I could use some advice

[Groovebox]

A lot of this is probably going to sound very cliche, but I flat out feel stuck. I'm 25 years old making mediocre pay and feel like I've missed most of my window to develop myself into a successful person. I started college young and stopped going for several reasons, and now I can't help but think that if I try to get a college degree now I'll be 30 years old before I can actually begin looking for a decent career. I like my job to a degree, but I can't get over this feeling I have that I need to be doing something that is making major difference in other peoples lives, such as being a firefighter or police officer.
This leads to more of my problems. I also can't get over the feeling that I've effectively obliterated any chance of a good career doing something that I like due to past mistakes. My credit is abysmal, which perpetuates my lack of confidence, despite my current efforts to rebuild myself. I've tested the waters a little bit with the military(Air Force), and after doing some research I'm unsure if I would even be taken considering my bad credit, plus a history of taking antidepressants for about a year in my early 20's. This also effects my confidence with trying to persue a relationship since most girls my age are beginning to measure up partners based on their ability to provide for a family etc. I basically feel unworthy if I start to have thoughts about trying to find a girlfriend, on top of the fact that I'm already a somewhat shy person.

Sorry for the long post. I'm just feeling incredibly clueless right now, and could use any advice that anyone may have, and I probably needed to get a few things off of my chest in the process.

[Dreamlife Hero]

Hi Groovebox,

I don't know if this will cheer you up but I felt exactly the same when i was 29!!

I'd split up with a long-term girlfriend, had debts and bad credit and had lost my job...and I was going to be 30!

Before I was 30 my life was turned upside down and I met the girl of my dreams, moved to a different city and started my own business which quickly flourished.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never know what is around the next corner of your life waiting for you.

Although you think you're old - you're really really not. And when you're 35 you'll look back and realize all the things that are possible in a few years.

Keep hope. Most people have a bad credit rating and debts. You'd be surprised how many people have taken anti-depressants at some time.

And as for being shy - lots of women love that quality.

My advice would be Take Action and follow your dreams. Even if you spent the next 10 years establishing your career you'd still be young!

You haven't missed your window. It's there in front of you right NOW.

Best Luck and hope this helps somewhat.

DLH

[sheffy4]

Originally Posted by Dreamlife Hero

Although you think you're old - you're really really not. And when you're 35 you'll look back and realize all the things that are possible in a few years....


...My advice would be Take Action and follow your dreams. Even if you spent the next 10 years establishing your career you'd still be young!

You haven't missed your window. It's there in front of you right NOW.

Best Luck and hope this helps somewhat.

DLH

As Steve Pavlina says, the time is going to pass anyway. Do what you want with your time!

[bravebluemice]

Originally Posted by Groovebox

but I can't get over this feeling I have that I need to be doing something that is making major difference in other peoples lives, such as being a firefighter or police officer.

The question you need to ask is it a major difference in other's lives, or a major difference in your own.

If you're truly passionate about what you do, whether it's fighting fires or weaving baskets, it's important to someone. I wouldn't be able to go get fresh eggs every morning without my basket. So someone somewhere has made a dramatic difference in how I eat breakfast every morning.

So the real question is: Who are you? What do you want?

I was in your exact situation last year. The only real difference is that I'm married. The wife and I were up to our eyeballs in debt, I'm uneducated (by that I mean like yourself started college early and didn't finish...), and I've held down a couple of useless jobs, not really following a career path. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I aimlessly searched the job postings, pointing at them saying "I could do that.... It wouldn't be so bad..." But the fact of the matter was, I didn't have any passion about any of them.

Now I've turned the ship about. I'm pursuing the dream of being a published Sci-Fi author. I realized that the difference I wanted to make was within my grasp, I just had to GRAB IT... Sure, money's still tight, stress is still high, but there's a really good feeling to knowing who you are and what you want, and that everything's gonna be okay, you just have to want the change.

Here's a question: What puts a fire in your belly? What turns you into a hyperactive five year old?

[astra]

Firstly, bad credit history only lasts 7 years. Then it's gone. A few bad debts isn't the end of everything. Besides, what kind of job requires you to pass a credit check? I've never heard of one, so I'm curious. I'd also be surprised if a potential date would ask for one either. Let's be honest here, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who would dump you for a bad credit history? Would you dump someone for that reason? Yes, other things matter in a relationship, but the most important thing is love and friendship.

As for the military, if they didn't take people because they took anti-depressants a few years ago, I reckon they'd be seriously pressed to find many new recruits. Bottom line is, you don't know if you don't try, so if you really want to do it, apply. The worst they can do is say no, right? And you're prepared for that anyway. Same with firefighters and police. Why not get in contact with your local stations and see if you can talk to someone about career options. As well as telling you how to get into the field, they can also tell you what it's like in the job, which will help you determine if this is something you'd really like to do in life.

If you decide you want to go back to college, it might not take as long as you think. You can do a diploma instead of a bachelor, in half the time. It gives you a starting point to move into the career you want, and there's always the option for further study. People get so hung up on the big qualifications, but in many fields, a minor qualification is just as good for starting-off purposes. Check out your local college.

