Why is it so hard?

[Hunab Ku]

I am just plan lazy, that is the best words for it and I am being honest with myself that that is what it is. I work a job a don't like and I am bored with and Time to seems to go WAY to fast, day in and day out seem like "one day" and months seem like one week and I wish it wasn’t this fast. I tried to go finish my degree in Graphics,but i went for a year and then stop after I came to conclusion that i don't want to be a graphic designer and now i have a BFA that is not finished and i feel lazy about what to do about school in general, i feel like don't want to do it at all.. On the upside, my marriage is amazing and we get along so great and I have found the balance between the UPS and DOWNS in my relationship with her so I am happy with that and I can honestly say that I am the most happy I have ever been in my life, but it just seems I do WAY to much thinking about how I want things to be (job,money,direction,freedom) and no action, I want to NOT work and do nothing and have money security without having to do anything to get it, I know that is wishful thinking and I know earning it and making things happen that the money will come or not, but its just I don't want to act to make things change, I just feel lazy. I do have some bad habits that need to change and I believe they do weigh me down a bit and I believe I have taken some action like I starting reading the book by Steven covey “7 steps to highly effective people” which Is a great book so far and I have been reading on this site a lot and reading Steve Pavlina blogs, BUT I feeling weighted with laziness…and this ”don’t want to do nothing” attitude…It is hard to change and I know fear can drive us to actions and choices that don’t benefit us. I guess I want the easy way in everything; ( I think this is my source issue?) Its like I know what to do and what I should do but I don’t do it…I do art and that has been my talent since I was able to pick up a pen but I don’t do enough and I feel I will lose this talent and wanted to figure If this could be a business for me because I do NOT want to have a boss and I want my freedom to make my own hours and money. I can tell my focus is off and which makes me unproductive which then makes me lazy and then I do nothing to benefit my life. Its a like a vicious circle, I know there is a way out of this for me( I have tried to make myself believe which seems to help a bit)…but I guess it takes time to change the way you have been for so long into something so new…sorry so long. I could go on and on..

[ONEbyONE]

Hi

I haven't made a close read to what you wrote, so I might be way off here, but here goes.

First of all, I'm not one who has had a great deal of succes in doing what I want either, though I know how to do it, and what I should do. Lately though I've had a lot more succes, and it seems to go up and down in periods.

I guess that you've some fundamental habits that keeps making you "want" to do something else than what you really want, one of the best ways of beating those, though also a very long way that I've only used once, is probably Steve's 30 days to succes trial, it should be easy to find.

Secondly, you could also try to let this thread be something you can go into every time you're about to do something you know you shouldn't in stead of something else, write it here, I guess in the time you're writing it, you'll most likely get seconds thought.
You know like counting to 10 while you're angry.

The last advice is something I don't know would work, and it's actually something I pretty much just thought up a couple of days ago, I'm thinking about doing the same thing myself.

Regards OBO

[Hunab Ku]

Thanks for the reply, that is good idea to write in here when I know I am going to something I shouldn't do. I want to change but I guess I don't want to work and strive to make it happen. I know this is impossible and I just have to accept that "I" and ONLY "I" can make the changes I need to make and that if I don't do anything that nothing will change...sometimes I try to think about the easy way out in things and I go to the lottery for my chance out and just win the money and freedom to do what i want, when i want...but its more WORTHY to the human soul to work for what you want and need and make changes in life instead of just being handed money to live off of for the rest of my life with only buying a lottery ticket. Sometimes I tell myself that I meant to make the changes and earn and work for my freedom instead of getting it handed to me from the lottery. I think to much and I want the easy way out…how should I change that way of thinking? The mind is so powerful…

[ONEbyONE]

Hi again

I completely agree, changing is up to you, and only you. Though often it's hard to go out of your comfort zone, beating the usual rutine with the usual habits without a feeling of "unpleasure" or "no energy". As Steve wrote in one of his blogs, then when you've you "momentum" or to say, when you know you've the strength of doing something you want, then it's a good idea first of all to use it to limit your acces to things you really don't want. (I'm thinking about his weight watchers example in one of his blogs, I think it's the one with willpower, discipline, industry, etc.)

