lazyness

[ultimate]

Right now i just feel like not doing anything at all but buy medieval II total war and play it as much as I can - The previous games were highly addictive

even tho I should just focus on business to get out of debt, get a girlfriend, must be other more beneficial things to do.


why do I feel like this?
what does it say about my character?

[fourthdan]

Normal responses from social conditioning would be "Because you are a lazy ass, good for nothing"

IMO Laziness is actually a natural state of being. Everything down to electrons in atoms will move towards and then rest in a state of least resistance.

However if you want to move past it, work on your motivation and discipline.
Quantify your goals, set deadlines and start. Best of luck.

[Taikin]

As fourthdan said, social conditioning isn't helpful but we use it nonetheless as a form of bad motivation. This article explains why the often used arguments of quality of character aren't useful or even sensible.
Reaching A Better Place » Blog Archive » Avoid These ‘Motivators’

A solution to your problem could be to seek motivation and/or discipline from the right sources. In these cases this article may help:
Reaching A Better Place » Blog Archive » The Inclination Methods

[Rose of Cairo]

Hi ultimate,

in my opinion it doesn't say anything about your character. But it says a lot about your situation and your thoughts about it. Only you can know why you feel this way. That's the main question.

I wouldn't look for motivation or discipline. I think when you're being lazy or procrastinating, you have a very good reason to do so. So trying to force yourself with discipline doesn't make sense. For me it has never worked, it did more harm than good.

You could find out which good reason you have to behave this way. I'm sure it has something to do with your thoughts, with how you see your situation. Do you have negative thoughts about it? Do you have negative thoughts about your life, or about these things you "should" do instead? What do you think about all that? If you see it in a negative way, then it's not surprising that your body wants to play instead. Shows that you're reasonable

Why do you want to get out of debt or get a girlfriend and all these beneficial things? Could you explain?

[z1freeride]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hi ultimate,

in my opinion it doesn't say anything about your character. But it says a lot about your situation and your thoughts about it. Only you can know why you feel this way. That's the main question.

I wouldn't look for motivation or discipline. I think when you're being lazy or procrastinating, you have a very good reason to do so. So trying to force yourself with discipline doesn't make sense. For me it has never worked, it did more harm than good.

You could find out which good reason you have to behave this way. I'm sure it has something to do with your thoughts, with how you see your situation. Do you have negative thoughts about it? Do you have negative thoughts about your life, or about these things you "should" do instead? What do you think about all that? If you see it in a negative way, then it's not surprising that your body wants to play instead. Shows that you're reasonable

Why do you want to get out of debt or get a girlfriend and all these beneficial things? Could you explain?

I agree with that. Analyze your thought patterns; laziness may not be your true problem.

When you think to yourself "I need to get out of debt." Do you respond with "that is too hard or impossible" ?? If that is the case...then that is your root problem.

Playing video games might be a way to avoid the feeling of guilt as well.

[MercuryLime]

So playing video games feels good, temporarily.

But while you're playing video games, other people are working to make millions of dollars. They're getting ahead of you.

In the long run, the pain of playing video games is great. (It gets you nowhere and makes you no happier in the future)

In the long run, the pleasure of working hard to reach your goals (debt-free, girlfriend, etc.) will be huge. (You'll be self-actualized and secure in yourself as a man who is in control of his self and his purpose)

You will enjoy yourself more if you stop compromising now.

Coming up with a gratitude list, as well as imagining the ultimate reward for my work, helps me push harder.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by ultimate

Right now i just feel like not doing anything at all but buy medieval II total war and play it as much as I can - The previous games were highly addictive
even tho I should just focus on business to get out of debt, get a girlfriend, must be other more beneficial things to do.
why do I feel like this?
what does it say about my character?

That doesn't sound like laziness to me, it sounds like you're avoiding something.

I'm guessing you don't consider Mediaeval Total War II to be more fun than a girlfriend.

So what's the real reason you don't pursue the former?

Debt-reduction is a tricky one motivationally 'cos it takes a long time and, short of generating new sources of income, there's only so much you can do towards it. So you end up champing at the bit getting frustrated. If you can, shunt that one from the "Project" to the "Status Quo" column and don't worry about it. ie. Have X automatically deducted from your income towards your debts, don't borrow more, and just get on with your life.

[Truefire]

Eventually it boils down to this.

You aren't going to change your behaviour until the pain of your mediocrity overwhelms the pain of following your purpose.

So, the challenge is to feel that pain of laziness in all its glory. You know you're wasting your life playing video games and doing jack all. You do it because you enjoy it and its easier than facing your life completely. You play video games because you are afraid of real life. For the same reason people watch hours of television zoning themselves out every night. To some extent we are all guilty of this, unless we are perfectly free in following our purposes.

Feel that pain. Don't avoid it through video games and television and internet forums. Stop faking to yourself that you are growing. Let the pain build up and consume you. You know what your actions say about your character. When you've finally had enough and can't take it anymore, you will change because you have no choice.

[nick pagan]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hi ultimate,

in my opinion it doesn't say anything about your character. But it says a lot about your situation and your thoughts about it. Only you can know why you feel this way. That's the main question.