Back to the credit history, I also don't have the best history. But last year I decided i'd pay off all my debts (which I done half-way through the year) and now have a pretty nice nest egg building up. I sacrificed alot of 'wants', but now I'm free. I may have trouble getting a new phone contract, but who really cares? That doesn't affect my day-to-day life, i already have a phone! Besides, when you had debts in your early twenties, if your history stays clear for a few years, most creditors will put it down to gaining maturity and skip over the old debts.

[Groovebox]

First off, I really appreciate the replies

Dreamlife Hero: Your post was actually very inspiring. It's not so much that I feel "old", but it does seem that the older I get it seems like the world around me is accelerating and I wish I had more to show for myself. Everyone always talks about how time flies, but for me it just seems way too fast, and seems to trivialize things a lot more. For instance, I'm not a religious person, but I still enjoy Christmas for a time to see family and for nostalgic reasons; however when it seems like Christmas just went and it's already back, it starts to feel so much like a routine just like getting up and brushing your teeth in the morning. I suppose a new perspective could either fix the feeling of time passing so fast, or teach me to accept that I have no control over it.



bravebluemice: I understand your point and I don't mean to say that one job is more important than another job. Issues of preserving life or having a more direct effect on helping other people's lives are things that I tend to gravitate to more. I have definite passions, it's just that some are crazy and some are more realistic. One of the main reasons I would be interested in the police would be to eventually move into a career as a detective, something I've always had a huge interest in. I've also been playing guitar since I was about 10 years old, but a career in music is one of the hardest things to pursue.


astra: No I certainly wouldn't judge a partner based on her credit history, but it just seems that from my observations women can be very critical of such issues, and like to measure up men based on such things. They might think "how could I have a family with this person anytime in the near future without the ability to get a home loan, or have a healthy income to support a family?".
The military can be very picky about their recruits. Any history of antidepressants requires a medical waiver, which can sometimes be a tricky process. The recruiters make it seem like it's a lot easier to get in than it actually is. Not to mention they also run a credit check.
I have applied at my local fire department but I will probably need to branch out as it is very difficult to get on. They accept around 30 people out of 5000 applicants based on a general aptitude test, and most of them end up being military since ex-military get additional points on their test scores. Fire, Police, and Military are three examples of jobs that usually run a credit check before they employ you.

[Shazza]

Hi, I'm new to the forum but when I read your thread I was intrigued and a little sad. I wonder if you suffer from an underlying lack of self-confidence? Maybe labelled as an underachiever most of your life or afraid to try anything in case you fail - well, that pretty much sums me up actually, which is why I liked your thread - so forgive me if I'm way off, but I feel I might have something to say that may help.
I am 36 years old and spent over 9 years in a job I didn't really like, for little pay, under a boss who was bullying, and (dare I say it) less intelligent than me (arrogant I know). I've spent most of my life being unconfident, and shy, and watching everyone else get on with their lives, meet boys (I am female!), and achieve great salaries. I have a brother who is brilliantly successful and rich. I am married now, and have been for 13 years - my husband liked me because I was shy!! (a testament to the fact that people are attracted to all different kinds of people). I was a penniless student and he was unemployed when we met - I wasn't interested in how much money he had, or might have in future. The attraction for me was a sense of humour and nice eyes. I dropped out of college in my second year and trained as a secretary - working for the NHS for those 9 years mentioned. Then, I was injured in work, lost my job one year after buying my first house, and got into debt. I am now labelled "disabled" and haven't done paid work for 7 years. Trust me, this is going to get more positive!! Right now, at 36 I am about to sit my final year exams for a law degree - so, no, you're really not too old to go back to college and re-train; I did my course part-time in the evenings for the same amount of time any law graduate studies, so you don't have to give up work. I work voluntary in a welfare benefits organisaion - which I love, and this gives me more satisfaction than any paid work I've ever done, because people really benefit from the help I give. The most positve and upbeat thing I can say to you is life isn't so much what you make it, but what you dream of making it. All I ever wanted when I was in that job I hated was to find a way out, take a different path, but I relied on the money and I couldn't see any way out - but then, fate intervened and a door opened when I least expected. A positve attitude to life is more valuable than any salary; dare to dream, and keep dreaming - because it is those dreams we create in our minds that give us the confidence,drive, and motivation to shape our own futures. You don't have to worry about how it will happen, or when, just know that it will happen, and beleive it - this applies to every avenue of your life - relationship, career etc. Dream what you want, and make it happen. For the record, I am an aetheyst, and naturally analytical of everything - and also, a once depressive with a history of psychological intervention. Depressive people are not "disabled" - they are most often sensitive, caring, and thoughtful individuals with a popensity for deep-thinking that few others possess; it can be a gift if you use it positively; you learn more about yourself by looking inwards, and the more you learn about yourself and the way you see life and think about life, the more you can find ways to develop and grow. On the outside you may apper shy, but I bet the reality is that you have plenty of confidence on the inside. Turn whatever you see as a negative to a positive, and whatever you feel is impossible, dream as if it is already posible and you have already achieved it. The harder you dream, the more detailed you dream, the more real it becomes. I wish you every happiness.

[ken nubo]

Pffft, 25 years old is nothing. You're still a youngin. Read more books and look into making part-time income online.