Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

freedomclub · 03-07-2008, 07:30 PM

I graduated in December '07. Since then I've had more time than any human being should ever have. I have zero responsibilities of any kind. I moved home so I have no living expenses. I have no bills to pay. I have 24 hours a day to do whatever I want and it's terrible!

So then why am I so afraid to get a job and give up that free time? The idea of working 8 hours a day instead of net surfing/eating/watching TV (terrible right?) seems just as bad. I can't figure out where I'm going wrong here.

You wouldn't think having all this free time would be a curse. I'm sure for some people it's actually a gift so why not me?

Help a confused man

silicon toad2000 · 03-07-2008, 08:24 PM

perhaps look at getting a job as an opportunity to learn rather than an opportunity to earn.

I think the key is spending your free time learning or contributing to society

Spartan · 03-07-2008, 09:26 PM

Wow all that free time to work on yourself. Why not join a gym, so you can get fit and strong - build a body for life, instead of wasting away on the couch!

Also, did you graduate from university? If so, what subject did you study? It's time to start looking for a career, everyone else has to and now it's your turn.

cardano · 03-07-2008, 10:34 PM

imho, you can take this opportunity to do anything you've always been wanting to do (assuming it's within reasonable costs, or take a fun side job to fund them). I have friends that are recent grads and a good amount are taking it slow, traveling, doing things they enjoy, finding themselves, etc.

mlc82 · 03-07-2008, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freedomclub

I graduated in December '07. Since then I've had more time than any human being should ever have. I have zero responsibilities of any kind. I moved home so I have no living expenses. I have no bills to pay. I have 24 hours a day to do whatever I want and it's terrible!

So then why am I so afraid to get a job and give up that free time? The idea of working 8 hours a day instead of net surfing/eating/watching TV (terrible right?) seems just as bad. I can't figure out where I'm going wrong here.

You wouldn't think having all this free time would be a curse. I'm sure for some people it's actually a gift so why not me?

Help a confused man

You could do what I'm doing- start working on a website (articles, building it, whatever) geared toward whatever you like to "waste" time doing... mine is going to be a big site geared toward PC Games, Bodybuilding/Fitness, and Coffee- if most of my immediate family weren't excited about seeing it (especially my mom), I'd include "Porn!" as well

That could be a 2nd site somewhere down the line to avoid awkwardness with my mother- I really don't want to hear "I agree son, that Janine sure is hot!" from my mom...

ladybug · 03-08-2008, 03:44 PM

Hi Freedomclub, I know it seems scary, but the reason you are procrastinating about this is because you are not confident in your abilities enough to present them to other people. What you do you like to do? Can you find a way to make money doing that? It doesn't have to be a 9-5 job. It can be freelance. If you are wondering how to do such a thing, start getting the word out about what you want to do. Talk with your friends, your family. Talk to the ones who would really be excited for you, they actually will help you gather work, in whatever it is that you want to do. The people that may say negative things about what it is that you want to do...just put them aside. Ignore them and do what it is that you want. Find your passion. When this starts working, it is absolutely amazing and then once you get a few things under your belt your confidence starts building and then you want to pursue more work. You get more ideas. You keep moving forward. Don't settle, just keep going. You can do it. I wish you all the best.

z1freeride · 03-08-2008, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug

Hi Freedomclub, I know it seems scary, but the reason you are procrastinating about this is because you are not confident in your abilities enough to present them to other people. What you do you like to do? Can you find a way to make money doing that? It doesn't have to be a 9-5 job. It can be freelance. If you are wondering how to do such a thing, start getting the word out about what you want to do. Talk with your friends, your family. Talk to the ones who would really be excited for you, they actually will help you gather work, in whatever it is that you want to do. The people that may say negative things about what it is that you want to do...just put them aside. Ignore them and do what it is that you want. Find your passion. When this starts working, it is absolutely amazing and then once you get a few things under your belt your confidence starts building and then you want to pursue more work. You get more ideas. You keep moving forward. Don't settle, just keep going. You can do it. I wish you all the best.

