Self Esteem- Toastmaster speech

[Freelancer]

I want some comments on a speech I've just written and planning to do the next time I get a chance to speak.

Its about Self Esteem, although this is only a small part of the many things I believe about existence, its a piece of the puzzle I only recently figured out after reading Ayn Rand. At a lot of points I disagree with Rand and on others I agree. She has a lot of truth to her message and I tried to capture a small part of this in a speech.

The cloud, don't come in with spiritual matters. I know what you are talking about, its not the purpose of this speech.
I'd like to keep this strictly on what I can improve on this speech.



Self Esteem

First I’d like to say that you will most likely disagree with a lot that I’ll be talking about right now. That’s ok, I’m not asking you to agree only to consider my points and make a decision based on your own consciousness and reasoning.

In our current society a lot of people lack self esteem, they cover it up with false persona’s and false reasoning. You can see it around when you walk on the street, a sure sign of low self esteem is a face that looks the life has drained away from it. A sure sign of low self esteem is a person who lives in ever lasting misery while telling everyone around them there life is great.

It’s a plague right now and the cure is simple yet difficult to follow. Personally I’ve had many instances where I break my own rules and in turn suffer.

But first what is Self Esteem? Self Esteem as defined by the dictionary is;
Pride in oneself or Self-respect

The simple solution to increase self esteem is to rely on no other judgement than your own. To allow nobody to determine the path you wish to walk. That is where Self Esteem arises from.

The hint is hidden in the dictionary, Pride in oneself. This pride can only ever come if you are the sole person with all the responsibility. In this day and age society takes up responsibility. People must be saved from themselves whenever possible, they can’t take care of themselves this seems to imply.

Responsibility is considered a burden, something to bear and painfull. It’s a place where stress arises from. The image that comes to mind is atlas carrying the world on his shoulders, being responsible for everyone. The only time responsibility is a burden is when you are taking responsibility for other people's lifes. When you take responsibility solely for your own life it becomes a source of joy, joy of knowing that YOU are in control of your life. Not society, not your parents, not your peers. YOU are the only one responsible for YOUR life. And from that pride and joy arises because you KNOW that all your achievements are yours alone.

If you wish to be able to respect yourself then you must live by your own code of value’s. You must obey your own Code that you aquired through reasoning. You are not a slave to what others tell you, you are a free person, free to chose whatever you wish.

And from this self respect and pride will come, self esteem wil return and your life will take on a new direction.

Low self esteem arises when you compromise your own value’s to please other people. The result in most cases is that both suffer, there self esteem is lowered because you assumed responsibility over there life and your self esteem is lowered because you did not follow the things you value.

Lets assume the responsibility to cure our low self esteem, lets start healing ourselves right now. Lets stop giving away responsibility like it’s a burden, lets accept it fully and enjoy its presence. This is your birthright, nobody can take it away from you unless you allow them to.

At this time and age where we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to unconsciously take away the responsibility of chosing how to spend your money. In this time and age where society as a whole is more then willing to assume responsibility.
This ability to take responsibility for yourself is more important then ever before.

Lets be the ones who assume responsibility and walk with a head held up high. Lets be the ones with a impeccable self esteem. Proud of our abilities. Proud of our minds. Proud of living on this beautifull planet.

[Fullcrum]

Cool mate!

Be in massive state when you deliver this speech - it'll be sensational. Lightning will come out of your ass and strike all the toastmasters dudes in the forehead if you deliver this message effectively.

[Joely]

This is really fascinating - and something I need to read as I struggle with self-esteem issues. What I've found though is that pride is often seen as negative, regardless of responsibility. People don't feel pride because they associate it with selfishness and egotism. I've spent a lifetime feeling guilty that I have talents, gifts and success, and subconsciously see being proud as being selfish and grandiose - as though I'm "better than others". I, like a lot of people I know, beat themselves up constantly because they think being proud of who they are will make them bad people.

