How do I find my limiting beliefs?

[Flash1988]

Hey

I've been listening to 'Awaken the giant within' and Robbins says to find beliefs that empower you and beliefs that disempower you. I don't know what these are or how to find out what they are.

Maybe some of you could help me with this.




Thanks

[borntosucceed]

Listen to your but's will help you finding your limited beliefs. I give you an example: I would like to make money on the sharemarket, but the market currently goes down.

Limited Belief: you can only make money in a raising market. This is clearly not true as there are many ways to make money even in a falling market.

I would like to go to university again and do further studies, but with 40 I am to old.

Limited belief: you only study when you are young. Clearly wrong there are many people studying when then are older.

Above only gives you an example, what to look for. Write down your goals and then listen to any objections that you may have achieving them. Listen carefull to the language you use and you will find your limiting beliefs.

[Tim Brownson]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

Hey

I've been listening to 'Awaken the giant within' and Robbins says to find beliefs that empower you and beliefs that disempower you. I don't know what these are or how to find out what they are.

Maybe some of you could help me with this.




Thanks

'But' certainly can be a limiting belief and I'd be also be tempted to listen for the word 'because' too.

I cant do this because I'm too old, because I'm too young, because I'm too fat, because I'm not wealthy enough,because I don't have enough time etc. THEY are self limiting beliefs even when they may have an element of truth to them.

Empowering beliefs are fairly obvious and they may have the word but in too eg I can't do that but I can learn how. Or they may simply be statements of fact (whatever a fact is) I can be the best at this, I will learn to do that, I can be whatever weight I want to be etc.

[Flash1988]

Hey thanks for the rersponses!

Good point about the BUT's (excuses/justifications/rationalisations), I'll look out for it.

I found a resource which uncovered many limiting beliefs and for various things the same limiting beliefs cropped up.

Also I got to look at it objectively by using someone else (imaginary, doll etc), listing all undesireable experiences then asking "what would some of the beliefs have to be for this undesireable experience."

This is what I'm using, it's helping me out quite a bit: untitled

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

I don't know what these are or how to find out what they are.

Take any area of your life (eg career, studies, relationships, family, finances, health). Ask yourself why you aren't doing twice as well in any of these areas as you are currently doing.

"Ummm .... because I [am not hardworking enough to be promoted faster] / [am not smart enough to score straight A's] / [just don't have a charming personality] / [have a very difficult mother and it's just impossible to understand her] / [can't think of any ways to become rich] / [can't motivate myself to exercise more than twice a week]."

Those are your limiting beliefs.

[apl]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

Hey

I've been listening to 'Awaken the giant within'
Thanks

Sorry, a bit off-topic: That audio program is extremely dense with ideas and advice. Every time I listen to it (up to about 15 times now), I pick up on something new that I can use for personal development. I probably haven't made the most of it because I listen to a lot of it in the car on my way to work, but I recommend you keep going over it again and again until you're bored of listening to it (especially the parts in which Tony goes into depth about decisions, beliefs and the PPP). Take a break for a few weeks, and then start listening to it again.

I don't agree with absolutely everything Anthony Robbins says, but a lot of it is pure personal development gold. Actually, the more I listen to him, the more I seem to agree with what he's saying (maybe I'm brainwashing myself? Heh).

[Tim Brownson]

One thing I'd add Flash is if there is some area where you cannot do what you want to do, simply add the word 'yet' at the end

I can't lose 30lbs, yet
I can't speak Spanish, yet
I can't get the IRS off myback, yet

It's a double whammy. Firstly, it pre-supposes you WILL be able to do whatever it is in the future and it's no longer a self-limiting belief.

Agree with apl about Tony Robbins. ATGW was one of the first books on self-development I read and I have a couple of his cd series which are excellent. He did a brilliant job of taking NLP and offering it to the masses as sensible, simple advice, something that the likes of Bandler, Grinder, Dilts and the Andreas's failed to do even though they were probably more skilled than he was. Certainly at that point anyway.

[dave marshall]

Hi,

all that has been said will help and you can also explore your feelings about any particualr area, this will always lead you to your beliefs

dave

[Flash1988]

hey you've have been very helpful. I really appreciate it.

The 'yet' thing sounds more productive.