Yes, this is right on. Build your confidence by improving your skills. Or find a job that is within your comfort zone and improve upon your skills while you are there.

freedomclub · 03-08-2008, 09:03 PM

That's a pretty good call actually. I have a degree that I don't feel is very marketable, whether that perception is accurate or not. I am sort of down on my skill set and my ability to be useful to an employer.

Good food for thought.

Thanks everyone.

KTWILSON · 03-10-2008, 10:20 PM

I think your scared because you are walking into the unknown.

do a little research - you want to work in a place that is comfortable to you and you can make friends - find a company or gov agency you realy want to work for. don't take anything of course if you need cash right away a little job to hold you over.

it takes 6 mo to a year to find a job with the right income.

good luck kt

kpugh · 03-10-2008, 10:28 PM

I'll also add to what's already been stated by saying, "take it easy on yourself." Just because society expects you to graduate and start on a career, doesn't mean you have to. Maybe the reason you're "stuck" is because you haven't learned enough about yourself yet to be authentically drawn to some calling. Who are you? What are you interested in? What are your core values? And, how can you live your life in a way that demonstrates those values?

Who do you want to be?

ken nubo · 03-11-2008, 03:42 AM

Dear freedomclub,

We have no ****ing club why you're afraid.

Talk to yourself and try to rationalize why you're afraid.

Much love,
Ken Nubo

evelynlim · 03-11-2008, 04:02 AM

You know what, freedom club? I can identify with that feeling because I used to have it years ago. While I had a job then, I did not know what to do with my free time.

In my experience, the feeling arose because I was afraid to be lonely. I was not comfortable with being in the silence. I also realise now that I probably felt that way because I had no sense of purpose. I was not happy irregardless of the situation that I was in.

I learned to come to terms with being on my own since then and continually sought for purpose. I chose to fill my free time with activities that I enjoyed and in others, to seek more meaning in.

If you really have too much free time, find out what is it that you really want to do. Preferably it comes in the form of work that is engaging and stimulates learning. But it can start off as an interest and hobby. Once you get started, you won't be complaining anymore.

An ex-sufferer of the same condition,
Evelyn

evrgrn3 · 03-11-2008, 05:13 AM

Ask yourself truthfully the question you pose the forum:

"You wouldn't think having all this free time would be a curse. I'm sure for some people it's actually a gift so why not me?"

You do not need us for this -- just answer your own question and you will have the answer you need. The challenge is not the question...it is answering it honestly and dealing with what that means.

Zane · 03-11-2008, 11:39 AM

i think you've been doing nothing for a long time, then filled the free time by watching TV and on the internet make you feel too tired to get a job or to do something, i think u must stop these activities first, then try going out with friends or go to Gym or play some sports, stop Tv and internet for 1 week, you'll find out what to do. Tv and internet makes u lose your mind, i've tried many times by playing computer games through 7 hours in a raw, and it's terrible!

03-07-2008, 07:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
freedomclub Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 34	My free time is worthless - why am I so afraid to get a job? I graduated in December '07. Since then I've had more time than any human being should ever have. I have zero responsibilities of any kind. I moved home so I have no living expenses. I have no bills to pay. I have 24 hours a day to do whatever I want and it's terrible! So then why am I so afraid to get a job and give up that free time? The idea of working 8 hours a day instead of net surfing/eating/watching TV (terrible right?) seems just as bad. I can't figure out where I'm going wrong here. You wouldn't think having all this free time would be a curse. *I'm sure for some people it's actually a gift* so why not me? Help a confused man Last edited by freedomclub; 03-07-2008 at 08:43 PM.

03-11-2008, 05:13 AM	#13 (permalink)
evrgrn3 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 45	Answer your own question Ask yourself truthfully the question you pose the forum: "You wouldn't think having all this free time would be a curse. I'm sure for some people it's actually a gift so why not me?" You do not need us for this -- just answer your own question and you will have the answer you need. The challenge is not the question...it is answering it honestly and dealing with what that means.

