I'm over thinking!

[Smarky]

I'm over thinking but I really don't know what I need to do, what the right mindset is, how to do this, how to do that, how to be really great.

I really really really wanna do great things with my life, it's like an obsession. That's fine i think.

But I really don't know how to do that and it's really causing my to spin my wheels and not get anywhere!

i'm always reading these articles, having these thoughts and coming up with these ideas, it never ends, but it never gets me anywhere because really I just become overwhelmed with it and finding the answer which is going to allow me to do these great things and be this great amazing person!!

ekk!

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by Smarky

I'm over thinking but I really don't know what I need to do, what the right mindset is, how to do this, how to do that, how to be really great.

I really really really wanna do great things with my life, it's like an obsession. That's fine i think.

But I really don't know how to do that and it's really causing my to spin my wheels and not get anywhere!

i'm always reading these articles, having these thoughts and coming up with these ideas, it never ends, but it never gets me anywhere because really I just become overwhelmed with it and finding the answer which is going to allow me to do these great things and be this great amazing person!!

ekk!

based on what you've said, and the forum you're saying it on, I would say it would be good for you to not worry so much about what you "will" be, or what you "will do", and instead try and learn how to reel in your thoughts.

Practice some form of meditation , where you can gain some skill in slowing down thoughts and centering on just being. There are tons of books, dvds, online resources etc.. on how to do that.

I've been reading eastern spiritual type books for years and years, but for me, a real catalyst for growth were two books I read by Eckart Tolle "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth". I can't recommend them enough.

[silicon toad2000]

write it down.
When you have so much going through your head it can be difficult to formulate anything. Get these ideas and thoughts out of your head onto some paper.
Start a little book and write down the pro's and con's of your thoughts. Perhaps an analysis of yourself, make a list of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and obstacles.
I think also the key here would be to limit the time you are spending on this high higher level planning for your life to say half an hour a day or an hour a week or something you find acceptable. Once the time is up you can focus on other things.

[wakeshine]

When I find myself overthinking, it's usually because I'm setting perfection as my goal. I don't want to make a mistake that will cost me (one way or the other), or will make me look bad.

I try to replace my desire for achievement with my desire to learn....and learning means trying different things and figuring out what works and what doesn't. I give myself permission to have fun with it while I stumble through.

[Smarky]

Originally Posted by fwellers

Practice some form of meditation , where you can gain some skill in slowing down thoughts and centering on just being. There are tons of books, dvds, online resources etc.. on how to do that.

I've been reading eastern spiritual type books for years and years, but for me, a real catalyst for growth were two books I read by Eckart Tolle "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth". I can't recommend them enough.

I'm interested in meditation but whenever i do it I either fall asleep or feel tired, so it is not productive at all for me, plus I don't have a quiet enviroment to go to.

The power of now seems like a good book, but it's awfully long for what can be summed up in a few sentances, A new earth I listened to for awhile, but I got bored quickly.

My concern is that my main objective here is to have a kick ass life and create/do great things. I'm worried these things will just turn me into someone who wants to meditate in a cave all day. I'm not looking for just for a calm mind. I just want to get the job done.

In some asspects I wonder if it's like a racing driver swapping his engine out to something quieter so he can have an easier ride!

[Smarky]

Originally Posted by silicon toad2000

write it down.
When you have so much going through your head it can be difficult to formulate anything. Get these ideas and thoughts out of your head onto some paper.
Start a little book and write down the pro's and con's of your thoughts. Perhaps an analysis of yourself, make a list of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and obstacles.
I think also the key here would be to limit the time you are spending on this high higher level planning for your life to say half an hour a day or an hour a week or something you find acceptable. Once the time is up you can focus on other things.

Writing them down seems like a good idea, although I would most likely spend most of my days writing things out constantly rather than doing work.

Limiting planning time is a good idea. Although i would really worry that what I was doing was the right thing. I guess i'm just going to have to force myself into things for awhile.

[Smarky]

Originally Posted by wakeshine

When I find myself overthinking, it's usually because I'm setting perfection as my goal. I don't want to make a mistake that will cost me (one way or the other), or will make me look bad.

I try to replace my desire for achievement with my desire to learn....and learning means trying different things and figuring out what works and what doesn't. I give myself permission to have fun with it while I stumble through.

This is true, it's because of my desire to be get things to such a great level, I don't want to be wasting my time on the wrong thing and i wanna get it right or else it's just a waste of time.

Replacing this with an attitude of learning, growing and getting better seems a neat idea. Thanks for the suggestion, although i'm sure i will just have as many thoughts trying to figure out how to improve and become better.

The trouble is I just don't seem to know these things so I spend a lot of time thinking about them!

[PerDev]

I have also the Habit of Overthinking and visualizing things .. I do try to overcome this by begin with Extrovert friends, concentrating on breath..

If anybody have better option do let us know

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by Smarky

I'm interested in meditation but whenever i do it I either fall asleep or feel tired, so it is not productive at all for me, plus I don't have a quiet enviroment to go to.