I do agree though that we have a massive issue with responsibility in our society. It's one of my high-horse topics that we're more interested in suing and claiming money regardless of our own culpability than taking responsibility for our own actions. I've never seen that responsibility and self-esteem tied together in this way, so it's a very interesting speech indeed!

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Fullcrum

Cool mate!

Be in massive state when you deliver this speech - it'll be sensational. Lightning will come out of your ass and strike all the toastmasters dudes in the forehead if you deliver this message effectively.

Yeah I'll be sure to first shoot lightning out of my ass before I say a word. That way they know whats coming.

This is really fascinating - and something I need to read as I struggle with self-esteem issues. What I've found though is that pride is often seen as negative, regardless of responsibility. People don't feel pride because they associate it with selfishness and egotism. I've spent a lifetime feeling guilty that I have talents, gifts and success, and subconsciously see being proud as being selfish and grandiose - as though I'm "better than others". I, like a lot of people I know, beat themselves up constantly because they think being proud of who they are will make them bad people.

I do agree though that we have a massive issue with responsibility in our society. It's one of my high-horse topics that we're more interested in suing and claiming money regardless of our own culpability than taking responsibility for our own actions. I've never seen that responsibility and self-esteem tied together in this way, so it's a very interesting speech indeed!

Pride isn't necesarrily negative, it could be though. The thing is that if your proud of something you did not achieve then yes pride is negative and will destroy you. If your proud of who you are at the core of your being it will strengthen yourself and lift you even higher. If you take responsibility for your own life at look at it objectively then any pride that comes from this will lift you up.

If selfishness is evil then 99.99% of the people alive are evil, do you believe that?
Ask anybody if they are willing to give everything they own away with nothing in return (not even the satisfaction of knowing it is used for good). If they decline they are selfish, is this bad?

Now obviously you can take selfishness to far, you are still dealing with other people and you need to take them into consideration. However this should only be done based on your own judgement for your own enjoyment, not some guilt forced on you.



I can't claim ownership of this idea, personally I got it from Ayn Rand. I just removed some parts from the rest of the philosophy.

[Joely]

Originally Posted by Freelancer

Yeah I'll be sure to first shoot lightning out of my ass before I say a word. That way they know whats coming.


Pride isn't necesarrily negative, it could be though. The thing is that if your proud of something you did not achieve then yes pride is negative and will destroy you. If your proud of who you are at the core of your being it will strengthen yourself and lift you even higher. If you take responsibility for your own life at look at it objectively then any pride that comes from this will lift you up.

If selfishness is evil then 99.99% of the people alive are evil, do you believe that?
Ask anybody if they are willing to give everything they own away with nothing in return (not even the satisfaction of knowing it is used for good). If they decline they are selfish, is this bad?

Now obviously you can take selfishness to far, you are still dealing with other people and you need to take them into consideration. However this should only be done based on your own judgement for your own enjoyment, not some guilt forced on you.



I can't claim ownership of this idea, personally I got it from Ayn Rand. I just removed some parts from the rest of the philosophy.

I wasn't trying to argue that selfishness is bad as some kind of universal truth that I wholeheartedly believe, I'm saying it's very often a subconscious belief that people hold because it's conditioned by society or parents, and I happen to be one of those people. I am working on eradicating that belief at the moment. All I wanted to express in my response was the idea that very often pride is something that people with self-esteem issues struggle with because they have come to believe that it's a selfish and negative thing - it's not a belief they necessarily want or choose to hold, it's one with which they've been raised and struggle to overcome.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Joely

I wasn't trying to argue that selfishness is bad as some kind of universal truth that I wholeheartedly believe, I'm saying it's very often a subconscious belief that people hold because it's conditioned by society or parents, and I happen to be one of those people. I am working on eradicating that belief at the moment. All I wanted to express in my response was the idea that very often pride is something that people with self-esteem issues struggle with because they have come to believe that it's a selfish and negative thing - it's not a belief they necessarily want or choose to hold, it's one with which they've been raised and struggle to overcome.

