How to overcome mental barriers?

[hawkal]

Hi everyone.

I am having a big problem with mental barriers at least that's how I would label them. Here are some examples of what I mean.

A. I am still learning to drive. On a driving lesson I would drive to a roundabout and even when it is clear to go I just won't go. It is like I don't trust myself.

B. I am very quiet but I want to make the effort to be more talkative. Sometimes I try to say hello to people before they may say hello to me but for some reason it just like the words don't come out and I usually bottle out at the last minute.

I don't know if mental barriers is how anyone else would label them but it seemed most appropriate to me.

Can anyone suggest any way(s) in which I can overcome this "mental barrier"?

On another note can I just also ask.

Would it seem weird if the quietest person you knew started to become more talkative? and how would you react?

[Nico Kempe]

Two words: baby steps

Years ago I was a very introverted person. I rarely talked or gave my opinions and wasn't sure about many things.
But somehow, in the years that followed, I turned around a bit. I became more talkative, wasn't nearly as afraid to voice my opinions and became more confident.
This probably happened because I got to know the people around me, worked at tech support (meaning having to talk to dozens of strangers every day, even though it's mostly following steps and on the phone), and went to the pub more often.

This didn't happen overnight though. You can go and jump into the deep right away, and that might work too, but it also might not.

It seems that such personal development grows exponentially. Meaning that once you've taken one small step, it will be double as easy to take the next step. This makes sense because each little victory in your progress gives you a rush of confidence and pride.

So go ahead and say hi to people, just two letters, h i. And next time at the roundabout, take the exit. You're in a car, at reasonably low speeds, with an instructor, so it's not that dangerous, well, not for you anyway

Another approach is to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Pretend you're someone else and say 'hello'. You know when you've had a couple of drinks you suddenly talk so much (even to strangers!) you can hardly shut up? Well, that person is still you, only because of the alcohol, the mind doesn't do those excessive calculations that induce fear and ucertainty.
Maybe it helps thinking that way. I don't mean getting yourself drunk, or even acting that way, but to visualize flicking a switch in your head to disable or lower your uncertainty for a moment.

That technique has often helped me. When I wrote an e-mail to some high placed chief in the company but wasn't sure if I should sent it that way, I just turned off the power to my mind for a second and clicked 'send'. And guess what? It turned out to be just the right thing. Sometimes you just need to override your mind and go for it.

[Swede]

I think the fact that failures are not failures but steps in the process of growth is a liberating thought. Have a growth mindset instead of a static one. This will remove most of your fears and that is what most mental barriers are constructed of.

The world is yours to be had! Try everything and try again! There is an exciting adventure ahead of you!

[hawkal]

Thank you for your replies they are most helpful.

[Murre]

Hi! I'm also learning to drive and today when I was driving with my dad he suggested that I could drive all the way home, and that includes some tricky areas. I was a little sceptical but decided to give it a try. Everythingl went fine until we came to a roundabout with more traffic than I had experienced before. I became uncertain and hit the brakes in the middle of the roundabout. This lead to me being very stressed and a lot of cars having to wait behind me.
As I think of it now I'm actually glad it happened. Although I could have asked my father to drive home instead. All negative things that happen are just feedback and point to what you are doing wrong. I just love that mindset

Good night