|12-20-2007, 10:22 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2007
I am not a real motor mouth but in certain situation I feel compelled to talk. Sometimes it is just to fill the space. More often I feel awkward in social situations. Of course now and then I feel the need to give the world the benefit of my infinite wisdom (lol). Let's add to this mix the fact that I tend to be plain spoken. Calling them as you see them is not always the most effective way of communicating. (yes dear, your butt does look big in that dress).
Any tips on
1. How to shut up (remember it is often reactive behavior)
2. How to be more diplomatic (advice, books, websites, etc.)
|12-21-2007, 03:45 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
I feel your pain!
I also have that problem, not so bad now though.
At least you've realised it, which is a big step already. Changes like this don't happen instantly, it's a long, winding work in progress. As far as how to stop opening your mouth, my best tip is to try and stay as aware of the conversation as possible (ie don't talk when you're distracted by something else) and take a deep breath before replying to anything. The more often you manage to do it, the more often it sticks.
As for how to be straight-forward nicely, I stick with the old adage "Treat people how you'd like to be treated". I'd much rather hear something like "no, they're not very flattering" than "yes, your bum looks big", so that's the way i'd put it to other people. Just think how you'd prefer to hear it if it was you... But you'd probably need to master the art of not automatically opening your mouth first! Good luck.
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