Yes I realize this, that was my attempt to help you overcome that belief by generating some doubt about it and maybe prompt you to look deeper.

[Joely]

I already know it's not true, and my expression of it in posts at the moment is kind of an acceptance that's it's there. I've found acceptance of a thing, when I know it's not me, is the quickest route to getting rid. Thanks for the helping hand!

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Joely

I already know it's not true, and my expression of it in posts at the moment is kind of an acceptance that's it's there. I've found acceptance of a thing, when I know it's not me, is the quickest route to getting rid. Thanks for the helping hand!

Alright cool.

Anybody has comments about the actual content?

[Brutha]

First, what project/manual are you working on?

1)In general we start a toastmaster speech in our club with:
"Fellow Toastmasters, dear Guests"
But I don't know how you do it in your club.

First I’d like to say that you will most likely disagree with a lot that I’ll be talking about right now. That’s ok, I’m not asking you to agree only to consider my points and make a decision based on your own consciousness and reasoning.

2) Don't open a speech like that. Just cut that part out. Take responsibilty for bringing the message to your audience. Don't say them: You won't agree with me either way, but at least listen to me.

A example or a good quote (Find the famous quotes you need, ThinkExist.com Quotations. is a good source) might give your speech a strong start.
Be bold.

It’s a plague right now and the cure is simple yet difficult to follow. Personally I’ve had many instances where I break my own rules and in turn suffer.

3) Your speech lacks examples or mental images. Describe one of those instances. That creates rapport. You might use that story to start your speech.

Lets be the ones who assume responsibility and walk with a head held up high.

4) Shorter and more strong (because more direct): Assume responsibilty. Walk with your (you want to reach them!) head up high.

Proud of our abilities. Proud of our minds. Proud of living on this beautifull planet.

I think it would be stronger when you want to close your speech that way to use the word proud also in the middle of your speech.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Brutha

2) Don't open a speech like that. Just cut that part out. Take responsibilty for bringing the message to your audience. Don't say them: You won't agree with me either way, but at least listen to me.

Agreed. Your introduction should be about why your audience should pay close attention to the rest of your speech. Why does it matter to them? What is in it for them? How can you grab their attention?

Example of this kind of intro: "Have you ever felt you had low self estem? Do you know anyone in your family with low self estem and feel that it is affecting them tremendously? Self-estem affects so many people in our society, and tonight, I'm going to talk about its causes and how we can rectify it."

This is just a quick attempt at an introduction for your topic, I'm sure you can come up with one better then what I just did. That intro is an example of a way to draw your audience into your speech, to make it more personal and more interesting to them, to answer the big question in the audience mind of "Why should I bother listen".

[Freelancer]

First, what project/manual are you working on?

Project 3 competent communication communication.

1)In general we start a toastmaster speech in our club with:
"Fellow Toastmasters, dear Guests"
But I don't know how you do it in your club.

Your correct, I will correct it in my next draft.

2) Don't open a speech like that. Just cut that part out. Take responsibilty for bringing the message to your audience. Don't say them: You won't agree with me either way, but at least listen to me.

A example or a good quote (Find the famous quotes you need, ThinkExist.com Quotations. is a good source) might give your speech a strong start.
Be bold.

Once again on point, I'll figure out a different opening.

3) Your speech lacks examples or mental images. Describe one of those instances. That creates rapport. You might use that story to start your speech.

I considered it but didn't have the time to incorperate it in the speech (had a train to catch).
Next draft (posted here as well) it'll get updated.

4) Shorter and more strong (because more direct): Assume responsibilty. Walk with your (you want to reach them!) head up high.

Excellent, I'm loving your suggestions.
Marked for next draft as well.

I think it would be stronger when you want to close your speech that way to use the word proud also in the middle of your speech.

I can probably work this in somewhere. I'll look into it.
*cue's old tune* Next draft.

