Unable to express

[prats]

Hi All,

I need some help here, I have a problem, I think the problem is X but it could totally be different i.e Y. So I am writing here to get some help!

I somehow find it difficult to express or speak my state of mind.I am good at writing but when it comes to speaking my mind I miss few important things and speak JUST to the point, I don't like beating around the bush BUT I cant think of anything else but the point I want to make.At times I feel jealous of people who can add some drama to the point and present it in such a nice way, when I compare the content it will be same but the presentation is poles apart.Am I shy of public speaking? or do I have the feeling that I am not important so why shd people listen to me ? or am I not realizing that I have fear of public speaking ? or I dont know what?

I want to speak some X amount,by the time it comes out in words it becomes x/2. The lost half has some important points as well.

I at times wonder ,dont I really think of the big picture? How can I improve my condition, first of all what is it ?

Kindly Help!

[eblight]

Do you feel your pointed comments are received well by others and that they understand you and accept you for what you have to say? Would you be terrified to stand up and address a group of people? If your response is "I would" then that could be a challenge for you to perhaps join a group where you could develop your speaking skills. Also if you have any issues with self esteem and confidence these sorts of groups are great for that. I used to be really afraid of talking to large groups. My throat would become constricted and my voice wavery. I was helped by a mentor and after that when I got up to speak in a group I surprised myself by being able to speak freely, keep on track and present what I had to say so that others responded and listened.

[Ilya]

Prats, how do you feel when you are speaking you mind? Do you have this sickly feeling of weak knees and cramped stomach? If you do, you are having an adrenalin rush. You are scared and it doesn't let you think straight. It is possible to take it under control. Especially if you are talking to one person or in small groups. Even if you are talking to a large group of people it can be managed.

In any case, slow down. There is no problem that you've missed a point, if you have time to pause, remember it and stick it in some other part of the phrase. But if you rush and finish the phrase. Your only chance is the next phrase. Also there is this "And by the way" spell, that lets to to add anything that you've forgotten to the conversation.

Public speaking courses might help you if you need practice, but first work on the attitude. You still manage to communicate at least half of your ideas. It is very good actually.

[prats]

Thanks for your inputs, Please let me know if there are any speaking groups that I can join, just to listen and put my thoughts in a nicer way.

[Ilya]

Prats, I can't suggest any group apart from Toastmasters. Not because I'm with them, and not because they are the best. It's because I don't know where do you live, and even if I did, it's unlikely I know any group in your country... except Toastmasters. They seem to be everywhere.
Steve has joined Toastmaster quite a while ago and you can read his testimonials in his blog.

[prats]

Thanks Ilya, I live in virginia. Let me check if there is a group in my place.

[Freelancer]

I second toastmasters, joined them about 3 months (5 meetings/3 speeches) ago and my confidence in front of a group has already increased. Great structure, well thought out.