Doing the Wrong Thing

[m18pak]

If you do the wrong thing, what is the best way to deal with it?

A lot of the self-improvement stuff that I have read simply seems to take the attitude of "Don't worry about it. Tomorrow is a new day, so just keep moving forward and never look back."

I have been trying to do this for a while now, and I find that I keep ending up just doing the same wrong things again and again.

Should I reward-punish myself? try to learn where I went wrong and what made me go wrong? or just keep plugging forward?

I should clarify that I don't mean I keep making the same mistakes, because that implies I do it by accident or freak chance or due to some uncontrollable circumstance.

I mean that I can see clearly that it's not what I should, or even want to, do, but I somehow still end up doing it.

For example: If I know that I have all these things I need to do in a day, I'll still end up doing nothing the whole day. (And please don't respond with advice on the causes and remedies of Procrastination. I have read many books on the matter. )

I mean, am I just not competent enough to actually obey myself? Do I have unrealistic expectations or something?!

Help me please, anyone.

[Ilya]

You are being very abstract. If you could give some examples, the answers could be more useful for you. There is no universal reason of procrastination. There are some principles, but each time they are applied a little differently.

With the abstract information you've provided, I would go with option

try to learn where I went wrong and what made me go wrong?

Being more conscious about the problem is never a bad thing. Once you figure out what is wrong really, then you can reward-punish yourself if it helps you to learn the new behavior.

Really, try to be more specific. Your description can easily apply both to having a smoke and to staging a grand theft. The solution will be different in each case.

[TheFlyingMan]

Often times we behave in certain ways because of really deep patterns. Find out what the patterns are, find out what the feeling is behind the pattern. The Buddhists call it mindfulness. Being aware of your thoughts and feelings all the time, and after a while you will detect yourself wanting to start the action.

And after that you will catch yourself before you even start it...

Check out the emotional mastery series on my blog for a bit more info...

[Lola]

Originally Posted by m18pak

I have been trying to do this for a while now, and I find that I keep ending up just doing the same wrong things again and again.

Is it really helpful to label your actions as right or wrong?

[Brutha]

A lot of the self-improvement stuff that I have read simply seems to take the attitude of "Don't worry about it. Tomorrow is a new day, so just keep moving forward and never look back."

It isn't so much that tomorrow is a new day. Today is a wonderful day.

I mean, am I just not competent enough to actually obey myself? Do I have unrealistic expectations or something?!

Most people aren't doing everything they think they should do, that is natural.