Agreed. Your introduction should be about why your audience should pay close attention to the rest of your speech. Why does it matter to them? What is in it for them? How can you grab their attention?

Example of this kind of intro: "Have you ever felt you had low self estem? Do you know anyone in your family with low self estem and feel that it is affecting them tremendously? Self-estem affects so many people in our society, and tonight, I'm going to talk about its causes and how we can rectify it."

This is just a quick attempt at an introduction for your topic, I'm sure you can come up with one better then what I just did. That intro is an example of a way to draw your audience into your speech, to make it more personal and more interesting to them, to answer the big question in the audience mind of "Why should I bother listen".

I like brutha's opening of either a famous quote or a short story about the despair most people are trapped in.
What you think?



Thanks for your help people, I appreciate it.
If I have any questions I'll be sure to ask them.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Freelancer

Project 3 competent communication communication.

Oh, so you're just a beginner then. Don't worry about making it too perfect

I like brutha's opening of either a famous quote or a short story about the despair most people are trapped in.
What you think?

There are many ways to effectively open a speech. One way is to ask questions like I did, the other ways are to do what Brutha suggested with the quote or short story. However you choose to open it has to be a way that draws your audience into your topic and show them why it's interesting for them to listen. Have fun and experiment with the different ways as you go through your manual so you don't just rely on one method, but have several methods at your disposal by the time you're done with all 10 speeches.

[Freelancer]

Self Esteem

Fellow Toastmasters and beloved guests.

Yesterday, while I was walking towards the train, I looked around me at the faces going in the same direction. For most of the day I’ve been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, then at that moment while walking a realization struck me. These people that are walking with me in the same direction are not truly happy. They are lacking in self esteem, I could see it on there sagging faces. They where looking like the end of the world is near and that’s alright with them. There shoulders lumped forward with a invisible weight placed on top of them. This is what I would expect in slaves, not free men of the western world. This is also when inspiration for this speech hit me with the proverbial lightning bolt.

In our current society a lot of people lack self esteem, they cover it up with false persona’s and false reasoning. A sure sign of low self esteem is a person who lives in ever lasting misery while telling everyone around them there life is great. Think of the people that go on compulsory vacation, during which they only long to return home yesterday rather then today. Then when they finally do return home, they are the loudest to claim that there vacation was the best vacation EVER.

It’s a plague right now and the cure is simple but perhaps not easy.

But first what is Self Esteem? Self Esteem as defined by the dictionary is;
Pride in oneself or Self-respect

The simple solution to increase self esteem is to rely on no other judgment than your own. To allow nobody to determine the path you wish to walk. That is where Self Esteem arises from. That is when you can be proud of your achievements, knowing that you are the only one who made them possible.

The hint is hidden in the dictionary, Pride in oneself. This pride can only ever come if you are the sole person with all the responsibility. In this day and age society takes up responsibility for everything. People must be saved from themselves whenever possible, this seems to imply that they can’t take care of themselves.

Responsibility right now is considered a burden, something to bear and painful. It’s a place where stress arises from. The image that comes to mind is atlas carrying the world on his shoulders, being responsible for everyone. The only time responsibility is a burden is when you are taking responsibility for other people's life’s. When you take responsibility solely for your own life it becomes a source of joy, joy of knowing that YOU are in control of your life. Not society, not your parents, not your peers. YOU are the only one responsible for YOUR life. And from that pride and joy arises because you KNOW that all your achievements are yours alone.

If you wish to be able to respect yourself then you must live by your own code of value’s. You must obey your own Code that you acquired through reasoning. You are not a slave to what others tell you, you are a free person, free to chose whatever you wish.

And from this self respect and pride will come, self esteem will return and your life will take on a new direction.

Low self esteem arises when you compromise your own value’s to please other people. The result in most cases is that both suffer, there self esteem is lowered because you assumed responsibility over there life and your self esteem is lowered because you did not follow the things you value.

