Help me With Ranking Importance of Duties.

[mazhar]

I am having trouble deciding which one should i give preference the most, specially when i can choose only one thing to do at a particular time.



1. My BBA Education (which i'm trying very much for & which will get me to the stablished position i dream of)

2. My current source of income, in which i am a keyboardist of a musical band (i love music very much & this the source of the money that i use for the most necessary needs of me & my family)

3. My girlfriend (who i love so much & desparately want a lasting realationship)



But i am unable to successfully do any one of them cause i can't decide which one to do first, or to choose any one of them.



Thanks for reading my post.

[astra]

Hi! This must be so hard for you, feeling like you're torn between so many important things.

The first thing I want to tell you is that no one can tell you the right order for you, it's something you have to choose for yourself. You need to step up, take responsibility for your choices, and be accountable for your decisions. It might sound a little harsh at first, but consider if I told you that you should prioritise your current stream of income, then your girlfriend, then your studies. 5 years later, perhaps your girlfriend is sick of being second to your income, and you're not doing very well as a keyboard player... You look back, realise you should have prioritised it 'girlfriend, study, income' and you blame me for getting it wrong. According to my values, I gave you the right choice for me, not for you according to your values.

A personal effectiveness seminar I went to suggested finding a list of values, narrowing it down to your top ten, and then cutting your top ten to 5 (by crossing out similar etc) and order them 1-5. You can then prioritise by putting each thing on your list next to it's corresponding value. Steve's done up a great list of values here http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm , although it might take you a while to get through! I'd probably read his post here http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles...r-values-1.htm first though.

I hope this helps, good luck!

[SkateItsGreat]

I think education is your best bet. Education will open up income opportunities for you. with income and an education you can easily find another girlfriend too. These decisions are very hard and none of it is easy. Best thing to do is to sleep on it and make the decision in the morning.

[mazhar]

Thanks astra i'm working on the list of values.

[mazhar]

I also sometimes think education should be all i'm working on, but mt reality is if i not earn i'll not be able to finish my study.
On the other hand, i absolutely disagree with the ur this statement

Originally Posted by SkateItsGreat

with income and an education you can easily find another girlfriend too.

Cause i feel that is not a fair thing to do or to think about a relationship that u dream to live happily ever after

although thanks for ur opinion

[sheffy4]

Originally Posted by mazhar

1. My BBA Education (which i'm trying very much for & which will get me to the stablished position i dream of)

2. My current source of income, in which i am a keyboardist of a musical band (i love music very much & this the source of the money that i use for the most necessary needs of me & my family)

3. My girlfriend (who i love so much & desparately want a lasting realationship)



But i am unable to successfully do any one of them cause i can't decide which one to do first, or to choose any one of them.



Thanks for reading my post.

It looks like you have already put them in the order that is important to you!

[Adrian]

I think what astra suggested is a great idea - come up with a list of values, and use those values to prioritize what you want to go after.

But I also think that your gut feeling about what you want to accomplish supersedes any kind of value list and prioritizing you make. You're gonna get three totally different outcomes if you focus on education vs. girlfriend vs. keyboardist. It almost boils down to what sort of life do you want to have. Do you want to go towards your education and finish that degree so you can get a higher paying, stable job, or do you want to forgo that and work on your relationship with your girlfriend?

If after all of your thinking you really really can't decide, pick one, go with it for a (long) while (enough to test it out), and if that option doesn't work, try something else. If you ran out of options or the options dissipated by the time you choose to try another, then you'll have to find new options! Better to go through something like that then to always wonder "What if?", IMO.

[mazhar]

Sorry Adrian, may be ur thoughts could work for ones who have more than enough to lose on ur way of this bet.
but for me, my everything is on a bet, & i have no option of a mistake.
Thank a lot for ur reply.