I don't know why so many people hate on Robbins (not directed at any of you) cos he's living his dream and helping others, offering a sh*tload of value to the masses.

I watched one of his 55 minute interviews on youtube, really interesting.

A lot of the beliefs seem to go deeper and come up more than once.

Common ones are caring about others judging me negatively. That I'm not good enough. That I'm bad. Opening those beliefs up to the possibility that they may be wrong and replacing them with more useful ones is what I'm doing.

I've found a lot of my beliefs may be to a degree true in reality. One of mine WAS: strangers don't like to be talked to

Now strangers don't like to be talked to * yet I've spoken to several strangers who love being talked to

Does being aware of the belief itself cause it to lessen or would it be necessary to replace it with something else and is it as easy as just stating that belief or what?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

Does being aware of the belief itself cause it to lessen or would it be necessary to replace it with something else and is it as easy as just stating that belief or what?

Just seeing a belief for what it is -- a thought in your head -- begins to dismantle its power over you. Acknowledging the thought and letting it go frees you even further. And best of all: when you look what believing that thought has cost you and the people in your life, and really sit with that cost, you become free to watch something else come up that will inspire you. An entirely new way of being. That's where the real power is: seeing what quality would make a difference, and being that quality.

In my experience, the new ways of being that really make a difference are qualities that you take on and are 100% responsible for, as opposed to declaring intentions that other people will think or do as you wish. For instance, you might transform strangers don't like to be talked to into I am deeply related and connected to all people. You would actually be generating relatedness and connection right now in the moment, not waiting until some future time when you have figured it out or are more worthy. That's just an example -- being related and connected inspires me; your new way of being would be one that inspires you.

Best wishes to you for freedom and power!

[uberinquisitive]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

Does being aware of the belief itself cause it to lessen or would it be necessary to replace it with something else and is it as easy as just stating that belief or what?

I find that letting go of old beliefs is a cycle with ups and downs, rather than a linear trajectory. Your mind has held onto these beliefs for years...it's hard to let go.

I know a woman who works with athletes and learning-disabled children. She mentioned that, every single time, before a great breakthrough, these people regress into their lowest low. They'll be doing ok, and then bam, they will regress. But when they've almost given up hope, they suddenly jump into heir greatest breakthrough. It's a normal human pattern.

[Tobias Zimpel]

Flash, you already had some great advice. I want to add another method I'd like to use to find limiting or just incongruent beliefs.

You can look at other people around you, especially about things you don't like about them. This often points back to issues that you have with yourself.

Limiting or incongruent beliefs will eventually lead to what I call "fighting reality" - and I've written an article on my blog that you might find interesting: 2 Ways To Stop Fighting Reality | TobiasZimpel.com.

If you have questions about this, feel free to ask here or in a PM, or comment on my blog if you like.

[Tim Brownson]

Originally Posted by uberinquisitive

. She mentioned that, every single time, before a great breakthrough, these people regress into their lowest low. They'll be doing ok, and then bam, they will regress. But when they've almost given up hope, they suddenly jump into heir greatest breakthrough. It's a normal human pattern.

Agree 100%. That happens with almost every client I work with!

[Flash1988]

I think for the stranger one the useful belief is that "we're all one".. "we're all part of the same thing" or "we're all connected".

I think that I tend to resist change.
I wrote this in 3rd person.

Here's some of the beliefs I got which I want to change...
That change, for him is hard.
That change is slow and requires lots of hard work.
That he cannot change.

I'm wondering what useful beliefs could be to replace those.. Like "Change is quick and easy for me, although some change requires slow steady progress"?

Thanks for the responses again.. Tobias I'll check out your blog in a bit! Cheers

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

I'm wondering what useful beliefs could be to replace those.. Like "Change is quick and easy for me, although some change requires slow steady progress"?

The thing about change is: it's not just easy and fast, it's inevitable! You're changing whether you want to or not, that's just the way it is.

Maybe you could approach it from an angle of acceptance. In other words, don't worry about change, that will take care of itself, in its own time. Instead, you might want to focus on being present and accepting and flexible, like a surfer.

Presence and acceptance, along with letting go of what you no longer need and generating what will make a difference. That's how I build beliefs that work in living a life I love.