The power of now seems like a good book, but it's awfully long for what can be summed up in a few sentances, A new earth I listened to for awhile, but I got bored quickly.

My concern is that my main objective here is to have a kick ass life and create/do great things. I'm worried these things will just turn me into someone who wants to meditate in a cave all day. I'm not looking for just for a calm mind. I just want to get the job done.

In some asspects I wonder if it's like a racing driver swapping his engine out to something quieter so he can have an easier ride!

Name one thing that you want to do that is great. Let's deal with one thing at a time. Just say one great thing you wish to do with your life.

[wakeshine]

Originally Posted by Smarky

In some asspects I wonder if it's like a racing driver swapping his engine out to something quieter so he can have an easier ride!

What a great analogy. You seem to have a clear picture of what you want your success looks like and that's going to take you far.

I just watched Speed Racer and it's a movie about a boy who tries and fails many times on his way to success.

His older brother doesn't teach him how to drive by telling him "this is how you drive." He tells him "listen to the car." But Speed himself has to learn how to relate what he hears to what it means.

Every time he crashes, every time he rolls the car, every time he swerves, he gains muscles and instincts that tell him how to be the driver he wants to be.

On a racetrack, it's clear that you are driving toward something (the goal) and what your path is (the track). In life, sometimes we try to drive away from something (our dissatisfaction with our current situation) and just want to get away any way we can.

As a planner, you must be great at laying out your racetrack. Now...you don't have to win the race...just put the pedal to the metal and run one lap! Not happy with the performance? It's ok..you're further ahead now, and you've learned something new.

Your next lap will be even better.

[Smarky]

Originally Posted by fwellers

Name one thing that you want to do that is great. Let's deal with one thing at a time. Just say one great thing you wish to do with your life.

To pick one thing is difficult, although everything is very interconnected. But as you wish.

To be a self employed web designer, who operates and runs my own sites that are the best in the field which make direct income and have income from paying clients, with plenty of big names and awesome projects!

Wakeshine: So what you are saying is to push as hard as possible on one step at a time and I don't have to worry about getting it right because I can go even better next time and even if it's not perfect, i'm one step closer anyway. Is that right?

[Sam988]

Define what you want to do (goal) -> create a plan -> follow it -> see what happens (feedback) -> change/fix whatever isn't working, according to the feedback you received.



I know it's way easier said than done, but in a nutshell that's what we have to do to accomplish things.

[wakeshine]

Originally Posted by Smarky

Wakeshine: So what you are saying is to push as hard as possible on one step at a time and I don't have to worry about getting it right because I can go even better next time and even if it's not perfect, i'm one step closer anyway. Is that right?

I like the way you said this. Yeah, I think this is true. Give yourself permission to experiment, and do small enough parts that you feel comfortable saying "ok, next time I'll try it this way."

And let us know how it's going!

[fwellers]

To be a self employed web designer, who operates and runs my own sites that are the best in the field which make direct income and have income from paying clients, with plenty of big names and awesome projects!

So what's the problem then ? What's stopping you from working toward that goal now ? You say you have a lot more goals, but that one is pretty lofty. Are your other ones needing to be accomplished at the same time ?
If so, name one of those other ones please.

[Smarky]

Originally Posted by fwellers

So what's the problem then ? What's stopping you from working toward that goal now ? You say you have a lot more goals, but that one is pretty lofty. Are your other ones needing to be accomplished at the same time ?
If so, name one of those other ones please.

I want to reach a really good fitness level and lose a lot of weight.

I want to become an excellent guitar player.

I want to have the greatest music collection in the world (Where greatest music is the best possible collection for ME, music is a big part of my world)

I have lots of different ideas and different things I would like to do. a lot of them are linked together.

I'd like to have a 'Rockstar' appearance, to match who I am, some wicked cool tattoo's and pearcings, with an excellent wardrobe to match.

I'd also like to start and run a site focused around music (although I guess this is related to the web design one?)

i'd like to produce a range of graphic design works.

I would like to write things that matter to people, maybe some lyrics or short passages, i've had the idea to set this to some graphic design/music and also publish it online.

I have other ideas for projects and stuff, but those are the main ones.

[wakeshine]

What a cool list of goals.

Now to do this in "laps" you can come up with small tasks on the way to the goals.
- I want to lose five pounds next month
- I want to learn to play a new song this week
- I want to go to one tatoo parlor just to look
- etc etc etc

Each of those is achievable and, more importantly, measurable. "Excellent guitar player" is a goal that is never achieved but always strived for. That may be part of the reason you overthink.

As you do each task, you'll be learning more about your learning style and even defining your goals more clearly than you could do "on paper."

Keep moving forward!

