Ever get the feeeling that you're spending so much time with self help....

[Dannyboy1]

that you're not actually getting anything done? Like you're totally talking about how amazing all these ideas are instead of getting work done toward your goals?

[Angela]

um, yes. Thank you for reminding me.

{{{slinks away to go work on her overdue website}}}}

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Oh, yeah. I went through a bit of that myself and had a Personal Development Meltdown.

But, at this point, I've realized that everything I went through was necessary to get to where I am today. I mean, if you read PD books for 10 years and never implement anything, I could see that as excessive. But I think people usually underestimate their progress as well.

I was just recently told to think back to where I was when I started posting here and compare it to today. Really an eye-opener. However, to me it felt like I was barely implementing what I learned at all yet.

In short, it's possible to just be treading water and intellectualizing it all, but if you are making even small strides you are doing better than the majority of the population that isn't interested in improving at all.

[Calculusaurus]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I mean, if you read PD books for 10 years and never implement anything, I could see that as excessive. But I think people usually underestimate their progress as well.

So true.

It might feel like you're just spinning your wheels, but if you gauge progress from a wider time period you'll realize how much the effort has helped.

But of course, that's no excuse to spend all your time intellectualizing without taking action!

[Ree]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Oh, yeah. I went through a bit of that myself and had a Personal Development Meltdown.

But, at this point, I've realized that everything I went through was necessary to get to where I am today. I mean, if you read PD books for 10 years and never implement anything, I could see that as excessive. But I think people usually underestimate their progress as well.

Excellent point! I recently purchased a bunch of PD books on CD. Found them on sale, so that's what started it all

Now I use time in my car, that is otherwise "down time", to absorb some of the greatest teaching I have ever heard.

[Rockchick26]

I was actually going to start a post about this,you beat me to it! I've been feeling that way ever since i came on this forum LOL I spend HOURS a day catching up on here,that i rarely get time to read any of my books (Just got The Power of Now the long version,today) I'm already in the middle of reading like 5 other books too! And i never get a chance to meditate cuz by the time i get done on here and read a little its either time to go to bed or go to work LOL

[jawillie]

Yes. Guilty.

I loved ATC response, though and I can see that in my own life, too. You THINK you aren't getting anywhere, but you are. One day it all starts to click. ?? Hopefully?? lol

[PVince81]

It seems like I know what I should do, but always procrastinate... Sometimes I take small steps in some direction, but I hardly can maintain it and seem to come back to where I was before.
But my life sometimes gives me some small insights, so in some way I could say that I am still going forward, but very slowly.
Better than nothing at all.

[Jarrod]

Ah!

Everyone must practice. Intellectual epiphanies don't really mean much. You have to bring what you learn into your daily life otherwise it is rather pointless.

Really everyone should go and write one practice/technique down right now. Write when you are going to practice it (in the case of single occurrence practices) and then practice it every day for a month (or 30 days). Evaluate it's use and decide if you will use it for your life.

I need to incorporate more practices into my day too but I can't emphasize enough how you must try to put stuff into practice. It is the only way you can gain real experience/knowledge and only with that knowledge can you really evaluate other things.

After all it is a forum about developing. Maybe there are too many smart people here

Note: In case this post is taken the wrong way, I'm not trying to put anyone down or make myself sound better than anyone (which would be very incorrect as I only have very limited experience). It's just that I've learned practice is the only way and so I wanted to pass that on rather forcefully.

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I was just recently told to think back to where I was when I started posting here and compare it to today. Really an eye-opener. However, to me it felt like I was barely implementing what I learned at all yet.

In short, it's possible to just be treading water and intellectualizing it all, but if you are making even small strides you are doing better than the majority of the population that isn't interested in improving at all.

Yes, acting on that desire to improve and atleast making minor changes is much better than a lot of people (Makes me sad considering that).

But if you are practicing things, you learn way more even if a techinque you are working on is flawed in some way. You will atleast recognise it faster and be able to pick up similar flaws in other techniques later on using that experience.

Best of practice to everyone.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by jawillie

One day it all starts to click. ?? Hopefully?? lol

One day you wake up and your life is totally different. You wonder how you got to that point and then you remember "oh, yeah, I've been working on this for a while...cool."

Sometimes, when I really stop to look, I can see how much change I've actually been through.

[pianoperformer]

I felt like that for a while..and then I actually got excited about what I was doing and so now have a hard time fitting everything in. Of course these forums are still a black hole to be avoided.

[newmark]

Not really. I just read until I feel full, then I start trying things out. Most books on the subject start to repeat themselves pretty quickly. I read a large portion of Steve's site, which was useful. Then a handful of other books which were quite good. Now, when I look at a self help book, for the most part, it just seems to say the same as the others. Some books are better written ( and thought out ) and some worse; and some much worse; but whichever, I can see this more quickly than before.
The same with this forum. I feel I'm getting fuller and am becoming more selective in what I read. However, it's still a good way of learning for me.

[Remiel]

I go through cycles. During some periods I'm heavy on reading. Then I switch to heavy on doing. Then back again. Right now I'm on a transition and I'm not sure whether I'm going more reading or more action yet .

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

um, yes. Thank you for reminding me.

{{{slinks away to go work on her overdue website}}}}

The funny thing Angela, is I can visualize your website. I have an idea of how it'll look - the layout, the colors and style you'll use, the webpages. In my mind, your website has a bunch of helpful articles explaining your concepts, and a "Ask Angela" section where you post helpful advice to people who email you them, but you share it publicly (with their permission) so other people can be helped too by just reading it. I might be completely wrong in how you plan to do your website, but I have a strong image of it in my mind. I'm looking so much forward to seeing your website, whether it's like I imagine it or completely different.