[Tim Brownson]

Originally Posted by Flash1988

I think for the stranger one the useful belief is that "we're all one".. "we're all part of the same thing" or "we're all connected".

I think that I tend to resist change.
I wrote this in 3rd person.

Here's some of the beliefs I got which I want to change...
That change, for him is hard.
That change is slow and requires lots of hard work.
That he cannot change.

I'm wondering what useful beliefs could be to replace those.. Like "Change is quick and easy for me, although some change requires slow steady progress"?

Thanks for the responses again.. Tobias I'll check out your blog in a bit! Cheers

Flash, beliefs will probably not change simply by being aware of them. Every belief change has to pass through uncertainty before it gets shattered and turned into an old belief. Think of things that you once believed to be true and now don't. What changed your mind?

First though you HAVE to associate with your beliefs. By disassociating (3rd person) you are pushing them away from you and you'll struggle to change them at all.

Look at the belief or concern that is at hand. Think of ways in which it is inaccurate or could be mistaken. Look for evidence when this has not been the case or when you have managed to deal with similar occurrences successfully (Important: they do not have to be identical, just look for common threads running through). If there are no examples like that, look for cases where other people have done whatever it is so you know it is possible. Just do whatever is necessary to undermine, obliterate and ridicule it.

Did you read my article on change It may help somewhat.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by uberinquisitive

I find that letting go of old beliefs is a cycle with ups and downs, rather than a linear trajectory. Your mind has held onto these beliefs for years...it's hard to let go.

I know a woman who works with athletes and learning-disabled children. She mentioned that, every single time, before a great breakthrough, these people regress into their lowest low. They'll be doing ok, and then bam, they will regress. But when they've almost given up hope, they suddenly jump into heir greatest breakthrough. It's a normal human pattern.

Why is this? I wonder. It does not seem to make any sense.

[RT Wolf]

Originally Posted by Tim Brownson

Flash, beliefs will probably not change simply by being aware of them.

I disagree. Very few beliefs I've had to go and do something else to change once I became aware of them. Once I became aware of my beliefs, I tend to just choose the alternative belief easily and naturally. It just doesn't make sense. Mostly, if I find a sensible new belief, I can just absorb it unless I have a limiting, contradictory belief in me, too.

On the other hand, it might be different from person-to-person.

The only ones which haven't changed by themselves are complicated or part fo another belief structure like the following:

- I've discovered that I equate solving interesting intellectual puzzles with solving actual problems.
- I also mix up effort with value.

I wrote about this stuff here:
Mind-Manual » Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs

[Tim Brownson]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

I disagree. Very few beliefs I've had to go and do something else to change once I became aware of them. Once I became aware of my beliefs, I tend to just choose the alternative belief easily and naturally. It just doesn't make sense. Mostly, if I find a sensible new belief, I can just absorb it unless I have a limiting, contradictory belief in me, too.

On the other hand, it might be different from person-to-person.

The only ones which haven't changed by themselves are complicated or part fo another belief structure like the following:

- I've discovered that I equate solving interesting intellectual puzzles with solving actual problems.
- I also mix up effort with value.

I wrote about this stuff here:
Mind-Manual » Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs

RT, you kinda agreed with me there. I said beliefs don't change simply by observing then and then you said you change yours by chosing a new belief. That's active not passive. You CHOOSE to change them, that is a belief installation. You don't simply observe them and they vanish into a puff of air and a new one appears, right?

[uberinquisitive]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Why is this? I wonder. It does not seem to make any sense.

I don't know. Maybe because human beings have difficulty accepting new identities, so there is a constantly struggle inside.

Another way to find your limiting beliefs - think of all the emotionally charged times in your life. The time the bully beat you up on the playground. The time your mother yelled at you for being late.

Once you have those written down, think of what these events taught you. The bully perhaps taught you that you're weak and someone to be pushed around. Your mother perhaps taught you that you are always tardy and upsetting other people's lives.

These are just small examples. Bigger examples no doubt live in everyone's history.

[RT Wolf]

What makes sense depends on your mental model. Rationality, as a mental model, came much after emotions or many other such things.

The bully perhaps taught you that to be strong is to abuse power, so you never did become very strong.

[Keith]