Avoid January 1st Resolutions

[Stephen]

AVOID JANUARY 1ST RESOLUTIONS - or you are setting yourself up for a quick set back.

Any goals you have like stopping alcohol or running every day or anything else for that matter; leave them for the first Monday after the NEW Year as long as it is at least 5 days after the 1st. Listen to me; this is sage advice from an old head.

You will put too much pressure on yourself at a festive time of year to launch into an austere mode of existence when all around you are enjoying themselves.

There will be people who are exceptions to this rule; but take it from me; you will increase your chances of success tenfold by postponing your goals or resolutions for those few days.

Good luck

[Meg]

It still sounds like resolutions to me, but just modified. I don't start my resolutions for the new year immediately unless its more or less a habit (whether stopping a bad one or starting a new one [which goes hand in hand for me]).

One of my resolutions this year is to conserve more energy and water, which for me means switching from incandescent to CFL, not using my dishwasher (I don't anyway), using a dish detergent wand instead of running a sink full of water, investing in a water-saving showerhead, I already have a water-saving thing in my toilet, and taking shorter showers.

While some I can begin right away as its more a habit change, some I can't put into effect immediately, such as the CFL change and the water-saving showerhead.

So yeah, I generally agree with the idea of "postponing" resolutions as long as its not like, "Oh, its inconvenient for me right now, I'll just start it next week."

I know a lot of people's goals this year (as for every year) is to eat healthier and stuff, which is also a big one that many people fail to keep. They say they fail to keep it because of everything still in their cupboards and fridge and whatnot. In this case, postponing the resolution is more like... amending the resolution. Instead of just eating healthier, add "buying healthier foods" to that same resolution. That way, you can eat up what you have left in your cupboards without thinking you've 'failed.' The next time you go to the grocer's market, you buy healthier food so you have heathier food in your cupboards so you eat healthier foods. And while you may not be able to go shopping right away on January 1, it doesn't mean you've 'failed' if you don't your next shopping until next week.

[The David]

Very good idea. For me, the real beginning of the year is when school starts again, the 7th. I postponed my resolution until then and am using it as a 'guideline' until then.

[GoalSettingCollege]

In my opinion, resolutions or goals, set on 1st January or whichever date, it doesn't really matter. Instead of thinking when to set it, the more important question is how you set it and how to keep it going.

Good luck with your resolutions/goals.

Cheers,
Ellesse

[z1freeride]

Yes, I think it is important to set goals because you desire them, not because a popular calendar day tells you to.

Also, it's important to note that willpower alone cannot cause change. (That is one reason why new year's resolutions usually are just january's resolutions.)

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by z1freeride

Yes, I think it is important to set goals because you desire them, not because a popular calendar day tells you to.

Also, it's important to note that willpower alone cannot cause change. (That is one reason why new year's resolutions usually are just january's resolutions.)

Yes the calendar isnt important but by setting a forward date that you can psych yourself up for, is a good idea.

What I am getting at is that starting these plans on new years day or on a birthday isnt always the best idea. You might feel a bit groggy and see your goal of stopping smoking go up in flames, if you have overdone it the evening before etc.

My main 30 day plans for 2008 start on Jan 7th. Festivities over. Let's get down to business.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Stephen

You will put too much pressure on yourself at a festive time of year to launch into an austere mode of existence when all around you are enjoying themselves.

Who says that stopping alcohol or running every day is an austere mode of existence?? If you don't enjoy yourself while doing it, it's a bad goal anyway, I wouldn't do it at all, no matter on which day

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Who says that stopping alcohol or running every day is an austere mode of existence?? If you don't enjoy yourself while doing it, it's a bad goal anyway, I wouldn't do it at all, no matter on which day

I think you will find that many of the things we leave behind, like tobacco or alcohol, seem at the time to be difficult things to do. It's only later that we can see the real benefits. At first it hurts like hell. It certainly feels austere.

[Rose of Cairo]

I think it depends on your own mindset. I stopped smoking, yes it did hurt like hell. But I had spent so much time building and visualizing a positive image of my life as a non-smoker that it didn't feel austere, no. I was very happy to suffer for that and I really enjoyed the ride. Or else I wouldn't have done it. If you focus on your "loss", yes, I guess it's really austere... but that's your choice.

[Stephen]

I disagree. Many of the lifestyles people come from take a certain period of time in physical withdrawal symptoms. ie Going 'cold-turkey' isn't fun. No matter how much you tell yourself your enjoying it, stomach cramps and diahorrea don't do it for me.

[Rose of Cairo]

Yes of course, when I stopped smoking I had horrible withdrawal symptoms, both physical and psychological. I felt awful, once I even cried in the middle of a bar for wanting to smoke so badly. It took me 320 days to be over it. Now with my raw experiment I have unpleasant symptoms too, like headache and sadness. And when I started lifting weights, I had sore muscles every day. I know that it's not fun.

Still, there's a huge difference between

• focusing on your "loss" and your unpleasant symptoms and considering your new life to be austere, and
• focusing on the new bright life you're creating and enjoying it even with withdrawal symptoms

I agree with you that for some people, starting without any preparation is not a good idea, though.

[Stephen]

Yes, I agree. Focusing on the negatives is a quick way to failure. It's the physical symptoms one has has to prepare for in the early days and the mental ones after. Prepare for a bad few days to begin with (no pain no gain) and you will be all the better for it. What I mean from this thread is that their are more opportune times to start a new regime than at new year, when people around you are having a party! (Da pfeift es aus einem anderen Loch)

[Rose of Cairo]

hehehehe yeah
(cool do you speak german?)

[craigharper]

Despite our abysmal track record and a vast wasteland of shattered dreams, we continue to approach every New Year the same way; with the same dumb, pointless strategy. They say that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome", so I guess on some level, a whole bunch of us are insane because that's exactly what we do. Like a broken record stuck in the same groove, repeating the same line over and over.

I apologise if I sound like the voice of gloom to this point in the lesson, but my intention is in fact to be the voice of reality, logic, honesty and life-long change; to tell you the no BS truth about this stuff. Twenty five years of watching and working with people in the area of 'change' has taught me that sometimes, what we need to hear, is not what we want to hear. And if we're really serious about the 'different forever' thing, then we need to learn that the New Year is not the right time for making resolutions. In fact, the right time has nothing to do with a date on a calendar and everything to do with us as individuals; our level of emotional, psychological and physical commitment to achieve our goals. Our readiness for the journey.

If we're genuinely prepared to do whatever it takes (that is, we are totally committed), then it's the right time. Whether it's January 1 or March 16 makes absolutely no difference. What determines success or failure is not what date we start something, but whether or not we have the mindset, the emotional toughness and the self-control to get the job done. Sadly, we live in a culture which teaches that new beginnings start on January 1. And we continue to perpetuate this stupid psychology despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Whatever you do, don't let logic or common sense get in the way.

[belugagirl]

I, too, no longer think of them as New Year's Resolutions. The ones I make for January, if I do, are January Resolutions. If I succeed, then it becomes a habit, and I can take on another in February. If I don't succeed yet, who needs to feel failure for a year before making another attempt? In that case, it becomes the February Resolution (unless I've re-prioritized in the meantime and chosen another).

Actually, who needs to wait for the first of the month? If the first of the month comes before any other motivating catalyst appears for whatever challenge I want to tackle, I'll use it. If something else provokes me to "resolve" something first, then I'll use that.

The first of a month (or a year) is just one of many rungs by which we can pull ourselves up.