lets talk about willpower and persistence

[RUSSLA]

I've been doing a few willpower "drills" lately. I've been finding myself increasingly nacissistic lately, so i decided i wouldn't look in mirrors anymore. I went for about 4 days without looking at myself in any reflective surfaces, but eventually i broke and looked. after that it was like a damn being released and i went back to being almost as bad as i was before.

The funny thing is, i don't really consider myself that good looking and looking in the mirror sometimes makes me feel worse, depending on the light, but i do it anyways.

I figure i have the willpower and motivation to get started on pretty much anything i want, the problem is i lack persistence to carry through and make a real change in my life.

Like sometimes i'll psyche myself up for days weeks or even months, thinking of this thing i'm going to do and then once i get started, i'll find myself not enjoying it that much or finding it not what i expected it would be and just quit.

Anyone else have problems like this? how did you overcome them? thanks

[AnonymousOne]

Just keep trying. Whatever it is you're trying to do, make an honest attempt every day.

I personally like to keep a journal for this reason. It keeps you accountable to yourself to have to write down your progress every day.

[RUSSLA]

Originally Posted by AnonymousOne

Just keep trying. Whatever it is you're trying to do, make an honest attempt every day.

I personally like to keep a journal for this reason. It keeps you accountable to yourself to have to write down your progress every day.

yep thats pretty much what i'm doing.

It's hard sometimes when you experience nothing but negative reinforcement time and time again, every time you try something.

For example i tried to get over my fear of approaching women one week, i dedicated the entire week to it and i just got blown out of the water so much i eventually gave up.

But i recently bought think and grow rich and the chapter on persistence has really helped me. It allowed me to diagnose what my major problem was.

I did keep a journal, but my computer crashed recently and i haven't really gotten around to writing one by hand. The journal is actually really helpful though, gives you a feeling that real progress is being made.

[awakentransform]

I think rather than trying to change something completely or give up something completely, it's better to start small. For instance, start off by saying for 2 hours a day I won't look in the mirror (or whatever time period is good for you.) After you have had some success with that, you can build it up to half a day or whatever.

That way you can focus on successes rather than failure. All or nothing tends to be too much pressure in my opinion. It sets us up for failure and disappointment. If you fall, just get back up again~

Tianna

[Kaspian]

My opinion is that will power is to be used only in the short term, like a few hours or a couple days. Use will power strategically to make changes in your environment.

For the long term, I think internal motivation works much better. Why do you want to do X? How badly do you want to do X? Does the motivation truly come from inside, or did you choose it because you "should"? (For example: I "should" audition for orchestras, but I teach lessons because I feel like I'm making a positive difference in the lives of my students.)

With habits like cracking knuckles (or looking in a mirror), there's almost always some sort of internal reason we picked up the habit. If you deal with the internal reason first, it becomes easier to undo the habit. I have found that choosing not to crack my knuckles in the morning is much more successful than telling myself I will never do it again.