Like you, I do also have some goals, and before in time, I usually tried to search the internet for random things that would tell me something along the lines of "do this, and this, and this, and you won't have to do all the things you thought you'd have to do!" I never found anything like that, I found things that resembled a bit, but none the less no short cut has worked. Though after all, as a smart man once said "A shortcut is the longest way between to points", and I've experienced it to be very similar, after all, if I'd followed Steve's 30 days trial from the beginning (a couple of years ago) I'd have been much further, so it's a lot about you been able to have an overview, a perspective of your situation today, and in the future.
Usually things that seems urgent, might not be so, and maybe it's a good idea to sacrifice some time now, to be more efficient later on.
So this got a bit long, and what I'm basically trying to say, is that using things like the lottery for achieving your goal, is what I call random shots, it's like, imagine you want to hit a certain tree in the woods with a gun. You shoot randomly, and you'll most likely not hit the tree you wish for, maybe in 1:1000 you'll, though not likely. Now about the lottery, I don't know how many possible outcomes there's in your country, but here the odds for winning should be around 1:11.000.000, or to say that there'll in average be a million dollar winner once every second week out of a population of 5.5 millions. (Now I didn't do the calcs now, so I might be wrong about the actual numbers, but anyway it's just to show, that hoping for easy way out, isn't only the wrong thing according to your own moral, as you stated in the last post, it's also the hard way out.)

Now as I final note, I don't know how many films you're seeing, but if I remember correct, then usually in films, a lot of people have to bypass a lot of fear, stress, and even pain to achieve something. Though it's often a life - dead situation in film, I'm wondering a bit how weird it's, that many of us wander in daily life with things we know we want, and things we know we don't want, and yet when we try to break the comfort zone for longer than what our momentum allows us to do, then we often fall back to where we started, though in the movie the people there won't even consider any discomfort. I think this could be because of their extreme situation they've no longer any comfort zone, and thereby, maybe the best way of making progress, when you know how, but you can't get yourself to do it, is somehow to never be in -, or at least challenge your comfort zone for that period.

Regards OBO

[PokerEnthusiast]

So....

- You feel your life is passing you by
- You would like to feel a sense of accomplishment
- You want to make easy money
- You don't want to work
- You don't want a boss
- You want the freedom to make your own hours

.... sounds to me like you want to be a poker player.


My advice....

- Try it out
- Start out small
- Love the game
- Get good at it
- Learn to manage your bankroll effectively

To some people this will probably sound like bad advice. People who are against all gambling will say: "It's way too risky; you will go broke" or "Poker is an unethical way to make a living" or that "Nobody can make a living doing that".

But if you are smart; you can make a lot (and I mean A LOT) of money as a poker player.

[norbert]

Sounds to me like you need to develop the habit of taking action consistently in your everyday life. It's like a muscle: the more you do it, the better you get at it. My way is simply this: "Don't resist chances." (from the Nike ad). If I get the chance to point my attention to something (i.e. the thought comes up in my mind to do something), I simply decide not to resists this time and I just do it.

Another point of view: you sacrifice your middle and long term success for your short term successes. You do succeed on the short term: you usually do what you actually feel like doing. Unfortunately, this rarely is what you want on the middle or long term. A possible way to success is to consciously sacrifice your short term successes for long the term ones.

But the main point is this: it seems like you mostly use your competitive mind. Try to come from your creative mind more often and miracles happen!

There's a program and a book which I think would change your life:

• Enlightened Warrior Training by Peak Potentials, especially where they talk about taking action no matter what
• The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles, especially the passing from the competitive to the creative mind

[Bruce Achterberg]

Hunab Ku,

Right now I'd say you're in exactly the type of mindset you want to steer clear of. You might think that you can still get results while in that mindset, and you may be able to. Personally though, I find that if I'm in a negative, "I need to fix things" mindset, any action I take is tainted by that mindset and ultimately produces squat in terms of results.

I'm essentially in a similar situation to you, but I'm a little less optimistic about my situation. I think it's because I'm a little bit further down the path then you are, but don't worry, a lot of what you describe is all too familiar territory for me.

My advice is to stick with it. It too me months of near no success before I started to gain even a little bit of ground, but all of that time spent trying various approaches and exploring things helped me to identify patterns. I still have to deal with the same issues, but since I've seen these patterns before, I'm much better and more efficient at dealing with them.

I also advise you to read this article:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...with-yourself/

I cannot emphasise enough how much that article mirrors my experiences (even if I'm only just getting started). I think the most important concept it covers is that the habit of personal development and continous self improvement (or attempted self improvement) is more important then the specific actions you take.

