Social Skills

[boston]

Can you guys give me any tips/resources on social skills? I'm in college and although I have friends, they're not like me at all...most of them are unpopular BECAUSE they are either mean, stingy, ultra-competitive, boring, or unhygenic. I have many friends in other groups, but I don't have one unified group of friends aside from these guys.

Also, what do you guys think of Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction" or "48 Laws of Power"? Some of the advice goes directly against what people like Pavlina or Covey would say.

[fourthdan]

Maybe you don't need a unified group of friends. Try dabbling into different groups by socially networking your way through your existing contacts, and see if there IS a group you want to be part of. But let being subscribed to no groups an option.

Social networking is tough - and it requires a LOT of effort, guts, organisation and oppurtunity seeking. I haven't found any one book that focusses on it yet, simply because I just applied common sense:
1) Every contact is a potential gateway to more contacts
2) Learn everything you can about everyone - common interests are your trump cards
3) systematically record contact information - phone numbers and birthdays, and don't forget (actually now that I think about it, Dale Carnegies "how to make friends..." and Napolean Hill's "Think and grow Rich" have lots of brilliant tips at social networking and the little things that go into it.


And about books like "the art of seduction" and "48 laws of power"... at the risk of being flamed by fans of these books, I'm just gonna say:
They have a lot of valid points, and some of them you can even apply. But IMHO they aren't written from a strategy / outlook that aims for spiritual (or even personal) advancement as well. Which is what Pavlina and Covey try to do.

Ok, let the flaming begin - please be gentle

[Bruno]

I have also never been part of a (social)group, at least not for very long. I like being free and dropping by whenever I feel like it, if they can accept that.

Main reasons:

• If I can't agree with something, I won't do it. Period.
• People are more likely to give you a static "tag" if you don't opt out once in a while. The tag pressures you to stick to (bad) habits that entertain or seem useful to the group. Conflict. I want to reach my full capacity.
• I have a wide spectrum of interests

[Bruno]

By the way, I read this book today:

"'How to get any job with any major" by Donald Asher.

Its a very helpful book and helps you put things in perspective.
It dedicates a couple of chapters to networking.
I should have read this book before I went to college.
It's about finding the right career, how to get the most out of your college years and how to get yourself a job after graduating. This book is useful for every student, whether you're into arts or physics. It also has a lot of "example" stories and it's very easy to read.

[Dave Kaminski]

What does it say about flunk-outs?

Originally Posted by Bruno

By the way, I read this book today:

"'How to get any job with any major" by Donald Asher.

Its a very helpful book and helps you put things in perspective.
It dedicates a couple of chapters to networking.
I should have read this book before I went to college.
It's about finding the right career, how to get the most out of your college years and how to get yourself a job after graduating. This book is useful for every student, whether you're into arts or physics. It also has a lot of "example" stories and it's very easy to read.

[Brutha]

Also, what do you guys think of Robert Greene's "The Art of Seduction" or "48 Laws of Power"? Some of the advice goes directly against what people like Pavlina or Covey would say.

Robert Greene doesn't write advice. He writes about the problem of knowledge, how things work.

In constrast Pavlina and Covey write about the problem of conduct, how people should act. (Sure a bit of Pavlinas writing is also about knowledge)

For that reason someone like Pavlina can recommend Robert Greene, without being inconsistent.