Jesus, I really screwed up this time.

[Jes]

It's 10:50 a.m. I should be in the office right now, but I couldn't get up this morning. And yesterday I took the day off. Why? Because I'm stressed out. So much has been going on at work that I've fallen far behind. And the only way I can get anything done is if I work from home, because we have a new guy and training him is a very "hands on" process. To top it all off, I just came to the realization that I hate what I'm doing, and I'm going to switch my major. That should be great---telling my boss "hey, I'm a music major now-screw accounting."

Anyway, I haven't called the office yet because I'm out of excuses. I just don't know what to tell them. I don't want to quit. I want to come in to work tomorrow with everything done and keep this job as long as I can. Because I have no savings. I have nothing. I have rent due in three weeks, and without this job, no means of making it.

What the hell should I do? I can't decide on a next action.

[m0vingon]

It sounds like you're really overwhelmed right now. I'd say start by calling in sick for today. I don't know if you meditate, but it would be a good idea to get into a less fretful mind space before you make any big decisions. Maybe you cold try some "ideal life" meditations and see where that leads you.

I can relate to how you feel. When I'm overwhelmed I hit the wall too. problem is that for me, being overwhelmed is always a matter of my mindset and only minimally dictated by the actual events taking place. I can't get anything done until I gt some clarity in my head and then focus on small, decisive steps in the direction I need to go.

Good luck.

[Jes]

Thank you. I, too, need clarity before I can get things done. Nice to know there's someone else in the same boat.

[viscapes]

Hi Jes

At the risk of sounding like a psychologist (which I'm certainly not), there's a technique called Transformational Vocabulary that while it won't solve your problems it might at least help you feel a little less overwhelmed.

You used phrases in your post such as "stressed out", "fallen far behind", "I have nothing". Softening your vocabulary might help soften the perception of your situation in your mind at least. Why not say "I'm a tad vexed", which sounds a little silly, but that too will help soften your perception of things. Instead of "I've fallen far behind", howabout "I've a few things to catch up on". It might help get you started.

Hope this helps a little.

[Jennihul]

I would say grow up, stop wishing for perfection until you are solvent and can support yourself, just work your ass off because that's what people do when they are paying their dues. With respect, of course.

My family has a legendary work ethic so maybe you can't relate.

Jennifer

[Rafael Perez]

Originally Posted by viscapes

Hi Jes

At the risk of sounding like a psychologist (which I'm certainly not), there's a technique called Transformational Vocabulary that while it won't solve your problems it might at least help you feel a little less overwhelmed.

You used phrases in your post such as "stressed out", "fallen far behind", "I have nothing". Softening your vocabulary might help soften the perception of your situation in your mind at least. Why not say "I'm a tad vexed", which sounds a little silly, but that too will help soften your perception of things. Instead of "I've fallen far behind", howabout "I've a few things to catch up on". It might help get you started.

Hope this helps a little.

I agree Paul, seems like the power behind negative/positive self talk is very underestimated in our society in this day and age. Yet you talk to anybody who is successful in life and they will tell you how incredibly important it is.

Jes, I remember for a long time I associated my identity with my family. Pretty much conforming to someone elses expectations of what I should do with my life based on who my family was. I realized that I had picked up a lot of self talk that kept me in a paralyzed state because it went against what I truly wanted out of life.

We tend to walk around in a frantic state stressed out about what we want to do in life. It really is much more simple than what we stress out about. Stress and all the negative expectations in your comments stem from fear.

Drop the fear and do what you want to do. Just do it, or don't... it's up to you. You are in complete control of your life, you could choose right now to do what you want to do, if something is holding you back, you should determine what it is you are afraid of and if it is worth holding you back from being happy...

Hope this helps... Have fun!

[kedzer]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

My family has a legendary work ethic so maybe you can't relate.

Jennifer

Uhhh... Wow. Ok. Well, maybe that was a good, effective kick-in-the-pants?

I have two suggestions (only YOU can say if they resonate):

1) If you really got kicked out of your apartment, do you have someplace you can go? I'm going to extremes here, but you get my point. You may have to accept that you need to drop a bunch of things and work on yourself right now. In fact, if you dropped everything, would the world fall apart? Your situation isn't necessarily any different from someone with a physical illness who needs time to heal.

2) I'd recommend deep meditation using Holosync or something similar. You could also try EFT. And/or cognitive behavioral therapy -- you probably need someone to talk to. It all takes TIME. You need to give yourself time, but be doing something proactive during that time. You need to feel like you're moving forward, not just running away from everything.

Fight on! You can do it!

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by kedzer

Uhhh... Wow. Ok. Well, maybe that was a good, effective kick-in-the-pants?

If he's not a wussy boy, it was.

Jennifer

[Jes]

Well, the good news is, I eventually called in, my boss was OK with it and told me I could take a few more days off if I needed to. I decided to take today just to get myself together, so I can go in tomorrow fighting.

But in all the talking I've done the past few days with you guys and my therapist/psychiatrist/family, one subject has continually been brought to my attention: fear. The only reason I'm in this job is because it was---in my opinion---the most secure job anyone could have. The only reason I'm not pursuing my REAL interest is that it's a risky field (music composition). But now I'm physically tired of being afraid. So I've decided to try to keep my job as long as I can, and if I lose it, to find some other work---anything, as long as it pays. In the meantime, I'm going to stop wasting my time pursuing an accounting degree, and start working with my old mentor to get ready for music conservatory. If I fail, I fail, but at least I'll know I gave it everything I had.

I'd rather enjoy myself poverty than hate myself in luxury.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Jes

I'd rather enjoy myself poverty than hate myself in luxury.

What a great revelation!

And it sounds like you fears around your job and your abilities there were unfounded. Your boss gave you time off to take care of yourself. How understanding and how telling of what you mean to the company. At least that's the way I see it. Doesn't happen everyday!

So now, maybe you will find your other fears are illusions as well.

I wish you lots of courage to face your fears. It is so much sweeter to bask in enjoying something you love knowing you went for it despite being afraid. I believe you can do it!

[kedzer]

Originally Posted by Jes

But in all the talking I've done the past few days with you guys and my therapist/psychiatrist/family, one subject has continually been brought to my attention: fear.

Funny, I JUST finished listening to Steve's powerful podcast on Fear:

StevePavlina.com Podcast #008 - Overcoming Fear