Assume responsibility to cure our low self esteem, lets start healing ourselves right now. Lets stop giving away responsibility like it’s a burden, lets accept it fully and enjoy its presence. This is your birthright, nobody can take it away from you unless you allow them to.

At this time and age where we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to unconsciously take away the responsibility of choosing how to spend your money. In this time and age where society as a whole is more then willing to assume responsibility.
This ability to take responsibility for yourself is more important then ever before.

Assume responsibility and walk with your head held up high. Lets be the ones with a impeccable self esteem. Proud of our abilities. Proud of our minds. Proud of living on this beautiful planet.

Oh, so you're just a beginner then. Don't worry about making it too perfect

Haha I don't worry about it and I will most likely botch up some part of it. However I take pride in the fact that I prepared to the best of my ability.

There are many ways to effectively open a speech. One way is to ask questions like I did, the other ways are to do what Brutha suggested with the quote or short story. However you choose to open it has to be a way that draws your audience into your topic and show them why it's interesting for them to listen. Have fun and experiment with the different ways as you go through your manual so you don't just rely on one method, but have several methods at your disposal by the time you're done with all 10 speeches.

I'll keep that in mind and open one of my next speeches with either a quote or a question.

Is it a good idea to start the speech with a short quote and then my story or is that to much of the good stuff?

[Joely]

I like the new version, the way you've made it much more personal. What about putting a quote at the end? You've got the story at the beginning and a quote at the end might close off the whole thing nicely.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Joely

I like the new version, the way you've made it much more personal. What about putting a quote at the end? You've got the story at the beginning and a quote at the end might close off the whole thing nicely.

I like the powerfull ending right now with all the Be proud's.

Lets discuss with the rest of the panel though.

Quote at the end or Proud, Proud, Proud?

[ElleBlue]

I like the second speech better too. You have personalized it and many people can relate to that rather than generalities. The second article really drew me in. Your take on self esteem issues are very true. We all know people who hide behind personas or tell everyone that their vacation was the best ever.

I was reading once in another blog about a girl who didn't see her family for Christmas. She had moved out of state and due to lack of vacation time and finances, she couldn't go home, but made the best of things by inviting other young people with family far away. When she told people her plans, they all felt sorry for her. She said, "oh, I'll be fine, besides, I'm going home in a few months". The people still wanted to just pity her and she was, of course annoyed. When she saw these people again, they looked sad (when no one was looking). She asked them how their holiday was and they said "oh great!" without sharing what they did or who they spent the holidays with.

[Fullcrum]

I agree - a much greater improvement!

A good image is created at the beginning - everyone can relate. Everyone has seen it. Everyone knows at an unconscious level that most people are unhappy. The listeners themselves are probably at least somewhat unhappy - they probably have been the ones with the sagging faces at times.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Freelancer

Yesterday, while I was walking towards the train, I looked around me at the faces going in the same direction. For most of the day I’ve been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, then at that moment while walking a realization struck me. These people that are walking with me in the same direction are not truly happy. They are lacking in self esteem, I could see it on there sagging faces. They where looking like the end of the world is near and that’s alright with them. There shoulders lumped forward with a invisible weight placed on top of them. This is what I would expect in slaves, not free men of the western world. This is also when inspiration for this speech hit me with the proverbial lightning bolt.

That's great! Much improved, and I like the story because it's personal. However, I would take the last line off, it's a clear lie, and probably not believable. Furthermore, the line is not needed to make your intro effective.

For your conclusion, if you can somehow refer to what your introduction said in some fashion, that tends to add impact. Not needed, but it's neat when speakers do that and I enjoy doing it myself when I can find a way to do it.

[Brutha]

Project 3 competent communication communication.

What the general purpose of your speech?
What is the specific purpose of your speech?

At the moment your speech has 743 words. Normally people speak on average 100 words per minute.
That probably means (unless you talk very fast), that you have to cut a bit.
I would look at each sentence (including subordinate clauses) and ask myself: Can I say the thing I want to say in that sentence with less words (it makes the speech easier to understand).
A few of your sentences are written passiv, switching to active ("The dog got hit by a ball" is passive and "The ball hit the dog" is active) makes your speech easier to understand.

