Talking about your goals/plans

[3nigma]

I hate it when I do this. It always seems to happen, even if I tell myself beforehand that I'll keep my own personal goals and plans a secret from people. But then you know how it goes, someone asks something, leading to something else, which leads you to divulge your plans without even realizing it.

When I do this, I somehow lose motivation in the actual goal. Because someone else knows about it, it becomes meaningless. It's as if you know something amazing and no one else knows about it, then you let it slip out and suddenly you're not the only one that knows anymore and whatever it was becomes just another mundane thing.

Also, it's sometimes humiliating. Other people go "What, you're gonna do THAT? Haha!" And you just kind of sulk and go "...Yeah." But what about when people close to you want to know? Do you tell them? Do you keep it a secret? Same thing with relationships. When I get a girlfriend, I don't tell anybody until it gets found out eventually.

[norbert]

I understand your concern. On the other hand, while you're talking about the goal, you are focusing on it, giving it more energy. The more you do it, the stronger it gets. I strongly think it is essential to talk about your goals. You not only want to talk about them, you want to write them down on paper, type them into forums etc to have something in the physical world (i.e. not only in your imagination).

"Where attention goes, energy flows and results show" -- T. Harv Eker about manifestation

You also need to take action of course.

People will stop complaining once you prove them you reach your most important goals (or you simply won't care anymore). Successful people learn from failures. If you talk about a goal and you don't go for it anymore, that's fine, as long as there's another goal you are approaching. Don't settle, that's what matters.

[3nigma]

Originally Posted by norbert

I understand your concern. On the other hand, while you're talking about the goal, you are focusing on it, giving it more energy. The more you do it, the stronger it gets. I strongly think it is essential to talk about your goals. You not only want to talk about them, you want to write them down on paper, type them into forums etc to have something in the physical world.

Yes, but Personal Development speakers such as Brian Tracy say that you should never talk about your goals or show them to other people. I forget why, but I think it's draining of your energy. Also undermines your goal, and other people can bring you down quickly as well... most people just don't actually want you to succeed, they're rather see you fail, as sad as it's true.

[Joely]

Originally Posted by 3nigma

Yes, but Personal Development speakers such as Brian Tracy say that you should never talk about your goals or show them to other people. I forget why, but I think it's draining of your energy. Also undermines your goal, and other people can bring you down quickly as well... most people just don't actually want you to succeed, they're rather see you fail, as sad as it's true.

I've had the opposite experience. I talk about my goals and what I'm doing all the time and people are keen and excited by it all. I get a great deal of support from friends to help me through the times when I'm full of doubt and uncertainty over the whole thing. At the same time, discussing having these goals has encouraged some of my friends to go off and make radical new changes in their lives.

I guess it's all down to you - if you expect to get a bad reception, chances are you will find one. There will often be people who feel jealous or mock you for doing what you really want or making dreams happen. That's their problem, not yours. I talk about what I do and want to do and I find the majority of time the reception is incredibly positive and supportive. In fact, it's through talking about my goals that I've been able to progress with them as others have wanted to help me out in various ways.

[Angela]

I think one of the reasons that energy and motivation dissipates when you talk about achieving your goals is that your goals are all about you, and others are not inspired by that, and that reflects for you, too -- you are not really inspired by goals that are all you, all the time. A goal that's all about your own egotistical personal gain? So what, who cares? That's not enough even to keep yourself going! Without inspiration -- without the breath of life -- of course momentum would fall flat. (When I say "you", I mean "one", not you personally.)

Which is not to say that you're on the wrong track with your goal. Let's say your goal is to be in a loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR). You tell people, "I want a girlfriend, so that I can have sex and feel safe and be loved and not have to date anymore." So what, who cares? But what if you tell people, "I would love to be in a LLTMBR. I see an LLTMBR as a glorious avenue through which she and I can learn to become our best selves, to forge our most powerful missions in the world, and to make a huge difference in generating love, understanding, freedom and joy for ourselves and for everyone we come in contact with." What if you are able to communicate your goal to others and to yourself in such a way that just speaking it generates the qualities you're committed to, qualities that make a difference? That's inspiration, that keeps momentum rolling, and that will have people introducing you to some pretty amazing women.

When you're generating something inspiring, it doesn't live just for you. It lives for everyone.

[Scooter]

Originally Posted by 3nigma

Yes, but Personal Development speakers such as Brian Tracy say that you should never talk about your goals or show them to other people. I forget why, but I think it's draining of your energy. Also undermines your goal, and other people can bring you down quickly as well... most people just don't actually want you to succeed, they're rather see you fail, as sad as it's true.

I believe Brian speaks about keeping goals a secret for one major reason. Most people are no good at goals period. They never write them down, they have no comfort level in setting goals and added pressure from family or peers just makes it that much harder.

Once you are experienced at setting goals then as norbert suggests, talking about your goals is focus. Personally I talk about mine all the time. The ones that I fail in achieving are the goals I stop talking about. You can look at my Blog to get an idea of my goals. They are no small feat.

You really need to do what you need to do and if sharing them with people deflated the goal, maybe you expected something in sharing it and did not fulfill that expectation, maybe you were looking for external validation and when you didn't get it, you lost drive.

A true goal or purpose cannot be destroyed by mere conversation, however, it can be fortified and cast in iron by means of discourse.

Scooter

[Chado2423]

no goals. no plans.