For me, I've largely found that all of my actions failed. It took me a long time to realise that "hey, this isn't working". At that point I decided to relax my approach a bit and go with the flow. I still have everything I've learned so far behind me, but what's more important and what I constantly draw is my experience that helps me figure out what is effective in dealing with what.

Right now I'm toying with trying to "do" less and focus more on action that is internally congruent with my emotional guidance. It took me weeks of reading and journaling to understand some of the concepts related to this one, but it seems to be the way forward for me, and while it's challenging, it seems very much worth it. If I'm wrong, though, I'll just try something else. Nothing's going to stop me from going after what I want.

Realise that largely, when you get started, you're going to suck. This is something I had to come to terms with myself. I thought that if I had no experience doing something, I'd just be able to find one technique or read one book and I'd have the ability to do what it was I wanted to do. Unfortunatly it doesn't work like that, and you'll find there's a big, big difference between understanding something and having the skill to apply it. Not to mention having enough knowledge of yourself and your own abilities and how all of that relates to the things you do.

So don't be discouraged -- be inspired. If you're currently frustrated and feeling bad-feeling feelings, I suggest you take some time off to do something you enjoy. Don't worry about your "problems" and just chill for a bit. Then come back to what you want to do -- not what you feel you should do or what you feel you have to do -- with a fresh perspective. Your problems won't have disappeared, but I think you'll find that the negative mindset that was perpetuating them has.

[Bruce Achterberg]

As a side note...

Hunab Ku, your post would be greatly improved by a bit of paragraph spacing. I scanned your post but avoided fully reading it because, ugh, wall of text. I 'could' edit it myself being a moderator, but I don't like doing that, nor is it really something I 'can' do (even thought I'm technically able to).

If you want an example of paragraph spacing, see my above post. It's still crazy long, but much easier to process with your eyes.

Intelligently placed paragraphs are best, but if you don't want to do that, simple hit the "enter" (or "return" as some people call it) button twice every now and then. My eyes (and many others) will thank you!

[Hunab Ku]

Thank you all for the great replies and links! This is a great site and I hope to be on here a lot. Looking for examples from others is the best to see that it can be done with action.

I know I have lots of ideas that I don't action and a creative mind I don't use to its fullest extent. I know something can come out of my music and art if only I apply myself. I guess laziness and fear of leaving the comfort zone has been my thorn in my side for to long. I really believe I am destined for great things because of the Ideas and thoughts i have and my support team (my sweet wife,friends,family).

A new year is ahead of me and I believe this will be the year I shine and use my talents and my mind to make something of myself and to hopefully open people's minds to my creative attributes and Ideas! I want to leave a wave of resonates through the people I meet!

[z1freeride]

Willpower alone cannot cause permanent change.

Also, keep in mind that no matter how inspirational or motivational anything you read on this website (or in any book or from any speaker), it cannot cause permanent change either.

SO many people set "New Year's Resolutions" but give up after a few weeks or a month or two. The only way to cause permanent change is to change your core belief patterns. You may not be aware of what you believe at the subconscious level. I would guess that laziness isn't your real problem. You may have an underlying belief system that says "I can't do this" or "This is too hard." Because of that, it appears you are lazy.

Remember, as a man thinketh, so is he.

I would suggest:
1. Don't feel guilty. Guilt only makes you resist change. Accept yourself for who you are. You are great. You have potential.
2. Analyze your self-talk. Is there negative self-talk going on?
3. Change your thought/belief patterns BEFORE you try to change your actions. Because actions derive from your belief system.

How to change your thought patterns (3 steps). This is from Robert Anthony's Advanced Formula For Total Success book, chapter 6 or 7:

1. Affirmations. Create a few positive affirmations that you can put in your room, bathroom, wallet, wherever. "I enthusiastically love to work for money now." etc. etc.

2. Visualize. Visualize yourself how you would like to be in 3, 6, 12 months.

3. Attach emotion. When you visualize yourself, what emotions would you like to feel? Excitement, peace, enthusiasm, calm, confidence, etc....

As core belief patterns change, your actions will naturally change for the better.

[Hunab Ku]

That is a great way of putting it and I can total agree I sound like you state ( its to hard, I can't ETC) Your words are quite intriguing and makes sense.. thanks!