Winter Break Fixup?

[onomotopeia]

Since I have attention problems described as ADD, it is quite easy for me to become isolated in the throes of my unbalanced life. I'm a college senior and was hoping to address my void of life during winter break, but as is commonfare for my life, I can't get my mind to plan or get goal directed. I have trouble making decisions that extend beyond small, near term things.

Here's the depressing situation: I've lost touch with most friends since sophomore year and I couldn't say that my relationships are the tightest. In the first place, I have trouble establishing balanced, TWOSIDED relationships because it's hard to concentrate/direct conversations, and so I end up dominated and discouraged in the friendships I do have (the reason I drifted into isolation in the first place).

Then we have the fact that I'm just your pathetic ordinary senior who's spent years trying to get clearer on career objectives and has nothing to show for it.

I know all the reasons that will assure me this isn't the worst thing in the world. But I have no past, present nor future. Sure, I do well academically, and have worked a few ordinary jobs, but that's it. When it comes time for me to do some independent thinking, I can't and end up depressed and inacting.

I have two weeks left of break and 3 months left of college. How can I address these goals? I've already tossed around solution after solution and it's not like I can't think of solutions, I can't come up with the STEPS and the follow through. I used to meditate like a fiend, hoping that I would get clearer on values or better at getting a sense of how to take advantage of social interactions. I read, write, try and volunteer. But all these things are just the small, pithy things of high school years that mean nothing if I can't think of the larger things.

[onomotopeia]

I fear that my post isn't detailed enough to get responses.

Is there anyone that could offer perspective on how to actually plan, turn into goals actually cultivating relationships by May? This is a less and less obvious objective as I prepare to finish up the near-final chapter of my education as there aren't these prefab., everyone looking for friends situations.

I easily know to put myself out there, but the question is really for myself how to do more than simply show up at places and events, i.e. actually do more than just strike petty talk.

[lespauldude]

sorry, i have no answer to your question but....
your screen name is intentionally spelled wrong, right?

[Ree]

Originally Posted by onomotopeia

Since I have attention problems described as ADD, it is quite easy for me to become isolated in the throes of my unbalanced life. I'm a college senior and was hoping to address my void of life during winter break, but as is commonfare for my life, I can't get my mind to plan or get goal directed. I have trouble making decisions that extend beyond small, near term things.

Here's the depressing situation: I've lost touch with most friends since sophomore year and I couldn't say that my relationships are the tightest. In the first place, I have trouble establishing balanced, TWOSIDED relationships because it's hard to concentrate/direct conversations, and so I end up dominated and discouraged in the friendships I do have (the reason I drifted into isolation in the first place).

Then we have the fact that I'm just your pathetic ordinary senior who's spent years trying to get clearer on career objectives and has nothing to show for it.

I know all the reasons that will assure me this isn't the worst thing in the world. But I have no past, present nor future. Sure, I do well academically, and have worked a few ordinary jobs, but that's it. When it comes time for me to do some independent thinking, I can't and end up depressed and inacting.

I have two weeks left of break and 3 months left of college. How can I address these goals? I've already tossed around solution after solution and it's not like I can't think of solutions, I can't come up with the STEPS and the follow through. I used to meditate like a fiend, hoping that I would get clearer on values or better at getting a sense of how to take advantage of social interactions. I read, write, try and volunteer. But all these things are just the small, pithy things of high school years that mean nothing if I can't think of the larger things.

This is my humble opinion:

Sounds to me like you haven't found your passion. Have you read Steve's blog about How To Discover Your Life's Purpose In About 20 Minutes? It's an excellent place to start. Try it!!

I see that you volunteer but you don't sound very excited about it. I'm a strong believer in volunteerism, not only for the benefit you GIVE but also for the benefit you GET! Find a cause that touches your heart and give a few hours volunteering for that cause. You'll meet people with whom you already have something in common. You might find a goal worth working towards!

Good luck!