Breaking the habit.

[snaggletooth]

I speak both English and Bulgarian pretty fluently but I've felt my Bulgarian starting to dwindle over time and I want to create a habit of speaking with my parents solely in Bulgarian. Unfortunately, for the past few years, I've gotten into the habit of speaking to them in English, regardless of which language they use to speak to me.

I've set up everything from post-its to alarms on my computer to remind me to speak to them only in Bulgarian but I'm having a hard time turning it into a consistent habit.

Any advice on how I can improve my success and how I can break this habit?

Appreciate it,

Nick

[schwaka]

Ask your parents to pretend they can't understand you. It works with children, it should work with adults too. The children of a friend of mine started falling back on baby speech. It stopped when my friends told them that they definitely couldn't understand what the little ones where trying to say.

[gettingskinny]

I too would enlist the help of your parents. Tell them what your goal is and ask them not to respond to you unless you speak to them in Bulgarian!

[snaggletooth]

Good ideas but unfortunately, relying on my parents for this doesn't work.

I've asked them many times to act as if they don't understand me when they catch me responding in English but they keep promising and they don't follow through.

I find it fascinating that they often talk about how some of my buddies who live in different states only speak Bulgarian with their parents, yet when I try to get the same thing going, they aren't as committed in helping me out.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I need a method that will help me achieve my goal without reliance on my parents.

Any and all ideas are greatly appreciated. I'm going back to Bulgaria in six months to visit my relatives for the first time in over five years and there is nothing more that will make them happier than to hear that I can speak fluently without major hiccups in the language.

Thanks,

Nick

[Woohoo]

Either motivate your parents with something like: give them some of your money if they catch you talking in English to them, or tell them that you are going to do something for them that you don't usually do (wash the dishes, clean a room,etc)

Or, if you haven't yet, try to regularly visualize yourself talking in Bulgarian to your parents. It might work.

[snaggletooth]

Hmm.. visualization, that's smart. Thanks. I'll try that out.

Nick

[alexinspire]

Rely and depend on people will not work.

Be responsible and start to remind yourself. There's a way of disappearing habit that I use. It's quite complicated but I'm going to share with you an easy one:

Meditation. It looks boring but it work!

Just spend 10 minutes to recall the memory everytime you speak english with your parents. Repeat it over and over again. If you repeat the memory in mind many times, your mind will start to be aware about your habit. The next time you speak english again with your parents, it will send an alarm to you and you can choose to continue or speak in another way.

Repeating it won't program but disappear it. It's going to be very long to explain it.

[snaggletooth]

Wow, that's a great idea, I'll try that out. I used to be into meditation but I used it for other purposes.

I really am curious about why this works though, would you mind explaining or linking to a site that does explain?

Thanks again,

Nick

[SuperManny]

Maybe try 'thinking' in Bulgarian. Or see if you can find Bulgarian books to read, or maybe some audiobooks.

If you don't use it, you will definitely lose it. The first language I learned was German, and today I barely remember 10-20 German words, because no one around me speaks it.

[Brad Isaac]

You might even consider a reward/negative system. For each time you catch yourself speaking in English, you have to put $1 into a jar.

Every time you speak Bulgarian you get to take $1 out.

At the end of the week you have to take what's in the jar and give it to a church or charity.

[snaggletooth]

I like that last idea very much. I give money anyway, this way, I will contribute more if I fail to meet my goal.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate it very much.