However, I would take the last line off, it's a clear lie, and probably not believable.

It's a story. It doesn't have to be true, what matter is whether it works (in a toastmaster context).
But I also think that you could cut the sentence without losing something.

[Freelancer]

Ahh great, improvement love it.

I've had to do a bunch of other stuff for a while, I'm most likely scheduled to do this speech this Friday.

What the general purpose of your speech?

Mainly persuading (to convince them that they need to change this) and part inspiring (to inspire them to do it).

What is the specific purpose of your speech?

After the speech the audience will understand what builds Self Esteem and be able to work on this themselves.

Sounds about right?

At the moment your speech has 743 words. Normally people speak on average 100 words per minute.
That probably means (unless you talk very fast), that you have to cut a bit.
I would look at each sentence (including subordinate clauses) and ask myself: Can I say the thing I want to say in that sentence with less words (it makes the speech easier to understand).
A few of your sentences are written passiv, switching to active ("The dog got hit by a ball" is passive and "The ball hit the dog" is active) makes your speech easier to understand.

Alright, I'll look into cutting parts of it.
I will post a updated version soon.

It's a story. It doesn't have to be true, what matter is whether it works (in a toastmaster context).
But I also think that you could cut the sentence without losing something.

I agree thats the first part that gets cut. It was a bit of a wink towards Fullcrums shooting lightning out of my ass comment.
They probably don't know that though so might as well cut it.

[Freelancer]

Alright next version 1.2:

Self Esteem

Fellow Toastmasters and beloved guests.

Yesterday, while I was walking towards the train, I looked around me at the faces going in the same direction. For most of the day I’ve been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, then at that moment while walking a realization struck me. These people that are walking with me in the same direction are not truly happy. They are lacking in self esteem, I could see it on there sagging faces. They where looking like the end of the world is near and that’s alright with them. There shoulders lumped forward with a invisible weight placed on top of them. This is what I would expect in slaves, not free men of the western world.

In our current society a lot of people lack self esteem, they cover it up with false persona’s and false reasoning. A sure sign of low self esteem is a person who lives in ever lasting misery while telling everyone around them there life is great. Think of the people that go on compulsory vacation, during which they only long to return home yesterday rather then today. Then when they finally do return home, they are the loudest to claim that there vacation was the best vacation EVER.
It’s a plague right now and the cure is simple.

But first what is Self Esteem? Self Esteem as defined by the dictionary is;
Pride in oneself or Self-respect

The simple solution to increase Self Esteem is to rely on no other judgment than your own. To allow nobody to determine the path you wish to walk. That is where Self Esteem arises from. That is when you can be proud of your achievements, knowing that you are the only one who made them possible.

The hint is hidden in the dictionary, Pride in oneself. This pride can only ever come if you are the sole person with all the responsibility. In this day and age society takes up responsibility for everything. People must be saved from themselves whenever possible, this seems to imply that they can’t take care of themselves.

Responsibility right now is considered a burden, something to bear and painful. It’s a place where stress arises from. The image that comes to mind is atlas carrying the world on his shoulders, being responsible for everyone. The only time responsibility is a burden is when you are taking responsibility for other people's life’s. When you take responsibility solely for your own life it becomes a source of joy, joy of knowing that YOU are in control of your life. Not society, not your parents, not your peers. YOU are the only one responsible for YOUR life. And from that pride and joy arises because you KNOW that all your achievements are yours alone.

Low self esteem arises when you compromise your own value’s to please other people. The result in most cases is that both suffer, there self esteem is lowered because you assumed responsibility over there life and your self esteem is lowered because you did not follow the things you value.

Assume responsibility to cure your low self esteem, lets start healing ourselves right now. Lets stop giving away responsibility like it’s a burden, lets accept it fully and enjoy its presence. This is your birthright, nobody can take it away from you unless you allow them to.

