Living in a fog

[garym]

I thought I'd bring my experience here in case there were others who could relate and add words of wisdom. I perceive my life right now as if I were navigating through a fog. In the fog there is no vision of objects, just mist. Objects only appear when they are in the immediate vicinity, otherwise they vanish into obscurity. There is no sense of direction in the fog, no way of knowing where you are and where to go to be able to see clearly. It is an unclear and disorienting place to be.

Likewise, my lifestyle is one of a cycle of fogginess that seems to have no end. Even though my life situation has undergone substantial change in the last 12 months, some things just change very little. I get hyped-up on personal development, or hyped-down on spiritual resources such as Tolle books. I spend a great deal of time surfing the web. At times the routine is interspersed with feelings of depression and loneliness due to my insubstantial people contact. I rarely have the motivation to be social, and lack the friendships to have opportunities to do so. Additionally, I do not have many social interests. When I do attend social events, I do not seem able to engage enough with people to make friends. I have had trouble connecting with women and would love a girlfriend but it just seems like a distant dream.

I want my life to be of worth and meaning, which is why I pursue personal development. But it seems like I'm forever on this treadmill, forever stuck in this fog, this Groundhog Day. In fact, I am having to force desperation out in writing this message, as normally I'm simply complacent, yet deep down I know I'm missing out. I did read Steve's latest blog entry yesterday, which was a breath of fresh air (or maybe a way out of the fog) and have begun the process of visualizing.

Thank you in advance for your words of wisdom, I truly appreciate every one.

Gary

[Jarrod]

Just a question.

Have you figured out a purpose for your life (one that you use now)?

If not, maybe read here: The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose

You said you pursue personal development so your life will be of worth and meaning.

Worth what? What meaning will your life have?

Without any extra information, the post to me says the reason that you can't get out of the fog is because what you are walking towards is equally undefined, equally foggy. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it.

[garym]

I've yet to work out a purpose, though I have started to write some ideas......I think it's a work in progress at this stage.

Yes, my life is clouded in vagaries, as you say. The worth and meaning that I see is not clear. For 16 years I was a committed conservative Christian, and a couple years back left that path. The conditioning was of complete dependence to God and the Book. As such, I didn't think for myself all that much. Now that I do, the path I'm on still often represents the ideas of others rather than any core values. I'm only just becoming aware of that. Steve's 'live consciously' has been a major inspiration over the past year.

Thanks for your input, I'm more inspired now to work further on my purpose.

[Jarrod]

No worries. Be sure to keep us informed how you go on your journey

[Lara]

It sounds like you need some warm fuzzies and some purpose.

How about volunteering to read stories to kids in the library on Saturdays or at the hospital a couple of nights a week, soup kitchens always need help. Don't say no to this idea. Just do it!

Commit for two weeks to begin with and see how it feels and what changes, keep a journal of what happens. Things in you WILL change.

Search for volunteer groups in your area. You'll find a lot of people who can use your help. This will help to take you out of yourself while you are delving deeper into yourself.

Too much work and no play .... etc. Get outside, walk around. Smile at yourself in the mirror three times a day and tell yourself you love you. You can even have a chat with yourself if you are so moved:
Mirror:
morning when you wake
noon before lunch
and just before you go to bed.

I'm serious. Just do it. You will be glad you did. Write to me, let me know how you are.

Peace,

[Halcyon]

Well I dont have much advice as I feel a clear similarity in our situations. it helped reading your post, knowing Im not the only one in a limiting situation.

[Jarrod]

I think the only real limitations are in our minds.

[garym]

Thank you for your excellent ideas Lara. I have thought about volunteering, and needed a reminder to do something about it. You are so right, there are many services crying out for volunteers. Also, saying 'I love you Gary' is something I started a week ago, especially when shaving. It makes the shaving time a lot more pleasurable!

Originally Posted by Lara

It sounds like you need some warm fuzzies and some purpose.

How about volunteering to read stories to kids in the library on Saturdays or at the hospital a couple of nights a week, soup kitchens always need help. Don't say no to this idea. Just do it!

Commit for two weeks to begin with and see how it feels and what changes, keep a journal of what happens. Things in you WILL change.

Search for volunteer groups in your area. You'll find a lot of people who can use your help. This will help to take you out of yourself while you are delving deeper into yourself.

Too much work and no play .... etc. Get outside, walk around. Smile at yourself in the mirror three times a day and tell yourself you love you. You can even have a chat with yourself if you are so moved:
Mirror:
morning when you wake
noon before lunch
and just before you go to bed.

I'm serious. Just do it. You will be glad you did. Write to me, let me know how you are.

Peace,

[Lara]

Originally Posted by garym

Thank you for your excellent ideas Lara. I have thought about volunteering, and needed a reminder to do something about it. You are so right, there are many services crying out for volunteers. Also, saying 'I love you Gary' is something I started a week ago, especially when shaving. It makes the shaving time a lot more pleasurable!

YW Gary. How are you today? Feeling better? Have you volunteered for something yet? If so what did you volunteer for?

