[Cassie]

Are you able to get a license right now? And save towards a car? When you say you don't have a phone, do you mean a cell phone or any phone?

I use Vonage ($30/month) for my house phone, and I'm also one of those freaks that doesn't carry a cell phone. Anyway, if you have some type of phone, I would concentrate on getting your license as top priority.

As for girls, just say hi to them! Be cute and charming. Get them to blush and giggle. Tease them or pull their hair, or whatever you boys do nowadays. You know you can do it!

You can try chat rooms as well. But it might be some really creepy old fart guy you're talking to, so there are dangers.

Try different things to see what works.

[Cassie]

Haha. Well, it would get my attention if some dude did that to me.

(Ow! * smack!! *)

This is what happens when it's late. I get silly.

Seriously though, good luck with everything. Just take your goals a little bit at a time. You'll probably feel fabulous once you get your license. Just have faith and initiative, and everything else will fall into place. Try different approaches. If one thing fails, learn from it and try something new.

I think a mistake some people make is that they get too discouraged after failure and give up. Once you learn to embrace your failures and realize they're actually blessings in helping you find the right path, it's a bit less stressful and a lot easier to deal with.

Be innovative.

[thef0x]

Originally Posted by FutureBillionaire

Pull their hair? lol, I'm in my 20ies

can you imagine me just pulling someones hair? lol

anyway, thanks for the other advice.

There is nothing sexier than pulling a girl's hair when it's appropriate, at least for me.

Shoot for that image.

-D.

[Smiley]

My opinion is that building social skills via the 'Net will lead to...greater social skills...on the Internet.

Ray Birdwhistell said that non-verbal communication makes up 65% of total communication. Cosmo Kramer told Jerry Seinfel that non-verbal makes up 94% of the total. What the real number is, I have no idea. But it's a lot.

If you're looking to build one-on-one or live group social skills, I suggest that you'll be best-served by actually participating in activities that include other live, present people

[smallstar]

Congratulations! You are bound to succeed, but it will require enormous time, and you'll have to build your confidence over and over again. You don't need a phone, just say that you don't like talking on the phone to strangers (that's what I did anyway, even if I had a phone by myself). I also don't have a car, since we have a good public transport here.

The best thing in net dating is that you are free to experiment and act creatively. You can try different styles, different approaches and meeting with different people that you would not even think about meeting in normal life.

Another good thing is that if you don't meet a lot of girls in your normal life, you can still get 2-3 or more dates a week if you invest enough time in looking for partners in the net.

The most important thing is that you should never lose your confidence. Net dating is statistical, at best. Most of the approaches will fail however smart and attractive you are. My rules of thumb are (and I started from about the zero level):
* answer 5 posts => get one date
* get to 5 dates => one with mutual interest
When you are up to this point, you can decide if you want to be friends, just to get laid or to try a serious relationship. If you try a relationship:
* try 5 relationships => meet your true love
These are naturally awfully coarse rules of thumb, and just to demonstrate the order of magnitude and number of work what you have to do. From 28 dates, I had two short relationships, two relationships of three months, two close friends who I'm still meeting regularly, and finally found my true love from the real life (but my new skills helped a lot in doing that).

[andrew]

Yeah it's okay if you're really horible with people, but chat rooms aren't very in nowadays.

If there's something you want to practice in a chatroom, great, but remember it's nothing like real life. I mean, if you can't walk up to somebody and say "hey how are you", then maybe it's a good place to start.

But meeting people online is great. Try social networking sites like the infamous myspace. There's a lot of people my age using it, so I meet a lot of people that way. That's better if you want to meet people, but if you just want to practice random things, sure, chatting is fine.

[Gordon]

Originally Posted by FutureBillionaire

Do you guys think it would be a good idea to start building social skills by using the internet? Especially when it comes to girls. The only bad thing about it is the fact that I dont have a phone or a car... so if I chat with girls and hit it off, where could I go? If they want to call me on the phone or go on a date.... its just depressing.

I need money for a phone, and the ability to actually talk people over the phone.... and for the car, well, I need money and a license.


Anyway, any advice?

Well, we have established you can chat to girls....that's good start. Do you drink coffee? Well most of the women I ever met (prior to my settling down), all enjoyed nothing more sometimes than someone taking the time to get to know them over a nice latte.

People love to talk, (especially women) about themselves. That way you get to know them and they get to know you. I am sure your circumstances will change in the future and you will get that car you want and have the money in your wallet.

Also ask yourself this, do you want to spend time with someone who can only go out with you because you can drive her somewhere and take her to expensive restuarants (oh heck...now I am talking about my previous love life!!), no you don't I am sure you want them to know you as much as you want to know them and that only comes with talking and more importantly listenting.

I have all my business meetings in coffee shops and regularly take my other half out for coffee during the day. Go on drink some coffee...(or tea).

G

[tropicality]

In listening to Tim Sales audio tapes on how to be a professional at business I learned of an exercise that may be of help.

When one begins training a new business prospect. The first thing that you need to learn how to do is to "greet" someone, that is to get them talking openly and freely to you so that you can have a real conversation without just monotone answers.

What he suggests to learn this is to go to a coffee shop or the book store and just start a conversation with someone over anything. "Oh this is a great section of books, what do you think of it?" "Man this weather could be better, don't you agree? - Remember when it used to be warmer during this time of year?" etc. Or whatever you want! The main thing is to just start doing it.

To be honest I was also in your position about 6 months ago when I made the decision to change from being a person who never talked to anyone I didn't know wherever I went to talking to everyone wherever I go! When I am walking through the hallway at college I can easily just stop and start talking to someone or when I'm at the club and the music is actually quiet enough to have a freaking conversation without yelling into the other person's ear I will start up conversations with people. It's actually a lot of fun when you've never done it before! You just got to start doing it and accept that you might make some mistakes at the start but people don't care.. only you do.. but you don't have to, so don't be hard on yourself!

edit: oh there is one thing I forgot to add that I have learned from Tim Sales, and that is the number one thing you need to be doing is to be interested in the person you are talking to! And that means listenting to what they are saying! (NOT thinking of what you are going to say next, this causes you to forget what they just told you and then give a reply like 'oh yup' or totally change the topic which people pick up on that you weren't listening and then don't want to talk anymore especially if they are a stranger). So just listen to what they say and be interested in them! But also don't be too "assertive" until you have gained some rapport with them, otherwise they may get offended, but if you do say something that offends them by being too assertive, don't take it personally and just remember not to be that assertive the next time you are talking to someone, but remember that everyone is different so the assertiveness threshold will be different for everyone.. (man there are a lot of variables :P but just have fun! whether its growing in your ability fun or just genuinely having fun talking to people)

[LifeFirst]

Why do people always think they need a car to date. Because I hate driving, what if you live in New York City or some other big city....you don't need a car.

[RallyMcnally]

do you have a webcam and a microphone?

I think that's the best way to build social skills online that could be used offline.

Stickam.com is fun. Camfrog.com (under 18 rooms are fun, unless you want to get naked).