My Personality Means I'm Weak-willed?

[jaamkie]

Another INFP here (sometimes INTP)- everything y'all are saying rings so true for me- moments of inspiration, then a lot of drudgery that saps the life from me. I'm trying to find some sort of purpose, but all that rings true to me is "make myself happy"... though definitions of "myself" and "happy" are rather fluid... myself sometimes expanding to encompass the entire world, happy sometimes meaning more just, peaceful, free, etc... I read a lot about economics, politics, agriculture, business, the environment, religion/spirituality, sociology, technology etc and most of my free time is spent trying to comprehend the world and reimagine it better... but I know I don't have the energy or skill to take on any of my particular ideas myself, I'm sort of hoping one day I'll find a single cause worth the necessary commitment... either that or I need to improve my communicative skills to convince other people to take on my vision and implement it for me.
Anyway, good luck to the rest of you!

[m18pak]

Thank you all for your replies. I've been pondering this issue for the last few days now and I've come up with a few ideas that I'd like to now share with you.

The key to succeeding as an INFP is to realize that we rely on our passion for our strength: we are moved only by emotion and inspiration, and not reason.

This is why it is so rare to find an INFP who has a clear sense of purpose or direction, someone who is persistent and tenacious in achieving his goals - it is simply because emotions are like nervous fits, passing quickly and leaving nothing behind, and inspiration but strikes in a flash before vanishing, like ephemeral smoke.

We do not follow the goals and rules that we set ourselves simply because we forget once the moment has passed why we set them in the first place; they become meaningless once the feeling evaporates.

So, there are two main things that we can do to develop our brand of persistence. We can:

A) Be focussed in our lives.

B) Use emotionally stirring and compelling arguments when arguing with or persuading ourselves.


A) means that we must control what we expose ourselves to, because as INFPs often our minds and hearts are so open and receptive that we become as fortresses with our gates thrown wide open for any and all to wander in, so that our minds end up as poisoned gardens choked with foreign weeds.

We have to be careful that we don't become the world's human trash cans, for anybody to throw their rubbish into.

What I'm saying is that we have to decide what we are going to care about in this life, because we can't really afford to care about something unless we're willing to devote our lives to it. We have to remember the magic phrases "so what" and "who cares" and to use them when necessary.

I mean, this is just me, but I think that we really need to learn to know when to not care. We are the bleeding hearts of the world, and we are the mirrors of conscience that reflect all that occurs, but often this means that this part of ourselves overshadows our own individuality. We have to learn SIMPLICITY. We have to learn to think of things as being of no matter when we need to, whether it's the woes of the world or the intoxicating wonder of delicate antiques.

In case you don't fully understand what I'm referring to, think of it as being the simplicity of evil. Think of the cold-blooded, ruthless villain-types you know of, how they do what they do with no compunction or hesitation, and you will know that which I refer to; it is single-mindedness at its most efficient. They are strong because they only care about one thing (whatever it may be) and are willing to do anything to get it. It is this SIMPLICITY that I think we need to learn.

We need to learn to filter out the things that distract us in order to spend our precious time and energy caring about the things that we need to care about. So no TV or books or music or whatever if you find that all you know in your life is vacillation. If needs must be you might even isolate yourself in a cabin in the middle of the woods until you gain some clarity.

There was one guy, jaamkie, who said that he spent a lot of time reading and imagining the world as it could be. Well, I don't intend any attack on him, but I think that's a sure-fire way to ensure that you'll never get anywhere in life. I was like that once too, but I believe now that we must be focussed in what we dream about, lest our dreams drain the life from us with their elusiveness.

Basically, what I'm saying is that we need to learn to close our eyes and block our ears when we can't afford to be distracted.

Notice nothing except that which pertains to whatever it is that you dream about.


B) is a lot simpler. It just means that we learn to give ourselves convincing (to us, that is) reasons why we should or shouldn't do something. So for example, if you have made a resolution to go on a diet in order to lose weight, and you see a delicious-looking cookie lying temptingly on a table, instead of telling yourself how you're on a diet and you shouldn't blah blah because it'll make you fat, say something to yourself like: "I don't want to eat it because I would rather be able to respect myself." (respect yourself as in knowing that you have the discipline to control yourself) or whatever emotionally appeals to you.

So that's it. Please give me constructive feedback if you have any.

[jaamkie]

Originally Posted by m18pak

There was one guy, jaamkie, who said that he spent a lot of time reading and imagining the world as it could be. Well, I don't intend any attack on him, but I think that's a sure-fire way to ensure that you'll never get anywhere in life. I was like that once too, but I believe now that we must be focussed in what we dream about, lest our dreams drain the life from us with their elusiveness.

Hey, thanks for the feedback- yes I've been realizing that at some point I do need to act if I want to actually accomplish anything... but I'm youngish-22 (and female incidentally) and have accomplished more than most people my age, but am trying to figure out how to move from something everyone sees as a "good career" (that I only sometimes enjoy, and only in a doing-sodukus-all-day sort of intellectual puzzle way) into a really meaningful career to me- so it is difficult to make a jump from a current 7 life to something that I think has potential to be a 10 but probably will be a 4 at least to start, especially when the "something" is still fuzzy to me.

The need to filter out the extraneous/overload of inputs I certainly understand- I don't own a TV and don't even try to keep up with popular culture or sports etc- I've realized they don't really add much value to my life but do distract me and take up time that could be better spent.

Also, I've recently met someone rather similar to myself, probably INF/TP though we've never discussed it, a bit older, who claims that he doesn't have any goals for his life... it bothered me that he would say that because he seemed relatively successful and happy etc, we talked about it more and he clarified that he meant he had no particular expectations for his future, like of a house or kids or career goals, and no greater purpose or anything... he just exists, learns new things if they interest him, enjoys the moment and all of the weird wonderful coincidences in life. Yet I would also say he had a strong sense of morals/ethics, a lot of clarity in what he thinks of the world, but he is happy as he is, without having to go out and try to fix the things he thinks are wrong. He also has a good career and I believe did very well in school, yet his approach to it all is still nonchalant and not attached and not caring about outcomes. I guess my point is that this guy is very INF/TP-like and spontaneous/thoughtful and manages to live a very happy life without any grand goals or attempts to "accomplish something"; so he makes me examine why I should expect myself to "accomplish something".

[TigerStar337]

INFP Means I'm Weak-willed? I do not think so. I am INTP.

What is most amusing is I am sure most introverted folks consider such verbal exchanges akin to jibber. Most conversation is a waste of time. This is how I feel. The vast majority of conversation in this world is nothing more than the helpless, aimless masses engaging in reciprocal ego stroking.

Extroverts are the worst at this. These people who talk about nothing KNOW there is no substance to their character, and instead seek out other empty lives to assure them that their lives have some measure of value.

One of the most sad aspects of such behavior is that it is POSSIBLE in this modern world. Imagine 1000 years ago, before modern weapons began to surface... A blabbering idiot, desperate for social interaction. Can you imagine such a warrior behaving in that fashion? Would such a people survive if their only defense were chatterboxes? I think not.

Our people know in their hearts that focused stoicism is the essential character of warriors, artists, scientists... It is reviled by the masses because it is the truest evidence that they are none of these things. They are merely "consumers" at best, and slaves at worst.

That is how I feel. Introverts are a good thing.

BTW - When at work let people know you are an introvert. The extroverts can be so sensitive if you not talking to them every second. If you are quite for a couple minutes, it drives them nuts then they get mad.