Doug

[Smarky]

I guess what I need is to become better and have a better system for concentrating on what i need to do right now. I tend to look at everything (there is more than I listed here but it is all related to what i have said) from a much bigger picture perspective cause I really wanna do some great stuff and i wanna get it right. I guess my thinking always is concerned with getting to that final step rather than the next. However even if i have the next steps, I'm kinda concerned they are not the right ones!

For example of how things are linked the tattoo's / piercing will come after i have reached my ideal body weight, it's a reward if you like! but also the final piece and the wardrobe after I have got some money from the web work.

I think right now my three majors would be working on sites to reach my main goal, exercise/diet and guitar. Most things then branch out from that, although there are other things to think about consider and maybe work towards a little in the meantime.

[Gayathri]

Originally Posted by Smarky

I guess what I need is to become better and have a better system for concentrating on what i need to do right now. I tend to look at everything (there is more than I listed here but it is all related to what i have said) from a much bigger picture perspective cause I really wanna do some great stuff and i wanna get it right. I guess my thinking always is concerned with getting to that final step rather than the next. However even if i have the next steps, I'm kinda concerned they are not the right ones!

For example of how things are linked the tattoo's / piercing will come after i have reached my ideal body weight, it's a reward if you like! but also the final piece and the wardrobe after I have got some money from the web work.

I think right now my three majors would be working on sites to reach my main goal, exercise/diet and guitar. Most things then branch out from that, although there are other things to think about consider and maybe work towards a little in the meantime.

All of these three are very neat and desirable goals. It is great that you think big - that is a quality essential for success. But, the secret is to Think in Years and Work in Days (that is a phrase I always use with my life coaching clients).

I would advice you to take a book and perform the following exercise. This often works wonders with my clients.

So now that you know you want 3 main things - your own web design business, a great body and excellence in guitar. Write them down in your book. Ideally, it would be best to work on one or two of these for the first three months and then, when success becomes a habit and your time management skills grow, take up the third, forth and other goals progressively. For now let us focus on your career and health goals.

Done? Now, rewrite them as more "specific" goals. Like for example, "I want to run a web design business with x clients, making y amount of profit monthly, by the time I am z years old." "I want to weigh x pounds and exercise for y hours each week." You get the idea. If you need tips of how to write effective goals like these, you can read it in my article on goal setting.

In the next page, break them down to where you want to be by the coming new years' day. Make these goals specific and realistic - like for example "I want to have x clients by 01 Jan, 2009." or "I want to weigh x pounds by 01 Jan, 2009."

Next, write down where you want to be by the first day of the coming month. "I want to have set up my website designing business, read two books on the subject and found a good name for the business by 01 June, 2008." Now mind you, these goals will depend on your own taste and ability.

You guessed the next task - write down where you want to be on the first day of the next week. "I want to have joined website designer forums, and installed necessary software in my machine" could be a good start. Or anything else YOU feel comfortable achieving.

Now you can move to tomorrow morning (or day after tomorrow morning, depending on what time you are reading this) and write down where you want to be. The first day goals should be relatively trivial and easy to accomplish, because you don't want to feel rushed and want to ease in to the flow. Write those down as well.

If you want, you can further break this down to things like "Google out three good web designer forums before lunchtime" or "take my dog for a walk in the evening."

Each day, as you finish your tasks for the day, write them down in your book. If your longterm or shortterm goals change along the way because of some circumstances, do not be afraid to change them! (As long as you are changing them reasonably of course). You could check out my article on procrastination if you want some ideas on getting things done.

Also, you could perhaps get yourself a life coach to keep you motivated and make sure your goals get completed on time. If you would like my coaching services, please PM me or contact me through my website, and we could work something out.

Good luck, and have a blast with your life!

Cheers,
Gayathri.

[fwellers]

I am impressed. good post Gayathri.
That should keep Smarky busy !!

I was just reading his list of goals ( his reply to me ), and I was getting overwhelmed just reading them. That's a hell of a list.

It brings to mind that when I have too many things on my plate, I tend to shut down and not get any of them accomplished. Sometimes you have to forget the big picture and just hunker down to doing one thing. Just take baby steps, and the rest just seems to come in it's time.

[Gayathri]

Thanks fwellers

You are right, we need to focus on one thing at a time when there is just too much to do. Perhaps a prioritized to-do list would come in handy.

[bobo]

Focus is what you need. It´s a thin line between the benefits of thinking and brainstorming and taking action. Action is what you need, but also focus. You can´t do everything. Take a moment and write down the things that appeal to you the most. Pick one and be an expert on that! You can develop the other ones later.
Good luck!

[Smarky]

Ekkk! I had a bit of extremely bad luck over the weekend. A hard drive failed while I was moving stuff to clear up a drive for backup. Worst possible timing.

The result, I lost two months of work, my music collection and all my thoughts and ideas that I had written down.

I was feeling confident and happy with it all and where it was going. But once this happened suddenly it made me feel confused and lost again!

I'm just way off with where I wish to be, I know exactly where I want to be, but I have no idea how I get there, what is the best route and how to ensure I do a really really good job!