Maybe you can just start with the barebone, like Steve's site? Didn't he just start with a two or three posts and a barebone setup before it was announced publicly?

[Angela]

Thank you, seeker, for visualizing it ... you are helping me! Aspiring gave me some mirror coaching the other day and I saw what you probably already knew, that I've been procrastinating because I'm afraid that people will think it's second rate or annoying (my habitual negative thought pattern!). Thinking I'm second-rate and annoying (listening to my gremlin) has cost me pretty dearly, it has kept me separate and stopped and fearful. And it has cost the people around me, too, and the best part is that my worry about being annoying is actually pretty annoying. I am generating a new way of being, and that is Bold Inspiration. I am scared, but I am committed to having a boldly inspiring website, barebones as it may be, up as soon as possible.

And my little gremlin is really shouting at me now! "Nu-uh, Angela -- you have reason to be afraid! Listen to me, I'm right!"

Stinking little gremlin. I am practicing flicking him off my shoulder and mashing him like a potato. Thank you, Seeker, for helping me murder the little sucker.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

Thank you, seeker, for visualizing it ... you are helping me!

Cool

I am scared, but I am committed to having a boldly inspiring website, barebones as it may be, up as soon as possible.

Nice!

Why are you this interested in having a website up? How does it fit into your overall plan? I know why I'm interested in seeing your website up, I'm curious as to why you're interested.

And my little gremlin is really shouting at me now! "Nu-uh, Angela -- you have reason to be afraid! Listen to me, I'm right!"

Stinking little gremlin. I am practicing flicking him off my shoulder and mashing him like a potato.

Sounds like you get to have fun figuring out how to neutralize and shine a bunch of love into this fear so it's no longer a fear! I can imagine how great you'll feel to have that fear behind you and free of it.

Thank you, Seeker, for helping me murder the little sucker.

You're welcome

[EnduranceNinja]

This reminds me when I first started getting into the sport of triathlons. I read up planned my tough workouts. I was so motivated till the time came to start them. We all enjoy talking and reading on how we can improve ourselfs. But the act of doing can be boring. Planning is always fun, But actually doing it is the real work.

[maxdof]

Habit 7: "Sharpen Your Saw"
One hour a day to nurture your 4 dimensions that defines you: Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit that will make a tremendous change in everything in your life.
Stephen Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

I don't waste my time in pers dev when I am on the good way. My myssion statement, my 'end in mind' (habit 2) is so huge that I will never lose my time developping myself. I will only always win.

Just go on the right direction.

[coLLege kid07]

Something amazing I've noticed: About a year ago I was always really nervous and scared when going to parties/hanging out with people, and now when I go to parties ect., I'm totally comfortable around everyone and can make a conversation with no fear. It's pretty cool. lol

[maxdof]

Originally Posted by coLLege kid07

Something amazing I've noticed: About a year ago I was always really nervous and scared when going to parties/hanging out with people, and now when I go to parties ect., I'm totally comfortable around everyone and can make a conversation with no fear. It's pretty cool. lol

How did you achieve that?

[clementc82]

Yeah. I do feel the same, spending too much time on reading instead of applying the concepts I've learned from books.

My stage is now action stage.. which is much harder than just getting the idea.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

that you're not actually getting anything done? Like you're totally talking about how amazing all these ideas are instead of getting work done toward your goals?

Yes, it is time-consuming. And esp on other boards, I realised 95% does not apply to me or is BS. But, if I find only one new concept that makes a change in the way I feel, think or live for let's say every 500 hours I spend on self-help, the time is well invested. And I believe many things I read build up on each other over time: some things I read years ago, did not make sense to me, but now after having read zillions of pages of self-help, reading them again and makes much sense.

But you are right, if you do not take action, it is all wasted time. But for me action is not necessarily physical action towards getting things done, but also to a large extent mental action: e.g. maximising my compassion in every moment of my life.

[hkalchemy]

If you're thirsty, you can

(a) read about water
(b) write down goals about when and how to drink water
(c) contribute to water forums
(d) visualize water and meditate about water
(e) take a drink of water

Which is best?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by hkalchemy

Which is best?

Taking inspired action is wonderful, but in personal development inspired action, for me at least, relationship is one of the most valuable areas. A drink of water I can have on my own, but to satisfy my thirst for connection I must drink from the wellspring of the community.

[munish]

Originally Posted by Angela

I've been procrastinating because I'm afraid that people will think it's second rate or annoying (my habitual negative thought pattern!). Thinking I'm second-rate and annoying (listening to my gremlin) has cost me pretty dearly, it has kept me separate and stopped and fearful. And it has cost the people around me, too, and the best part is that my worry about being annoying is actually pretty annoying. I am generating a new way of being, and that is Bold Inspiration. I am scared, but I am committed to having a boldly inspiring website, barebones as it may be, up as soon as possible.

Angela,

I found this quote by ken evoy to be quite inspiring.

Que. (My biggest fear wasn't the financial return on the time I'd invested, but that I might disappoint people. )

Ken evoy-I can guarantee you that mooch marketers don't have that fear. Their primary goal is to separate people from their money. They do well short-term and then they have to move on (which is why I've seen three generations of Internet Marketing mooch marketers come and go -- they always wear out their welcome.)

But if you are driven by the desire to please your customer, to OVERdeliver, you will succeed in the long run. And you will never wear out your welcome -- that welcome only gets stronger and stronger.

And, as far as I know, the surest "symptom" of having that desire is noticing a fear of disappointing people just before you launch. -ken evoy of site sell.

Hope to see your website up very soon.

[Angela]

Munish, thank you, that is exactly what I fear, and your post has fortified me.

Thank you, thank you!