Best Way To Break A Habit?

[Lucinda]

Ideas please.

[Adam]

Well, practice makes habit, so I don't see why practice can't make different habits...

Although, I do have to plug a couple of Steve's articles... http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles...ing-desire.htm , http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...helming-force/ , and http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...lf-discipline/ .

If we practice procrastination, then our habit will be procrastination... Some times, it takes extra momentum to overcome our habits, so if we have a burning desire to make the change, we can attack the habit with overwhelming force, and use self discipline to keep ourselves from slipping back into the old habit.

[Joel Chue]

Self-discipline is really the key.
I'm not sure what habits you are referring to, but if its habits like
smoking, there are tons of info outside to help you break that habit.

I believe if you can abstain it for 21 days or more, you have more
or less broke the habit.

[Lucinda]

Do any of you have a bad habit?

My habbit is that I tend to eat when I am stressed/lonely/tired/sad...etc... I realize that this is not uncommon. I have been doing this since I was about 15... I am now 22. I am very disciplined in other areas of my life, and although I am actually slim, it's just something that I really need to stop doing...

Thanks for your advice so far.

[intentionengine]

Hi Lucinda, My 2 cents worth, What I do when stessed or bored is hop on my keyboard and write or make a website, poster, something creative always works for me.

www.myspace.com/brendanokeefe

I wrote this song on myspace when I was working out what kind of music I wanted to do after a 5 year break from songwriting.

If i get into writing something I can go hours/days and time stands still.
I find creativity stops me from eating, drinking and I get a real high out of it.

Otherwise as mentioned above, retraining you mind is the key. You get hardwired into habits and you need we need to rewire with other behaviours.

Later,

Brendan

[tc33]

The solution I employ is to simply live consciously, and attempt to do so at all times. When I find myself drifing off into la-la land and doing things which are unproductive/undesireable, I ask myself, "what are you doing? why are you doing it? focus!"

When attempting to instill a new habit or break an old one, I find that picking a single action and repeating it in my head several times before I walk out the door each morning significantly increases my odds of practicing that behavior.

For example, for the next day or two I'll pick something from my mental list of optimal habits (which reminds me; I really need a paper version to keep a list and manage it) and make sure I mentally commit to it before I walk outside of the house. "Repeat back what the other person said" is a good example of a habit I want to instill in order to improve my interpersonal communication skills. I may repeat that habit a few times out loud in the car as I drive to work. Later on that day, when I talk to somebody, the new habit often just pops into my head and then I'm like "oh yeah I want to make sure to do that" and make it so. A positive reaction from the other person only reinforces the new habit, creating an upward spiral of habit reinforcement. Unfortunately, I often don't reinforce the behavior enough times and it falls to the wayside, allowing the old habit to return. I think my tracking mechanism will help here...off to make that happen right now. Hey...thanks for your help on my issue here!

[Steve Pavlina]

My favorite way to break an old habit is to condition a new habit that's incompatible with the old one. For example, oversleeping can be killed by conditioning the habit of waking up at the same (early) time every day.

If you want to break a habit, think about what you'd rather be doing instead, and work on conditioning that as a new habit. So whatever the stimulus is, you'd connect it to a different response.

[AdamKayce]

I like Steve's answer. And not because I'm a kiss-a__...

Most people try to shift behaviors by attacking the problem. They ask themselves, "Why am I doing this? What's wrong with me? What do I need to fix?"

This keeps you focused on the problem. Which, most times, is a pretty miserable way to go about it.

Instead, focus on where you want to go. Visualize the positive future you're trying to get to, and ask, "What will it take to get me there? What positive qualities/habits/actions/beliefs will get me to where I want to be?"

This keeps you focused on the solution, which is a lot more enjoyable.

(It's a lot like being in a skidding car... if you focus on the tree, you'll most likely hit it. Focus on the open road, and you're more likely to find yourself there.)

If you're looking for more structured help, the approach of Appreciative Inquiry is a good starting place... a quick Google will yield some good resources to check out.

[shesaboutspirit]

I'm glad Steve gave his input. I once listened to a tape by some big expert in the field of growth and was then surprised by his advice. He said don't let anybody take away your bad habit without giving you a new one in its place. But it makes sense. If you just try to get rid of the old one...you'll create a void or vacuum that needs to be filled. If you don't replace it with the healthier version...the old one will likely continue to fill that space.

Also the posts that talk about focusing on the new one are great...because what we focus on grows. Ever tried analyzing your procrastination? You can just chase your tail indefinately...

This thread has me inspired to create some new habits... See what happens when you focus on the good stuff?

Good luck!
Pam

[Dating Specialist]

Great advice!

At the same time, maybe we can ask ourselves what's the reason to get rid of that habit. And what are the benefits and advantages (tangible, intangible, apparent, not so apparent) we'll get from getting rid of that habit?

This could help us derive some motivators to stay commited in getting rid of the bad habit and also help to reinforce the devotion in installing the new one too!

[Cassie]

I agree, getting rid of a bad habit (like smoking) is easier when you consciously take time to list the great benefits of being a non-smoker.