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03-07-2008, 08:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
silicon toad2000 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 728	perhaps look at getting a job as an opportunity to learn rather than an opportunity to earn. I think the key is spending your free time learning or contributing to society

03-07-2008, 09:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Spartan Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England Posts: 422	Wow all that free time to work on yourself. Why not join a gym, so you can get fit and strong - build a body for life, instead of wasting away on the couch! Also, did you graduate from university? If so, what subject did you study? It's time to start looking for a career, everyone else has to and now it's your turn.

03-07-2008, 10:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
cardano Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 40	imho, you can take this opportunity to do anything you've always been wanting to do (assuming it's within reasonable costs, or take a fun side job to fund them). I have friends that are recent grads and a good amount are taking it slow, traveling, doing things they enjoy, finding themselves, etc.

03-08-2008, 03:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
ladybug Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 59	Hi Freedomclub, I know it seems scary, but the reason you are procrastinating about this is because you are not confident in your abilities enough to present them to other people. What you do you like to do? Can you find a way to make money doing that? It doesn't have to be a 9-5 job. It can be freelance. If you are wondering how to do such a thing, start getting the word out about what you want to do. Talk with your friends, your family. Talk to the ones who would really be excited for you, they actually will help you gather work, in whatever it is that you want to do. The people that may say negative things about what it is that you want to do...just put them aside. Ignore them and do what it is that you want. Find your passion. When this starts working, it is absolutely amazing and then once you get a few things under your belt your confidence starts building and then you want to pursue more work. You get more ideas. You keep moving forward. Don't settle, just keep going. You can do it. I wish you all the best.

03-08-2008, 09:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
freedomclub Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 34	That's a pretty good call actually. I have a degree that I don't feel is very marketable, whether that perception is accurate or not. I am sort of down on my skill set and my ability to be useful to an employer. Good food for thought. Thanks everyone.

03-10-2008, 10:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
KTWILSON Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3	I think your scared because you are walking into the unknown. do a little research - you want to work in a place that is comfortable to you and you can make friends - find a company or gov agency you realy want to work for. don't take anything of course if you need cash right away a little job to hold you over. it takes 6 mo to a year to find a job with the right income. good luck kt

03-10-2008, 10:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
kpugh Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Boulder, CO Posts: 59	I'll also add to what's already been stated by saying, "take it easy on yourself." Just because society expects you to graduate and start on a career, doesn't mean you have to. Maybe the reason you're "stuck" is because you haven't learned enough about yourself yet to be authentically drawn to some calling. Who are you? What are you interested in? What are your core values? And, how can you live your life in a way that demonstrates those values? Who do you want to be?

03-11-2008, 03:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
ken nubo Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 500	Dear freedomclub, We have no ****ing club why you're afraid. Talk to yourself and try to rationalize why you're afraid. Much love, Ken Nubo

03-11-2008, 04:02 AM	#12 (permalink)
evelynlim Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Singapore Posts: 158	You know what, freedom club? I can identify with that feeling because I used to have it years ago. While I had a job then, I did not know what to do with my free time. In my experience, the feeling arose because I was afraid to be lonely. I was not comfortable with being in the silence. I also realise now that I probably felt that way because I had no sense of purpose. I was not happy irregardless of the situation that I was in. I learned to come to terms with being on my own since then and continually sought for purpose. I chose to fill my free time with activities that I enjoyed and in others, to seek more meaning in. If you really have too much free time, find out what is it that you really want to do. Preferably it comes in the form of work that is engaging and stimulates learning. But it can start off as an interest and hobby. Once you get started, you won't be complaining anymore. An ex-sufferer of the same condition, Evelyn

03-11-2008, 11:39 AM	#14 (permalink)
Zane Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 58	i think you've been doing nothing for a long time, then filled the free time by watching TV and on the internet make you feel too tired to get a job or to do something, i think u must stop these activities first, then try going out with friends or go to Gym or play some sports, stop Tv and internet for 1 week, you'll find out what to do. Tv and internet makes u lose your mind, i've tried many times by playing computer games through 7 hours in a raw, and it's terrible!

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums