The Myth Of Self-Improvement

[funkybuddha]

"The self you wish to improve is the one doing the improving"

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think we are made up of different segments that can improve other segments? if so are these actual realites or just ideas at war with each other?


What do you think?

Personally I think 'self-improvement' is mental masturbation and comes from a place of fear..ie that we 'arent good enough' or 'something is wrong with me' , 'my life sucks'..it seems there may be something deeper going on there..not just bad habits..

please share your thoughts..

[Zoey Jordan]

I think you make a very good point. If we feel like we're not good enough, it's pretty difficult to feel mobilized to do anything, let alone, improve.

If I notice myself holding on to a self depreciating thought or negative emotion, I literally flip the switch....choose a lighter thought and hold on to it for at least 15 seconds. It enables me to feel lighter, more positive, have a deeper sense of grattitude for me, my life, my family, everything.

If I want to make changes, I approach it with a conscious positive state of thinking.

[SunnKali]

For me, "self-improvement" comes from a place of deep love and a yearning to stretch and grow and connect deeper with my source and the world and people around me.

It's more about learning how to be congruent with myself and as much as I can, bringing into my life the people and things that support me, and release the people and things that don't support me.

I intend to be self-improving into my dying breath.

[Jennihul]

I have to politely disagree. I am a successful "self-developer" and I never thought my life sucked. You can be happy and still seek to be happier. I think humans have more mental power than your idea gives them credit for.

Where would we be without that innate desire to make things, the world, our lives and our processes and ourselves better than they already are? We'd still be cavemen.

Not everyone has the capacity for introspection. Those who do can make self-development successful. But remember, we ARE more than one mind. We are a conscious and subconscious mind at the very least.

My conscious AND subconscious warn me that I could have done better when I choose to silently lambaste the man who parked over the line at the grocery making it difficult for me to get in my car. Then stew about it for awhile. Next time, I blow it off because I have self-developed.

My conscious and subconscious let me know in various ways that I am stagnating in an area in my life and it's time to leap out of the rut I have dug for myself. Or recognize ahead of time that a path can only lead to a destructive outcome.

Or the part of you that decides to go back to school or donate time or volunteer or give to charity. Or give up a bad habit or an illicit lover. Or choose a righteous pursuit. Or try and new hobby or get fired up to make more money.

But there are certainly a fair number of mental masturbators on forums like this. You can tell who they are when they show up in places designed for a successful positive mindset, which should be full of stories of success and ideas for how to implement, and instead just bitch and moan, talk about woes and in general cast a pallor of negativity and treat the forum like it's their personal Dear Abby.

There is no self help for those vampires though they persist in thinking they are trying to help themselves. They are like spirits trapped in between worlds. Like ghosts, they can access this world but they can do nothing about their "place" in life. Until they recognize their own mindset as the cause, they will never be "free."

Jennifer

[Mayo]

Reading self-help books and doing nothing constructive on your self IS mental masturbation, living the life and and applying knowledge is something different.

Just now i viewed video from Eben Pagan and although it is well suited to business topic(it is related to Eben's course) i don't think this would be the wrong section:
GuruMastermindBlog: The "Hidden History" of Information Product Marketing

[Ree]

Well, there's the ego. That may be what you refer to as "different segments." Don't know if I would call it a segment. I would say there are different aspects to us. If you're living unconsciously, you're identifying with the ego and you probably think that is all you are. If you're living consciously, you can observe the ego but you realize you are soooooo much more.

My opinion: The ego is not reality, it's an idea that we have mistaken for reality. It's amazingly gratifying to discover what you are not, and therefore what you truly are. Fear didn't lead me on this journey however. There was fear BEFORE I started. This was an urging that came from deep inside and I haven't experienced fear since the journey began

[Angela]

I don't here the phrase "self-improvement" much anymore, probably because it does imply what you're talking about -- that there is something wrong with you that needs to be fixed, which is a context that doesn't work for me in living a life I love. More often, like here, I hear the term "personal development" which I think does a better job of describing what I'm interested in: learning more about what I can do to feel really good, to live a life of purpose, to continually grow in every way possible, and to make a big difference in the lives of others.

I think an even better term for what I'm up to is: Self-Expansion.

[jawillie]

Speaking for myself, I just get bored and like to expand, so I like Angela's term of "Self-Expansion."

I went through a phase where I thought I had to "improve" but lately I feel okay with who I am. I don't "love" all aspects of myself, but eh... I'm okay. Until I get bored and seek to do some more expanding again.

[Jennihul]

'Improvement' doesn't imply something is wrong. It means to make something better than it is. Big difference.

Like Matisse just before he makes his last brushstroke. He has already created a masterpiece. It just needed that last stroke for it to be better.

Jennifer

[3nigma]

It really depends. For me, self improvement seems so fake. You are perfectly fine exactly how you are, unless it's SOMETHING you want to change. For example, losing 20 pounds is a worthy goal. But, when these new age speakers and such tell you that YOU need to change, that's just BS. Change should be YOUR decision, and on what AREAS you want change.

If you're constantly thinking about YOU that needs to change, you're going to become very hateful of yourself, and of the present moment. You're going to want to "leap" somewhere, and you won't be content with yourself the way you are. Now... again if you had to lose 20 pounds, you could have the attitude of "I'm fine just the way I am, but it's this belly fat that has to go." You can NEVER change YOU, the essence of your being, your consciousness. You can only modify behaviors, so if you're going to aspire to self improvement, think of it more as behavior improvement. Thought improvement is also another aspect, but it's not YOU that you're fixing, it's just your output of thoughts.

Something to keep in mind when starting so called "self improvement" is that

1. You will never be perfect. You will never reach "The Final Level." That's called death. So 30 years from now when half your life is gone and you're still not there yet, you have to remember that there's no peak to reach, and there never was. You can improve every hour of every day of every year of your life, but it won't bring you anywhere other than the benefits of those changes. Be prepared to never be content, except with the moment, but be excited about more changes.

2. That your expectations and assumptions about reality are usually wrong. 97% of the things we worry about never happen, and probably the same with the changes. You think you'll get somewhere doing this, but it'll lead you to a completely different place than you imagined prior to doing it. That, I think, is the excitement of life. Who wants to live in a world where everything that happens is completely expected and calculated?

3. There is something de-motivating about having a certain pattern everyday and doing the same things to get the results you want. For example, exercise routines. Whenever I begin one, I get so sick and bored of doing it that I quit around 2 months later, so there needs to be some variations between the things you're doing or else you'll slip back into old habits.

Good luck

[Swede]

Either we improve ourselves or we have to face the consequences of our imperfections.

[verbors]

To me, self improvement is the same as personal development or self expansion.

I think that it's impossible not to improve. Whenever you learn a piece of knowledge that you can use, you are essentially improving your ability in doing whatever task the knowledge is for.

Technically, there is no such thing as self-improvement. Self-improvement is just an opinion. Say if you think you improved yourself by sleeping less meaning you get more stuff done. Your friend might think you aren't improving. He/she might think that by sleeping less your health is failing, etc.

[agnostic]

There's a lot to the idea that self-improvement often starts from a position of being not good enough with the goal of reaching adequacy. This is a game you can never win. The trick here is to step out of the game and play another one with other rules.
This reminds me of a Buddha Quote:
"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."
The same is true for adequacy.