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-   -   What is wrong with me? (http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/personal-effectiveness/16434-what-wrong-me.html)

pemba 03-17-2008 04:43 AM

What is wrong with me?
 
Hello everyone, I have a major problem and I need help.

I am not even sure how to expalin this but their is something wrong with my brain. I feel like like 2 different people by the way act normally and when I daydream or when I think. I have a hard time expressing what I am thinking into actual speech. I feel like my inner thought and me are not connected.

for example when i am into deep thought I am a completely diferent person in my mind, I seem alot smarter and articulate. But in reality I am horribly anti social and I cant even say 2 sentences to someone without getting nervous. I always forget simple vocabulary and I have horrible grammer even though english is my first language.

Tasaio 03-17-2008 05:26 AM

There's nothing wrong with your brain.
 
Your plight is common. There's nothing wrong with your brain. All you need is some training in articulation--and a dash of self-confidence.

Try building up your speaking skills...slowly. Try interacting with a computer audio program--answer the computer's questions, and see how you do.

If you don't have this problem when answering the computer questions...then you know it's confined to interactions with people.

And if that's so, then you're hardly unique. The standard strategies apply.

AnonymousOne 03-17-2008 07:12 AM

I'd like to concur with the above poster- I'm sure your brain is fine.

Let me guess, you're young right? It sounds to me like you lack self-confidence. Give it a couple years, and in the meantime just do your best.

Keith 03-17-2008 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pemba (Post 168128)
for example when i am into deep thought I am a completely diferent person in my mind, I seem alot smarter and articulate. But in reality I am horribly anti social and I cant even say 2 sentences to someone without getting nervous. I always forget simple vocabulary and I have horrible grammer even though english is my first language.

This is pretty common. Many people don't realise that speaking is a skill - they just assume that they can automatically translate any thoughts that form in their head into speech. Nope, it takes practice.

Personally, I recommend Toastmasters. It's a great place to practice speaking in a supportive atmosphere.

verbors 03-17-2008 04:14 PM

I know how you feel.

One way you can approach this is lose yourself. Don't try too hard during those occasion where you stumble. Try to let your instinct come out.

Don't worry about what you are going to say or do next, concentrate on what you are doing/saying right now.

Don't worry about what others are thinking. Don't worry about how stupid you sound, just concentrate on what you are doing now. (easier said then done, I know)

Keep this in mind: there is nothing wrong with you.

The Cloud 03-17-2008 08:21 PM

If there are 2 yous, which one is the real one?

Rockchick26 03-18-2008 03:17 AM

I have this problem too! Almost always when i'm talking to a guy i like,usually when i'm talking to friends and co workers,and even sometimes when i'm talking to my family. I know its because of nervousness and lack of confidence,and i just don't like talking LOL i am 1000 times better at typing and this is my chosen mode for communicating with people. It sucks,but is how i am,and how you are too. Looks like we both can benefit from some of this advice these other people gave!

Chado2423 03-19-2008 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Cloud (Post 168376)
If there are 2 yous, which one is the real one?

They both are. Everyone has seperate aspects of their personality.

The Cloud 03-19-2008 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chado2423 (Post 168959)
They both are. Everyone has seperate aspects of their personality.

Well, which one will you choose to be you?

Natsu 03-19-2008 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith (Post 168176)
This is pretty common. Many people don't realise that speaking is a skill - they just assume that they can automatically translate any thoughts that form in their head into speech. Nope, it takes practice.

Personally, I recommend Toastmasters. It's a great place to practice speaking in a supportive atmosphere.

I totally agree with these two posters. Speaking properly is a skill and must be mastered just like any other one. Not only that: a time will come when you will be articulate, but will find yourself shy and inarticulate again when nervous. You will also have to learn to overcome that. One thing is learning to speak and express yourself with correctness and passion... And another one is to learn to forget your fear of rejection or failure when doing so. The first requires skill training. The second, courage training, and you have to do that too.

As for me, I managed to "let loose" my courage and instinct by having fun. I am among the thousands who learnt to be less shy, more corageous and a better speaker by... role playing. AD&D, World of Darkness, Live-Action... That's how I did the greatest leap. I guess toastmasters is more professional, but role-playing is immensely fun.


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