How is that mirror thing going for you? I first heard this suggestion about 16 years ago from Louise Hay. Her book and tape/CD You can Heal Your Life, were invaluable to me as were several of her other works. She now owns Hay House. Lot's of information on her website about how to pick yourself up and get moving again.

Peace,

[garym]

Originally Posted by Lara

YW Gary. How are you today? Feeling better? Have you volunteered for something yet? If so what did you volunteer for?

How is that mirror thing going for you? I first heard this suggestion about 16 years ago from Louise Hay. Her book and tape/CD You can Heal Your Life, were invaluable to me as were several of her other works. She now owns Hay House. Lot's of information on her website about how to pick yourself up and get moving again.

Peace,

I am doing blissfully. I moved through the stress of my first major exam for my psychology degree yesterday, and gladly found it to be not as bad as I expected. Now that is over, I will find and volunteer for something today. In fact, when I have finished writing this message, I will go to the volunteering website.

Last night I watched a wonderful movie called The Ultimate Gift. I could identify with the main character, a spoilt rich kid whose life is turned upside down by his deceased grandfather, who wished to bring out the best in him. While not rich, I have been spoilt. Hedonism creates laziness and inaction, and pain is one of the greatest motivators to move out of this place. I now recognize that many of the emotions that have been arising such as depression have been acting as signposts that something is wrong and must change.

Thanks for the recommendation, I will look it up.

[Lara]

Originally Posted by garym

I am doing blissfully. I moved through the stress of my first major exam for my psychology degree yesterday, and gladly found it to be not as bad as I expected. Now that is over, I will find and volunteer for something today. In fact, when I have finished writing this message, I will go to the volunteering website.

Last night I watched a wonderful movie called The Ultimate Gift.....
Hedonism creates laziness and inaction, and pain is one of the greatest motivators to move out of this place. I now recognize that many of the emotions that have been arising such as depression have been acting as signposts that something is wrong and must change.

Thanks for the recommendation, I will look it up.

I am so glad you are feeling better. Congratulations on getting through the exam. Let me know how you did.

I will check out the movie. It sounds familiar.

In a sense, we are all spoiled. We live in a society where everything is provided and laziness and inaction are encouraged and rewarded (otherwise who would be on the couch flipping the channels or listening to the "music" and buying stuff? You are right... suffering brings us out of this trance we live in and if we are lucky.. we have an opportunity to move toward becoming aware of who we really are and what we really want and actually walking the path that will help us get there.

What do you think is "wrong" and what do you think has to change? Do you know yet?

I'm interested to know what you have volunteered for.

Keep smiling,

[garym]

I have some more ideas about what is 'wrong' now. I believe it is repressed emotions that keep me from being fully present. If you've read The Power of Now and A New Earth at all, it's probably akin to the Pain Body and the Ego as described there. I'm beginning to see that my rationalizations for avoiding life are rooted there.

'You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.'

I'm volunteering for some IT-related roles. I figured that I'd work within my comfort zone at first, and then move into some more challenging roles once I've done some volunteering. I know that every time in the past I've jumped in head-first in an area where I'm out of my depth, I sink fast. Interestingly, I met a guy in the volunteer centre who is really spiritually switched-on, who might actually be a connection for me to expand a little business that I just started on a whim. Funny how these things turn out.

Thanks for the encouragement, will keep you posted.

[007paul]

Gary,
I can identify with you in what you are going through. I spent a large part of my life in an almost inner darkness. I read countless books on self improvement and personal development and tried many other things to escape this. You hear a lot of talk about "visualisation" and "believe and you can achieve", but my spiritual energy was negative. As much as I believed in my head, until I got my inner energies right I stayed on the same gloomy treadmill. Each of us has an "inner light", that lights our thoughts and emotions and feelings, helping you to visualise the ideal situation you would like to be in, or partner, or the things you want in your life. Its worth looking into this some more.

[garym]

Originally Posted by 007paul

Gary,
I can identify with you in what you are going through. I spent a large part of my life in an almost inner darkness. I read countless books on self improvement and personal development and tried many other things to escape this. You hear a lot of talk about "visualisation" and "believe and you can achieve", but my spiritual energy was negative. As much as I believed in my head, until I got my inner energies right I stayed on the same gloomy treadmill. Each of us has an "inner light", that lights our thoughts and emotions and feelings, helping you to visualise the ideal situation you would like to be in, or partner, or the things you want in your life. Its worth looking into this some more.

Thanks for your input Paul, are you able to elaborate further on this? How did you reach your "inner light"?

One thing I am doing this week is putting aside my personal development reading and listening. I've been stuck in 'seeker' mode and need to access my own intuition rather than trying to find solutions outside of myself.

Hmmm just had an insight. I have sought out answers from others as there is an inner distrust of myself and my ability to control my life. I wonder, is there really within myself already the ability to find everything I could ever want?

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by garym

Hmmm just had an insight. I have sought out answers from others as there is an inner distrust of myself and my ability to control my life. I wonder, is there really within myself already the ability to find everything I could ever want?

Yes.

People can point the way but the only real experience is your own experience. Go get it