Back Tracking

[BEautifulMind24]

Hello Everyone,

I hope all is well with everyone. I wish you all the best with your travels in life and hope you all find whatever it is you are looking for.

The purpose for me joining is to communicate with people who wish to better themselves in every way possible. I often feel alone at times because I feel as if I am on this journey alone. I know that even among people we are alone. Physically no, psychologically yes. It is the truth. We share common interest and thoughts to feel a connection with someone or something.

I would like to hold onto the thoughts posted here to give me strength to go on, even in the worst of times. Persistence.

I am 24 years old. I have been living 3yrs since this past January. I am not alive all the time. It is difficult to remain like this. Unanswered question arise too often on my quest. Riddles, waiting to be solved.

About me: (the word below have taken me years of struggles and victories to understand. I have endured tremendous amounts of pain mentally to be where I am today.)

The Past/Present-
I come from nothing. I'm doing something to get something. To be somebody. In time I would like to become the best man I can become. Through my failures and victories I become closer to this man. One day if I'm persistent enough I will be this man.


Present/Future-
I came from nothing. I did something to get something. I became somebody. Through my failures and victories I became a better. Today because I was persistent I am a better man.

I come to you seeking guidance. I seem to be on and off track more than Id like to be. I am living wrong. It comes and goes. It is hard to sustain success and remaining on track.

It hit me hard tonight that I have to back track and start my life over again. I am thinking of earasing everything I am and beginning again with the tools I know work. Knowing I have to do this is difficult I have achieve great success at a young age. Though today I am not on top like I used to be. I understand it doesn't last. Its how you choose to deal with this and begin again. A very difficult thing to swallow.

I know I have to go back in time to what used to work, to remain diligent and scholarly to rise again. To reach my potential. It is hard knowing I have to begin again. This is hard to very hard for me to come to terms with this. Knowing I have to start again, lost days and hours have passed me by.

I seek freindship's and words to get me through this. I hope I can do the same for you. For I am not as self sufficent as I once was.

I know I will rise again and be victories in my battles and win the war in the end if I am strong and smart enough.

[AnonymousOne]

Hi!

That's all very vague. Perhaps you could be a little more specific about the difficulties you're facing?

[BEautifulMind24]

Hi,

I have a current issue I need to resolve, it will take some time. I will do my best to describe it.

I am 24 years old, I have been living 3 years since this past January. I have learned a great deal about myself and the world around me in this time period. I am faced with a set back: living wrong and having to step back and start again. Everyday we wake up and go through our routine and get through the day. Some days are better than others as we all know. It hit me pretty hard last night that I've been living wrong for some time now. Hence I am off track. I know how I function best as a person, I have tried myself over this 3 year period. Bob Seger says it best, "We try to remain the same." This is true, when we are functioning at out highest level we can understand what this really means. We also realize how much diligence this takes. I try to achieve optimal health everyday, it is difficult. What I'm really trying to say is that I have to earase all that I am and rebuild myself. I have to strip my identity down to nothing in order to move forward. So many things don't work currently. I know so much but yet nothing is working. I used to know more but I am in a difference situtation and faced with other issues. Basically, I am not living. The way we are intended to as a human. This has several levels of understanding and functionality. When we are not functioning properly we astray off course and find ourselves further away from ourselves than we'd like. Here's an analogy. You get on the horse and rid strong and hard with your hand held high. You know that you may fall and try to take preventitive measures to keep this from happening. You ride on your path which you see so clearly, so days not so much. You still ride in the direction you feel is best and know most of what to do. Other times you trust your intuition and learn from this ride and take it as a learning experience, hence growing as an individual. I have been riding but in the wrong direction. Some days I ride in the correct direction and ride the horse proudly, knowing I'm making my life better years down the road. There is a price I pay for this, lack of companionship with a women, good friends, no money, not going out and the list continues. These are prices I'm willing to pay if that means a better life for myself. However that is another story. I know what things work and don't work for me, that help me function at my optimal level. Realizing that I have not been living up to this is discouraging. I know I have to strip down to nothing only to rebuild myself back up into a better man. I have done this many times before, a cleansing period if you will. I think most men go through this or should. It hurts knowing I have been living wrong and realizing that I need to re-group and set a new course of action for success, this happens often to people of this kind. I have been there, I know. It is difficult to sustain excellence, it does not last. I have to learn how to deal with this better and see that it doesn't last and that it can be achieved again if I'm persistent enough. To conclude, the path I am on is wrong, I need to BACK TRACK onto a path I know more, a path which I have traveled in the past, one that worked for me. Knowing I have to regroup and start from scratch is disheartning. When I say this it means breaking down every aspect of my life to ensure I function fully. This could mean how I think (thought pattern) music I listen to (must be careful for it impacts us more than we know), who I socialize and speak to (this also impacts our mental stability, the clothes we wear, the way we present ourselves (dimenior) and the list continues. Stripping down to nothing only to rebuild from the ground up Earasing all that I am to find myself again. I have a saying sometime you have to loose yourself in order to find yourself; sometimes you have to go off in order to get back one. Further it means stripping down to high efficiency. I hope this helps explain my thoughts.

[AnonymousOne]

So, you're a rabid perfectionist. That about right? Maybe it's my lack of reading comprehension (or your lack of paragraphs), but I can't be certain that I fully understood you. Take the following with a grain of salt.

With that caveat out of the way, and assuming you were actually seeking advice, here's mine- chill. You'll never be perfect, and if you try to perfect every aspect of yourself at once you'll probably never even get close.

Stop worrying so much about the future. If you're sacrificing friendship, companionship, finances and more all for the sake of making a better life for yourself down the road... well that's just silly. Live now, or you'll more than likely regret it later.

[BEautifulMind24]

I think I'll do what you said. I new I should do that but didn't want to see that but your right. Whats the point of living if you can't live? Thanks.