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| Personal Effectiveness Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 34
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I guess a lot of people have this problem. I'm not exactly "unmotivated", but my depression keeps me from acting so it feels like I am unmotivated. I have high goals, but can't seem to take the first steps. |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 49
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With goals it always helps to break them down into baby goals so they're more achievable. For example "clean rubbish out of car" is a lot easier to achieve than "clean entire car", if your goals take you a long time to achieve that's absolutely fine because in the end you're still achieving them Another thing that helps is committing very small time-frames to your goals and seeing how you go, for example set yourself 5 to 15 minutes every day to work on your goals. You only have to spend that much time, but what you'll usually find is once you get started you begin to enjoy what you're doing and you'll keep working and making some significant progress on your goals. Some days you'll only do 5 minutes yes, but other days you'll do a few hours. Also have you tried antidepressants yet? |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 944
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FutureBillionaire, By your title I am assuming that you have big dreams and goals. Your title may give some insight to the way that your mind works. Do you find yourself dreaming of what your future will be in twenty years? Do you have a burning desire to reach your long term goals? If you answer yes to both you might loose motivation sometimes because you feel helpless or feel a lack of control over the present. If you agree with the above then my advice would be to fall in love with the process. Truely enjoy the daily grind and fall in love with the idea of ceasing the day and making the most of it. If you disagree whith what I've said then just assume that I'm really talking about myself here... Still Growing. |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1
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Hi. My name is Renee. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for 10+ years. Initially, I beat myself up for not living up to my own expectations. After much therapy, I learned that I didn't have the capacity to do all the things that "normal" people can do. I essentially accepted the fact that I had to lower my expectations of myself (particularily after a suicide attempt). Since this transition (a few years now), I find myself doing less and less of the things I enjoy and using my anxiety and depression as excuses for not persuing a higher quality of life. My self-discipline is next to nothing (if you don't use the muscles, they get weak over time, right?). I very much want to get up everyday and do the things I need and want to do, but my mind constantly says no...for whatever reasons. My concern at this point is.....am I capable of more than I think I am, but am afraid, or am I really dealing with depression daily? I'm guessing it's a combination. I'm looking for others that have gotten to a similar point and how they handled it. Anyone?
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,334
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It sounds to me that depression is the overall source of this. Having suffered it myself, it just plain defeated me during that time period and made me feel the same way you do. Then again, your mind seems to justify its presence as an excuse to not go for the gusto. Depression is definitely a crippling factor overall so I feel you should continue to treat it-if your mind can't fall back on your depression as an excuse to get going, then it'll at least be easier to pinpoint any problems from there.
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 320
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I'm sorry Renee, I haven't been there myself. But what about building some self-confidence with small achievable goals. Steve uses this method in his Self-discipline series of blogs. Try something small each day that you'll enjoy doing. I'd also suggest EFT since it's my favourite. When you decide you're going to do this small enjoyable thing, listne to what your mind says about it, and use EFT on the negatives there (I can help if you like). It will help you get motivated. Once you've had a bit of success, you may start gaining confidence again. Joy to you Hazel |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 4
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Depression is a trap, you must recognize it and get away from it. It's a time bomb that leads to self-destruction. Don't let it take over you. We are mostly depressed because we "WANT" but we "CAN'T." You can help it by "not wanting anything," by living a simple life. Some people can do it, but some people can't because the "WANT" is too strong. It beats/pumps like a heart "WANT" "WANT" "WANT." In order to live a healthy life, you should have a beat like: "I WANT" "I CAN"... "I WANT" "I CAN" ... "I WANT" "I CAN"...."I WANT" "I CAN".... However, if you are beating like: "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T"... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T" ... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T"...."I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T".... you are certainly falling (or about to fall) into the depression trap. So, how to move out of this trap? It's not that complicated. First of all, IT'S UP TO YOU! Secondly, please don't forget, "it's up to you" ...again, sorry. It's really easy, it's just a matter of bringing your beat back to "I WANT"..."I CAN"... and it's really up to you. (I really apologize for mentioning it again The three stage process: The first thing you need to do is so easy that you will be amazed and you will wonder why you haven't done it before. If you are alive, you are already accomplishing lots of things daily, but you are not aware of it just because you are not tracking all these small accomplishments. Just track what you are already doing! By the end of the day, take a few minutes to write down on a piece of paper or software (I recommend GoalEnforcer) all the stuff you have accomplished during the day. It should be easy, and you'll be delighted. After some time, by just doing this your beat should have changed to something like: "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T"... "I WANT" "I CAN" ... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T".... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T".... .. "I WANT" "I CAN'".... There are still lot's of "I CAN'Ts", but see that you've inserted a few "I CANs." You have already started moving the scale to the other direction. Now stage 2: After spending a while in stage 1, and feeling that you have boosted enough confidence and relieved some depression, you are ready to move to stage 2. Now, instead of just writing what you have accomplished during the day, also write down what you want to accomplish for the NEXT day. But make sure you write SMALL goals, something SMALL and REALISTIC, that CAN be accomplished. Nothing like "be a billionaire." Stuff like "clean my desk" makes more sense. Spend some good time on stage 2. I would say, at least 2-3 months. Review your beat again. Check that you have inserted many more "I CANs." It might look like this by then: "I WANT" "I CAN" ... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T"... "I WANT" "I CAN' ... "I WANT" "I CAN'"...."I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T".... Stage 3: Now the big challenge, you are ready to move to larger goals. You now have the confidence that you can achieve smaller goals (stage 1 and 2). What are big goals? Just a set of smaller goals! A big goal is not a big monster. It can be broken into smaller goals, and therefore it can be achieved. You have already done it! Keeping adding larger and larger goals to your list (but making sure you break them into little cute inoffensive sub-goals). After a few months you should have a healthy beat like: "I WANT" "I CAN" .... "I WANT" "I CAN" ..... "I WANT" "I CAN" .... "I WANT" "I CAN" .... "I WANT" "BUT I CAN'T"... "I WANT" "I CAN" .... Remember, you (and any other human) will never reach the perfect, idealistic 100% "I WANT" I CAN" beat. You are still going to have a few (but just a few) "I CAN'Ts" inserted in between, but hey.... |
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| | #12 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 23
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Hi FutureBillionaire, I've heard taking ice cold showers helps with depression. People say it makes them feel alive... I've even heard of people who take multiple cold showers throughout the day to help keep their depression in check. You should check it out. Here some people talk about cold showers and other things to help depression: Depression Cures Hope this helps |
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 164
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The one thing I've learned from depression is that the cure can't be found in a pill, a therapist, or a message board. I don't think there's anything I could tell you that would change your mindset, but I'll say that once I accepted that I'm depressed (and probably will be for some time), it became easier to go through the motions of life. Instead of thinking "woe is me," I think "this sucks, but it is what it is." So I wake up in the morning (usually on the count of nightmares), make a sad cup of tea, give myself 5 minutes to dread another day of disappointment, and then lead a pretty normal life, just kind of waiting around for the rare moments of happiness. And I think that WAS the first step for me. Acknowledging that I'm not going to get better overnight, so I can either take a chance and play my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ hand, or fold. And everyone knows you can't win if you fold. It is what it is, man. |
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| | #16 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 388
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I also have a depression problem... but I am working to overcome it by seeking out the answers to deep rooted questions... depression is not only psychological but also physical, yet it is more than this it is a state of being and feeling. It involves your whole being and encompasses you. I have found that once I accepted that I am depressed I can actually work on it each day and lessen the strains. There is no real "trap" its all illusitory... but the depression is there to show you that something isn't right with either your world or the way you see things. In other words, depression can be used as an action signal. But it isn't necessarily an action signal in the form of physical movement, necessarily, but rather how you relate to the depressive state and your own life. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but this veiwpoint is what seems to be working for me, albeit quite slowly.
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Utah
Posts: 141
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Just remember, all the knowledge you gain from personal development books, websites, or speakers cannot cause permanent change. Knowledge is useless if it isn't used on a daily, hourly, or even constant basis. To change behavior and emotions, you need thought rehabilitation. |
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| | #19 (permalink) | ||
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Utah
Posts: 141
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| | #21 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Utah
Posts: 141
| Quote:
The Subconscious Brain is where you store your thought patterns and your belief patterns. Take a look at your actions and that is what you believe. Your subconscious records ALL types of self-talk, whether it be positive, negative, true or false. Since it has been doing this your whole life, it has gathered a lot of information. All of this information is stored and it has created a blueprint of your life. It knows no other way other than what you feed it day in and day out. Because of this, you live according to what those belief patterns tell you (whether you are aware of that or not). I think you understand this and want to know HOW to effectively change those thought patterns. I suggest Robert Anthony's 3 steps (from his book, Advanced Formula for Total Success): 1. You affirm your goal. 2. You picture the end result. 3. You feel the emotion that goes along with accomplishing the goal. Affirm your goal with positive, action-oriented, present statements. "I am great at keeping my desk organized now." Write these statements down. Post them on your mirror. Get them in your head. I also use thinkrightnow.com's audio CDs. Those CDs play positive affirmations for a specific area that you want to change (anxiety, depression, etc.) I listen to a CD right before I go to bed. Picture the end result. I feel that it helps to find some depiction of what you want (take a picture of a clean desk if that's your goal). Find a picture of a fit person, etc. Thirdly, find an emotion to attach to the picture you have in your mind. When you see that picture, feel excited, happy, thrilled, etc. Check out his book, it's Chapter 6 that I'm getting this from. It's important that you do this everyday. Affirm your goals with positive, action-oriented statements everyday. Look at the picture/depiction of your goal everyday. And when you look at that picture, be sure to feel the emotion of accomplishment. Last edited by z1freeride; 12-02-2007 at 06:17 PM. | |
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