Aloofness! (and awful memory)

[ArtlessMonster]

A friend likes to joke around with me that I have Alzheimer's at age 20. So, I was telling another friend about the joke via instant message while at the same time I had left a sheet of cookies in the oven for over two hours. In fact, literally, about 9 times out of 10, I'll forget that I'm cooking something entirely. I have to write everything that I want to accomplish down, and even then I usually forget about it. My episodic/emotional memory is absolutely awful too, but my memory of facts/logic is in tact. I try to do puzzles and use software thats supposed to help with memory but it's soooo boringgg and the results have been far from phenomenal.

My family has a really, really, really bad history of stimulant addiction, and I've tried those too (prescribed by a doctor, not recreational). Horrid anxiety and no real help.

I know ginkgo helps, and fish oil. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Not necessary just supplements either, if there's anything you've done that helps with awareness/memory (not necessarily concentration, more like general awareness/awareness of your surroundings/remembering your goals), I'd like to hear it.

[openeyes]

Set a timer with a note on it reminding you of what you need to do (turn off the oven, go to class, wash clothes, or whatever). Or simply put the timer where you'll see what you need to be doing when you go to turn it off, such as on the stove.

Also try things that improve overall circulation, such as aerobics, and get enough rest.

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by ArtlessMonster

I know ginkgo helps, and fish oil. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Not necessary just supplements either, if there's anything you've done that helps with awareness/memory (not necessarily concentration, more like general awareness/awareness of your surroundings/remembering your goals), I'd like to hear it.

Get your motorcycle license.

Really.

Since I got my ticket for 2-wheeled travel, I've become hyper-aware of traffic patterns, potential dangers and the way cars move on the road. The world looks very different from behind a visor.

Combine that with the rock-drummer coordination one needs to manage brakes (right hand and right foot), throttle (right hand & wrist), clutch (left hand) and gears (left foot) all basically at once with different pressures and tensions, and you start to get a really good indication of the awareness of what your hands, feet and head are doing. It's most acute in heavy or high-speed traffic.

As for memory, I really can't say. Writing stuff down helps sometimes. Not the fact that you've necessarily got a note or record of what you want to remember, but the very act of writing things down tends to help.

[Ilya]

ArtlessMonster, at some point in my life I thought I have Alzheimer's. I didn't know the name, but I knew the disease that affects memory. I was 12 at the time.
Many people don't realize that we live in the world hugely packed with information, attention attractors, actions, decisions, memories and so on. ]
And humans are not naturally suited to managing all this. We can learn if taught properly, but if not, we can have the kind of problem that you are having.

Don't worry. Forgetting that you have something on the stove, especially if your attention is diverted somewhere else is normal. It makes you a bad cook - good cooks always watch their dishes, but it doesn't make you extremely aloof. If this wasn't a common problem, kitchen timers would not be invented.

I suggest you try GTD task management system. Do a search on Google if you don't know what it is. In a nutshell, it is the system of tracking tasks where you don't rely on memory at all to recall your tasks. You just write everything down. When I did it for the first time I've realised that I had several hundreds of things that needed to be done. I even remembered them somehow, but there was no chance I could recall them at a proper time. For that alone GTD deserves the hype it has. With tasks out of the way, you may want to evaluate how bad or good your memory really is. As far as I understand you've successfully recalled the situation with your friend over IM and the cookies in the stove. I would expect much less from a person with "absolutely awful" episodic memory. And this episode came across as very emotional.

But if you are worried, try writing a diary, or private blog every day. In the evening set aside the time to remember the events of the day. I think you will be amazed how much and with what details you will recall it. Plus you will have an avalanche of associated memories from the past. Write them all down as well. For a few first days you may have a busy time doing it, but your mind will get the idea, that whatever it has remembered is actually important for you. And it will improve your recall skills.

[Rosie]

I haven't read other posts, but It sounds like you're having problems concentrating. I have the exact same probably when something is eating away at my mind.

Your inablility to focus, and pay attention to the task at hand, could be an indication that you have ADD. It doesn't necessarily mean you have it, but you are showing some symptoms, so it's worth checking out.

[Lola]

Sounds like ADD to me, just because it's all so familiar! I've got it bad. Although I made it to age 40 without being diagnosed. Only came up then because my son was tested and diagnosed in high school. When I read the psychologist's report, I said - "hey! That sounds a lot like me!" You're probably pretty intelligent, the ADD/high IQ combo happens a lot, and explains how we make it as far as we do in life without knowing what's going on.

You're right that treatment - whether meds, supplements, dietary - are only part of the solution. You need coping skills built into your life, BIG TIME. Here's a laundry list of mine. And read this book for some ideas. Amazon.com: Driven To Distraction : Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood: Books: Edward M. Hallowell,John J. Ratey

1. A portable clip-on timer. So when you're cooking/baking anything you can put the timer on your body. That way when you wander outside for "just a minute" (that turns into lots of minutes because you start playing with the dogs, then notice the garden needs weeding, the roses need watering...) you'll get notification to remember about the food cooking and won't walk in to a grease fire on top of your stove. (True story by the way).

2. Alarms for lots of things. Use your cell-phone alarms, kitchen timers, whatever works to prompt you to stop whatever you're doing and do what you're supposed to do next.

3. Write everything down. EVERYTHING. I use a daytimer that I carry with me, a big calendar over my desk, and I have a dry-erase board hanging in my kitchen. The dry-erase board is great for keeping a running grocery list and short-term notes to myself.

4. Speaking of grocery lists - years ago I created a spread sheet of anything and everything I might ever possibly want to buy at the grocery store. Even making lists like I do, I'd inevitably forget something on shopping day. It's not such a big deal now that it's just me, but when I was raising a family, I'd print my list out and check off everything I needed.

5. Minimize chaos and distractions in your personal space as much as possible. There's enough wild activity going on in your head! You don't need it in your environment, too.

6. Establish a habit of meditating. Yeah, I know. Sounds impossible, right? But once the habit was established, I have found meditation to be a valuable tool in calming and focusing my brain.

7. Routine, routine, routine! You're less likely to *space* regular, everyday stuff if you establish and stick to a daily routine. Then when special events or activities outside of the norm occur, use your lists to remind you where you're supposed to be, doing what, when.

8. DAILY physical activity - OUTSIDE. Walking, running, biking...whatever. Keeps your head clear. (There's studies showing the benefits of engaging in physical activity outdoors on kids with ADD).

9. Purchase all small appliances with an automatic shut-off feature.

I'm sure there's other things I do but I'm drawing a blank at the moment (ha!). One other note about stimulant abuse - I worked for a clinical psychologist for several years and he often made the statement that people who make it to adulthood with undiagnosed and untreated ADD, WILL self-medicate. Drugs, alcohol, copious amounts of caffeine - whatever they can get their hands on that will help them feel "right". That may be what's going on with your family. And as far as meds are concerned, if you've only tried the one medication, I encourage you to work with your physician and give some others a shot. There's lots of meds with different effects on different people. There may be something else that works really well for you.

[DayInTheLife]

Are you preoccupied most of the time?

In my experience, most thoughts are driven by habit only, and serve only to distract a person from the present moment.

You can't remember things if you are preoccupied while you are doing them. Get a book on mindfulness.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle addresses this directly.