Do we, as human beings, all have the same amount of problems?

[charlottecharade]

The other day I had a conversation with my friend about problems in general. In short, we discussed if we, as human beings, all have the same amount of problems, how we react to the problems we face, and the possibility of simply being happy to help us not dwell on the problems, thus decreasing our amount of problems overall. Tell me what you think:

Steaklover: Do you think some people have less problems than others? Or are people balanced out? So everyone has the same amount of problems but some are more problematic than others?

Daisy101: I think we all have the same amount of problems but we choose to be affected by them differently. For example, the magnitude by which each problem influences to a person varies with each individual. Some people swirl their whole life around one problem that is seemingly blown out of proportion in the public’s point of view. But in their mind that problem is their world, or should I say, nightmare.

Steaklover: I don’t get it. I think some people are just better at life. Some people score higher, appearing to have fewer problems.

Daisy101: Some people score higher, thus hiding their current problems, appearing to have a better grip on life. But they are essentially hiding their problems, thus never dealing with them.

Steaklover: So you don’t agree? You think people just ignore their weaknesses? Don’t you think some people enjoy life more?

Daisy101: I think it’s a little of both, such as looking on the positive, ignoring the weaknesses, and thus enjoying life a bit more.

Steaklover: So if you are able to look past your problems you therefore have less problems. Some people cannot do that.

Daisy101: Great point. You can DECREASE your amount of problems by choosing to look past them. However, you cannot erase them. You decrease them by choosing to move on and, should I say, "delete" the extra baggage from your mind.

Steaklover: But I don’t think this works in real life. You cannot just ignore and be happy. Moving on would fix your problems, but ignoring is not fixing. [pause] So basically, what you said is everyone has the same amount of problems but they all react differently.

Daisy101: Yeah I believe we all have the same amount of problems because seriously, who has ever lived the “perfect” life? And besides, those “perfect” lives end up being far less perfect than they let on to be. They often hide under their masks of money and fame, projecting a “perfect” image to the general population. And yet, they are dying inside. [This is a stereotypical example]

Steaklover: How do you know this? Rich people seem pretty happy to me. Take Steve Carrel [of the 40 Year Old Virgin]. He’s got a family, kids, and he’s super rich.

Daisy101: But how do we know if he's really happy? Having a family and kids and being rich is the epitome of American success. Patrick Dempsey once said something like "fame is a high—a dangerous kind of high. But at the end of the day it leaves you very empty and alone."

Steaklover: Yeah I’m saying that there are some who are famous, rich, and not empty.

Daisy101: Yeah it really just depends on the person, aside from the money and fame. You just have to look at who they really are.

Steaklover: Yes, can’t argue with that. So the blame is still on yourself.

[Spiritual]

Fascinating question, and it will probably be hard to give a clear answer to it. It depends whether you believe in things like the Law of Attraction or not.

Myself I don't cling to religions or belief-systems, but I'm more of a enjoyer of symbols. Now I have a book about buddhism, I never finished it completely. But I did find a little jewel inside of it. The book talked about what Buddha said. He seemed to have said that everyone has the same amount of suffering. This can be on spiritual/material/emotional and every other possible way.

This really struck home for me since I never bought into the idea of "Poor and homeless people have a worse life then people who have a house and money. People from all different levels of life all have their own experiences, problems and issues to deal with. Someone who is homeless can be very close with family, where a rich person would be lonely and burned-out.
Normally we value family and friends higher than money, so why is having less money worser than having no friends and family?

But then we get to the second point, do problems equal suffering? Some people seem to have all the problems, but don't suffer by them. And some people seem to always suffer, while having no problems.

I think you can't generalize the problems/suffering concept, but I do believe that it really depends on every person how he or she deals with problems.

[Parthon]

It depends what you define as a problem.

I see a problem as the gap between what you want/desire and what reality is currently providing. Most people see this as a problem and something to complain about. It's not the way they want it to be and they'll tell you so. Given that a problem is just the difference between what you imagine, and what is in reality, that means problems themselves aren't real.

Problems only exist in people's minds. There are no real problems in reality. You can't point to a problem and say "That's a problem" in the same way you can for a tree. A problem can only be defined by the opposite of something else. Either something exists in reality that shouldn't, like pain, or something doesn't exist that should, like not having enough money. That's all.

Suffering from problems comes when this gap is viewed negatively and no action is taken to eliminate it. It allows people to complain and wallow in negativity. This is the sort of problems that everyone talks about really, and it's these kinds of problems that lessen your quality of life. It's not the situation you find yourself in, but the gap between the way it is and the way you think it should be.

This is the way I view problems, and it boils them down to a point of view, which anyone can change. Nobody has problems, they just see them depending on how they look. This causes some people to see far more problems than someone else. On top of that, you have the people in denial who see a problem, then pretend it's not there, while at the same time think about it all the time. There are others who just see problems not as a cause of suffering, but as the gap between reality and desire. They see the world for what it really is, can see the problem as the gap, and if they wish take action towards minimising the gap throught action in reality or working on changing their point of view. It's where the saying "In every problem there is an opportunity." comes from.

Simply: Problems are created by people, which is why some have heaps and others have few, and the suffering caused is simply from the viewpoint of the person who has the problem.

[Brutha]

You talk about problems like they are bad things.

Some people are constantly seeking new problems to solve, to grow and to succeed. That makes them happy.

Living a good live is about living problems and growing with them. The funny thing is, when you solve one problem you simply get another bigger one, which is more challenging.

[AttractIt]

(I fully agree with you Brutha),

What's interest me is why did you talk about it?

I wish, that one day we stop looking at problems as p-r-o-b-l-e-m-s,
but as temporary obstacles,
we can have such an amazing life if we just say we want or already have!

Cheers,

To be helped in order to help,