At this time and age where we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to unconsciously take away the responsibility of choosing how to spend your money. In this time and age where society as a whole is more then willing to assume responsibility.
This ability to take responsibility for yourself is more important then ever before.

Assume responsibility and walk with your head held up high. Lets be the ones with a impeccable self esteem. Proud of our abilities. Proud of our minds. Proud of living on this beautiful planet.


Total words: 653

I'm not entirely satisfied with the bolded part, it doesn't quite sound right.
Anybody agree or is it just me?

[Brutha]

Mainly persuading (to convince them that they need to change this) and part inspiring (to inspire them to do it).[...] After the speech the audience will understand what builds Self Esteem and be able to work on this themselves.

Conveying information and helping someone understand something is something different then persuading someone to do something.

In addition your purpose could be a bit more specific.

(for non-toastmasters, Freelancer's assignement in project three is:
- To decide first on a specific purpose of his speach
- build the speech around that purpose by choosing a opening, body and conclusion that directly enforces his purpose,
- project sincerity and convistion
there are other toastmaster projects like concentrating on bodylanguage)

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Conveying information and helping someone understand something is something different then persuading someone to do something.

In addition your purpose could be a bit more specific.

(for non-toastmasters, Freelancer's assignement in project three is:
- To decide first on a specific purpose of his speach
- build the speech around that purpose by choosing a opening, body and conclusion that directly enforces his purpose,
- project sincerity and convistion
there are other toastmaster projects like concentrating on bodylanguage)

Not entirely sure I understand what you mean.

This speech doesn't seem to have as general purpose 'to inform' either, its not factual information. Its a theory on how self esteem functions.

Which is why I picked Persuasive, the basic premise of the speech is to convince the audience that Self Esteem is important, that you are responsible for it and that you can raise your own Self Esteem.

The problem for me is that I've written this speech more or less free writing in one shot. The first draft, minus some tiny changes, was written in 15ish minutes but the idea's for it where tumbling around my head for much longer. So it wasn't written with a specific purpose in mind. Its just something I've been considering for a long time expressed in a speech format...

[Brutha]

So it wasn't written with a specific purpose in mind.

Yeah, that is the problem.
It's fails the objective.
If you read how the speech should be evaluated five of eight points relate to the specific purpose of your speech.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Yeah, that is the problem.
It's fails the objective.
If you read how the speech should be evaluated five of eight points relate to the specific purpose of your speech.

oh damn lol.

Any idea's on how to remedy this ehm tiny problem?

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Freelancer

oh damn lol.

Any idea's on how to remedy this ehm tiny problem?

I tend to think of the manual as guidelines, it's not required to follow it 100% if you choose not to.

ps. I loved the Atlas Shrugged novel.

[Fullcrum]

Give the speech and tell us the semi-professional feedback you get on it.

The most important thing right now is that it should be quite apparent you're living what you're talking about. It should come across in your energy.

Be super dominant up there - get noticed, BLOW THEM AWAY!

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Fullcrum

Give the speech and tell us the semi-professional feedback you get on it.

The most important thing right now is that it should be quite apparent you're living what you're talking about. It should come across in your energy.

Be super dominant up there - get noticed, BLOW THEM AWAY!

Sounds like a plan.

Time to STEP UP !!



Going to be awesome, I'm sniveling wreck right now (bleh sick), 2 days to recover. If I don't I'll just have to shine like a king and up the delivery EVEN more. I'll be my best whatever my condition.



Edit:

ps. I loved the Atlas Shrugged novel.

Me to, loved to read it. I don't think she has all the concepts correct. The book itself is written brilliantly though. That alone is worth it...

[Freelancer]

Version nr. 4

Self Esteem

Fellow Toastmasters and beloved guests.

