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Personal Effectiveness Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence

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Old 01-19-2008, 04:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile Choosing in the moment

So I have a problem with making the right choices in "the moment". Just to clarify what I mean is the point in time at which you make a choice and follow it straight away. For example like choosing to play a game, then acting on it straight away by playing the game.

The thing is when I make a decision that is before "the moment" (earlier in the day or maybe the day before ) I always choose what I should do in order to better myself and in the long term I would be much happier doing but when it comes down to actually deciding in "the moment" I always take the path of least resistance and instant gratification (like watching TV as opposed to working on my income sources or reading an important book for example) . I have no control over taking away things that are instantly gratifying too.

Does anyone know how I can push myself in the right direction? Even when I know for a fact I should do the thing that is better for me I still end up doing the thing that is instantly gratifying.
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Old 01-19-2008, 04:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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What you're speaking of is called reactive behavior.

You have to remind yourself before you react that you want to be proactive.

Remind yourself that the eventual result is sweeter than the instant result.
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Old 01-19-2008, 11:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The problem that you're having is that you care about those future things. Deep down, you know that they aren't real and aren't important, that the future doesn't exist and therefore being better in the future isn't possible, but you're arbitrarily attributing future growth to be something that you must do. This causes your mind to rebel against itself, because you're trying to force it to act on something that doesn't exist and isn't important. Like a rebellious teenager, it then turns on itself, forming destructive behaviors as a reaction to being forced to do pointless future goals "for its own good."

Once you learn that the future doesn't matter, that self-improvement doesn't matter, that nothing matters but being what you are, you won't have the problem of your mind trying to cut you of at the ankles. You'll simply be what you are, and as a result you'll have peace and joy and perhaps find that the self improvement that you were so desperately pursuing in the future is actually what you want to do right now.
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Old 01-20-2008, 10:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawkal View Post
The thing is when I make a decision that is before "the moment" (earlier in the day or maybe the day before ) I always choose what I should do in order to better myself and in the long term I would be much happier doing but when it comes down to actually deciding in "the moment" I always take the path of least resistance and instant gratification (like watching TV as opposed to working on my income sources or reading an important book for example) . I have no control over taking away things that are instantly gratifying too.
Hawkal, I know that problem quite well. My suggestion is to start witd adding something you want, instead uf substracting something you don't want. Don't forbid yourself to watch TV, but do work on some long-term goal every day for a fixed amount of time.

Last but not least, this all comes down to conflicting beliefs IMHO, and I suggest that you read about the Core Belief Process in my 2 Ways To Stop Fighting Reality as well as The 3 Most Common Mistakes Made When Setting Goals
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Old 01-24-2008, 11:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks for the input everyone.
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