How to percieve reality: Mental Toughness or Zero Resistance?

[Swede]

I have come across two distinctly different approaches to personal development and reality:

1) Mental Toughness - Build courage and character. Go through your obstacles and experience satisfaction in your well earned achivements.

2) Zero Resistance - Go calmly through your obstacles. What you percieve becomes real, and by not experiencing it as obstacles there will be less struggle.


I do not know which one I prefer, I think they both might be fruitful. What is your opinion on these world views?

[Ree]

Here's an interesting talk on this subject by Abraham/Hicks.

YouTube - Abraham on The Stream - Esther Hicks
YouTube - Abraham on The Stream - Esther Hicks

[Swede]

The video has a point to it, I think.

Furthermore, if one stops viewing "failures" as failures and instead as lessons to learn, the two world views come together. You might need to "mentally tough" to achieve something but it does not have to be painful as in "making a failure". It could and it should be an exciting and liberating adventure, even if it requires real work.

[Ree]

I like to think of it as detachment. We know about practicing detachment when it concerns "things". I try to carry that over into other areas of my life, such as people and outcomes.

For example, I had a job in Charlotte, NC on the 8th and 9th of January that was going to be pretty lucrative for me. I got an email a couple days before Christmas that it canceled. 10 months ago I would have been hugely disappointed by this. However, I didn't even give it a second thought. I'm just going with the flow

Before I would have spent time and energy dwelling on the loss, the disappointment, the big check that WOULD NOT be coming in the mail, etcetera. Since I don't do that anymore, there are few days on my calendar that remain unfilled!

[Meg]

Ree - Charlotte, huh? I used to live in Charlotte for about 12 years total. Do you currently live in NC? I just moved about 40 miles east of Raleigh about 5 months ago.

OP - I think mine's more of zero resistance, but I find that it does build courage and character still, so its probably a mix of both. I don't really call obstacles "obstacles," but rather conflicts. Conflicts has a less negative connotation than obstacles (at least to me), and I don't think of conflicts as bad. I approach and handle/respond to conflicts as they come, and if I don't see my desired result, I don't consider it "not overcoming the obstacle" which relates to failure. I see it as simply a different than anticipated result, which I believe is exactly what the zero resistance mentality says.

Does it build courage? You betcha! You're not fearing the conflict because there's nothing TO fear. In the Mental Toughness mentality, if I'm understanding it correctly, its more like recognizing the obstacle, and not stepping down to the challenge to overcome it, which builds courage and character, of course. Obstacles and challenges are seen as roadblocks in your path; either you get over them or you don't. Pass or fail. Tough love, it seems.

The way I look at it, though, is that nothing is a roadblock. There is nothing standing in my way or doing anything, there's no obstacles in my way. Its... conflicts. When I approach a conflict in my path, it's like a fork in the road with different paths. If I take Path 1, I can't take Path 2, which is a conflict; Path 1 conflicts with Path 2. Doesn't mean its bad, or negative like an obstacle. Path 1 may require more effort, and may be more challenging to achieve a desired result than Path 2. Its just different though, and different isn't bad. I don't know if that goes with zero tolerance, but it can definitely build courage and character by not turning away from Path 1 even if Path 2 is easier; Path 1, with its challenges, could be more rewarding and personally satisfying than taking the easy way out.

I apologize if I butched the topic, I haven't really researched different mentalities like this, and was basing my post off the information provided by the OP.

[Ree]

Meg, I live in South Carolina but I travel Georgia, North Carolina and all over South Carolina in my work. My favorite part of North Carolina is the western mountain area

I think your point is right on about conflict having two (or more?) paths outward. That's an interesting way to look at it. I don't know about you, but I'm a reformed control freak! It's not always easy to take the attitude you describe. I'm better at it nowadays than I used to be!

[Meg]

The difference between obstacles and conflicts in my way of thinking really came from a lunch discussion with the regional director of the company I used to work for. Before, I probably had the obstacle outlook, the mental toughness. Approach the obstacles and challenges, overcome them, and take satisfaction in the achievement (and be discouraged if you don't). And I hate to be the negative person in a group. My boss really opened up my eyes to the different between a conflict and an obstacle - obstacles need to be eliminated, conflicts just need to be addressed and handled.

Mental toughness, I feel, has just enough room for discouragement as it does for building courage, and I simply refuse to accept rejection

[Senin]

Both. I think everybody needs to build their mental (and physical and spiritual) toughness so they can handle life. Once toughened, I think the Zen, Oneness, Beingness approach to life is best.