Yesterday, while I was walking towards the train, I looked around me at the faces going in the same direction. You could see they weren’t truly happy, just look at there sad faces. They looked like the end of the world is near, and that’s ok with them. There shoulders where lumped forward like a invisible weight was placed on top of them. Now for most of the day I’ve been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (a great book by the way), then I realized that at least part of there problem is –low of Self Esteem-.

In our current society a lot of people lack Self Esteem, they cover it up with false persona’s and false reasoning. A sure sign of low Self Esteem is a person who lives in ever lasting misery while telling everyone around them there life is the greatest EVER. Think of the people that go on compulsory vacation, during the entire vacation they are miserable. Then when they finally do return home, they are the loudest to claim that there vacation was the greatest vacation EVER. Strange isn’t it?

It’s a plague right now and the cure is simple.

But first what is Self Esteem? Self Esteem as defined by the dictionary is;
Pride in oneself or Self-respect

The simple solution to increase Self Esteem is to rely on no other judgment than your own. To allow nobody to determine the path in life you wish to take. That is where Self Esteem arises from. That is when you can be proud of your achievements, knowing that you are the only one that made them possible.

The hint is hidden in the dictionary, Pride in oneself. This pride can only ever come if you are the sole person with all the responsibility for your life. In this day and age where society takes up responsibility for everything. The idea seems to be that people must be saved from themselves whenever possible, this seems to imply that they can’t take care of themselves, that they are not enough.

Responsibility right now is considered a burden, something to bear and painful. It’s a place where stress arises from. The image that comes to mind is atlas carrying the world on his shoulders, slowly crumbling under its weight while taking responsibility for everyone. The only time responsibility is a burden is when you are taking responsibility for other people's life’s. When you take responsibility solely for your own life it becomes a source of joy, joy of knowing that YOU are in control of your life. Not society, not your parents, not your peers. YOU are the only one responsible for YOUR life. And from that pride and joy arises because you KNOW that all your achievements and your failures are yours alone.

Low self esteem arises when you compromise your own value’s to please other people. The result in most cases is that both suffer, there self esteem is lowered because you assumed responsibility over there life and your self esteem is lowered because you did not follow the things you value.

Assume responsibility to cure our Self Esteem, lets start healing ourselves right now. Lets stop giving away responsibility like it’s a burden, lets accept it fully and enjoy its presence. This is your birthright, nobody can take it away from you unless you allow them to.

At this time and age where we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to unconsciously take away the responsibility of choosing how to spend our money. In this time and age where society as a whole is more then willing to assume responsibility.
This ability to take responsibility for yourself is more important then ever before.

Assume responsibility and walk with your head held up high. Lets be the ones with a impeccable Self Esteem. Lets be proud of our abilities. Proud of our minds. Proud of living on this beautiful planet.



Shuffled some words around, changed some sentences here and there. Nothing major. This is basically the speech word for word, I'm considering adding bolded parts where I emphasize words and [....] where I take short pauzes. This is my masterpiece (like every speech from now on) so I want it to be as close to perfection as possible.

I'm stumbling right now on the bolded sentence, it seems to long. I just can't figure out a shorter way of saying the same thing.


I always seem to be strangling my tongue with the underlined word, practice I guess after all english ain't my native language so I've got an excuse.

[Brutha]

I tend to think of the manual as guidelines, it's not required to follow it 100% if you choose not to.

Naturally no body gets forced to do it by the manual.
It depends also a bit on the club. In some clubs the evualator concentrates primarly on the objective that the manual defines and in some clubs the feedback is more on the overall performance.
Talking to your evaluator and telling him in advance that you didn't try to build your speech on a specific purpose and that you want more general feedback on your delivery might be a good idea.

In the future I would recommand you to read the manual before writing a speech. By focusing on a specific aspects of your speech you can better improve as a speaker.

At this time and age where we are constantly bombarded with advertising designed to unconsciously take away the responsibility of choosing how to spend our money.

->
In our time we are constantly bombarded with advertising.
It's designed to unconsciously take away our responsibility of choosing how we spend our money.