I wouldn't look for motivation or discipline. I think when you're being lazy or procrastinating, you have a very good reason to do so. So trying to force yourself with discipline doesn't make sense. For me it has never worked, it did more harm than good.

I agree with Rose. You don't have character problems and forcing yourself won't work. You probably feel overwhelmed by your problems and you don't have good processes for dealing with them. It all feels too hard and unfathomable.

Some good webstites with articles on debt reduction and personal stories exist. I recommend Zen Habits | Simple Productivity

If you find yourself procrastinating a lot then this article will help: Procrastination

[TigerStar337]

I am a lazy person. Laziness is good because I take the path of least resistance. An ambitious person will work hard and likely do extra work for no good reason.

This is my $0.10 of free advice:

I have found that if I plan tasks to reach a goal I will achieve the goal. It does not take much time to plan out the tasks...5 minutes a day. I use Remember The Milk: Online to do list and task management to organize my tasks. They have a plug-in that works on iGoogle. This is Google's enhanced website. I use for my homepage. This does not take much effort, but the playoff is big. A person ends up doing more things in a day. Like Bill Murray said in the movie...baby steps...baby step 1 - plan daily tasks, baby step 2 - plan 1 week goals...3 week goals, 1 year goals. Many times a large task can be conquered by breaking it into several smaller tasks and linking them together.

Like I said, this does not take much effort. It is very effective for me.

[ultimate]

i realise too i put off doing anything useful - like i didnt read this until today when i posted ages ago.

so why did i post and not check it soon after?

one more thing tho -
Ppl at work tease me about my current affairs - low income, no girlfriend etc

its really pissed me off today

have been feeling like lashing out which i know isnt good.
i know if im earning more and have a girlfriend (give people less reasons to tease me) then that is probably the better route.

Also learning how to tease them even more so that whenever they tease me I hit em back 10x more with a tease of my own

I just hate people looking down on me........ but then again i guess thats what people will do if you are down.

im feeling frustrated, angry, sad, stuck

also I think I need a group of people to hang around with more - but i want to be more of a leader - i know humans are tribe people and I think that comes into things here

I will read the posts again and focus on solving things

[smartile]

Hi ultimate,

Right now I don't feel like doing anything. I feel like lying on the couch. I have some things "I should do" on my list:

I should write a blog post
I should setup a network in my home
I should pack for my trip
I should read a book

But none of this is touching or inspiring. When I read Rose of Cairo's message:

You could find out which good reason you have to behave this way. I'm sure it has something to do with your thoughts, with how you see your situation.

I realized right away that I'm thinking I want to have a break and that I deserve one. This makes tons of sense to me because I worked all weekend to get a few personal projects done and now I'm pooped. I haven't had any down time so I'm going to take my own advice and chill out on the couch tonight.

I didn't realize these forums were so helpful, thanks Rose of Cairo!

Cheers,

Stephen Martile — Personal Development Made Simple

[thesnowyeti]

Just remember that you decide how lazy you are. Any time you want, you can choose to get up and do something productive; nobody is stopping you. The will to sit around is natural, we all have it, but genuinely lazy people are the ones who let that will control them. Here's my version of the solution:
Respect yourself enough to know that you deserve to live a better life. Its as simple as that. Think about yourself years from now, the "future you". He'll have a girlfriend, he'll be debt free, and he'll be so grateful that the "present you" decided to give him the respect he deserves by getting up and accomplishing stuff.

[Kaspian]

I was extremely busy in college: I worked on two unrelated degrees (music and biology), worked part time, played in a community orchestra or two, and took gigs, too. After several years of this, I burned out. I dropped the science degree, took one last music history class, played my senior recital, and graduated.

I spent the next two years in recovery. Although I still played horn, and taught a few students, I had no desire to do much, and the thought of learning repulsed me. Since I wasn't forced to work by financial need, I spent hours and hours and hours playing computer games.

Over time, I began to get interested in other things. I wanted to teach more students (I went from 3-4 to 8, and later to 12-14), started a fabulous vegetable garden, went hiking a lot, etc, and in time, I found Steve's blog, which ignited the PD bug. As "real life" became more and more appealing, games became less important to me.

I don't regret the time I "wasted" playing computer games, though. I see it as a necessary step on the way to where I am now—frankly, a healing process. At the time, I didn't have the mental energy and emotional strength to do much else. You could argue that I could/should have done something more with myself at that time, but I had already spent several years forcing myself to do things using will power, and it took a HUGE toll on my well-being. Will power just doesn't work in the long-term. (Steve has a great post about when to use will power:
Self Discipline: Willpower

If I were in your situation, I would ask myself why I want to play so much. Do you like the feeling of progress that a game can offer? Do you use gaming to retreat from the way you feel about your life? Is it simply a way to get down-time? What need gets met in the game that doesn't get met outside of the game? Spend some time writing, asking yourself questions and writing down the answers that come. Allow your answers to lead you to more questions and see if you understand yourself better once you've filled a few pages with words.